𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘚𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘌𝘌𝘕

(the cursed witch, act two)

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Nina asked Edward, leaning against his side on their bed in his room.

"Hmm?"

His fingers trailed up and down the skin of her arm. It was a little past 7am and Nina had woken up only an hour or so before.

She had started living in the Cullen house not long after they moved back into town. Esme had offered, or more so insisted, after seeing Nina talking with a real estate agent about selling her home.

It had been two weeks since then.

"What did you do while you were away? Alice said you were in South America for a bit."

"It's not all that interesting," He shook his head. "I didn't have girls lining up for me like you had thought."

"Alice told you about that?" Nina grimaced.

"She didn't have to. Her mind is very open." She gave him a look that made him sigh. "I was... hunting."

"Really?" Nina asked him, rolling her eyes. "You do that every day."

He hesitated, and then spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. "I wasn't hunting for food... I was actually trying my hand at... tracking. I'm not very good at it."

"What were you tracking?" Nina asked, intrigued.

"Nothing of consequence." His words didn't match his expression; he looked upset, uncomfortable.

"I don't understand."

He hesitated; his face, shining with an odd green cast from the light of the clock, was torn.

"I—" He took a deep breath. "I owe you an apology. No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know,"—the words began to flow so fast, the way she remembered he spoke sometimes when he was agitated, though now she noticed she didn't have to try so hard to catch them all—"that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. So safe. I had no idea that Victoria,"—his lips curled back when he said the name—"would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why now—she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him—that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there."

"Not that there's any excuse for what I left you to face. When Rose called me and told me what happened to you, what Alice saw herself,"—he shuddered and the gush of words halted for a short second. "Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse for—"

"Stop," Nina interrupted him. He stared at her with agonized eyes, and she tried to find the right words—the words that would free him from this imagined obligation that caused him so much pain.

They were very hard words to say. Nina didn't know if she could get them out without breaking down. But she had to try to do it right. She didn't want to be a source of guilt and anguish in his life. He should be happy, no matter what it cost her.

"Edward," She said. His name burned her throat a little on the way out. "This has to stop now. You can't think about things that way. You can't let this... this guilt... rule your life. You can't take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault, it's just part of how life is for me. So, if I trip in front of a bus or whatever it is next time, you have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame. You can't just go running off to Italy because you feel bad that you didn't save me. Even if I had been killed in the forest, that would have been nowhere near your fault."

"I know it's your... nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but you really can't let that make you go to such extremes. It's very irresponsible—think of Esme and Carlisle and—" She was on the edge of losing it. She stopped to take a deep breath, hoping to calm herself.

"Nina Florence Evans," He whispered, the strangest expression crossing his face. He almost looked mad. "Do you believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?"

Nina could feel the blank incomprehension on her face. "Didn't you?"

"Feel guilty? Intensely so. More than you can comprehend."

"Then... what are you saying? I don't understand."

"Nina, I went to the Volturi because I thought you were dead," He said, voice soft, eyes fierce. "Even if I'd had no hand in your death,"—he shuddered as he whispered the last word—"even if it wasn't my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been more careful—I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie. But, really, what was I supposed to think when Rosalie said Alice saw you lying on the ground in a forest with a broken spine?"

"The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again." His voice was so low Nina wasn't sure she heard it right.

"But I still don't understand," Nina said. "That's my whole point. So what?"

"Excuse me?"

"So what if I was dead?"

He stared at her dubiously for a long moment before answering. "Don't you remember anything I told you before?"

"I remember everything that you told me." Including the words that had negated all the rest. He brushed the tip of his cool finger against her lower lip.

"Nina, you seem to be under a misapprehension." He closed his eyes, shaking his head back and forth with half a smile on his beautiful face. It wasn't a happy smile. "I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Nina, I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

"You are so..." She fumbled for the right word. "Confusing." That worked.

He stared deep into her eyes with his sincere, earnest gaze. "I'm a good liar, Nina, I have to be."

Nina froze, her muscles locking down as if for impact. The fault line in her chest rippled; the pain of it took her breath away. He shook her shoulder, trying to loosen her rigid pose.

"Let me finish! I'm a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly." He winced. "That was... excruciating." She waited, still frozen. "When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbye—" Nina didn't allow herself to remember. She fought to keep herself in the present second only.

"You weren't going to let go," He whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you."

"A clean break," She whispered through unmoving lips.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible—that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry."

