┏✦❘ ༻ 𝖂𝖔𝖔𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖌'𝖘 𝓟𝓞𝓥 ༺ ❘✦┓

Wooyoung didn't expect this.

The calm, the presence, the late hour, or the overwhelming feeling of belonging. He was standing there, just a few inches away from this vampiric male who went by San, holding onto his hand as if he'd lead him to safety rather than his own death. But, for some reason, this pull, regardless of if it made him oblivious or not, was hard to ignore.

"I need you to hang on to me," San says, earning the faintest breath of protest from Wooyoung, who held no time before he felt San guide him closer.

"Hang on to you–?"

Before Wooyoung could even gather what was happening, his arms wrapped around San's neck, face buried into his shoulder, feeling as the world around him began to pass in a blur. The wind was rushing, wrapping around him like a cool blanket, dizzying his senses and dragging him deeper into a sense of unease. His heart was thumping in his chest, rapidly beating with every single impasse of breaths, clinging on to San as if his entire life depended on it.

But suddenly, the rush stopped. The world stopped spinning, tilting on its axis, the wind now stagnant; unmoving. Wooyoung slowly looked upright, hesitantly searching the space around him before feeling a gasp sink into his lungs.

They were at the cusp of the forest, just before the cliff, looking over the entire stretch of the great forest, looking out towards the horizon as the moon roared back at him, glowing with an intimidating stare that sent a chill down Wooyoung's spine. The forest was sprawled out ahead of him, swallowing and engulfing him whole, cast in a shade of blues and greens as the sky darkened more and more the closer the clock ticked past midnight.

"San–" Wooyoung breathes out, pinching his brows together. "Where are we?"

Slowly, San allowed Wooyoung to let go of him, apparently not bothering to question Wooyoung's tight hold or the way his fingers clutched onto his coat.

"This is the place I would come to calm the thoughts inside, to seek clarity," San begins, turning to look at Wooyoung. "It's not far from the city, but it's far enough to seek complete silence."

"It's. . . beautiful," Wooyoung admits, trailing away from San as he steps closer to the edge, but maintaining a fair distance from it, just to be safe. "I never knew the forest was this large, this. . . intimidating."

"You learn to appreciate things like this," San says, staying rooted exactly where he stood. "Maybe not at first, but eventually, you begin to realize how much of the world you haven't seen, even if it's just right outside your door."

Wooyoung glances over his shoulder, folding his arms against his chest, listening as San's words seem to root themselves within him. He hadn't taken the chance to venture out of the city that he despised so much, forcing himself into acceptance that that was just his life now, and there'd be no way out of it. But this, all of this, was more eye-opening than he'd like to admit.

"The world is so much bigger than some dark thoughts, Wooyoung," San says, his gaze casted out at the scene before them, though his words were effortlessly soft. "That's a truth I wish I could've heard all those decades ago. Maybe it would've prevented. . . all of this."

Wooyoung's brow furrows, if only partially, before he turns half way, looking at San in a mixture of doubt and yearning. He wanted to understand, wanted to try to understand, but the darkness settled within his core felt to be too suffocating.

"What happened?" Wooyoung asks quietly, watching as San's gaze falters, breaking away from the moon and back towards him, lingering for a moment before he sighs, looking down at his shoes.

"It's a long story–"

"I've got all night, don't I?" Wooyoung asks, earning the slight glimmer of a smile from San.

"You could leave at any moment, if you wished to."

"I don't even know where I'm at San, and besides–" Wooyoung turns fully, hesitating, but allowing the words to slip, anyway. "You said you wanted to show me something, didn't you?"

"In truth, I did mean that, but. . . there's a lot I need to explain to you. Why–"

"Like why last night even happened?" Wooyoung interjects, earning a slow nod from San. "I'm curious about that, but I didn't want to force you to tell me, San. I'm just a. . . human, you're a vampire. You don't owe me anything."

"But I do, especially now, I do." San steps closer, but Wooyoung doesn't move. His heart is racing, his breath slightly hitching, but he can't move. He's scared, if only slightly, but the moment his eyes gaze into the crimson hues of San's, a rush of calm settles over his skin, almost as if his trust had suddenly consumed every single nerve, forcing him to relax. This was new, whatever it was, but he didn't bother to fight it.

