THE BLACK DRESS HUNG from Shay's body as she looked at herself in the mirror, tears filled her blue eyes as she tucked her dark hair behind her ears. Today was the day of Donna's funeral and Shay was trying her best to keep it together. It was an impossible task though, she knew once she saw Opie and the kids the strong facade she was putting on would break in an instant.

Shay quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and began to put some cover up onto her skin, hoping to get rid of the blotchy red patches that had begun to take over her skin. It felt pointless to smother make up over her face. What was the point of it? Donna wasn't going to give a fuck if Shay wore makeup to her funeral or not. Donna could have given a fuck less about makeup. It was pointless and stupid.

A knock on the bathroom door made the dark haired woman jump, a sigh leaving her lips as the makeup brush fell from her hands. "Fuck." Shay muttered softly while placing a hand over her rapidly beating heart.

"Hey darlin'." Jax smiled softly as he poked his head inside the bathroom. "You okay in here?" He pushed the door open wider, leaning against the doorframe.

Shay nodded as she took in Jax. The prince of charming was dressed all in black, wearing his Sons kutte proudly on his back as his blue eyes watched Shay like a hawk as though she could break at any moment and to be honest she probably could.

After she had broken Stahl's nose and Ben put her in a holding cell for a few hours Jax had been watching Shay even more than he had been after Donna's murder. He knew Shay wasn't normally a reckless person and wasn't one to go around hitting ATF agents, and he knew the strong facade she had started to put on wasn't going to last long. It was only a matter of time before Shay broke and he needed to be there for her.

"Is Leela ready?" Shay asked as she turned away from Jax as she began applying her makeup once again.

She knew Jax was trying, but the way he looked at her made her want to scream. The pity in his eyes every time he looked at her made her crazy. Pity was never something she wanted from anyone — especially from Jax.

Jax nodded, "Ma got her all ready."

Shay nodded taking one last look at herself in the mirror before turning back towards Jax. "After the fu...funeral." The word was hard to leave Shay's mouth. It tasted sour on her tongue and made her stomach full of knots. It was a word she had never wanted to associate with Donna. "After the funeral Leela and I will be going back to our house." Shay finished.

It was time for Shay to leave Jax's house. She couldn't keep sleeping in his bed night after night letting him wrap his arms around her and hold her while she slept. It was sending mixed signals for everyone involved. They both were still in relationship even if those relationships were strained. Shay needed to figure her own shit out with Ben while Jax needed to figure his out with Tara.

A sigh left Jax's mouth as he ran a hand over his hair. He didn't want Shay and Leela to leave. It had felt nice having them here with him and Abel — giving the shitty circumstances. They felt like a family all living under one roof and he felt like he was doing a better at being a dad to both Leela and Abel.

"Are you sure?" Jax questioned. He knew it was pointless to argue with Shay. Especially right now.

Shay nodded before exiting the bathroom leaving Jax standing there, running a hand over his exhausted face.

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THE WINSTON HOME WAS FULL OF SAMCRO members offering their condolences to Opie and his children as they chatted quietly among themselves.

Shay stood quietly by the back door her watery blue eyes watching Kenny and Ellie sit mournfully on the old swings in the backyard. Ellie had run up to Shay the moment she saw her, wrapping her small arms tightly around the Miller woman and burying her tear stained face into Shay's dress. It had taken everything in Shay not to break down and cry along with the young Winston girl but, she stayed strong for Ellie, holding her tight and allowing her to cry. 

Ellie and Kenny had made a bee line for the backyard once they arrived home from the cemetery with Ellie asking if she could bring Leela along with them which Shay quickly agreed to. She knew Ellie loved Leela like a sister and if sitting in the backyard with her older brother and Leela would help in anyway to distract their minds from today's events then Shay would do whatever it took to allow the Winston children some sense of normalcy.

"She really loves Leela like a sister." Jax spoke softly as a small smile formed on his face. He stood behind Shay watching the three kids outside, stoic faces on as Ellie held Leela tightly in her arms.

Shay nodded at Jax's words while keeping her blue eyes focused on the back yard. That feeling of guilt had taken over again. It should have been Donna standing here watching her children not Jax and her. It wasn't fair that everyone else but Donna would see Kenny and Ellie grow up. It made Shay's head hurt thinking of all the moments Donna was going to miss out on.

Jax placed a comforting hand on Shay's back. He could see the turmoil she was going through. Donna was her best friend, no, she was more than that. She was like another sister to Shay.

Shay relaxed under Jax's touch for a moment before shaking his hand off of her back and walking out into the back yard leaving Jax standing there by himself.

"Is it okay if I join you guys?" Shay asked as she forced a small smile on her face. "The adults are boring." She teased while rolling her eyes.

Kenny and Ellie looked over at Shay, nodding their heads at her before continuing to stare at the grass with no emotions on their sad faces. A soft sigh left Shay's lips as she made her way towards the empty swing in between Kenny and Ellie. It pained her to see the kids this way, if there was some way she could take away all of their pain she would.

"Aunt Shay," Kenny asked as he looked over at Shay.

"What is it Kenny?" Shay smiled softly at the boy as she carefully sat down on the empty swing. The old swing set had seen better days and she really did not feel like busting on her ass on it.

"Can Ellie and I stay with you?" He asked sheepishly.

A small silence had taken over as Shay stared back and forth from Kenny to Ellie. She could see the pleading look in both of the children's sad eyes as they waited in anticipation for her answer.

"I'll talk to your dad." Shay spoke softly placing her arms around the two Winston children, earning the tiniest of smiles from each child.

✧❁❁✧✿✿✧❁❁✧

SHAY PLACED THE LAST OF THE DIRTY DISHES INTO the dishwasher before closing it and turning it on. Everyone else had left a few hours ago while Shay stayed behind to help clean up and talk to Ope about the kids coming to stay with her.

Opie hadn't been in the right head space which was to be expected and she wasn't sure how far in a conversation she would get with the giant of a man.

"Hey," Opie spoke as he entered the kitchen, "thanks for cleaning up you didn't have to." He added while grabbing a beer from the fridge, quickly popping it open and taking a long sip from it.

"It's no problem." Shay shrugged as she watched Opie practically down the beer in one sip. "Ope, can I talk to you?" The dark haired woman asked softly.

Shay knew this conversation could go two ways, really good or really bad. Opie could either be relieved to have some time to himself and grieve or he could feel offended that Shay wanted to take Kenny and Ellie for a little bit. Maybe even think Shay thought he was a shitty father, but that wasn't the case at all. She just wanted what was best for everyone.

"I can't do this." Opie blurted as he ran a hand over his face. "I can't do this without Donna. How can I be a father to my kids when my wife isn't here? Donna was the one who did everything." Tears fell from Opie's eyes as he put his head in his hands.

A frown crossed Shay's face as she watched Opie break down. She quickly rushed to his side and wrapped her arms around his tall frame. Donna had been like a sister to her, but Opie had always been like a brother to her as well and seeing him break down hurt her heart.

"It's okay." Shay spoke in a comforting tone. It was such a shitty thing to say but it was the only words she had at the moment. She knew nothing was okay and it might never be.

Opie wiped his eyes and lifted his head from his hand, "Shay, could you take the kids for a little while? I think I need to leave town for a little bit."

Shay quickly nodded at Opie's request. Of course she would take Kenny and Ellie for a little bit. She would take them for as long as Opie needed her to. Shay loved those kids as much as she loved her own daughter. If Opie needed time away to figure shit out and heal then she wasn't going to stop him.

"Of course I will."

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