"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"

Nina didn't answer. She was too shocked to form a rational response.

"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you!"

She was still frozen. His words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible. He shook her shoulder again, not hard, but enough that her teeth rattled a little.

"Nina," He sighed. "Really, what were you thinking!"

A tear fell past her eye. Before she could wipe it away, he did it for her.

"I don't deserve your tears," He sighed. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me? I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."

Another tear fell, and he quickly wiped it away.

"You don't believe me, do you?" Edward whispered, his face paler than his usual pale—she could see that even in the dim morning light. "Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"

"Because why would you ever love me? I am nothing compared to you. I couldn't even do magic without hurting myself, so I relied so hard on your presence. You were right—I was changing you. I was making you human. And you aren't human and I shouldn't have forced you to feel that you had to act like you were something you aren't–"

"I was never acting. You didn't make me feel like I was pretending to be a human. You made me feel alive. I could have sworn every time I saw your face,"—his hand came up to her jaw—"that smile, even the way your hair blew in the wind, my heart started beating again. Every time you touch me, I feel shivers run up my spine just from the high your touch gives me. As cliche as it sounds, I have butterflies in my stomach every time you laugh at one of my stupidly unfunny jokes."

"For 92 years, I never smiled. You can ask anyone in this family and they will tell you that. Nothing made me happy. I would go to school during the day, talk to no one, and then come home and hide out in my room with music blasting loud enough that I couldn't hear them talk about how worried they were about me."

"The first day I met you, Emmett thought I was having a seizure because he didn't know my face could move that way. Rosalie was about to send me to a mental ward because she thought I was insane. Jasper was confused since he had never felt any emotion other than anger, hunger and boredom come from me. And Alice thought she had finally made me smile because she let me win a game of cards."

"It never made sense for you to love me," He turned her words against her. "You are this ray of sunshine in my world of darkness. You're like the feeling of being out in the cold for hours and then taking a sip of a warm drink and feeling it warm you from the inside out. Your mind is like a haven–whenever my siblings got on my nerves, I would search for your thoughts–even if you were simply thinking out math equations or stabbing Jessica, the sound of your thoughts just brought me so much peace."

"I will prove to you that I love you. Even if it takes all of eternity," He promised.

He caught her face securely between his iron hands, forcing her to meet his gaze. Her eyes met his, a clash of blue and gold.

"Is this okay?" He asked, leaning closer to her. "Just say the word and I'll let it go."

She stared into his eyes for a moment before she nodded slowly. "It's okay."

His lips were on hers before she could even think to lean in. The kiss wasn't nearly as careful as the others she remembered. It was filled with more passion than she ever thought could be possible.

His lips felt so familiar it hurt her heart. Heavy breaths fell against her skin as his muscles tensed beneath her wandering hands.

"I love you so much," He murmured, his lips moving away from hers, only to move back in to kiss along her jaw, letting her breath in the much needed air.

His lips trailed down her neck, sucking and biting the skin, leaving small red marks in their wake. Nina couldn't stop herself from sinking into his embrace as his hands held her waist under the thin fabric of her shirt.

She could feel his marble body against every line of hers. His lips slowly trailed back up her skin, nipping at the edge of her jaw before kissing along her cheek before they settled back on her lips.

His hands memorized her face, the same way hers were tracing his, and, in the brief seconds when his lips were free, he whispered her name.

When he heard her thoughts wander to the need of air, he pulled away, only to lay his ear against her heart. She lay there, dazed, waiting for her quick heart beats to slow and quiet.

"By the way," He said in a casual tone. "I'm not leaving you."

She didn't say anything, and he seemed to hear skepticism in her silence. He lifted his face to lock her gaze in his.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not without you," He added more seriously. "I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you—keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted... what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay—thank heaven for that! It seems you can't be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us."

"Don't promise me anything," Nina whispered. If she let herself hope, and it came to nothing... that would kill her. Where all those merciless vampires had not been able to finish her off, hope would do the job.

Anger glinted metallic in his black eyes. "You think I'm lying to you now?"

"No—not lying." She shook her head, trying to think it through coherently. To examine the hypothesis that he did love her, while staying objective, clinical, so she wouldn't fall into the trap of hoping. "You could mean it... now. But what about tomorrow, when you think about all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?"

He flinched.

Nina thought back over those last days of her life before he left her, tried to see them through the filter of what he was telling her now. From that perspective, imagining that he'd left her while loving her, left her for her, his brooding and cold silences took on a different meaning.

