A/N: the tiktok audio stuck in my head for posting this is:

"The hoes gon LOOOOVE this!"

take that as you will ;)

(aka nsfw warning)

___

- Cass's POV -

Rick finally pulls the car up to the nursery, shifting it into park and looking at the place in interest through the dusty windshield. In the middle of the concrete parking lot is a squat, enclosed space with overgrown vegetation at every corner. It's like a fat weed, sprouting from a giant block of concrete, somehow thriving against all odds. 

"Okay, Herschel gave me a long list of the summer seeds and a few new tools that we will need," I announce, pulling out the folded yellow sheet from my pocket, Herschel's looped handwriting scrawled over the page.

"Alright. Let's go," Rick says roughly, shutting off the car and getting out, slamming the door behind him, causing a defeated sigh to escape my lips.

I can't, for the life of me, figure out what is up with him. For the past couple of weeks, he's been acting really... off.

Even during our thirty-minute drive over here. He just stared out the windshield silently as he drove, barely even acknowledging my presence. I would say something and he just simply nodded his head or responded shortly, not sparing a single glance at me.

It's so confusing. Being around him used to be effortless. Joking around and conversations came easily. Even if we were upset at each other, or didn't agree, we would just argue it out- which we did more than a few times. Now it's like trying to talk to a brick wall. It's completely unfamiliar territory and I absolutely hate it.

My door opens beside me, making me flinch, lost in my thoughts. "Come on," Rick says, his tone softer this time as he holds the door open for me, nudging his head to the side. I flash him a quick and apologetic smile and clamber out awkwardly. Then I twist and bend over to grab the two empty backpacks we need to fill up with supplies. As I turn back to him, his odd expression takes me aback for a moment but I push past it, handing him his backpack.

Taking the bag, he lets go of the door and walks away wordlessly, drawing his machete from his belt. I shut the door behind me, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and jogging to catch up with him, my knife at the ready.

The small nursery is encased with a tall and rusty chain-link fence, behind it, an unkempt wilderness of plants sprouting in every corner, a large cluster of vines completely covering a wooden structure in the back. The overgrown trees poke through the wire fence, rampant vines expanding in all directions. They are steadily growing up and around the fence, around other plant pots and tables, and extending further into the parking lot.

Once we reach the entrance, Rick glances at me for a moment before pushing open the gate carefully, clanking his machete loudly against the fence, the jarring noise calling out any walkers to make themselves known.

As if on cue, one to the right of Rick groans loudly, shuffling out from under one of the large trees, coming directly for us. It's short and gaunt, wearing an apron with the nursery's logo on it, half its jaw missing. Rick doesn't hesitate to step forward, slamming his machete into its forehead, slitting it in two. As the walker's body sags to the ground lifelessly, Rick rips his weapon back with a grunt, turning to look at me to check that I'm alright. I nod back at him once, my eyes widened slightly.

I blink back the shock at watching him kill so skillfully after months of only seeing farmer Rick. There was a clear anger he just unleashed onto that walker- an anger I haven't seen in a long time.

After waiting for more walkers, and seeing none, the two of us slowly and carefully walk in, maneuvering around the vastly overgrown vegetation surrounding us. The incredibly tall and thriving greenery provides decent shade above us, which is a pleasant break from the intense sun pounding down on us, not a cloud in the sky.

"We should get to that building," Rick says, nodding towards the small wooden structure, vines enveloping the exterior, covering every inch of the wooden paneling.

"Yeah," I mutter in agreement, following him traverse carefully around the cactus section. As I slowly maneuver around one large cactus with concerningly long spikes, I wonder how on earth all these plants are surviving- let alone thriving like this. Gingerly, I make my way around, highly aware of my bare legs, thanks to my idiotic decision to wear shorts today, which could easily get scratched to shit by these cactus needles.

Once we reach the building in the back, the stubborn front door won't budge, so Rick has to kick it down in one swift motion, making me gulp. Damn. He turns to me panting, "You ready?" he asks, and I nod wordlessly, pushing down that familiar sensation of attraction. I haven't seen bad-ass Rick in a while, I forgot what it does to me.

As Rick stands there looking at me for a beat, a huge walker suddenly careens out of the darkness of the building and onto him, moaning and snapping its jaw loudly, the two of them collapsing onto the ground. "Fuck" Rick grunts, his face contorted with struggle as he tries to push the exceptionally large undead creature off of him as it bites incessantly at his face.

Panic and adrenaline shoot through my body and I lurch forward, plunging my knife into the walker's head with a grunt of effort, making it drop lifelessly onto Rick. I help shove the enormous walker off of him and remove my knife from the walker's skull, my heart pounding in my chest. Jesus, that guy had to be 6'5 at least.

My worried eyes search Rick's body, my chest heaving. "Are you okay? Did it get you?" I question with concern, my voice wavering slightly with panic. He grimaces as he sits up, shaking his head.

"No. I'm fine." He grunts, grabbing my outstretched hand to pull himself to his feet. I let out a breath of relief. Thank god.

"Thank you," Rick tells me genuinely, placing his hand on my shoulder for a brief moment, before turning and peering through the dark doorway.

"Of course," I respond breathlessly, trying to suppress the way my heart is fluttering.

You have a boyfriend. And Rick is not him. So no butterflies or fuzzy feelings around him are allowed.

Not anymore.  

"Alright, looks clear," Rick determines with a nod, before carefully stepping around the dead walker and entering the dark building.

