Cassie took long, deep breaths and fiddled with the fabric of the white blanket that covered her legs while the doctor made an ultrasound. In the last hour, as the appointment came closer, the brunette became more and more nervous and really wanted to cancel the appointment, but she needed to know. Even if everything pointed to the fact that she was pregnant, it could still have been a false alarm⸺ which was probably just wishful thinking.

She turned her head to look at Happy, who was sitting tensely next to her, holding her hand in his, giving it reassuring squeeze as he realized how nervous Cassie was. The doctor hadn't even said much and it was too much for her already. However, she couldn't just jump up and walk out of the room as if nothing had ever happened.

“Here it is.” Dr. Summerlin pointed at the screen, showing them where their baby was. “The embryo is still small of course but there's definitely a baby. Let me check the heartbeat.”

There it was, a smile forming on Happy's lips. He never dropped his mask, which made him appear cold and emotionless, in front of people he didn't have a close relationship with. And now he was sitting in the chair, his eyes on the screen looking at his baby, smiling. Even if you couldn't see much yet, it wasn't just a small dot anymore. It had definitely already taken the form of an embryo.

“Ah, there it is. The heartbeat is strong and the embryo seems to be developing well and without any problems”, the doctor explained to both of them and smiled friendly. “You are seven weeks pregnant. Congratulations.”

Cassie reached up a hand to slightly clasp her throat after a small yelp slipped past her lips. This was definitely too much for her. Panic started to creep in as she laid there petrified with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Seeing her own baby on the screen made her panic more than she thought it would. A feeling of disorientation and dizziness spread through her body as her breathing quickened to the point where she began to hyperventilate.

“Cassie, hey.” Happy was on his feet quickly when he saw his Old Lady being close to passing out right in front of him from all the panic.

His mind was racing while worrying about his girlfriend increased drastically. He knew she didn't want the baby, that she was afraid of becoming a mother, but he didn't know it was that extreme.

He gently ran his fingers through her hair and commanded her to look at him after the doctor interrupted the ultrasound and stood patiently next to the couple, surprised at how caring the tall biker was. She had probably formed her judgment too early when the young nurse entered her examination room with a Son.

“Look at me, little girl”, he demanded again, holding her chin between his fingers.

“I⸺I can't do this, Happy”, she chocked out, her breathing still way too fast. “I'm not ready for this.”

She swore that she saw a hint of pain flashing in his eyes, which caused tears to form in her eyes. The proud, excited look on his usually stoic face when the doctor showed them the baby was burned into her mind already, causing her to feel guilty and horrible. Which immediately sent her into the next panic attack.

The brunette can't remember that she ever had a panic attack. Maybe one caused by her first joint and one after her father died, but other than that the young woman had never experienced any form of panic. She had a period of depression as a teenager after her father's death, but this panic she was feeling right now was new to her. And she could tell she hated the feeling.

Feeling so helpless and weak with a stranger in the room was embarrassing. Plus, she was afraid what Happy would think of her now.

“It's okay”, Happy assured her, his tone soothing. He pulled himself together for her, knowing full well that she was feeling absolutely shitty right now. “We're gonna talk about this later but I need you to calm down right now, little girl.”

Cassie tried her best to calm down by taking slower and deeper breaths, squeezing her legs shut since she was still naked down there. Right now she was glad a white blanket covered her lower body, otherwise it would've only made the situation weirder.

“Can I just go back to work, please?”, she asked meekly after she managed to control her panic with his help, squeezing his hand like her life was depending on it. Her nails dug painfully deep into his skin as she looked at him pleadingly. She just wanted to finish her shift, go home and crawl into her bed.

“No, I'll get you home”, he told her firmly, not leaving it open to discussion.

“I can't just leave, Hap. I only got a short break because I had this appointment”, she countered with a sigh.

“I think your partner is right, you should go home. I'll tell them you felt sick.” Dr. Summerlin chimed in and sat down on her chair again, gently patting Cassie's hand. “Dr. Knowles mentioned that you weren't quite sure if you wanted to keep the baby. In case you choose an abortion, then we only have five weeks left. It's best if you go home, sleep on it one night and come back tomorrow. Then we can try again and talk about the next steps.”

Happy let out a huff, shaking his head at the doctor's comment. Why on earth would Tara mention this to a doctor? It almost seemed like she wanted for Cassie to get an abortion.

Slowly, the brunette sat up and made sure the blanket wouldn't slip off her legs. “Okay, thank you”, was all she could say, still feeling like she was about to throw up.

The doctor nodded briefly and printed out the ultrasound pictures that she held out to Cassie but she only passed the pictures to Happy and disappeared into the small changing room where she slipped on her panties, work pants and shoes again. She still wore her work outfit and needed to change her clothes before they could leave.

Once she was done, they bid the doctor a goodbye and went back to Cassie's station where she could change into her casual clothes and get her bag. While she was gone, Happy stared down at the three pictures, the corners of his mouth twitching. The baby was healthy, another reason why he had a hard time accepting an abortion.

He had to find out why Cassie was so afraid of becoming a mother. And if they still couldn't find a solution then, he would agree to an abortion⸺ even if he didn't want to. But seeing his girlfriend suffer like that wasn't an option. That wouldn't be good for her or the baby.

⸺

Happy gave Jax a call and told him he wouldn't be able to come back to the clubhouse today. After they left the hospital, Cassie cried the whole drive back home and was only able to calm down about an hour ago. But only because Happy allowed her to smoke one of her joints. He knew it wasn't good for the baby but, it was just as bad if the mother was constantly panicking and sad.

When she fell asleep after the joint, Happy decided to give her some space in bed and made himself comfortable in the living room to watch some TV, Opie got comfortable in his dog bed next to the couch.

