a week, 168 hours.

it had been a week since taehyung and jungkook started being i quote "make out buddies" which was pretty much the same than friends without benefits without the sex.

they felt good, both of them. it was a win win situation, jungkook felt loved, taehyung felt understood.

however, the things always get complicated when feelings are involved.

that taehyung had a pretty decent crush on jungkook was definitely clear but he was surely confused. he liked jungkook, sure, but he was sure that he adored Justin, the guy from tinder.

the peach haired boy was conflicted, an argument with himself once again, kyungsoo had been stressing him
all week, why taehuyng would
suddenly be so "lame" and "boring" only because he decided that he needed some time for himself.

ever since he started that thing (whatever 'that thing' was) he'd been spending a lot of time alone, only by himself.

he stopped talking to his best friend jimin, stopped talking to kyungsoo and his whole gang, the only people taehuyng eventually talked to were jin, justin or jungkook.

jungkook, only thinking about him
made his stomach twist.

not because of the younger, too pretty boy, but because of the things taehuyng did to him.

he hated himself enough already but this made him hate himself even more, that the younger boy probably felt like a pice of dirt or a doll taehyung only played with when he felt like it, which he absolutely wasn't.

if he only knew how much he helped taehyung, how he makes him forget everything, how everything erases itself like taehyung erases his mistakes in exams when he's around him.

jungkook is so strong, taehyung admires him, so much.

jungkook is what taehyung wants to be. he wants to be proud of his sexuality, proud of being who he is.

he wishes he could tell all these things to jungkook. how much he admires him, how fucking strong he is, how much he's helped taehyung, how pretty he is and how he should never listen to what other people say.

but he can't.

he always stops himself, blocks it out, bottles everything up and gives himself out as heartless, that's what he always does. it's his own method to build a wall around himself, how to protect himself.

and there he is again, on the rooftop, the wind blowing around him, cars passing by, people bickering and birds chirping, tears falling one by one, like fresh raindrops.

here is he again, crying because everything is too much, crying because he's trying to be someone he isn't, crying because he can't be who he wants to be, crying because he keeps hurting although he doesn't want to, crying because lying is his new addiction, his drug.

he doesn't want to lie but does it either way, and that's already the lie itself.

some people get addicted to drugs, nicotine,other people or even chocolate but taehyung is addicted to lying.

tears roll, drops falling, and he cries, lets it all out.

"taehyung?"

---

DEEP