Luckily, he's right. There aren't any more walkers inside, so Rick and I gather our supplies quickly, without the hassle of dealing with more undead assholes.

It's a small and dark building, vines encroaching from the outside through gaps in the windows, adding a frustrating amount of more things for me to trip on while blocking the sunlight. I'm already clumsy enough, I didn't need assistance making it easier to trip and fall flat on my face.

There are only two rooms, what seems to be an area to purchase plants, and behind it, their ever so handy storage room.

We rummage through said store room full of packets of seeds, grabbing all that we can fit in the backpacks. We also pay a visit to the wall of gardening tools to take what we are lacking. I notice how many of them would make surprisingly good weapons. Once we are fully stocked after double-checking Herschel's list, Rick turns to leave.

"Rick. Wait a sec" I breathe, holding onto the storage rack to my right. Rick glances back over his shoulder, his very full backpack slung on one shoulder.

"Yeah?" He asks, in that same tired and uninterested tone as usual, barely looking at me. I gulp, knowing I have to talk about it- figure out what's wrong so I can have one of my best friends back.

"There's something up. With you," I point out, raising my eyebrows in emphasis and nodding in his direction. He just sighs, unclenching and clenching his jaw, looking to the side.

"It doesn't matter. We have the supplies, let's go," Rick dismisses flatly, but I shake my head, crossing my arms defiantly.

Rick looks at me with exasperation as I stubbornly stay firmly planted in my spot. "I'm not leaving until you tell me," I reply simply, and he sighs, dropping his backpack to the floor.

"Is this why you made me take you with me? To blackmail me?" Rick asks, amusement tinted in his voice. I quirk a relieved smile.

"You know me so well," I smile jokingly, turning my head to the side, indicating to him I'm waiting for him to explain himself.

"It hasn't been easy since Lori-"

"Uh uh. No. I know how you were affected by Lori. We all saw it. This is different. Is it the pressure of this new community? Not getting to kill walkers every day? Rick-talk. It's me," I implore, my eyes searching his desperately. Whatever it is, I'm sure we can figure it out together.

He looks aside. Knowing he has no way out.

"Fine. It's to do with you. And that new boyfriend of yours," Rick mutters, gritting his words through his teeth. I furrow my brows, something in me stirring with hope, that realistic part of me pushing it right back down.

"Spencer?" I ask in surprise, tilting my head, puzzled. Why would he have a problem with him? Spencer gets along with everyone. Rick clenches his jaw and nods.

"I don't- trust him. There's something off about him and you are clearly blind to it," Rick points out, his voice laced with irritation, nostrils flared, taking me aback.

"What? Rick, you're being paranoid," I dismiss, shaking my head and shifting on my feet.

"There's something off about him. I wasn't here to approve-"

I let out a scoff of incredulity, making him stop. "Approve? Rick- it's not up to you, we are part of an entire community of people who can choose who we let in. He came to us begging for help after his group was attacked!"

"Right. And he's the only one who survived. The one who can't shoot a gun for shit," Rick snaps sarcastically, making me shake my head in disbelief, anger bubbling up at me. 

"Just because he isn't police-trained like you-"

"You're not police trained and last time I checked? You're a hundred times more capable than that idiot."

"If he's such an idiot, why don't you trust him?"

"I don't trust that he was on his own like that!"

"I was on my own!" I cry out, my voice cracking, making surprise flinch across his expression. My heart pounds in my chest, remembering the hopelessness I felt before I found my family. Wandering around aimlessly every day- just praying for a way to find people. To no longer be so alone.

"So were you! Do you think Glenn should have taken time to asses your character because you happened to be by yourself?" I question Rick angrily, tilting my head to the side, my eyes searching his expression.

"No. He helped you because you needed it. Spencer survived, despite not being great at shooting or fighting- and he's still here. Maybe that makes him lucky, or maybe that's just how things work out. Him being alone doesn't mean we can't trust him, it means he had to watch his people die in front of him, and yet he's still standing." I point out, my anger dissipating and my heart hurting for him. I couldn't imagine that. Knowing all my friends were gone and having to try to keep going. I don't think I could do it.

Rick averts his gaze, his expression hard.

I sigh, looking down. "I get it. You don't trust him. He's not one of us yet. But have you given him the chance? Have you even had a conversation with him?" I challenge Rick, who slowly meets my gaze.

He tilts his head to the side, his hand resting on his belt. "No, I haven't" He admits, his voice taught. I nod.

"Exactly," I state, feeling protective of the first boyfriend I've had in a long time. One who doesn't hurt me like Phillip did. A sweet and caring boyfriend.  "He's treating me right, I promise. He's not like Phillip," I assure Rick, who meets my gaze, his eyebrows pulling together as he looks down at me, his expression softening slightly.

"Please. Just give him a chance. Like you did on me. Like Glenn did on you." I insist, my eyebrows knit together with hope. Rick is quiet for a moment before he slowly and reluctantly nods. I smile widely.

"Thank you. Now, let's get out of this overgrown dump so you can make friends with your new buddy," I joke playfully, poking his shoulder as he looks at me with begrudging amusement.

"Yeah, alright," He agrees dryly as he grabs his backpack and follows me, a hopeful grin pulling across my expression as I face forward.

Once outside, the two of us jog towards the gate, only to be met with a heart-dropping hoard of walkers meandering through the front of the nursery, completely blocking our exit. We skid to a stop, Rick holding his arm out to stop me.

