No matter how tired he was, Happy didn't give up looking for his Old Lady. Searching literally every corner in Charming, he had to accept that he wouldn't find her this way. Every diner that was still open he had checked out and asked if anyone had seen a young brunette come in.

Surprised at himself how worried he could be about a person⸺ but this was about his Old Lady after all. Who was also pregnant, desperate and confused. Not a good mix.

Cassie was known to drown her sorrows with weed, alcohol, selfharm, or/and excessive partying. He had known her for almost two decades now and knew how she behaved in such situations.

In the early hours of the morning, after he was reluctantly about to drive back home, his cell phone rang. It was Jax who gave him the all clear and reassured him that Cassie showed up at the clubhouse about an hour ago. He only knew that because he had spent the night there.

Happy wasted no time straddling his bike and arrived at the clubhouse fifteen minutes later since he had been nearby anyway. Exhausted and irritated, he went into the clubhouse, his gaze landed directly on his girlfriend, who was sitting at the bar with a glass of coke, her eyes fixed on the counter while she supported her head with one of her hands.

"You can't just fucking leave without telling me where you're going in the middle of the night", he snarled angrily as he grabbed her by her arm, more gentle this time, and made her look at him. "What the hell were you thinking, woman?"

"I needed a moment to myself. I'm sorry if I worried you", she mumbled, her soft voice barely audible. "I was just driving around town until I ended up here. I didn't get myself, or well, the baby, in any danger. I promise."

Happy just grunted and let go of her arm before taking a seat on the chair next to her, his eyes still on her. Her words weren't slurred and her pupils looked perfectly normal. This was good. Maybe he just should've put more trust into her. Even if she wasn't happy to be pregnant, deep down he knew she could never harm her own child⸺ even if there probably wasn't even a heartbeat yet.

"You still could've answered at least one of my calls", he growled lowly, still not pleased that she had ignored his many calls and text messages, yet he tried to understand how she felt.

The brunette nodded slightly, her eyes eventually looked right into his dark ones. Besides the anger she saw in them, she didn't miss the concern reflect in them.

"It won't happen again", she said meekly, rubbing her clammy hands, a remorseful look on her face. "Where you really this worried?"

The tiredness was still written all over his face, which made him look ten years older. She knew that he hadn't slept since yesterday morning and that she was the reason why he had searched town and was now completely exhausted. Feelings of guilt crept into her system and she just wanted to hug him right now, but she didn't dare.

While she was driving through town she had their conversation, that he wanted the child and she didn't, always in the back of her mind. Replaying the words over and over again. She still didn't want the baby, she was too afraid that she could become like her own mother. She never had a good role model, her mother had always been selfish and only thought of herself. She and her brothers were only born because Ed Connor always wanted children. In the end, Ed took care of all his children until he died.

Pregnancy and becoming a mother scared the shit out of her and she had no idea how to deal with all those emotions. It was always her plan to never become a mother. She loved her job as a nurse, which she finally got back and didn't want to give up again. Then living life as it was, just being spontaneous, wouldn't work anymore with a child.

She also felt way too young at twenty five, even though many by that age already had three children. Her life would change abruptly, she had to give up everything she liked. Weed, parties, alcohol. If she had always wanted to be a mother, she would probably be beaming now, instead she felt constricted and anxious. But the look in Happy's eyes when she told him she didn't want to keep the baby had been almost unbearable for her. That's why she had fled in the first place, to avoid his hurt look, at least for a few hours.

"What do you think, Cassie?", he scoffed, feeling a bit offended by her question. "You're my Old Lady, carrying my child. How could I not have been worried?"

"Yeah, that was a stupid question", she let out a tired sigh and took a sip of her coke to moisten her dry mouth. Slowly she felt tiredness coming over her. Her bones hurt from sitting all night and she just wanted to snuggle under her blanket and get comfortable in her bed. But she also knew that the two of them had some things to talk about.

Happy heaved a sigh when he saw how tired Cassie was and ran a hand over his tired face before he stood up and helped her to her feet. "You need to get some sleep, and I need some sleep, too."

