VIII: The Weight of Unspoken Words
He broke the kiss, his grip on me unyielding, as we both staggered for breath, our chests rising and falling in a rhythm that seemed too quick, too desperate for the stillness of the room. The world felt hazy, the heat of his touch lingering like a fire that refused to fade.
"That..." he murmured, his lips curling into a smirk, still tingling from the kiss. "That was delicious."
His words were dripping with satisfaction, a dangerous satisfaction that made the air thick with his insatiable hunger. His eyes, those pale, relentless eyes, flashed with something darker—an unmistakable desire, that insidious need for more.
"I want more."
The words were a whisper of poison, sweet yet threatening, and before I could even process them, I stepped away from him, putting distance between us. His hands reached out instinctively, but I was already out of his grasp.
"Ah, ah," I teased, wagging my finger in playful defiance, my lips curving into a smile that was all mischief and challenge. I reached up, my fingers brushing against the blindfold, the cool fabric brushing over my eyes like a shiver of restraint.
"No more. Not now," I said softly, my voice a mix of playfulness and finality. I shook my head, my white hair falling loose around my shoulders in a soft cascade, adding to the weight of my resolve.
Valdemar's expression shifted—his head cocking to the side like a curious predator, his fingers pressing together in a familiar gesture of contemplation. But his gaze remained, dark and intent, burning into me with the weight of his unspoken demand.
"And why not, darling gem?" His voice was almost a velvet growl, a question laced with frustration and longing.
I met his gaze, my smile gentle but firm, the calm presence I maintained like a shield against his hungry desires.
"I have somewhere to be today. You wanted to see me, and this is it."
I shook my head slightly, a knowing glimmer in my eyes as I adjusted my blindfold once more, the fabric settling over my eyes like a promise unfulfilled.
"We'll talk about this afterward."
With those words, I turned, sweeping toward the garden, my every movement purposeful, each step a defiance of his lingering presence. As I walked away, I could feel his gaze on me, heavy, like a pull I couldn't escape—his longing stirring within him, caught between desire and the inevitable wait.
SCENEBREAK
I stepped into the courtyard, the cool air brushing against my skin as I took in the familiar space, but my attention was immediately drawn to Portia. She was standing there, her posture tense but softening when she saw me. The worry in her eyes was clear, as if she could sense the lingering weight of what had transpired. She rushed toward me, her footsteps quick and urgent, and when she reached me, her hands grasped mine with a kind of desperate gentleness.
"I'm so sorry for leaving you alone with him," she said, her voice trembling slightly, the vulnerability in her words making my heart ache. Her eyes were clouded with concern, the depths of her worry plain for me to see.
I gave her a small, reassuring smile, soft and warm, shaking my head in a slow, deliberate motion.
"It's alright. I'm fine."
The words slipped from my lips like a balm meant to soothe both of us, but I could still feel the remnants of Valdemar's presence lingering, an unseen weight. Still, I couldn't allow Portia to see it. Not now.
Then, as if summoned by the very air around us, Asra emerged from the shadows, his figure appearing with a quiet grace, his presence undeniable. His eyes, dark and unyielding, met mine—intense, focused, as though they were attempting to read the very core of me. He traced the line of my chin with his gaze, and I felt an involuntary shiver run through me. The scrutiny was sharp, almost invasive, but I reminded myself—this was Asra. My master. He would never hurt me. Not instantly, anyway.
"What is wrong?" His voice was low, almost a whisper, tinged with concern, but it still carried that hard edge that only he could master. There was a hint of something in his tone—something that didn't quite reach the surface, but it was there, lurking beneath the calm.
I turned toward Portia, offering her a soft, affectionate touch as I wiped away a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek. She hadn't even noticed it, too caught up in her worry for me. My voice was gentle, soothing as I whispered to her, trying to ease the storm brewing within her.
"No need to worry, dear," I said, my words a quiet comfort, a shield between us and the weight of what had just transpired. "It's just Valdemar. We were just... talking. Nothing more."
The lie slid easily from my tongue, smooth and effortless, but even I knew there was more to it than that. Still, for Portia's sake, I kept the truth buried, hiding the depths of what had transpired between Valdemar and me—at least, for now.
Portia took a deep breath, her voice trembling as she spoke, the words coming out in a soft, stifled whisper. "I know, but still... it hurts, watching..." Her sentence trailed off, and I could see the concern written clearly across her face. She reached up, brushing a stray tear from her cheek, her eyes filled with unspoken fears.
I stiffened at the undercurrent of her emotions, the worry that swirled in the air between us. But I smiled gently at her, offering the smallest reassurance I could give, the curve of my lips faint but genuine. It was all I could do for now.
Before I could say anything more, Asra's presence loomed beside us, his hand slipping into mine with a quiet authority. His grip, though steady, sent a shiver through me, but I had long since grown accustomed to the subtle power he held. His eyes locked with mine, and I knew, without him speaking a word, that something was about to change.
"Sapphire," he said, his voice low and commanding, but laced with an undercurrent of something deeper, more personal. "I want to speak to you."
There was no question in his tone—only the certainty of a master who had every intention of being heard. The rest of the world seemed to blur for a moment, and all I could focus on was the quiet intensity in his eyes, waiting for me to respond.
I nodded slightly to Portia, my expression softening with the quiet understanding that I would be fine. Asra's presence, though commanding, brought a sense of urgency, and I followed him without hesitation. He guided me with a firm, but gentle grip, leading me away from the courtyard and beneath the dense canopy of hanging lichen. The air grew cooler, the shadows thicker as we ducked beneath the veil of leaves, and I could hear the faint rustling of branches swaying in the breeze.