It's too late. The walkers closest to us notice, alarming the rest of the pack with their groans as they shuffle toward us, running into plants and tables as they move. One closer to us gets its skin ripped off as it drags along the cactus beside it, making me cringe.

"Shit" Rick curses, grabbing my arm and dragging me in the opposite direction. I spare one longing glance at our car, now surrounded by the horrifyingly large herd, before following Rick to the other side of the nursery.

He tosses his backpack over the tall fence, doing the same with mine once I hand it to him. He squats down, offering his intertwined hands for me to help jump up.

Without having a minute to second-guess this, thanks to the massive crowd of undead freaks making their way toward us, I push off his hand with my left foot. He throws my foot up, and with the force, I swing my right leg over the fence. As soon as I'm off his hands, Rick is climbing dexterity up and quickly swings over. I mimic the way he casually swings his leg around and drops to the ground.

Pain stings through my feet as I drop down to the ground and I take a second to breathe, watching as Rick grabs our bags, adrenaline prickling in my veins. I flinch when I hear all the walkers thrashing against the fence behind me. Absentmindedly, I wipe the inner part of my left thigh, annoyed by the tickling sensation. Probably another fucking mosquito. There were about a hundred in that humid storage room.

My heart stops when I look down to inspect the bite. On the skin of my upper thigh, is a three-inch long and seemingly impossibly deep laceration with blood freely pouring out. My eyes find the top of the horrifyingly rusted fence and the unmistakable blood glinting at the top.

Fuck.

"Alright, here's-" Rick stops in his tracks when he sees me and the blood pouring down my leg as I gape back at him in shock. His eyes widen and in a second, he's kneeling at my feet, his hands clasped tightly around the cut on my thigh.

I can only blink rapidly in shock as he starts talking to me, my chest heaving with terror. Everything is starting to get faded out in my hearing and lightheadedness is starting to take over, my vision tilting.

"Cass!" Rick shouts, and my head snaps down to look at him, my heart pounding loudly in my ears. "We need to get out of here before they break down the fucking fence!" Rick presses urgently, those blue eyes desperately imploring mine. I glance back at the fence shaking unsteadily behind me, the large crowd of walkers pushing against it aggressively, clearly drawn to the smell of my blood.

It abruptly snaps me back to reality and I nod rapidly, all the things I need to do flying through my mind. "Tourniquet-" I stammer and Rick nods.

"Here switch off. Remember, a lot of pressure," Rick tells me clearly and I do as he says, letting out a shaking breath. He removes his hand from my cut and I clamp mine down, hard.

"Wait- cleaning-" I stumble over my words- my mind going a million miles a minute. Rick nods, his bloody hands trembling as he rushes through his backpack, retrieving his water bottle.

He then pulls off his t-shirt, ripping it in half, and tying it tightly around the base of my leg. He then pours water from his bottle over my cut, making me hiss in pain. "Sorry," He mumbles through a grimace, grabbing the other half of his shirt and wrapping it securely around the wound.

The fence crashes down behind us, and seemingly in a second, I'm in Rick's arms as he runs away from the nursery and into the forest. I grip his bare shoulders tightly, trying my hardest to not make him carry my whole weight while he's still carrying our backpacks.

A while later once we have outrun the walkers, Rick gently puts me down, panting. I stumble back, watching him, my chest heaving, finally shaken out of my shock. I've never really been okay when it comes to my own blood. Ironic for a surgeon, I know.

"Thank you," I pant through my labored breathing. Rick nods, checking over his shoulder. He looks back at me, his eyes moving down to my thigh, full of worry. "Are you okay?" He asks me, his concerned gaze meeting mine.

I nod with a slight smile. "Y-yeah most of the pain is being subdued by the adrenaline," I joke, but Rick doesn't laugh.

"That fence was rusty- are you going to be alright?" Rick asks, his intense and still concerned eyes taking me in. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have people that care so much about me. "Yeah, we got it cleaned out and after some antibiotics and stitches, I should be fine," I say, dismissively waving a hand.

Rick looks over me for a moment before deciding to believe me, nodding slightly. He glances over his shoulder before back at me. "Good to walk?" He checks, and I hum in agreement, glancing out into the forest.

"Yeah. I appreciate your help back there but I'm perfectly capable of- f-fuck!" I curse loudly the moment I try to put weight on my leg. The second I pressed my foot down, intense pain shot up my entire leg, taking aback by the severity.

I cringe, glancing up at Rick, who is glaring back at me, not looking amused.

Half an hour later, we're still making our way back to the prison. I'm in Rick's arms, bridle style, my body pressed up against his bare chest. My arms are looped around his neck, his hands supporting me around my waist and the back of my legs. A year and a half ago I would have been losing my mind at our proximity. Hell, me a couple of weeks ago would.

But I'm in a new place now.

I'm definitely not affected by our bare skin touching like this. Or that the first time I'm feeling the warm skin of his toned chest is with my whole body pushed up against it. With only shorts and a tank top on, it's a lot of my skin touching his. I also definitely don't notice how intense his smell is being this close. Definitely not noticing that. Because I have Spencer.

Spencer.

Rick is staring forward as we silently trudge through the humid Georgia forest. I try my hardest to stay calm but I feel like an idiot having to be carried like this. It's embarrassing.

Poor Rick too. having to haul my entire body weight and our two bags. I worry my bottom lip, glancing back at him. He sighs, not looking at me as he begins to talk.

