death, hospitals

march 5, 2017

the clock struck twelve and her world fell to pieces.

a loud beep was heard from the room to her right, Mia's eyes widening as she looked at her 언니.

EunBi had been holding her hand, feeling the younger's frantic squeeze as her heart rate picked up it's pace.

"i'm sure it's nothing," the older softly spoke as she turned to look to the hallway, seeing flashes of nurses and doctors assigned to SooJin flying past the door's small window.

the older's hands wrapped around Mia's head in a protective yet awfully careful way, her bandaging and incision still fresh from early the previous day. she thought it'd shield out all sounds from getting through to the younger girl,

if only she were right.

without wanting to, Mia could hear SooJin's parents wails from the hallway, begging the doctors to do something and please hurry in broken shouts.

tears streamed down her face at an uncontrollable rate, her muscles unable to twist as it'd hurt her surgery site. all she could do was let it happen. 

her still weakened arms were somehow able to find EunBi's, holding her as tight as she could— which'd barely felt like a caress to the older.

"go.. 언니.. tell, love.." she spoke in a desperately quietened voice, EunBi sniffling as she softly nodded. "of course, i will, Mimi.. of course i will,"

Mia let go of the older's arms, giving her a weak smile as a sign to go ahead. EunBi softly caressed her hands as she let go, turning to walk out of the cold room.

Misaki was warm— so warm.

she could only keep her mind on one of her girls at a time, knowing she'd go clinically insane otherwise. she inhaled deeply as she let her body crash onto the wall behind her, the sounds of beeping machines and SooJin's still-wailing parents filling her mind after a spare moment of the calming, welcomed white noise.

EunBi turned her head, eyes looking to the ground as she made her way towards the door, leaning against it's frame. the sound of SooJin's breathing machine had decreased awfully too much, looking up only to see the girl seizing.

EunBi nearly fell to the ground, silently sobbing into her hands as she struggled to maintain steady breathing. for misaki, you gotta tell her.

EunBi stood up again, wiping her tears off her face before steadily walking into the hospital room, finding a clear path directly towards the girl.

why aren't her parents in here instead? she knew the answer— they couldn't bare sitting here, watching their youngest daughter die without being able to do anything.

EunBi's still shaky legs made their way to stand directly beside the girl, a perfect spot where she would be of no disruption to the rapidly moving medical staff. she grabbed for the young girl's hand— cold. awfully too cold.

the older leaned downward, moving her head to sit beside SooJin's ear, knowing the girl'd be able to hear her despite the obviously louder ruckus going on around them.
"SooJin-ie.. it's Eun 언니," she said, eyes growing more teary.

"you've been so strong, love.. i understand if you want to rest," she whispered, breaking down at the end of her sentence. her ears picked up very faint breathing from the girl she was holding onto, crying harder as she knew what was coming.

"SooJin-ah.. Mia said she loves you, she loves you so much, okay? we all do, okay? we'll be strong for you, okay?"

she didn't know who we was, EunBi was hysterical. she wanted nothing more than the last thing the girl'd hear to be comforting words— this was the best she could come up with.

"we love you, Mia loves you.. always,"

it was as if that word was what SooJin had been waiting for, as if it was the signal for her to finally let go.

SooJin's body stopped moving the second the final syllable left the older's words, mouth turning into the ghost of a smile as she let out her last breath, falling limp as EunBi held her.

was it the right thing to tell Mia?

would it be too much for the girl to handle, aware she was fighting for her own life already?

EunBi still wasn't thinking clearly, but everyone knows that already. she couldn't for the last, what was it now, 26 hours, give or take?

she slowly returned to the girl's room, eyes seeming drained of any possible tears.

Mia slowly looked at the approaching figure, EunBi blurred as the younger's eyes were filled with tears. "언니, gone?" she softly asked, EunBi stopping to breathe for a moment.

"yes, Mia, SooJin-ie is.. gone," the older spoke, catching herself from breaking down before getting the final word out, the action proving itself too hard to accomplish.

hours passed and Mia was finally asleep. her brain injury proved itself difficult to maneuver around, and when she was asleep— there was no waking her up.

EunBi was fine with that, though. as long as she could hear Mia's heartbeat, she was fine. the young girl had gone through a lifetime's worth of trauma and loss in the span of less than 48 hours, she needed a break.

the older's head laid on the mattress beside Mia's body, her hand holding the latter's own. the older's eyes were at the point of closing when the door opened, revealing a young nurse she recognized to be assigned to Bom I.

"Ms. Hwang?" the girl asked, EunBi's head rapidly moving up, facing the girl.
"yes?"

the nurse signalled for the older to step outside, a feeling of worry swirling around inside of her. EunBi hesitantly followed her out of Mia's room, softly closing the door once they'd reached the hallway.