We arrived at an abandoned stall tucked away, a place forgotten by time, its wooden walls cracked and weathered. The scent of mildew and age hung in the air, but it was the only place where we could speak in private.
Asra pulled me inside, the cool darkness swallowing us, and I stiffened instinctively as he ushered me into his embrace, his strong arms wrapping around me in a rare display of vulnerability. I tensed at first—the suddenness of his touch unfamiliar—but then something changed. I felt the weight of his chest rising and falling, his breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps. The space between us, once so tense, now seemed to pulse with something much more fragile.
His back trembled beneath my hand, and that's when I realized—he was crying. The soft, wetness seeped into my shoulder, and I blinked, a quiet shock settling over me. This wasn't like Asra. He was never one to show weakness, never one to expose himself in such a raw, unguarded way.
I hesitated, my heart skipping a beat as I processed the unusual shift in him. This side of him—broken, vulnerable—was something I had never witnessed before. Something new, unfamiliar.
"I'm sorry I left you like this," he hiccupped, his voice thick with emotion, cracking on the last word. His arms tightened around me, almost as if he were afraid I might vanish if he loosened his hold. The sight of him—master of control, now undone—stirred something deep within me.
I didn't speak immediately. I didn't know what to say, but I did the only thing that seemed right. I reached up and gently patted his back, offering what comfort I could. My mind raced, caught between disbelief and the need to offer him solace. The man who had always been the one to give orders, to remain untouchable, was now in my arms, his vulnerability laid bare.
I gently cupped his cheek in my hand, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath my touch as he leaned into it, the weight of his exhaustion pressing against me. His body, tense just moments ago, seemed to relax ever so slightly, his breath slowing as he sought the comfort of my touch. The stillness between us felt intimate, fragile, as if I could break the spell at any moment, yet I didn't want to—didn't want to pull away from this rare moment of vulnerability.
I smiled softly, my heart aching in a way I hadn't anticipated, my emotions swirling like a storm. Oh, Asra, I thought, you're a darling dear.
"I was fine, Asra. I really was," I whispered, my voice gentle as I leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose. The warmth of his face beneath my lips made my heart clench, and I couldn't help but feel the need to offer him this small comfort, to reassure him that he hadn't failed me.
His skin was flushed with emotion, the tension still in his jaw, but I could see the flicker of gratitude in his eyes as I spoke. I swept my thumb gently across his cheek, feeling the remnants of tears still tracing the lines of his face. The weight of everything he had kept hidden was starting to lift, bit by bit, as if my words were slowly unraveling the tight knots of guilt he carried.
"Valdemar can't hurt you, you know that," I added, my voice firm yet soothing, attempting to wash away any lingering doubt or fear. My words weren't just for him—they were for me too, a quiet reminder that we were in this together, that no matter what had transpired, no one could truly break us. Not like this.
Asra took a slow breath, his body still trembling slightly beneath my touch. He didn't pull away, didn't reject my comfort, and for once, I could feel the faintest trace of peace in his eyes. It wasn't much, but it was enough to remind me that, in moments like this, we didn't always need to be the strong ones. Sometimes, we just needed to let go, even if just for a moment.
Asra nodded, his eyes closing as he took in a steady breath. "I know," he murmured, but there was still an undercurrent of something raw in his voice. "But I still worry... you're my apprentice, after all." The words hung between us, heavy with unspoken fear and care.
I felt a sharp pang in my chest, a tightness that made it hard to breathe, and a flood of unbidden thoughts rushed through my mind. Is that all I am to him? I thought, the question lingering in the quiet spaces of my heart. But before I could process the ache fully, I caught the flicker of something in his eyes—something fleeting but real, the vulnerability of his feelings. His eyes widened slightly, and he seemed to gather himself, his words faltering as he tried again.
"Y-You know what I mean..." His voice was softer now, unsure, as if trying to find the right words to convey something he couldn't easily express. The hesitation in his tone made my heart twist.
I chuckled softly, shaking my head as I took a step back from him, giving him space to breathe and collect himself. "I know," I said, my voice calm, offering him that reassurance.
I sighed, then smiled at him once more, letting the weight of the moment slip away as I reached for his hand. The tension between us slowly ebbed, and I allowed myself a breath of relief. "Now, let's go to Naida," I said, my voice steadier now. "She would need us both, don't you think? Especially in light of finding her ex-husband's murderer."
Asra dried his tears with the back of his hand, his expression softening as he nodded. "You're right," he replied, the sorrow still lingering in his eyes but now tempered with resolve. Together, we turned to leave the quiet stall and head back toward the courtyard.
As we walked back, Portia was waiting for us, her gentle smile lighting up her face as she noticed us approach. Her eyes sparkled with a mixture of relief and curiosity, her busy hands pausing for a moment as she noticed our return. Seeing us, she smiled wider and waved us over with an unspoken invitation to join her.
We walked toward her, the weight of the past few hours beginning to fade as we settled back into the rhythm of our shared purpose. The day stretched out before us, and though its events were yet to unfold, I knew we would face them together—stronger, more connected, no matter what the future held.
And so, with Portia by our side, we spent the rest of the day talking, planning, and preparing for whatever came next. The lingering shadows of the past felt lighter now, at least for a moment, as we walked forward together.
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