"Are you just going to keep staring at me or say something?" He grunts, readjusting his grip around the back of my thighs which certainly doesn't send sparks fluttering through my nerves, shooting straight between my legs.

I clear my throat, forcing that sensation down. "I just feel bad making you carry all our stuff and me, it's not fair. Do you need a break? We can sit down by that tree-"

"I'm fine."

"Rick- I'm well over a hundred pounds and those backpacks together have to be at least fifty-"

"Cass. I'm alright."

I huff in irritation at his stubbornness.

"Fine," I submit, allowing him to keep holding me. Glancing around the forest we're cutting through, I wonder how long it will take to walk back to the prison. Yeah, we're able to cut right through and ignore roads, but it took us thirty minutes to drive, and it might take much longer to walk, despite the shortcut. I cringe slightly, feeling guilty. My damn clumsiness at it again, risking my life and now Rick's. I honestly don't know how I've made it this far.

While readjusting my hands around his neck, I flinch when I feel his heartbeat hammering aggressively in his vein. I gasp in horror, my eyes wide with disbelief.

"Rick! Your heart rate is insane! Put me down, you're clearly over-exerting yourself!" I insist, batting my hands against him to get him to put me down. Rick sighs, tilting his head back in annoyance before carefully letting my thrashing body down.

I stumble, and Rick steadies me, his hands on my shoulders. I purse my lips and he lets go, watching me expectantly.

"Okay enough with the helping me, superman. We need to get back," I order, yanking my backpack from his grasp and limping lamely through the forest. I hear a sigh behind me before Rick catches up with me, leaves crashing under his feet.

Swallowing thickly as I shuffle through the underbrush, Rick by my side, a grimace pulls across my face. Ever since the adrenaline has worn off, the pain has been steadily increasing, and walking like this is not helping. I cringe for a moment and pause, pushing past the headache suddenly pounding against my skull.

"Cass. I'm ...recovered. Let me help you. You look like you're on the brink of collapse," Rick urgers with concern, turning his head to look at me. I shake my head stubbornly, trying to push any sign of discomfort off my face, refusing to look at him.

I blink past a couple of stars in my vision and push forward, despite the suddenly excruciating pain. I cover my shuddering gasp, swallowing it back.

"Cass!" Rick shouts, standing in my way and physically stopping me, those blue eyes wild.

"What?" I demand sharply, staring up at him defiantly. "Rick- I'm sick of being the pathetic damsel who needs you to help her! I'm a grown woman, I don't need you to carry me to safety-  Fuck this is really starting to hurt-" I pant harshly, bending over to catch my suddenly struggling breath.

"You're bleeding out! God dammit Cass, would you just-" He stops himself before grabbing me roughly, hoisting me up and back into his arms. My backpack falls to the ground but he stalks away regardless, determination written across his face.

I just stare at him in bewilderment, before I start to feel the warm blood on my thigh. Looking down at my leg, my heart sinks at the sight. I'm bleeding through the tourniquet and gauze. That's not good.

"The backpack," I croak, leaning my head back to look at it sitting sadly on the forest floor behind us, but Rick just shakes his head, continuing.

"Doesn't matter. I need to get you back, now," Rick snarls, his eyes trained ahead, his eyebrows pulled together in determination.

He readjusts his grip, one hand tightly gripping on my left thigh, pushing hard against the gash to stop the bleeding. He shakes his head to himself. "I shouldn't have let you be so fucking stubborn and try to walk-" He starts, anger flaring at his nostrils.

"You were clearly carrying too much weight, your heart was racing like crazy," I slur, trying to ignore how drunk I sound and focus on keeping Rick in my abruptly blurry vision.

He glances down at me between my heavy blinks. "That's not why my heart was racing," he dismisses after a pause, looking forward again.

I frown. "That doesn't make sense," I mutter quietly, my lead eyelids pulling themselves closed, feeling my body relax.

"Open the goddamn gate!" Rick bellows and I jolt out of sleep I hadn't realized I fell into.

The clanking of the gate opening and the muffled voices around us screaming for help fills my ears. I just stare up at Rick as he shouts muted orders at the people around, continuing to carry me. I can see the darkening sky behind him as we move through the front yard. Huh, it's almost nighttime.

We're inside now, rushing through one of the cell blocks. I hear a couple of familiar voices around me as I blink up at Rick, still carrying me. His eyes are pretty. I wonder if he knows that.

Those pretty eyes flit down to mine in surprise.

"Jesus. She's really lost a lot of blood," I hear a muffled voice grunt in surprise before I fall asleep again, the last thing in my thoughts being the blue of Rick's irises.

___

Distant clanking and voices stir me from my sleep. Despite living here for months, the sounds of the prison still wake me. Blinking past the heaviness of my eyelids, confusion starts to set in as I take in my surroundings. I'm in a cell, but not mine. It's completely bare apart from the bed I'm in and the empty one on the other side of the room.

I realize with a start that it's one of our hospital cells. One we save to put really hurt people in. Looking around, I spot the IV in my arm, the bag hung up on the wall beside me. As I try to sit up I gasp at the sudden and excruciating pain in my left leg.

It feels like a hot iron is being shoved into the flesh of my thigh repeatedly and some horrible person is twisting it, magnifying the pain.

Throwing back the colorful quilt laid on top of me, I find a large white bandage wrapped fully around my left thigh.

What the fuck...?