He flipped through the channels, but none of them caught his interest. His thoughts were on Cassie and how he could help her best. They wouldn't be able to avoid a serious conversation that would hurt either his or her feelings. If he was honest, he didn't want to be in the shoes of his girlfriend right now, who only had five weeks left to make a decision that would change her and his whole life.

As he was caught up in his thoughts, he didn't realize how much time had passed. It wasn't until the seat next to him moved as Cassie sat down that he was brought back to reality. A quick glance at the clock told him that over an hour had passed.

He studied the brunette who looked afraid to touch him. He silently placed a hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb as she pulled her legs close to her body, her delicate arms wrapped tightly around them.

Her eyes landed on the ultrasound pictures on the coffee table in front of the couch, a deep sigh broke the silence. She reached out to grab the pictures, which she just stared at for a while. There wasn't much she could or wanted to say right now, she had to deal with her feelings herself first⸺ and Happy gave her that moment.

“Good thing is that he or she seems to be healthy”, she said softly after another whole ten minutes of silence and staring at the pictures.

“It is”, Happy agreed with a grunt, shifted a little and pulled her onto his lap, one hand resting on her hip while he slipped the other behind her neck as he looked up into her beautiful blue eyes. “Why are you so afraid, little girl?”

“I just have a feeling that I'll become my own mother.” Blinking away some tears, she carefully put the pictures aside and started nervously playing with the hem of Happy's grey SAMCRO shirt.

“Why should you? Being a bad mother isn't hereditary”, he frowned, not sure why she would even think that she could end up like the whore her mother was when she was still alive.

“No, but just like her I love my freedom. I love going to parties, and yes, I love getting wasted. Weed, alcohol, dancing all night. All of this is a part of me⸺ that makes me a horrible mother because I can never be a role model for my child”, she blurted out with frustration welling in her voice.

“Little girl”, Happy started, a confused look on his face while he gently tightened the grip on the back of her neck. “No one says you can never smoke a joint again, or go to a party. Hell, that kid will grow up with SAMCRO parties and Gemma's famous family dinner's.”

Actually, she wanted to remain serious, but she chuckled slightly at Happy's words. He was right, the baby would be toughened up from an early age from all the parties at the clubhouse or at Gemma's.

“You're not wrong”, she trailed, leaving the hem of his shirt alone only to wrap her arms around his neck, almost shyly looking into his dark orbs. “What if I can't love it?  What if I don't develop maternal instincts because I didn't want a baby? That would be horrible. No kid deserves that.”

“I've watched you taking care of Lily so many times since that girl was born and I can tell you that you'd make one hell of a mom.” Happy gave her the slightest smile, his thumb massaging the right spots on her neck making her sigh softly. “I know that you'll love that baby more than anything once he or she is born.”

“But what if⸺”, she was cut off by Happy's lips stealing a kiss from her.

“But what if everything works out?”, he asked simply, kind of taking her off guard with such a simple question.

She heaved a sigh, giving him the slightest pout because she knew there was a chance everything would work out just fine. “I have a feeling that my brain is just not able to think positively right now.”

“And? Fuck that”, he shrugged slightly, looking at her intensely. “Don't let your mind drag you down. Fact is, you're gonna make an amazing mom and I can't wait to witness it.”

“That's sweet of you, that you believe in me”, she smiled, touched by his simple but meaningful words. That pretty smile of hers faded once her mind took over again. “Would you hate me if I decided to have an abortion anyway?”

Happy shook his head. Before he started this conversation, he was aware that he probably couldn't change her mind in ten minutes, or that her fears couldn't be charmed away with just a few words. But he hoped his words would at least make a difference over the next few weeks.

“I could never, little girl”, he told her. “But do me a favor, alright?”

Cassie nodded slightly, wondering what he wanted from her. But for now, to know that he wouldn't hate her if she would choose an abortion, was all that mattered. “What favor?”

“Wait a few more weeks. Give yourself some time to make sure an abortion is really what you want.” Happy glanced away to hide the emotions in his eyes. With her, he could allow himself to be vulnerable, yet he didn't want her to feel guilty if the abortion would be her final choice.

“Happy, look at me, please.” Carefully, she clasped his face in her hands and made him turn his head back. Smiling weakly, she took in the emotions flickering in his eyes. It was hard to tell what he felt, but she knew he feared the decision she would make.

“Don't”, he growled lowly. His grip tightening on her hip and him trying to lower his head, showed how uncomfortable he felt every time he couldn't keep his stoic face and hide away all his emotions.

Cassie slowly let go of his face, respecting that he needed a moment to collect himself. His chest was heaving slowly but heavily, a sign that he really needed to control himself not to let his emotions take over him.

“Look, I can't promise you that I'll keep it, not after the panic I felt today after seeing the baby for the first time but”, she paused, intertwining her fingers. “But I'll give myself some time to really think about it. If I choose the abortion, I can understand if you don't want this relationship any⸺”

Happy's head snapped up, his eyes bore into hers. “You better stop that nonsense, woman”, he warned seriously. “You're my Old Lady, that means you have my back even if I might don't like some choices you're gonna make in the future.”

Her mouth stood open, ready to say something but not a single word slipped past her lips. Instead, she looked at him gratefully and placed her lips on his, giving him the most loving and longing kiss. A thousand words couldn't describe how grateful she was to have a man like Happy by her side.

⸺

authors note; hey guys! I just wanted to promote my amazing friend's book here. She's an amazing writer and I'm sure you're gonna love her stories. If you like to read about poly relationships, you should check out her story 'Graveyards'. It's a Happy x OC x Kozik story. You can find that story on her profile GhostlyTeaCups. 🖤