(act two)

𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘔𝘰𝘰𝘯

....

"He's not hideous."

"What?"

"Kit. He's really quite good-looking, not hideous at all."

"I spoke of the pitch-black inner depths of his soul."

"And what color do you suppose the inner depths of your soul are, Edward Cullen?"

"Mauve."

"I know he's an idiot. But can you maybe not kill him?"

"He exposed himself."

"You flashed people? Edward, I thought I told you to keep your clothes on at all times!"

"I didn't take off my pants!"

"He was about to."

"I'm going home."