"Dr. Adams! You're awake!" Bob calls from the doorway, making me flinch. I look up at him in alarm, blinking.

"Yeah... What happened?" I ask, my heart hammering in my chest, feeling extremely disoriented. "D'you not remember?" He asks curiously, coming in and sitting down on the bed across from me.

I shake my head, shifting slightly to face him, grimacing in discomfort.

"You were on a run with Rick to get some farming supplies yesterday and you cut your leg pretty bad on a fence. But luckily Rick got you back in time and me and Herschel fixed you up," Bob explains with a cheery smile, and I blink rapidly, trying my hardest to remember. Bits of it come flashing back through my memory.

The nursery, our argument about Spencer, running away from a herd, and yeah... cutting my leg. I cringe slightly, remembering the rusty wire and my blood pouring down my leg.

"Wait- what do you mean, got me back? Was I unconscious?" I ask with confusion, sudden embarrassment creeping up on me. Please tell me I wasn't-

"Yeah, Rick had to carry you for about seven miles before he got back. He had good timing though, if he hadn't gotten you back when he did, you could have bled out." Bob informs me, making my heart tighten in my chest.

Rick- did all of that, for me?

Bob continues to explain what exactly he and Herschel had to do to fix my deep cut and that Spencer donated some of his blood to help. I smile to myself at the new information I'm learning about him. He's O-negative, a universal donor. Good to know.

As if on cue, Spencer's voice calls out my name from the entrance of the cell, making me look over at him in surprise. "Hey," I breathe, a smile spreading across my face as he comes over to plant a kiss on my cheek, making warmth spread across my skin.

"I'll leave you two be," Bob says with a grin, and I smile at him in thanks as he leaves. "Thanks again!" I call out for extra measure as he exits, which he dismisses with a wave.

"How are you feeling?" Spencer asks me, his eyes searching my face. I realize in this light his eyes actually aren't brown, but hazel.

"Not too bad, Bob gave me some pain meds, so that's really helping," I inform him and he sighs, relief evident on his features. "He told me that you donated your blood for me?" I ask Spencer, who nods, a bashful smile on his face.

"Yeah- well, you were in the middle of surgery and Herschel was worried about you bleeding out and they didn't know your blood type-"

"-A positive" I cut in, making Spencer stop and turn to me.

"What?" he questions, and I crack a smile. "That's my blood type," I clarify, making realization flash across his face.

"Oh, well, good to know," Spencer grins. "Anyway, a lot of your friends offered to donate, but not knowing who would be a match, I was the best choice since I'm the only O neg. I got sick a lot as a kid, so it's something I know well," Spencer explains, reaching out to hold my hand, running his thumb in a circle on my palm absentmindedly.

"Spence... Thank you. You probably saved my life," I tell him with a wide smile, but he shakes his head sheepishly.

"I'm just glad you're alright. If it wasn't for Rick getting you back in time, I wouldn't have the chance," Spencer tells me earnestly and I nod, looking down. I need to find Rick. Thank him for what he did.

Spencer checks his watch, grimacing slightly. "Ah- I'm so sorry but I need to go. I have a watchtower shift and I've already been late a few times and I think they're starting to hate me," Spencer says with a breathy laugh and I smile widely. He's so bad with time management, it's kind of adorable.

"Go! I'll be fine," I assure him with a smile. He grins, before kissing me gently, his hand caressing my cheek.

"Alright, I'll come back once my shift is done," Spencer informs me, and I nod with amusement as he turns to leave, sending me one last smile.

As the hours pass, I slowly get myself out of bed and used to walking. As long as I'm careful, I won't rip the sutures. I just can't be stuck here. I can't waste away in a hospital cell, not when I have patients to attend to and a special someone to thank for saving my life.

It's many hours later when I limp down the gravel path to the farm to find Rick. He's feeding the pigs alone, talking softly to them as he tosses the mulch into their troughs. Their loud squealing disguises my footsteps so he doesn't notice me when I come up to him.

"Hey," I call out, leaning against the fence of the pen for support.

Rick flinches slightly, his head snapping up to see me. His eyes widen and he rushes over to me, almost stepping on one of the piglets as he does, making a fond smile spread across my face.

"What are doing??" He questions wildly, his eyes searching me up and down. I smile. "I'm fine! I just needed to see you," I tell him, making him falter.

My gaze softens, fondness for him flowering in my chest. He literally saved my life. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for him. To have to carry my unconscious and bleeding body back here, alone. And it's all because he genuinely cares about me that much. Thanks to finding Sophia all that time ago, I'm part of his group. His family. I will never be more grateful for that.

I realize suddenly as I smile back at his concerned expression that I don't think I'll ever be able to love someone the way I love him.

I push that unsettling thought down quickly.

"Thank you. For what you did. They told me that you carried me for seven miles. You saved my life, Rick. I can never thank you enough for that," I express my gratitude to him genuinely, my love for him overflowing in my chest.

His eyebrows knit together and he looks down. "You don't need to thank me, Cass. You're family. I would never hesitate to help you. I know you would do the same for me. You did the same for me," He says with a slight smile, holding up his bandaged hand, making me grin.

"Touché." I respond, my smile taking over my face as we pause for a moment, just looking at each other. His expression twitches. "Wait- you said they told you about what happened... do you not remember?" He asks, his eyebrows drawn together.

"I remember some- running away from the herd and getting hurt, but it's blank after that," I explain and he nods, looking down. "I still remember our conversation about Spencer so don't think you're off the hook," I inform Rick, making him crack a smile, making his cheek dimple slightly on one side.