"Then tell me," Wooyoung pleads softly, his arms folded against his chest, trying to protect the throes of his heart physically, even if he felt like he was falling apart. "I want to know everything. My thoughts have been a mess since then, and I just–" Wooyoung takes a breath inwards, his brows pinching together, "–I have to know why you didn't kill me."

San nods, but before Wooyoung could say anything else, San walked away, striding closer to the edge before he sat down carefully, one hand placed behind him as he leaned backwards, turning over his shoulder to glance at the younger. "Come sit. I'll explain everything."

Wooyoung follows on instinct, something that he felt rather compelled to listen to rather than willing to. He wasn't sure what it was, nor did he really bother to question it, especially if it'd give him all of the answers he sought.

"We live by a code," San begins, his attention shifting to the scene before him again as Wooyoung settled down next to him, carefully guiding his legs over the cliff's edge before sitting comfortably, just inches away, but it was enough to remain platonic. "All vampires, from what I've learned since I've turned, have always lived a life of secrecy to protect everything that's been ours."

"I'd imagine," Wooyoung murmurs, turning his head, watching San intently, listening with every ounce of focus he had.

"There's a strict guideline we follow, especially when it comes to feeding. We all have our preferences, but. . . when it comes to me, I don't hesitate. I don't bother to question it. I feed because I have to, and I take more than I need so that I don't have to go and feed every evening. It's overindulgent, and it's harsh of me really, but I turned off my emotions a long time ago. I don't feel remorse about it. Not anymore, anyway."

"You turned your emotions off?" Wooyoung questions. "Why?"

"When you're a vampire, you feel too much. Everything that you would feel as a human is amplified, almost tripled. Maybe more than that, even. Because of what happened to me, I was enragingly depressed, and the sadness. . . it was more than I could ever think to handle. The person who was training me, overseeing my transition, advised me that I could learn to harness it, or I could shut them off. I chose to get rid of them, only because I couldn't live an eternal life feeling that much remorse and guilt all at once. It was suffocating me, beating me down every single moment I tried to breathe, and the more I sat with it, the more I just wanted to tear into my chest and rip my heart out."

"You don't have to tell me what happened, San, but your emotions, those feelings, they make up who you are. Shutting them off doesn't get rid of the pain, it just makes it last longer, even if you can't feel it right now."

"I know, but even still, I don't want them. That's why I nearly killed you yesterday. I don't have the will to feel guilty about stripping someone's life away from them."

"But why did you stop, San?" Wooyoung presses further, still watching San intently. "Why? You had me, right there, and I couldn't move. You stopped."

San looks down, a breath leaving his lips. He looked unsure, if anything, but Wooyoung could tell that the male was questioning on even baring the truth. Whatever it was, seemed to determine the route of this entire conversation, either allowing it to linger or simply disintegrate.

"I can hear your thoughts," San begins, avoiding Wooyoung's gaze. "Every single one. To hear you thinking that no one would care, that Yeosang would be okay, that your death would hold no meaning. . . it made me realize that I was the same way just before I had died."

Wooyoung holds his breath, searching San's gaze as his brows pinch, unsure if he should speak or simply remain silent. He's partially shocked that San could read into his thoughts, likely using them to manipulate his every word, to drive this conversation in a direction of his favor, and yet, San still remained hesitant. Whatever he was feeling, regardless of how strong it was, seemed to have rendered him nearly speechless.

"For a second, you made me feel something. It was a spark of a feeling I hadn't felt in a very long time, and because of that, I hesitated. I pulled away, lost my confidence, and staggered backwards. I was supposed to wipe your memory after breaching into your mind, but. . . I panicked and ruined the ritual. I fucked it up, and that's why you can recall everything. Even if it's just parts of it, you can see it. It wasn't my intention to have all of this, to be talking to you and all, but my elder coerced me into this."

Wooyoung nods, turning his gaze away, looking out into the landscape before him again, feeling the chill of a breeze wander down his neck. "If you were supposed to kill me, even now, why haven't you?"

