Don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT x enjoy

. ☾ .

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧: 𝐈𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Steve Roger's Apartment

Manhattan, New York City

. ☾ .

Sam's words had hit Allie like a brick, shattering her hardened resolve into millions of jagged shards. Tearing gashes into her heart. Inching closer to the beating vessel with every thought, looming dangerously over her very much needed organ.

She was never going to be the same. Not after everything that she had been through.

Those were Sam's words. And as much as she disliked the guy, she couldn't fault him for saying what he said.

She wasn't the same Allie used to train with Steve. Nor was she the same Allie who used to hang out with Howard in the science labs at the SSR. She wasn't the same Allie who Peggy used to dress up and she wasn't the same Allie who fought alongside the Howling Commandos. She wasn't the same Allie that Bucky had loved.

She wasn't the same Allie that anyone loved.

No, she was a monster now. She was haunted, completely guilt-ridden and scarred. She cowered from her demons and ran from the reality of her past. Because even though she begged herself to remember, there was always a little voice in her mind calling out for her to stop. Cowardly telling her that she didn't need to know the true monster that she was.

The old Allie would be ashamed. She was ashamed.

Wiping the few tears from her stained cheeks, she let out a soft sigh. She silenced her sniffles and wiped at her face with the sleeve of her black jumper. Tuning out Sam and Steve's conversation, Allie reluctantly got up from her seat on the bed and walked over to her backpack, looking for a temporary distraction from her morose thoughts.

She hastily dug through the bag, searching for her phone. Once her nimble fingers enclosed around the small flip phone, she yanked it out of the bag. Immediately flipping it open and going to the contacts. Despite her limited knowledge of modern technology, she managed to dial the lone contacts number.

The ringtone echoed into the room as Allie lifted the device up to her ear. Holding it with a tight grasp as she awaited for the very much-needed sound of Bucky's voice to answer. She hadn't even stopped to think of what the time was over in Bulgaria, but she still hoped that he would answer.

It wasn't like two of them could sleep anyway.

And just as she had hoped, the ringing finally ceased and a hoarse voice broke through the line.

"Allie?" Bucky's voice sounded, bringing a small smile to Allie's face.

"Hey." She answered softly.

"Hey, did you make it to Steve's?"

"Yeah, I'm there now." She replied, not failing to notice the concern dripping from his voice.

"And there was no HYDRA?"

"No, no one saw me." She shook her head, forgetting that he couldn't see.

A small silence interrupted the two as they were unsure of what to say. She didn't know where the conversation was to go considering Bucky had been adamant about not going to Steve's. She wasn't even sure if he wanted to hear about Steve, if he wanted to remain in ignorant bliss about the one surviving part of his past.

But she didn't care. She just needed to hear his voice again.

"How is he?" Bucky finally asked, a nervous sigh dripping from between his lips.

"He looks good, I think he has been okay." She responded honestly, holding back the fact that Steve was still searching relentlessly for him. "Sam is here as well." She added.

"Oh, how did he react to seeing you?"

"He wasn't very happy but I think he doesn't want to kill me now at least." She chuckled. "He's still a pain in the ass though."

"So, did you get what you wanted?"

"Yeah, I got some answers." She sighed, her mind flashing back to the conversation she had just finished with Steve. More specifically, Bucky and her's relationship. "I also got some more questions."

"I told you that would happen."

She could almost picture his smug face, feeling the corner of her lips quirking up as she thought about it. But then her mind involuntarily reminded her that he had been lying to her. That he had been withholding a huge portion of her past for absolutely no reason at all.

And she didn't know whether she could forgive him. Because by hiding her past away, he was doing exactly what HYDRA had done to her for years. She did not just liberate herself from the clutches of HYDRA to be lied to and used again. Not after everything she had been through. Despite all the guidance and support that he had offered, she wasn't going to be fooled again.

After all his promises, he had lied to her.

But she knew that she had to give him a chance. Something deep down inside her pushed for her to trust him. She was going to hear him out at least. She owed him that.

Before Allie had the chance to reply to Bucky, her overly sensitive ears picked up the sounds of footsteps echoing down the hallway. Footsteps that were heading towards her room. And guessing by the weight of the sound, she knew it had to be Steve.

