SHAY YET AGAIN FOUND HERSELF filled with guilt as she laid naked next to Jax in his bed staring up at the ceiling. She hated herself for letting this happen again especially when Ben and her had finally gotten back on a good path with their relationship.

It was suppose to be a normal day of her bringing Leela to Jax's house while Kenny and Ellie were with Piney's for the weekend, and yet, the moment Shay stepped foot in the house there was something in the air. Whether it was the way Jax flirted a little more than usual or the way he kept finding little ways to touch her, she didn't know but what she did know was that she wanted him, and the guilt that ate her up inside of feeling that wasn't enough to stop her from remembering how good Jax felt inside of her once Leela was sleeping.

A sigh left her lips as Jax began to run a hand down her bare side — his fingers stopping to dance over her rib tattoo. She hated this feeling, the guilt that immediately came after the pleasure. Cheating was something Shay had always looked down on, she always said she could never forgive cheating in a relationship yet here she was being a fucking hypocrite.

The club had a rule that whatever happened on the road didn't matter, they were allowed to sleep with other women as long as it didn't fuck up their lives at home and Shay had always thought it was a barbaric rule. It was just an excuse to cheat — for men to have their cake and eat it too. Yet, here she was acting like some road pussy, only this wasn't the road and eventually it would fuck up both of their lives.

"We have to stop doing this." Shay closed her eyes as she relaxed until Jax's touch. She was trying to keep her voice firm, but it sounded shaky and delicate.

A smirk took over Jax's face as he watched Shay squirm under his touch. He loved the way a simple touch sent her into overdrive. Jax knew it was only his touch that got her like this.

"You don't sound so sure of that darlin'." He teased as he began to place soft kisses along her jaw.

The SAMCRO VP knew she was still with Benny boy, that idiot cop, yet here she was in his bed moaning his name and that made Jax even more excited. If he could he would taunt the man, telling him all the ways he had pleased Shay while she moaned his name and rode his dick. It would be great to see Benny boys face after hearing that.

"Jax," Shay warned as she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the blonde man. "I can't keep doing this! The guilt is eating me up. Don't you feel guilty for doing this to Tara?" She questioned while sitting up in the bed.

A sigh left Jax's mouth as he ran a hand through his hair. "Tara and I aren't doing so well. She's not made for this kind of lifestyle."

Jax had been so happy when Tara first came back to Charming, he had been in love with her since he was sixteen and when she left it was a pain he wouldn't wish on anyone, but life moved on when she left and while he still thought of her and loved her, he was no longer in love with her. It was a different type of love.

"And I am?" Shay scoffed as she scratched at her forehead. "It's okay for you and me to fuck behind her back because I'm made for this lifestyle? Fuck Jax, do you hear yourself? I'm not some side pussy." The brunette threw the covers from her naked body and began gathering her discarded clothes.

"And I'm not some side dick, Mills." Jax countered as he watched the Miller woman stop in her haste and stare at him with a seething anger in her eyes.

"Fuck you, Jax." Shay spat as she threw his shirt at him. "You have no problem being the side dick when it benefits you, and now it's not good enough because you and Tara aren't doing good? Go fuck yourself." Shay shook her head as she pulled her shirt over her head.

She wanted to get out of there and quick. She was so sick of Jax's smug face right now. There were many reasons Shay wouldn't be in a relationship with Jax and this was one of them — the little fights they had were exhausting and constant. They drained her.

"You can drop Leela off later. I'm not going to take away from time with you and Abel just because you're a dick." Shay folded her arms across her chest as she looked at Jax.

"Okay." Jax nodded as he began getting dressed.

He didn't have anything else to say. He hated these stupid fucking little fights with Shay. They had been constant ever since they were kids and he knew it was just better to let her cool off then continue the fight and let it escalate to something bigger.

The Miller woman simply nodded not saying another word before taking her leave. She was in desperate need of a shower and oh, how she wished Donna was here to listen to her rant and give her sound advice. Donna would have known what to do.

____

THE LOT OF TELLER-MORROW WAS surprisingly empty besides a few mechanics here and there. It had been a few weeks since Shay had a real conversation with her dad — not since the dinner where he bought up the topic of her mother.

Caleb Miller knew his ex wife was a sensitive subject and one Shay or Natalie didn't like talking about. It had been years since they had last set eyes on the woman and even longer since they had a conversation with her — though that term could be used loosely.

"Hey, baby." Gemma's voice entered Shay's ears causing the brunette to turn her attention towards the office to see the older woman leaning against the frame of the office door with a smile on her face.

"Hey, Gem." Shay gave a small smile to the woman who raised her.

"Everything okay with you and Jax?" Gemma raised an eyebrow at the younger brunette. The queen of SAMCRO could sense there was something going on between the two. There was a tension between them for a few weeks now and she couldn't quite figure it out.

"That's a question you gotta ask your son." Shay said with a sarcastic smile before walking off to find her dad, leaving Gemma wondering.

"Hey, old man." Shay greeted her dad with a smile.

"I'm not that old." Caleb chuckled as he poked his head out from underneath a Honda. "I got us some food. What do you say? Got time for some lunch with your old man?" He asked, wiping his hands off and holding up a brow paper bag of food.

A laugh left Shay's lips. "Of course I do."

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AN —

Just a quick update because today is my only day off before next Thursday and I wanted to update at least something. Thank you for all the votes and comments!