"It isn't as if you hadn't thought the first decision through, is it?" She guessed. "You'll end up doing what you think is right."

"I'm not as strong as you give me credit for," He said. "Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that."

Nina grimaced. "Be serious, please."

"Oh, I am," He insisted, glaring now. "I will get on my knees if I have to. Will you please try to hear what I'm telling you? Will you let me attempt to explain what you mean to me?" He waited, studying her face as he spoke to make sure she was really listening.

"Before you, Nina, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

She wanted to believe him. But this was her life without him that he was describing, not the other way around.

"Your eyes will adjust," She told him.

"That's just the problem—they can't."

"What about your distractions?"

He laughed without a trace of humor. "Just part of the lie, darling. There was no distraction from the... agony. My heart hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone—like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."

"That's funny," She muttered.

He arched one perfect eyebrow. "Funny?"

"I meant strange—I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." She filled her lungs, luxuriating in the sensation. "And my heart. That was definitely lost."

He closed his eyes and laid his ear over her heart again. Nina let her cheek press against his hair, felt the texture of it on her skin, smelled the delicious scent of him.

"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?" She asked, curious, and also needing to distract herself. She was terrified to let herself hope.

"No." He sighed. "That was never a distraction. It was an obligation."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn't going to let her get away with... Well, like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Brazil —and really she came here." He groaned. "I wasn't even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worst fears—"

"You were hunting Victoria?" Nina asked, shock flooding through her. "What if you found her? What if she killed you? You were alone–"

"Not well," Edward answered, studying her outraged expression with a confused look. "But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out for much longer."

"That is... completely out of the question. God, you've gone crazy. Even if you had Emmett and Jasper with you as help..." She sighed. "No more hunting vampires, okay? No more hunting anything that isn't Bambi's brother in law. Just be safe for me."

"It's too late for her. I might have let the other time slide, but not now, not after—"

She interrupted him again, trying to sound calm. "Didn't you just promise that you weren't going to leave?"

"That isn't exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?" He frowned. A snarl began to build low in his chest. "I will keep my promise, Nina. But Victoria"—the snarl became more pronounced—"is going to die. Soon."

"Let's not be hasty," Nina said, trying to hide her panic. "Maybe she's not coming back. Me killing Laurant and the pack showing up probably scared her off. There's really no reason to go looking for her. Besides, I've got bigger problems than Victoria."

Edward's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "It's true. The werewolves are a problem."

She smacked his shoulder gently and he grinned. "I'm a wolf too, you know?"

"Yes, but you're very beautiful. And you don't smell like a wet dog."

"What do I smell like then? Alice said I smelled different."

He smiled slightly, moving up slightly to bury his face in her neck, his nose nudging against the soft skin of her jugular. Nina breathed out in shock at how close he was to a spot that once made him stay five feet away from her.

"You smell the same as before... just dialed down by a hundred. You smell like the first snowfall and frozen rain. Though there is still that cinnamon scent mixed in." He pressed his nose closer to her skin and his lips ghosted along her collarbone.

"How long do we have?" She asked, trying to contain her smile as she felt his lips move on their own accord again, drifting along her skin, leaving kisses in their wake.

"Till what?" Edward asked breathlessly, his kisses trailing down her arm till they reached her palm before he made his way back up again.

"Till the Volturi comes looking to make sure we keep up our end of the deal," She added.

His kisses halted for a mere moment before he started again.

"We have plenty of time," He reassured her, kissing her other hand. "Time means something very different to them than it does to you, or even me. They count years the way you count days. I wouldn't be surprised if you were thirty before you crossed their minds again," He added lightly.

"I'll be..." Dead.

"I'm not letting that happen either," He shook his head, hearing her train of thought. "When the time is right, we'll have Peter turn you. You have so much more to do, Nina. So much more to live for. So much more to experience. I don't want to give you a time limit. Do you even want to be a vampire?"

She had never really thought about it. All she knew was that she wanted to be with him.

"It's either that or I die anyway. Even if I had the pleasure of living till thirty... Edward, I will always want to be with you and the only way I see that as possible is by being one of you."

"I fear you've grown soft for me, my darling Nina," He teased gently against the skin of her cheek.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, flipping them over so she was sat on top of his waist. Her hands trailed up his chest as he stared up at her with an impressed, yet shocked look.