"Steve's coming, I'll tell you the rest of it when I get home." She hastily told Bucky.

"Alright, stay safe."

"You too." She answered, ignoring the bursting of nerves in her stomach as she swiftly hung up the phone.

She barely had the time to throw her phone back into her backpack when Steve's knuckles tapped against the wooden door. Prompting her to hurriedly slide the bag into the corner of the room as she stood awkwardly in the middle of the oversized room.

"Hey, Allie." She heard Steve's soft voice call from the other side of the door. "Could I come in?"

With a tired sigh, Allie ambled over to the door and opened it for Steve. Frowning at his guilty expression. She gave him a small smile before she stiffly took her seat on the edge of the freshly made linen bed, gesturing for Steve to join her.

Steve gave her a weak smile as he sat beside her, running his hands through his golden locks nervously. Surprisingly, Allie had never expected to see the great Captain America so anxious. But then again, Steve was human. He was a person just like her and obviously found it just as hard to articulate feelings sometimes.

Steve opened his mouth slightly before he immediately closed it, shaking his head frustratedly. Unable to get the words out from past his lips. Allie couldn't help but empathize for him as she knew first hand how hard it was to articulate her feelings sometimes. How hard it can be just to say your peace.

"I just wanted to apologize for what I said before." He managed to breathe out, glancing away from her guiltily which made a flash of pain run through Allie.

"Steve, you don't need to apologize for anything." She responded forcefully, shaking her head.

"What I said earlier was out of line and I am sorry if I scared you." He apologized, his cobalt eyes welling with sadness.

Allie looked at him with grief, wishing that he didn't feel so guilty about his actions. Especially when she already knew that he was just struggling to adjust to the fact that his friend from 70 years ago who has murdered hundreds of people, was suddenly on his doorstep.

"Steve, I am not scared of you at all. I never have been and I never will be." She reassured him.

Steve gave her a relieved smile before he replied. "I just know that everything must be hard for you at the moment and that you still must be adjusting. But I just want you to know that I will always be here for you. I will always be your best friend regardless of what has happened."

"I know, Steve." She answered. "I also know that me being here is hard for you too. So I'm sorry for putting all of this on you."

"Allie, you will never be a burden or a problem for me." Steve said, shaking his head. "You are one of my best friends which means any problem of yours, is a problem of mine."

Allie truly smiled at his words, feeling her stomach flourish with relief and happiness

"I missed you." She told him honestly.

"I missed you too." Was the last thing he said before he wrapped her up in a warm embrace and clutched onto her like a lifeline. His big, strong arms enveloping her petite body tightly, almost afraid to let go. Letting the world around them melt away as they squeezed, relishing in the touch of a long-lost friend that had been found again.

. ☾ .

The next day was heartbreaking for Allie.

She had spent the morning with Steve, talking and joking around like old times. They tried to stray from any more mentions of their past and HYDRA, not wanting to start another fight when they had so little time together.

So Steve talked about everything that she had missed out on. He mentioned bands and artists that she quickly forgot. There were movies and tv shows that he recommended. She heard something about the Rolling Stones, but then again she might have got that confused with Rocky or Pop Rocks. Not that she knew what any of those were.

There was just way too much for her to even begin to take in. But watching Steve's face light up with excitement as he talked about everything made it worthwhile.

She had even stuck around for lunch. Steve decided he was going to order in some Thai food which she really liked. She made a promise to herself to look for some back home in Bulgaria and get Bucky to try it too.

But she knew that she had to go home.

Her ticket was booked for 5pm and she couldn't miss her flight. Even though she wanted to spend more time with Steve, she couldn't leave Bucky alone for any longer. She had already felt guilty enough leaving him behind for a day. She also didn't want to let him think that he was being replaced by Steve either.

So Allie packed up all 3 of her belongings and said goodbye to Steve.

Steve had urged her to stay, claiming that they had much more catching up to do which was very much true. Allie felt herself caving in to his demands, and since she couldn't tell him that she had to go home to Bucky, she struggled to give him a believable excuse to leave.

In the end, she told him that she had to solve some problems of her own. Steve pushed her to tell him, but he eventually gave up when he realized that she wasn't going to give up anything. But he did make her promise to call him at least once every week. She definitely wasn't going to deny him that because she knew that she wanted to talk to him some more as well.