His gaze meets mine again, and it happens once again. Me and him, staring at each other. It doesn't feel uncomfortable though, like with others when there's an awkward pause, not knowing how to fill the lulls in conversation.

That never happens with him.

Rick clears his throat, averting his gaze. I look down, guilt flinching through me. I probably shouldn't be longingly gazing at another man.

"I'm really happy you're okay. I was worried back there. I thought-" Rick stops himself, shaking his head before he looks back at me. "I'm glad you're okay." He says with finality, making my heart fill with happiness.

"It's all thanks to you," I respond, and he rolls his eyes, laughing as he pulls away from the fence separating us.

"Alright, there's no getting through to you," He responds with defeat, making me grin. "You know I'm far too stubborn for that. And to be fair, so are you," I point out. He's the last person to accept that he did something good.

Rick just smiles knowingly. "We both are then. It's settled," He decides, the edges of his eyes crinkling with amusement.

"We finally agree," I confirm with a nod, glancing behind me for a second. "Okay. I should get back, I'm actually not supposed to be out of bed. Have fun with your pigs," I respond quickly with a smile, before turning and walking back to the prison, only slightly limping.

"Wait, what?" Rick questions behind me, clearly alarmed that I'm out of bed. I just laugh as I walk away. 

As I discreetly limp back into my hospital cell, I stop in my tracks at the throat being cleared behind me. I gingerly turn around, a sheepish expression on my face when I spot Herschel watching me with crossed arms.

"Where have you been?" He questions me calmly, his eyebrows raised. I scratch the back of my neck, needing to look away from his piercing gaze. "Nowhere- just um went to thank Rick for what he did for me," I respond quietly, staring at the concrete floor.

Herschel sighs. "And how far was that?" He asks me, an embarrassed flush coloring my cheeks, knowing I've been caught. "Just to the farm and back," I mutter under my breath, not being able to meet his gaze.

"Cassandra," Herschel scolds sternly, making my wide eyes flit to his. "Get in that bed now," He orders, and I comply, honestly a bit scared by his commanding tone.

"Doctors really are the worst patients, d'you realize that?" He asks rhetorically, shaking his head. I nod, a guilty grin pulling at my face as I climb into the bed carefully.

"Do I need to lock you in or will you stay put?" Herschel questions me, making me suppress a laugh. "I'll stay put I promise," I assure him with wide eyes, making him nod, the edges of his eyes crinkling as he smiles.

"Good. Now rest," He orders, and I nod, watching as he leaves.

I laugh to myself slightly, feeling warmth spread throughout my chest. I know my family cares about me, but seeing the ways they express it is sweet.

An hour or two later, when I still can't seem to fall asleep, I look up at the sounds of footsteps. Daryl, Maggie, and Sasha appear, making a huge grin break out across my face.

The three of them come in with smiles on their faces. "Bob told us you're awake!" Maggie enthuses, sitting down on the bed, Sasha dropping down beside her.

"Yeah!" I respond, glancing over at Daryl leaning against the doorframe, watching me with concerned eyes. "How are you feeling?" Maggie asks, and I turn back to her expectant expression.

"Can't complain- the pain is getting a lot better," I tell her, making her nod with relief.

"How are the kids doing? Carl, Sophia, Judith?" I ask the three of them, searching their expressions. "They're doing just fine. We thought it might be best to make sure you're okay before they visit you," Sasha explains, and I nod.

"Yeah, that's the right call," I agree. I would hate for Sophia or Carl to see me if I was in bad shape. They've seen enough horrible sights for a lifetime. 

"Here." Daryl says abruptly, stepping forward to hand me something. It's a bracelet, braided from what looks like shoelaces, twine, and yarn. A huge smile pulls across my face as he drops it in my hand, happiness and love flowering in my chest.

"Beth and Sophia wanted to make you something," Daryl explains roughly as I eagerly put it on, securing it tightly.

"You helped them make it though, right?" Maggie questions, a glint in her eye that reminds me of her father, making Daryl look at her with an unamused expression.

"It was for the kids," He grunts, sniffing and not making eye contact. Contentment bubbles up in my chest and I nod to myself. "Thank you. I love it," I grin, knowing that he definitely did help them. He nods.

"I'll tell 'em you like it," He replies gruffly.

"I hope I'm not late for the party?" Someone asks, making my head snap up. Mischonne walks over from around the corner, a smile on her face.

I let out a gasp, attempting to get up to hug her. She rushes forward to stop me. "Oh my god! You're finally back!" I enthuse, throwing my arms around her for a tight hug after not seeing my good friend for far too long. She chuckles, hugging me back as she bends over the bed.

"Yeah, while you were asleep," She confirms and I pull back, incredibly happy to see my friend once again.

I gulp, remembering why she was gone. "Any luck?" I ask lowly. Her smile fades from her face and she shakes her head.

I don't know if I should be relieved or terrified.

Sitting back on my bed, I run a hand through my hair. "Visiting hours are over, y'all know that," Herschel says from the doorway.

"Daddy-" Maggie starts but Herschel shakes his head. "No. All of ya, come on. She needs to rest. She's already been a nuisance today," Herschel insists, making them let out a collective sigh.

I say my goodbyes to them, smiling as they reluctantly leave. Mischonne grabs my hand before she leaves, as the rest of them disappear around the corner, a mischievous look on her face. "We're going to talk about your new boyfriend tomorrow," She informs me smugly, making a blush color my cheeks, and I nod with a sheepish smile.