Nina smirked as she leaned in close, her breath fanning against his ear as she whispered, "I fear you've grown hard for me, my sweet Edward."

Her laughter made him smile.

"You truly love getting on my nerves, don't you?"

"Oh relax," Nina giggled. "It was funny."

"Hilarious," He mused.

When his eyes didn't stray from her, she smirked. "Do you like what you see?"

"You know I always do."

She laughed quietly, shaking her head. "Are you trying to flirt with me?"

"That depends. Is it working?"

"Very much so," She sighed softly, leaning down to press her lips to the corner of his mouth. "I love you," She whispered against his pink skin.

His arms wrapped around her back as she moved to lie down once again, cuddling into his cold chest, her warm skin heating his.

"I love you more."

"How is she doing?" Esme asked quietly, standing perfectly still in the doorway to Edward's room. Her eyes were warm as she watched Edward hold the sleeping witch with an amount of care she had never seen.

"She's gotten very good at hiding how she's feeling," Edward admitted, not looking up. His fingers gently brushed through her hair. He liked how long it had gotten.

"I'm sure. Carlisle said that she was able to sell the house..." She looked pointedly at Edward. "Did you have any help in that?"

"There might have been an anonymous buyer that overpaid by a couple hundred thousand," He shrugged.

"That was very kind of you."

Edward shrugged again. "She'll want the place eventually, even if it's just for the memories."

"Is she planning on going back to school soon?"

"Soon," He nodded. "Maybe next week. She's considering getting the early credit the school offered her, though. I guess, during our time away, she devoted most of hers to her school work. Peter was telling me that she had enough credits to graduate back in December."

Esme was silent for a moment.

"You can ask," She heard him say.

Her gaze met his. "Were you being truthful? When you said you wouldn't leave?"

"I promise I won't leave this family again, Mom."

"Good," Esme smiled before she held her pointer finger up at him. "You better not leave that poor girl either. She deserves nothing but the best from you."

"I'll treat her like a queen," Edward promised. "Even when she tells me to fuck off and blames my actions on the fact that my frontal lobe never fully developed."

Esme grinned and a small laugh bubbled in her throat.

"I'll leave you to it. It seems we have woken the little witch."

Edward glanced down and saw her squirming slightly in her sleep. He smiled and nodded.

"Goodnight, Mom."

"Goodnight, Son."

As Esme left, closing the door behind her, Edward looked back down.

"I know you're awake," He murmured against her ear.

Nina grumbled and moved closer to him, holding the fabric of his shirt tightly in her fists. "No, I'm not."

"Ah," He hummed. "So you sleep with your eyes open now?"

"Mhm," She murmured in response, burying her face in his neck while her leg moved over his waist. She held onto him as though she were a koala.

He smiled slightly when her hold on him tightened with each second her mind woke. "I'm not going to disappear."

"If you do, I'll maul you to death and then set you on fire."

His laugh sounded like a melody more beautiful than any piano piece she had ever heard. If she could, she would bottle the sound.

"You're so cold," She smiled, adjusting herself so she was laid completely on top of him.

"Do you want another blanket–" He asked only for her to snuggle further into him.

"It's nice," She shook her head. "I'm always so hot now. You're like my own personal ice pack."

"So the only reason you're in bed with me is because I cool you down?"

"That's part of the reason."

Nina could feel his lips curve into a smile against her temple. "And what would the other reason be?"

"Partially... very possibly... because I like you, slightly."

"Slightly, huh?" He beamed. "Do you want to elaborate on that for me?"

"I would prefer not too–"

Before she could finish, she felt herself being flipped over. "For fucks sake. You gotta stop doing that," Nina grumbled as he situated himself between her legs. "I have an iron deficiency. I can't see shit right now."

"Did I make you black out with how attractive I am?" Edward teased.

"No, dumbass. You made all my blood and oxygen rush to my head. For someone with two medical degrees, you're pretty stupid."

"You're such a bully," He sighed, shaking his head in amusement. "Can you see me now?"

She nodded.

"Good," He murmured, leaning down to capture her lips in a chaste kiss. "I love you," He whispered against her lips.

"We still aren't dating," She reminded him, earning a groan.

"I know. We're just two people who are mated for life, that definitely are not dating, but kiss and sleep in the same bed. Right?"

Nina nodded. "For now."

Edward grinned nonetheless. He was just happy to be allowed to see her. Even if she didn't let him touch her, speak with her, he would be happy just to see her.