"Newt!" I call, leaning against the table as I study a map. "Come look at this."

Newt lifts his head and blond locks fall into his eyes. He shoves them aside and walks closer to me. "What is it luv?" My heart flutters when he calls me love and remind myself that it doesn't mean anything. It's just a saying.

I swallow. "Um, I was just noticing that when you stack the maps like this," I move one map over another, "some of the lines meet up. Maybe they make a picture?"

Newt runs his hand down his jaw as he studies my discovery. "You could be on to something here. What order do you think they go in? All the sections for a day? It could be each section for a week."

Newt and I start stacking maps and holding them up the light to see them better. Finally, the order I try works and the walls line up to form the letter 'F'. "Newt!" I exclaim in excitement.

"Addy!" Newt whoops. "You did it! This could be the key to solving the Maze!"

"C'mon!" I practically shout. "Let's keep going!"

I hear the groan of metal as the box comes up while we work. I would've been surprised if Newt hadn't warned me that it came up every week, with a Greenie every month. There seems to be much more commotion with it than I would've expected, but I'm too focused on the maps to pay much attention.

After a lot of trial and err, Newt and I finally manage to form more words until they begin to repeat themselves.

FLOAT
CATCH
BLEED
DEATH
STIFF
PUSH

"What does it mean?" I ask, standing back to admire our work.

"I'm not sure yet," Newt admits. "We've got to tell Alby!"

Alby had been released by the Med-Jacks a few nights before but he'd been incredibly irritable after the Changing. Newt dashed out the door and limped as quickly as he could to the Homestead, with me right behind him.

"Addy!" It's Chuck.

I turn and see him jogging over to me but in place of his normal grin, his pudgy face is pulled into a frown. I let Newt inform Alby and stop to talk with Chuck.

"What's wrong, bud?" I ask. Chuck is like a little brother to me, even though it's only been a week since I got here.

"Is it true?" He looks very disturbed, but I have no idea why.

"Yes!" I exclaim, assuming he somehow figured out a clue to escape the Maze. How, I have no idea, but I can't think of anything else he could be talking about.

Chuck's eyebrows furrow. "You're ok with this?"

"Of course!" I say, putting a hand on his back to comfort whatever worries he's got. "I'm excited! You should be too! This will be good for all of us! Don't worry!"

"If you say so," Chuck walks away, still looking utterly unhappy. I'm not sure why he's upset, but it saddens me to see him that way.

"Thomas?" Movement to my right catches my eye and I turn to see Minho and my brother running back in through the East Door. "What are you doing back so soon?"

"No hello for poor Minho?" Minho questions through pants but I ignore him and wait for Tommy to answer.

He holds up a finger as he tries to catch his breath. "I think we found an escape!"

I gasp. "You did? Me too! Well, not really, but we solved the maps!"

"You did?" Minho purses his lips in skepticism but I have a suspicion it's also a bit of jealousy for stealing his win. "We've been trying to figure those out for two years and you're telling me you solved it in two days?"

I flip my hair behind my head. "Women are scientifically proven to be smarter than men."

"You don't know that!" Both boys look appalled and incredibly offended. They're right though. I don't remember it all so I have no idea if it's true. I have no reason to believe it's not, quite the opposite in fact, but I don't know if half of my words are true.

"Just come on!" I head back to the Map Room and usher the boys inside to show them. "What do you think it means?" I ask once we're seated at the large wooden table within the room.

Minho shakes his head. "I have no shucking idea, but it's probably important. We should write this down," he suggests.

With the mention of writing the words down, my mind wanders back to the memory from just before I was sent here. The pen. In hindsight, I have no idea why I don't use one of the writing utensils in the Map Room, but in my excitement, I hurry off to my hut and pull the simple, black ball point pen from under my pillow. The pen and the paper where I copied down the names I left myself before the Box are my only connections to my old life, so I'm unreasonably attached to them. That and my brother.

I pocket the paper and grip the pen in my hand as I walk to the door of my hut. Voices stop me from walking out just yet.

"You can't seriously be considering this!" An angry British voice exclaims. "We're not even in direct danger!"