Once they leave, Herschel giving me an exasperated look as he walks past, I lay down fully, trying to get comfortable. As I settle down, feeling sleep urging my body to give in, my fingers graze across the blue, pink, and green bracelet on my wrist, fondness flowering in my chest.

-Rick's POV-
a day later

Throwing my towel over my shoulder, I head down toward the showers. After the past couple of days, I need it.

After pumping the water jug to turn on the plumbing and undressing, I step underneath the shower stream, letting out a long breath of relaxation. The lukewarm water streams down my body, draining underneath me. Scrubbing my limbs, I take satisfaction in the dirt and blood washing off with the soap and running down the drain. Luckily the bathroom is quiet. Not many people take late-night showers like me.

Closing my eyes, I reflect on the day. I'm so fucking relieved Cass is okay- Herschel officially discharged her today. She terrified me that day, disturbingly reminding me of when Carl got shot.

I'll never forget the worry that consumed me as I ran back to the prison as fast as I could, her body limp in my arms. Or the sickening feeling of her blood leaking through my fingers as I desperately pressed tightly against the wound on her thigh.

Something in my abdomen jolts remembering the feeling of my hand pressed against the soft skin of her upper thigh.

I couldn't even think about it before when I wasn't sure if she would be okay. Getting her help was all I cared about. Nothing else mattered at that moment. Not the overwhelming exhaustion as I finally made it to the prison. Not the panic engulfing me as they took her away to surgery. Not the frustration of not being able to do more- being unable to donate my blood to help her. All that mattered was her being okay. Getting her safe.

But now, knowing she's completely fine, I can't get the sensation out of my mind.

Swallowing thickly with dread, I feel the blood rushing south just thinking about it. Imagining the same sensation, in an entirely different scenario. One where she is 100% conscious and nowhere near harm or pain.

Letting out a slow and treacherous breath, my eyes flutter closed, remembering the silky soft skin of Cass's upper thigh, so close to her. It would feel the same as me grasping her skin, not to stop the bleeding, but to anchor myself onto her as I taste her, making her squirm with pleasure underneath me.

Even now, I can still picture her the day in the library a lifetime ago when she dropped her blanket and I picked it up for her. On my knees, looking up at her underwear-clad body. God, she's so incredibly beautiful.

The simple and lust-filled caveman part of me wins over my honorable side, and I just can't resist it anymore. I haven't let myself physically cross that boundary yet, out of respect for her.

But this lust, this desire, this raw and intense hunger for her that has been building up inside me steadily, is quickly reaching a tipping point and I simply can't ignore it anymore.

I let out a sigh of relief as I give in to my extreme desire for that irresistible woman, my hand finally stroking my excruciatingly hard length. This time, I don't block the consistent stream of thoughts of Cass consuming my mind. I could barely contain myself on the run the other day before she got hurt- having to endure her lounging beside me in the passenger side, showing off her bare legs in those tiny fucking shorts and her tank top scooping at the perfect spot to accentuate her distracting cleavage, her smell wafting over me throughout the seemingly endless drive. The only thing that kept me from completely losing my mind was gripping onto the steering wheel as tight as I could, forcing my gaze to stay on the road.

I want her in a passionate, primal way. I want to love her, please her, protect her.

I need her.

So

Fucking

Bad.

She's just- incredible. If given the opportunity, I would cherish her. I would ensure that she would feel more satisfaction than any man has endeavored before. Something deep in me just knows our sex would be amazing. Better than anything she and Spencer could have. I shake my head in aggravation, focusing back on Cass and not her frustratingly idiotic boyfriend.

As my hand steadily pumps my dick, sending surges of pleasure through the nerves of my abdomen, I picture her beautiful dark copper hair splayed on her pillow as I fuck her into oblivion. Her perfect face scrunched up in pleasure the same way it scrunches when she's focusing on her work. Her mouth would be open mid-moan, frozen in unbelievable pleasure. My heart is hammering aggressively in my chest envisioning her, so intense I think it might just give out.

It all comes together in my mind. I would grab Cass under her soft, supple thighs, hoisting them around my waist, and pressing her against the wall of the shower. I would kiss her hungrily, taking that sweet mouth in mine, devouring her. Taking my time as our lips finally touch, one of my hands softly stroking her cheek, overwhelming happiness bubbling up in my chest at the intimacy.

My pace speeds up with desperation envisioning my hands gently traveling across her exposed body, caressing every inch of her silky skin. Every curve and crevice, grazed by my touch. My fingers would dance across her torso, from the top of her breasts, past the slight bumps of her ribcage, following the way her waist curves inward in the middle, then caressing my way down to rest on that perfectly-shaped ass of hers. To tease her, my kisses would trail down her neck, tasting, sucking, and bruising her skin to my heart's content. Because in this scenario, she's all mine. Mine to taste, to feel, to mark, to pleasure.

My mouth would find those round, tantalizing breasts, pressing kisses across the sensitive skin, earning delicious sounds from her extremely kissable lips. I've never seen her breasts but have a strong inclination that they're simply perfect, just like her. Her lilted moans would fill my ears, begging for more. And I would eagerly give it to her.

I would get on my knees, as she looks down at me with hooded eyes, the shower stream creating rivets down her gorgeous naked body. My hands would roam up and down her long lovely legs, taking my time to enjoy touching her as she trembles beneath my fingers. I would gaze up at her sweet, wet, cunt, so pink and flushed- just for me.