"Bom I has a request for you.. she wanted to tell you herself,"

those words were enough to light a flame inside of EunBi— and it wasn't a good one. she'd just said goodbye to the girl who'd captured her heart the moment she arrived at the company, she wasn't ready to do the same to her little sister's best friend.

she hoped her 언니 instincts were wrong, just this once.

the Choi girl's eyes crinkled in delight as she watched her 언니 walk closer to her, her lips curling in the corners.

"hi, Bom," EunBi spoke, softly grabbing the younger's hand. "what'd you need from me?"

Bom I softly let the breath she'd been holding out, closing her eyes for a mere second before opening them again. "i'm tired, 언니.. i don't know if i can hang on much longer,"

EunBi's eyes widened, shaking her head in denial. "please don't say that,"

the younger softly chuckled, "i wish i was joking again.. can you take me to see Mia?"

EunBi's eyes shut closed as she realized the group's prankster wasn't joking, she knew her time was near. she sniffled, nodding her head. "she's asleep, do you want me to wake her-"

"no, please don't.. i don't want her to see me like this,"

see me like this meant Mia seeing her bestfriend's bruised body, a side of her Bom I'd never let Misaki see as she wanted the day-older to see her as someone that was strong— who wouldn't go down without a fight, even if it'd kill her.

funny how it happened to be a car.

Bom I had come to the funny realization a few minutes before EunBi'd arrived, the thing that's taking me out is a car. she always wondered what'd kill her— the lame effects of old age or something cool like dying while saving a baby from a gigantic stroller.

but no. it was a car.

lame.

the effects hadn't been too bad— at least not physically. sure, Bom I'd gotten a few scratches on her legs and arms, but the real damage lied within. a few cracked ribs and a punctured lung, how fun. not even a skull injury.

as much as the trouble maker of the group wished her injuries were cooler, she'd been able to feel herself slowly deteriorating away for the past few hours, her body giving her the signal that it was about to be time to say goodbye forever.

not until she could see Mia, though.

her vital signs monitor was wheeled beside her as she rolled into Mia's room, EunBi leading the way as the nurse pushed her.

Bom I took a deep breath as she entered her best friend's room, uneasiness taking over as she realized what she was preparing to do.

if you would've told her she could have four or so hours to prepare her final words for her most  favouritest person in the universe— the last one she'd speak to in this lifetime.. she would've laughed in your face and called you a bozo.

now that she was actually doing it.. she wished she could stop. seeing Mia lying on the bed— so vulnerable, so weak.. she wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel.

sad? confused? hurt? in pain?

Choi was knocked out of her thoughts as her short journey came to its end, feeling as if a timer was going off inside of her. it's time, the little voice inside of her head told her. shut up.

EunBi looked at the younger as she softly smiled, the stray tear falling down her cheek going unnoticed by its owner.

nothing had ever prepared her for such an instance— saying goodbye to your best friend. Bom I never thought it'd be her to do it, either.

the five girls had had countless conversations of what ifs and how comes— of course including the who'd be most likely to sacrifice themselves for the rest of us.

the answer was always Mia. she'd never let any of the members answer anything other than her, unwanting to think of life without any single one of the quarters of her heart.

march 4th was supposed to be the happiest day of her life— the day of her long awaited debut, yet it switched to the death day of two of her members. two of her best friends.

Bom I sighed out as she leaned closer towards the leader, softly grabbing her hand as to not accidentally wake her up. she caressed Mia's hand, interwining their fingers with eachother's.

before she began speaking, she looked to EunBi. "언니, could you hand me Mimi's phone, please?"

the older handed her the device, confused as she watched Bom I swipe to open the camera app. another tear fell down her cheek as she watched the girl lean in, pressing their cheeks together—

their final selfie together.

Bom I smiled as she looked at the picture, returning her gaze to Mia's face soon afterward. "it's so you don't forget me,"

the Choi girl handed the device back to EunBi, grabbing Mia's hand yet again.

"i'm sorry that i have to do this, Mimi.. i wish i could stay here and debut with you, but that isn't what's meant for us," she spoke, nearly whispering before a saddened smile took over her features.

"you've been the best leader me and the 언니s and Tae could've ever asked for.. thank you for all you've done and will continue to do while we look over you,"

the thought of not getting to live out even a second of their dreams together crushed Bom I, but she knew her cries, even if silent, would send a signal to the Ono girl's brain. she had to stay strong for the girl to stay alive for them.

"follow your dream, Mi.. don't give up just because of this. i know it'll be hard, especially without me, but you can do it.

i hope we can debut together in another lifetime,

goodbye for now. i love you, eternally,"

Bom I pressed her cheek to Mia's hand after pressing a soft kiss to it,

breathing her last breath as she held Misaki's hand with her own.

♡♡♡♡♡♡,  完成!
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