San freezes, a slight branch of shock casting over his expression.

"That's why you're here, right? To kill me? To get rid of the evidence?" Wooyoung lets his hands lower to the edge of the cliff, digging his palms into the soil and rock, allowing the pain to press back against his hands. "You said you lived a life of secrecy, but I ruin that. In knowing you, or rather, knowing about you, I threaten that."

San looks up, but the expression on his face is something Wooyoung can't quite name. He can see the male from the corner of his eye, but he doesn't bother to turn and glance at him.

"We're on a cliff edge, San. It'd be so easy to just shove me and push me over, but you just won't. Why the hell won't you?"

"Because–" San breathes out, his voice slightly firmer. "We're tethered."

Wooyoung finally snaps his head around, turning to look at San, his eyes slightly wide. "What?"

"Because I didn't do the ritual right, and I fed on you, we're tethered. We have a bond, even if it's new and just beginning to unravel, but I've never– I haven't felt something like this. Not ever."

"What does that mean?" Wooyoung asks, studying San's expression, though it remained unchanged.

"Your blood is in my system, Wooyoung. Your memories of that night are tied to me. I'm bound to you because your heart is still beating with my name on your tongue. You are drawn to me because you can remember me, because I imprinted on you. Vampire bonds, all of this, they're not my strong suit. My elder knows all about them because he too, did this very thing, and now I'm following in his footsteps–"

"Wait, wait, wait–" Wooyoung interrupts, waving a hand. He closes his eyes, brows pinching together as he tries to swallow all of the information that was given to him. "You–? I'm bound to you now? All because of that?"

"It's hard to explain, and like I said, I don't know all of the details. But, because of everything I fucked up, your heart is tethered to mine. We're drawn to one another, whether or not we want to be. I've tasted you, Wooyoung. You're running through me, and the more I can feel your heart beat, and the more I can sense it, the stronger the bond grows."

"This is a lot," Wooyoung expresses, taking a moment to simply just breathe.

He didn't know how to feel, let alone how to react to the news of all of this. All he wanted was answers, but he rather grew to have more questions than anything else. Knowing this, understanding what his pull towards San now finally meant, drew him into a deeper sense of confusion. What did it mean for a human to be tied to a vampire? Could they put an end to all of this? Could they simply walk away from one another and pretend not to care? Could San turn off his emotions towards Wooyoung and simply end it before it cost them each their life?

"We can't fight this, Wooyoung." San leans forward, taking a breath inwards. "I can hear your thoughts, remember."

Wooyoung chews on the interior of his cheek before he responds, keeping his tone light. "What do we do now?"

San shrugs. "We just. . . deal with it. The bond is only going to grow stronger, and it's up to us on how we wish to deal with it. We can entertain it, allow it to let us grow closer, or. . . we get rid of it. The only way we can get rid of it is. . . you know–"

"If I'm dead?" Wooyoung asks, watching as San solemnly nods. "Fuck. What the hell–?"

Wooyoung threads his hands through his hair, dragging his hands down his face as he shakes his head, feeling a strong sense of disbelief run rampant through his core. "I can't believe all of this, it's fucking– it's–"

"Overwhelming?" San asks, utterly calm.

Wooyoung snaps his head towards San, raising a brow, biting back the irritation simmering on his tongue. "Yeah. Overly overwhelming."

"I get it," San replies, his voice trailing off as the wind carries through, but Wooyoung can't help the chill that crawls down his spine. He shivers, absently, almost unaware of his own body as he sits there, looking down at his lap while still feeling San's eyes boring into him. He knew that the male was studying him, waiting for a reaction, peering into his thoughts to catch a glimpse of what was to come, but fuck. Wooyoung didn't know what he wanted, either. They had just met, barely, seeking the truth from one another in a weird cast of events that found them tangled together, more than they likely understood.