Steve hailed a cab for her and then gave her a bone-shattering hug. She struggled to breathe as he wrapped her up in his arms but she was grateful anyway. She would always be grateful for something like a hug, considering she spent 70 years being poked, prodded, and manipulated by HYDRA who didn't believe in the power of a simple hug.

She regretfully got into the cab, watching on sadly as Steve's face quickly disappeared from sight. Wishing that she had more time with him, that they had more of an opportunity to talk about everything. She wished that she didn't have to leave, but of course, she had to.

The only brightside was that she was going back home to Bucky.

She tried to ignore the ominous feeling in her gut about the looming conversation that she was going to have with Bucky. But she found that she really had nothing else to think about. What else was a 90-year-old former captive of HYDRA with no recollection of her past supposed to think about?

Those nauseating thoughts dominated her mind for the entire 13 hour flight, not giving her a single moment of reprieve. She was unable to sleep or distract her mind from what was awaiting her back home. Even though she promised herself she was going to be calm and level-headed about the issue, she still felt anger flickering inside her.

When the plane finally landed in Sofia, Allie forced herself up from her seat and into the bustling terminal of the Sofia Airport. Her senses were on high alert as she maneuvered through the crowds, looking for any sign of danger. She used her powers to pass through the security without detection, having perfected the process by now.

The closer she got to exit of the airport, the more she felt her nerves grow. Bucky had promised to wait for her outside, and she was anxious to finally ask him why he had lied.

Why he kept their relationship a secret from her.

She felt her steps slow as his dark mop of hair came into view, standing just outside the glass doors of the terminal. The early morning sun shone onto his face, giving him a faint glow as he basked in the warm light. She watched as his azure eyes flickered between the passing people, obviously looking for her.

He was wearing his usual dark clothes, a simple black sweater and navy jeans. Dark gloves covered his hands, hiding his metal arm from view. But despite his plain get up, Allie still found him attractive. And it absolutely killed her to admit it.

With a deep sigh, she forced her feet to move towards him.

She kept her gaze trained on him as she walked. She could feel her pulse pounding in her temples, increasing with every step she took. Her stomach shifted uneasily and she noticed that her hands were beginning to sweat. She quickly wiped it against her dark top, swearing beneath her breath at her anxious state.

She hated feeling this way, being so out of control of her emotions. It reminded her that she couldn't even control herself. That her body refused to listen to the encouraging words her mind tried to speak.

But she was broken out of her trance as Bucky's eyes finally met hers, noticing her approach.

He immediately gave her a warm smile, happiness swirling in his blue eyes as he watched her stroll towards him. Despite the fact that she was only gone for 24 hours, he had felt the absence of her presence. He had missed their conversations, their banter and their jokes. But most of all, he had just missed her company.

"Hey." He greeted, still smiling excitedly at her. "How was the flight."

"It was fine. The person in front of me put their seat back for the entire flight." She spoke, carefully trying to maintain a casual tone.

But Bucky automatically knew something was up. He had known Allie for too long not to recognize the signs. So his smile quickly dulled and his brows furrowed. Worry flowing through him as he looked down at her, trying to decipher what was wrong.

"Did you get any sleep?" He asked.

"No." She shook her head.

"Allie..." He frowned in concern.

"I know, I'll try tonight." She murmured, tearing her gaze towards the road as they began to make their way towards the car.

They walked side by side, an undeniable tension stirring between them. The conversation lulled as Bucky kept his eyes on Allie, questions running rampant through his mind about why she was acting so distant. He couldn't think of any reason other than something bad had happened back at Steve's.

And of course, he had predicted that this would happen.

"So, how was he?" Bucky questioned, trying to stealthily force the truth from her.

"Steve was good." She replied. "I found him at the library looking for you. I nearly tried to leave, but he saw me before I managed to leave."

"Why did you try to leave?" He frowned, curious as to why after all the excitement she had experienced about seeing him, that she had tried to run away before she could have her reunion.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Saying that I wanted to see him and actually seeing him turned out to be two very different things."

Bucky nodded at her explanation, knowing that feeling much too well. "Then what happened?"

