-

"why...why are you here?"

beomgyu's question came out like a whisper, his eyes stare at the man in front of him.

"i-i just-"

the guy's words got cut off when he heard beomgyu's sobbing. fuck.

beomgyu is sobbing as he held his chest tightly. he knelt to the ground, catching his breath while his tears continue to flow.

"s-soobin hyung... i was.. fuck, i was expecting you to be him! why-why am i like this? why am i disappointed that you're not him?!"

soobin held the boy in his arms, trying to ease his pain. he didn't know that beomgyu would be like this, and this just proves how much he likes yeonjun.

the boy left him without saying anything, yet he's still here.... waiting.

"calm down gyu, just breathe slowly."

"hyung... why does it hurt so much?"

beomgyu looked at him with teary eyes.

i don't know either. both of you are hurting, and i can't even do anything.

"let's get you home, okay?"

soobin was quiet while beomgyu slept in his shoulder. the whole bus was empty, with only the two as passengers.

after the bus ride, soobin walked him to his house. he opened the gate for him, and motioned him to get inside.

"get some sleep, you need it."

"wait, hyung." soobin stopped and faced beomgyu.

"i still have a lot of questions-"

"i know. list it down, we'll talk tomorrow. just sleep, please." he pat beomgyu's head and walked away.

-

"for pete's sake beomgyu, why are you here at this hour?"

soobin just woke up because his phone won't stop ringing. it turns out beomgyu has been calling him non-stop because he's outside.

soobin didn't even expect the kid to wake up this early. did he even sleep? he looked at the bags under his eyes. yep, guess he didn't.

"it's 5:30 hyung, you said we'll talk," beomgyu muttered, sitting on the older's bed.

"of course we'll talk! but at this hour? really?"

he just looked at soobin, still waiting for an explanation.

"what are you doing at yeonjun's house, hyung?"

soobin mentally cursed when heard the boy's question. he hasn't come up with a good excuse yet.

"well, that's a good question. i was.. you know, looking for clues."

the boy looked unimpressed. "really? who the fuck you think you are, fbi?"

he glared at beomgyu. his mouth really is unfiltered sometimes. might as well wash it with soap later.

"no, beomgyu. i was trying to see if he left some note or an address to his new home in busan."

his brows furrowed at his hyung's answer. "and why would you do that?"

"because i wanna know why he left us hanging? hello, you're not the only one he left here." soobin rolled his eyes.

"and why did you run when you saw me?"

"i ran because you scared the hell out of me! i thought it was some kind of police or something. i didn't even recognize your voice."

beomgyu bit his tongue, trying not to laugh. sure, soobin looks like he froze to death when he heard his voice. and the way he just ran away is funny too.

he cleared his throat.

"okay. so did you find anything?"

soobin shrugged. "he left some clothes, but that's it. there's no notes or any paper that will lead us to him."

beomgyu knew it. he wouldn't leave any trace if he doesn't want to be found.

"can i ask a question too?" soobin sat beside him, holding his hand.

"what would you feel if yeonjun... if all of a sudden, he showed up?"

soobin stared at him, as if searching for an answer.

beomgyu smiled bitterly. "you already know how i reacted last night hyung... I'll be really happy."

the other sighed, knowing how he cursed yeonjun when he didn't reply to his letters. he's still weak when it comes to him.

"and.. what if, just what if... he doesn't show up.. forever?"

beomgyu suddenly felt nervous. his hyung doesn't ask questions like this, he looks serious too. it feels like it's not just a 'what if'.

"hyung, i'll still live of course."

but a part of me will be empty.

-

we're getting there homies ;)