"I know that what I was thinking, what I said back there– I know it's all dark. I don't have much left in this world that I care about, or care for, and I. . . I wish I was gone, sometimes. But tonight, I made peace with that, you know? I thought it'd be better off if I just allowed you to take it from me. But now, sitting here, I find myself not knowing what I want." Wooyoung pauses, his hands moving to plant themselves behind him, leaning into his palms, tilting his head back to stare upright, watching the stars glimmer without the glare of the howling moon. "I have no one, San. Not really. I love Yeosang, but I'm nothing but a burden in his life. He's growing at his job, completely financially stable, in a relationship, has his own car and apartment, and I'm just here; in the middle of the woods with a vampire who wanted to kill me a day ago. I have no one who cares about me."

"Wooyoung–"

"I'm okay, San." Wooyoung tilts his head, glancing over his shoulder. "Maybe not completely, but one day, I will be. I just don't know when."

San is quiet, almost too quiet for Wooyoung's liking. He just sits there, looking at Wooyoung in a daze of possible confusion or lack thereof. Wooyoung didn't care; at least he was honest. That's all he wanted, well– partially. He wanted answers, descriptions and truths to the riddles now embroidered into his life, mapping out the path for his meaningless future. He didn't know what was to come of any of this, regardless of what this bond he now shared with San meant. He didn't want to isolate himself because of everything, but he also didn't want to succumb to this. The last thing he wanted was an eternal life spent in a world he despises. To become a vampire, to be everything that San is, just wasn't a single idea laid out in the midst of everything else he set out to accomplish.

"I don't believe you," San mutters, his eyes glimmering in the moonlight, giving way for Wooyoung to smile, furthering his point.

"It's okay. You don't have to," Wooyoung replies, turning back around, facing the glare of the moon as it seemed to only grow brighter. "No one has to. Only me."

"Tell me," San says a little louder, drawing Wooyoung's attention back, only if just momentarily.

"Tell you what?"

"Why do you think all those things about yourself?"

"I mean–" Wooyoung's brows pinch together. "I told you, didn't I?"

"Surely there's more than that, Wooyoung. You claim to have no one, but why is that?"

Wooyoung rolls his eyes, pulling his legs up, resting his chin on his knee while his arms wrapped around his legs. "Why do you care so much?"

"We're being honest with one another, and well, we're tethered, don't forget."

"I didn't forget, I'm just–" Wooyoung takes a breath, closing his eyes. "I'm still processing it."

"Well, since we're here," San says, brazenly reaching over, tapping Wooyoung's arm. "Tell me."

"San, we barely just met. You really want me to unload my fucking twenty years of trauma on you?"

San nods, leaving Wooyoung to sigh.

"Are vampires always this persistent?"

"Unfortunately," San says, offering a sheepish smile. "I have all night, Wooyoung. I can sit here and listen for as long as you need me to."

Wooyoung blinks his eyes open, tilting his head, his cheek resting against his knee as he studies San, eyes flicking around to truly take in everything that San was. He was a far contrast to how Wooyoung had initially seen him to be, taking on a completely different aura than he had before. He wasn't intimidating, brooding or ominous. Rather, he was softer, calmer, maybe still a little cold and closed-off, but nonetheless genuine. Maybe it was their tether, or maybe it was something else entirely, but Wooyoung feels himself be drawn further into this allure, his guard falling away slowly, inch by inch, leaving him more exposed than he's ever truly been with someone.

San's eyes were lighter than before, a lovely hue of blood-red crimson, swirling around with some type of dramatic allure. His skin was pale, but not by much, but as for his physique, from what Wooyoung could see, he was built like no other person he's ever met. His previous lovers held no weight in comparison to how San looked and spoke, seeming leagues beneath wherever San stood. Maybe the vampire essence was adding to his entire aura, but for whatever it was, Wooyoung felt like he was drowning in it.

"My parents are dead," Wooyoung admits, not missing the slight give of shock to mold against San's usually expressionless face. "I lost them years ago. I've been an orphan for many years, left to fend for myself. My family didn't care to want me, and I didn't much want them either. They've either all moved or died, too, which left me to live off of the streets for a while before I was old enough to move somewhere on my own. Yeosang takes care of me, even if I don't want him to, but I can't tell him no. It would just hurt his feelings."

"What happened to them?" San asks softly, which causes a pang of distress to swell in Wooyoung's chest, but he ignores it, just as he usually did.