Alby retorts hotly, "It's not just about you, Newt! This is about the whole Glade!"

"No! You're not thinking straight! I am considering the whole Galde! It's you who's not! She's a part of the Glade now too!" Newt is indignant.

"We'll call a Gathering to decide," Alby snaps.

"To discuss what? We don't need a bloody Gathering! The decision is obvious! There should be no question! The Changing has gotten to your head! One bloody letter shouldn't toss your loyalties out the shucking window!" Newt barks back. I've never heard him so angry.

Alby sounds appalled. "Oh so I'm the one who's thrown away his loyalties? Your loyalties used to be with me! With the Gladers! Now they lie with that shucking girl!"

"That's not true and you know it! All of the Gladers are in my best interests and she's one of them!"

"Fine then!" Alby yelled. "But when those boys start dying because of your selfishness, don't come running to me!" Then, under his breath, I strain to hear him hiss, "You couldn't even jump off the Wall right."

I gasp and stumble back against the wall as the sounds of angry stomping disperse in different directions. My head throbs. I was definitely not meant to hear that. Poor Newt. What was he trying to defend me against?

The throbbing in my head grows and I fall back on my bed. My vision blurs. What were they talking about? Jump off the wall? Something inside my brain snaps and my question is answered by a memory.

I push the door of the observation room open. Usually Thomas would join me, but he was still trying to recover from the Purge. It had taken a toll on my brother but he'd promised to come in later. I take a seat and pull my knees up to my chest, messing with the Beetle Blade until I find who I'm looking for.

It looks like it's Newt's day off from running. I watch as he chats with some of the other Gladers and then wanders into the Deadheads. After almost an hour of him sitting on a bench and looking at the graves, Newt stands up and walks purposefully towards the West Door, ignoring the other Gladers.

I sit up straighter in my chair, wondering why he was going towards the Door on his day off. He wasn't supposed to be Running today.

The Beetle Blade follows Newt as he walks inside the Maze. My friend wanders deep into the Maze and begins pulling himself up the ivy on the wall.

I shake my head. That's not safe. He has to get down, but I can't control anything going on inside the Glade except the Beetle Blade. I move the tiny camera closer, trying to block his path up. I'm not supposed to bring the Blade so close to the subjects but it's Newt.

He swats the Beetle Blade away and when I move it right back, he stares straight at me and says, "I don't know who you people are, but I hope you're happy. I hope you get a real buggin' kick out of watching us suffer. And then you can die and go to heck. This is on you."

Then Newt launches himself off the wall. My scream mingles with Newt's as I throw myself out of my seat and press my hands against the screen.

"No! Newt! No! Please!" I sob, my heart wrenched out with every one of Newt's anguished cries.

I'm not sure how long Newt cries on the ground but finally Alby finds him and carries him into the Glade. I remain on the cold tile floor, frozen in place, with tears staining my cheeks.

Just as Alby gets Newt to the entrance of the Glade, the door to the observation room opens and Tommy walks in. He sees me on the ground shaking and gasping for breath and immediately kneels next to me.

"Addy!" He exclaims putting an arm around me. "What happened?"

My panic attack chokes my words and instead of answering, I bury my head head in his shoulder and cry. I cry for Newt. I cry for his pain. I cry for being unable to stop it. I cry for letting it get to this point. I'll get him out. Somehow.

At last my vision melts back into reality and the flashback subsides. Tears stream down my face. I don't want to believe it. I can't. But even though I don't want to believe it happened, I care more about making sure it doesn't happen again. This is the one thing I never want Newt to succeed at. He's in a bad place right now and I intend to get him out of it.

I wipe my tears and set off purposefully to find Newt. When I do find him, he's sitting at the same bench in my memory.

I don't say anything as I sit down next to him. I place a hand on his knee to comfort him, but he says, "I just need a minute. His voice cracks and he turns his puffy eyed face away from me.

"That's ok," I say. I know he means he needs a minute alone, but I don't intend to leave. "I'll be here if you want to talk." I move my arm around him and rest my head on his shoulder. Newt tenses at my touch but after a while we both relax. In that moment, I realize that I can't lose him. I love him.