Dear English,

Do you know how complicated you were? You have so many rules that are super confusing and complex. You expected us to memorise and apply all of them straight away. What crap is that? Not all of us have a good memory, you know.

You were in our classroom, marking papers. You always liked to stay back after school and mark your worksheets in our classroom instead of the staff room as you liked the peace of the empty classroom. Well, guess what? Empty classrooms aren't always nice. Empty classrooms also mean that no one would be able to help you in time should anything happen. That's exactly what happened.

You didn't expect Sapphire and me to be there in the classroom that afternoon. It was almost four and you wanted some peace and quiet from the noisy staff room.

Sapphire and I were hiding on either side of the door, waiting for you to come. And when you entered the classroom, I whacked you on the back of the head with your water bottle that you had left behind earlier after your class. Sapphire then took the opportunity to tie you up.

We sat you down on the chair right in front of the whiteboard. In that moment, you looked like a student while we were the teachers. It was time for us to give you a taste of your own medicine.

We made you tell us all the English rules and categories and uses on the spot. We spent days making notes about it to refer to and you could barely recite half of them! What a hypocrite. How can you expect us to memorise when you can't?

You started crying, begging us to let you go and that you'll be nicer. Do you really expect us to believe that bullshit? Honestly, you can't even keep simple promises like passing us extra worksheets when we don't have enough. And you expect us to believe that you'll change for the better and stop treating us so horribly? Yeah right.

I'm not afraid to say that we killed you. We left a python with you and closed all the doors and windows so the snake couldn't escape. Where did we get the snake from? Well, Onyx stole one from the zoo and immediately brought it over. Quite easy if you have the right connections.

You were found within a few hours, dead with the snake curling around your body, preparing to devour you. I don't know whether it was fortunate or unfortunate that you were found before you could become the snake's next meal.

Anyways, we secretly buried the snake with you in the coffin. Have fun spending eternity with your killer!

With no regrets,
Amethyst