"Drunk driver." Wooyoung turns his gaze away, lifting his head up, staring down at his lap. "Head-on collision, apparently. That's. . . that's what my grandmother told me. It was sudden, something that no one could've predicted. I just. . . never knew how to cope with it."

"I'm sorry," San mutters, earning a wave of Wooyoung's hand in return.

"It's fine, I'm fine, I–" Wooyoung sighs. "It's a hard story to tell. My grandmother died shortly after that from cancer, and everything has just been a mess since then. I've always been on my own, San. Yeosang just. . . he tries to pick up the pieces, but he has so many of his own problems to worry about that I can't stand being one of them. He's got a high-end job, a serious relationship, bills and an apartment, not to mention trying to track down his own parents– I'm just adding to it."

"I don't know Yeosang, and I don't know your friendship very well, but I'm sure you're not a burden to him, Wooyoung."

"Even if he told me I wasn't, I know that I am. His boyfriend makes it pretty fucking obvious to me that I am. I'm trying to get out of his hair and to move out and be on my own, but every time I think I want to, I. . . I struggle to leave."

San's head tilts, his eyes narrowing in thought, leaving Wooyoung to continue uninterrupted.

"Maybe it's because I don't truly like to be alone, or maybe it's because if I feel like I take a step away, I'll fall apart." Wooyoung glances at the sky ahead of him, wondering why the world was so beautiful, yet so cold right then. He could hear San shuffling around beside him, but he paid no mind. "All of my broken pieces have shattered further and further apart, and I'm too weak to try and repair them myself. I've tried and tried and tried, but I just want to wave the white flag; I want to surrender. I'm just so tired of being tired–"

Wooyoung feels his breath hitch, but he bites down on his lower lip, stopping the quivering before it could even begin. He was feeling too much, revealing more than he truly ever intended, and yet San just sat there and listened, unmoving, soaking in every single word, even if he didn't have to. He could've left. He could've gotten up and walked away, leaving Wooyoung on the edge of this cliff to deal with his emotions all by himself, and yet, for some reason, he stayed.

Before Wooyoung could even process what was happening, San shifted closer in a blur, his hand moving just beneath the skin of his chin, raising his gaze, turning his head towards him. Wooyoung remains pliant, following San's pull and turn, raising a brow slightly in curiosity as he meets San's gaze, trying not to openly think too far into all of this, but he couldn't help it when he felt his pulse quicken and his heart beginning to race.

"San–?"

"Just be quiet," San mutters, his hand adjusting slightly until he is cupping the side of Wooyoung's face. Wooyoung does as he's told, for once, biting his tongue, watching as San's eyes trailed over each and every single inch of his features, almost as if he was memorizing them.

"You're more than your past transgressions, Wooyoung," San begins, his eyes flicking up to meet the younger's. "You're you. Everything that has happened, both from the past and in the future, will shape you into who you are. If someone can't accept you like that, then they don't deserve a single moment of your time. Yeosang sees you, believe it or not. He loves you as you are. Despite all of your negativity and what you claim to be a burden, he sees past that. He's your friend, and friends don't judge."

Wooyoung feels as San's thumb strokes against his skin, lulling him closer into an odd state of peace that he felt himself struggling to fight against. He wanted to sink into it, be swallowed whole, to feel something other than this residual dread that has nearly rendered him numb since the day his parents died recklessly.

"I know our meeting is a bit. . . unusual. But, Wooyoung, I see you. All of your feelings, your desire to disappear, your will to please so no one leaves, the tears you swallow so people stick around for the positive parts of you, I see it all."

"San, I never even said half of those things–"

"Our bond makes me feel things from you, Wooyoung. Your emotions are tied to me in a way I don't understand, but I can feel them. I could tell that you were holding back, swallowing everything, but I just sat there and hoped that you would let it out eventually. No one deserves to shoulder the weight of the world on their shoulders in the way that you do."

"God, this tether is going to be the death of me," Wooyoung mutters, trying to look away before San refocused him by leaning closer, fanning his breath against Wooyoung's lips.