"We went back to his apartment. He explained how we had met and the war. He told me about Howard and Peggy. He told me everything." She responded, watching his expression carefully as she spoke.

"Oh," was all that Bucky said.

Allie immediately frowned at his reply, waiting for him to bring up the secret that he had been harboring. But once again, he chose to keep it to himself, causing the anger in Allie's chest to grow from a small flame to a raging fire.

"He told me about us." She said bitterly, letting the anger seep into her words.

Bucky gulped, knowing that Allie was very mad at him. He saw the rage surge in her chocolate orbs and he noticed the way her hands had clenched by her sides. She was beyond pissed, and he couldn't really blame her.

"You knew we dated." She added, animosity dripping from her voice.

With a defeated sigh, he turned his gaze from her face and down to his feet as they kept walking. "I did." He breathed out.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She growled, keeping her voice low to avoid unwanted attention.

"Because I didn't want to freak you out. You had just got out of HYDRA and I didn't think that the first thing I should have told you was 'hi, I'm your boyfriend!'" He pointed out, trying to explain that despite his immoral actions, there was a rational excuse. He knew that he shouldn't have lied. But to be fair, he was put in a very awkward situation with no seemingly correct answer.

"No, but it would have been nice to find out in the following 3 weeks." She spat, glaring at Bucky.

"What would you have done if the woman that you used to love was thrown back into your life and she couldn't remember who you were?" He argued, trying to fight his own anger from seeping into his words.

"I deserved to know." She argued, ignoring the foreign feeling that overwhelmed her body at his words.

Bucky sighed, unable to find an excuse for her words. She did deserve to know, and he was being cowardly by not telling her. He was scared that she was going to run, that the truth would be too much for her to handle.

He had only just got her back and he wasn't going to risk losing her.

"Alright, I'm sorry. I should have told you." He finally sighed. "But you have to understand that it's hard for me as well. Other than Steve, you were the only person I remembered when I was on the run. I spent weeks searching for you. It had taken me so long to find out where you were and then when I found you, you couldn't remember me. Just getting you to trust me was hard enough so I didn't risk complicating it further" He explained, grateful that the anger residing in Allie's eyes was slightly fading.

But she was still angry at him. He had lied to her for weeks about their relationship. And it wasn't that he had just omitted the truth, he had denied how close they were when she had explicitly asked him about it.

She may have understood and sympathized with his reasoning, but she was still mad that he had upheld the lie for weeks.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" She asked.

"I don't know. If you didn't remember within a few months then probably." Bucky shrugged, pulling the keys out of his pocket as their car came into sight.

Allie wasn't even going to question how he managed to get a car. She was too busy trying to subdue her anger and move on, which proved to be a difficult task. As soon as he told her why he kept it a secret, she knew that she was going to forgive him. She did understand that it was a tough conversation to bring up, especially in both of their current states. But that still didn't mean that she was happy with the way he handled the situation.

"Is there anything else that I need to know?" She inquired, cocking a brow at him.

"Not that I can think of." He smiled sheepishly, unlocking the car and opening her door with a guilty smile.

"Well if you do remember something, tell me please." She told him snarkily, bending over to duck into the car.

"Yes, ma'am." Bucky saluted, closing her door gently before running around and jumping into his own seat. Quickly taking off and leaving the airport and their fight behind in the dust.

. ☾ .

Hey loves!

I am honestly sitting here so depressed because of 1D. I have been such a hardcore fan for a long time and idk why but I am back in the 1D groove again. I actually started writing an unreleased Harry Styles fanfic like 2 years ago and I almost want to continue it. It had SUCCHHH great potential and it was an original idea that I am almost ashamed I didn't continue with it.

Oh well, we will just see.

Also on another note, I watched Endgame with the fam yesterday. I cried on 3 separate occasions and had to explain to my parents why Nat deserved a better funeral, that the Russo's destroyed the character development of Thor and that Steve wouldn't have left Bucky behind. I don't hate Endgame or the Russo brothers but there definitely were parts that I was slightly disappointed in.

Anyway, onto the questions!

1. What did you think of this chapter?

2. What would you like to see next?

3. What do you think of the story so far and Allie's development?

4. Do you guys have any questions for me? :)

Until next time!

- Grace xx