Then I would taste her. Lick her slowly and deliberately, while one hand circles her sensitive rosebud clit. Intense satisfaction shoots through me at the idea of having the privilege to taste her. Being able to nestle my head between her legs, relishing every second my tongue explores her eager center.

She would writhe under me, begging to feel me in a breathless, lilted tone, desperate for me. Me.

Following her orders gladly, I would stop, capturing that perfect mouth in mine again as I stand up. Her hands would rake through my hair, entangling in my curls as we kiss. I would grab her thighs, wrapping her legs around my hips once again. Where they belong.

I know now exactly what it feels like to hold her, to pick up her body weight with ease. Imagining that, with my fingers digging into her warm and bare flesh, holding her close to my body, in order to fuck her, sends a jolt of enthusiastic arousal through me.

After making sure she's ready, I would slowly enter her tight wet heat, causing moans of pleasure to fall out of both of our mouths. I can imagine the way she would feel around me, making me suppress a groan, my hand not faltering as it flies up and down my length. Giving her time to adjust to my size, I would gently pull out and thrust back in, causing her to throw her head back in pleasure. My hands would roam the expanse of her back, holding her securely to me as we fuck. My hips would rhythmically drive into hers, feeling complete being inside her, filling her up.

The pressure building in my abdomen grows exponentially at these vivid imaginings and I suck in a harsh breath at the intoxicating feeling. Abruptly Cass's melodic voice fills my mind. Specifically, the way she says my name. All the different ways she's said it flutter through my mind. I imagine her saying it, her voice breathless, lilted, desperate, begging-

I'm coming before I know it, stars exploding behind my eyes, my body shuddering with intense release and overwhelming pleasure as I let go. Needing to press my hand onto the tiled wall of the shower for support, I hang my head and muffle a deep groan, wishing I was finishing inside her warmth instead of my hand, panting slightly. My skin is buzzing, limbs tingling at the incredible relief and satisfaction coursing through my veins.

Jesus. I haven't come that hard since... ever actually. That's what I get for bottling this all up for so long, refusing to let myself think about her like that, while touching myself like that. I let out a long breath, knowing I'm absolutely fucked because of how good that felt... knowing it will just make this persistent attraction so much worse. I allowed my fantasies to push past a boundary, one I'm afraid I won't be able to come back from.

After I clean myself off, I quickly shut off the water, guilt creeping up on me, knowing that I used it longer than usual. That guilt isn't solely from that of course, the majority of the twisting feeling in my gut resulting from my recent activities.

I feel horrible that I let myself think about her and pleasure myself without her knowing. But I couldn't control myself. She's just... so fucking irresistible. It's making me slowly but surely lose my sanity. Turning me into a pathetic loser who can't please the woman he wants- instead having to imagine it with my hand wrapped around my cock because another man got to her first.

I sigh in defeat. I'm utterly fucked.

As I grab my towel, wrapping it loosely around my waist, I step past the shower curtain. Pulling it closed behind me, I look up and am immediately met with those gorgeous green eyes of hers, looking right back up at me. I blink at her in shock, trying to figure out if she's really there or if I'm hallucinating after the intense fantasies that were corrupting my mind just minutes ago. I falter, my heartbeat, which had just calmed down, leaping once again. She stands in front of me with a smile, a towel hung across her arm. Definitely real.

Out of all the people to run into.

God. If she knew what I was thinking, what I was doing-

"Hey! You take night showers too huh?" Cass greets me with that beautiful and contagious smile, and I can't help but smile nervously back, hoping my face isn't as burning red as it feels.

My entire body feels like it's on fire and I'm suddenly painfully aware of how exposed I am, with my towel hung low around my hips. It's nothing she hasn't seen before, but after the treacherous images that were just floating around in my mind, it feels... different. Not to mention the fact that the only thing separating me from being completely naked in front of her is the thin fabric of my towel.

"Yeah, I- uh like going to bed clean," I respond as normally as I can manage, looking down as I securely tuck the towel on my hip to keep it in place. What a weird thing to say. You sound like a fucking idiot.

I glance back up to see Cass's eyes darting quickly away from my body.

She wasn't just... checking me out, was she?

I shake my head slightly, dismissing away the ridiculous thought. Clearly leftover fantasies muddling my common sense. Because as my common sense likes to constantly remind me- she has a boyfriend. One that I really have no reason to distrust, as she rightfully pointed out. That doesn't exactly make it any easier- quite the opposite. 

"Okay well, I'm going to jump in the shower now. Goodnight Rick," Cass breathes with a smile, hanging her towel on the rack of another shower stall. I nod in her direction, pushing away the image of her showering to the back of my mind and very purposefully not hearing the way she says my name after remembering that's exactly what pushed me over the edge.

God, stop.

"Right, yeah. Goodnight Cass," I reply as casually as I can muster, walking away, guilt gripping my gut.

If only she knew the effect she has on me.

Maybe it would make her show mercy on me. If it made it easier to fight this intense attraction to her, I would be okay with it.

Bitterness and regret courses through me as I pull on my clothes in the adjoining room. I'll never get over the disappointment of coming back from my run to find out she was with that moron. If only I had realized sooner. Had a chance to make her fall for me instead.

One thing makes me feel better as I walk away back to my cell, remembering what she said to me a few days ago.

She thinks my eyes are pretty.