"Maybe, or maybe not." San lets his eyes lull, using his free hand to brush Wooyoung's hair out of his eyes. "But I'm here, regardless of how prepared either of us are for any of this. This tether, this bond, it's new for me just as it's new to you. I know you have a lot of questions, a lot of doubts, but we can conquer all of them together."

"How?"

San faintly smiles, though Wooyoung could sense the undercurrent of something warmer looming beneath his facade.

"We just. . . exist together. We figure this out, trial and error. I don't want us to give up whatever this is, Wooyoung. I feel different when I'm around you, and I don't know that I'm prepared to give that away."

"Tell me," Wooyoung replies, his gaze flicking down, catching sight of San's lips. "What do you feel that makes you think it's different?"

"You make me want to flick my humanity back on; to try again," San mutters, inching closer. "But I won't, I can't. I don't want you to see me like that."

"Make me a promise then, San," Wooyoung replies, keeping his tone soft.

"Like what?"

"I won't give up on this life. I'll try to live it for the sake of you, for the sake of whatever lays ahead for us. But, I need you to try and harness everything you've been avoiding."

San hesitates again, his eyes searching Wooyoung's, shoulders suddenly turning tense. Wooyoung knew what he was asking San, and admittedly, it was a bit selfish to try and convince him to turn his emotions back on when he chose to ignore them for one reason or another. But, if they were going to do this, truly do this, he knew that they could only ever conquer these feelings by being completely open with one another. What other way to do that other than helping one another triumph through what felt to be their toughest moment?

"You're going to be the death of me, aren't you?" San mutters, leaving Wooyoung to smile slightly, his eyes lulling too, leaning closer instinctually.

"Maybe. Maybe not. Guess we have to find out together, don't we?"

San nods, cradling Wooyoung's face in his hands, his hesitation bleeding through his every action as he sat there, likely questioning every single move. Wooyoung tilts his head slightly, smiling empathetically at San, treasuring how this male was truly overthinking their closeness in this moment when he had been such an arrogant asshole the night before. He truly was softer than Wooyoung imagined him to be, and for that, he found himself leaning closer into his decision to simply try again.

"San," Wooyoung mutters, watching as the male's red eyes flick upwards towards his, staying there, locking together. "Make me see life differently. Make me see it the way you do."

"I want to," San breathes out, the faintest flicker of emotion shimmering just beneath the tide in his eyes.

"What's stopping you?"

San pulls Wooyoung closer, insufferably close, their noses nearly touching, breaths hitching and warm, dancing in the small inch between them. Wooyoung freezes, allowing his hands to fall away, raising his arms, wrapping them around San's neck.

"I know you want to kiss me, San."

San's eyes close, his resistance palpable, if only slightly.

"Please."

For a moment, Wooyoung thought San was going to pull away. His body was screaming for distance, aching and yearning all in the same notion, but with the faintest slip of a breath, San tilted his head closer, brushing his lips against Wooyoung's, allowing a delicate, heart-fluttering kiss to melt between them. San parts away first, his breath slightly shaky as he leaned further away, his eyes shimmering with something unknown as he found Wooyoung's gaze.

Wooyoung smiles at him, feeling the breeze wrap around them again, but this time, it was warmer. It was carrying something, feelings that felt all too familiar, sparking and mingling in the space between them, but nonetheless intimate. Wooyoung didn't know where all of this was headed, nor was he even sure that he was prepared to take the plunge. But, he was diving in head-first, being swallowed into the depths, allowing the unknown to engulf him completely.

This feeling was all-consuming, thick and elusive, draping over him like a thick blanket. He couldn't run away from this anymore in the fashion that he did with everything else. But, something inside of him was screaming to stay, to remain put and to trust whatever was keeping them together. So, instead of running, Wooyoung leans into San, wrapping his arms around him, embracing the male who had been once a stranger and was slowly becoming more.

San melted into the embrace, his arms raising to wrap around Wooyoung, melding into what felt to be one beating heart on the edge of the cliff, witnessed by the roar of the moon.

"I'll show you everything I can," San pledges, murmuring into Wooyoung's hair. "For as long as I can, Wooyoung. Let me show you just how worth it you really are."