She looked up at him with doe eyes and nodded slightly, relieved that she didn't have to have a long, serious conversation right now. It was probably better if they both got some sleep.

He slid his hand down her back and led her towards the dorms, nodding gratefully to Jax, who was sitting on one of the worn leather sofas and had been keeping an eye on Cassie the whole time.

No words were spoken between the couple when they went to bed. But what surprised Cassie was that Happy still snaked his arm around her to pull her against him, whispering 'good night, little girl' into her ear, even though it was the early morning hours. If she wasn't so tired, she would've probably teared up at those simple words. After she simply told him she wasn't going to keep the child, he still treated her like he always did⸺ with love and respect. Even though he had every right to be angry with her.

⸺

Before her shift, Tara made sure to stop by at the clubhouse. She had left the kids in the car and had asked Gemma, who had been in the office, if she could keep an eye on them. If she wanted to save her marriage she had to get along with the matriarch, too.

But this time she had an argument that could really help her. At least she could prove to Jax that she was serious and was really trying to be a part of his club.

Unusually cheerful, she stalked through the door and greeted those who were already eating breakfast. So far, only Chibs, Bobby, and Jax sat at a table and had the prospect bring them fresh coffee.

She didn't miss the annoyed expression that formed on Jax's face as she entered the room. However, not even that could ruin her mood. She knew she had made mistakes and as promised she wanted to make things right. She had started with Cassie, whose car she had noticed outside.

"Hey, can we talk for a minute?", she asked the blonde, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know about what. Don't you have to be at work? And where are the boys?", he asked, raising his brow as he looked up at his wife.

"They're in the car. Gemma is watching them", the doctor explained. "Please, just five minutes."

Chibs and Bobby exchanged a skeptical look, but eventually got up, grabbed their coffee mugs, and sat down at the bar so Jax and Tara could have some quiet time to talk.

"Alright, what do you wanna talk about?", Jax asked, blowing on his steaming coffee before taking a sip.

"Well, you wanted me to prove that I could contribute to the club and that I really wanted to try and get comfortable with your lifestyle. I know how important it is to you that I get along with the other Old Lady's", Tara paused, a small smile appearing on her lips. "And I helped Cassie yesterday and offered her a shoulder to lean on."

"As you should", Jax stated with a frown when his wife acted like she did something extraordinary. "What did you help her with?"

He couldn't deny that he was curious. When Cassie showed up tired and sad hours ago, he really wanted to know what's going on. But he didn't want to question the young woman and just give her the peace she needed in that moment.

Tara hesitated for a moment. Cassie's request that to not tell anyone about her pregnancy for now was floating around in Tara's mind. However, it was only her husband she would talk to about it, so she thought it was okay.

"She's pregnant but doesn't want the child. The poor girl couldn't stop crying because she felt so bad about wanting an abortion", the brunette sighed softly and took a seat across from Jax, shrugging slightly. "I told her that it was okay, that it's still her body. I think she felt relieved that I didn't judge her."

Jax eyed his wife, not quite sure if she should even share this news with him. He had a feeling that Cassie wouldn't quite agree with that, which in turn infuriated him. Because that would show once again that Tara knew no bounds when it came to her advantages.

But knowing that Cassie was pregnant and didn't want the baby explained why she'd turned up at the clubhouse so upset a few hours ago. And Happy didn't look happy at all either, so he assumed Happy wanted the baby. This was a complicated situation but none of his or anyone else's business.

"And what do you want from me now?", he asked after a while, still not sure what his wife wanted from him. She gave another Old Lady a shoulder to cry on. Yes, it was nice, but that's the way it always should've been.

"I⸺I", Tara stuttered. "I thought you'd be happy to hear that she let me help her. I mean, that shows that I've changed. I gave her helpful advice and even offered her my help."

"You know what, Tara." Jax leaned slightly over the table, his arms crossed as he gazed intently at his wife. "If you were serious about this, you wouldn't come to me at the first opportunity and brag about how nice and helpful you were. As an Old Lady it's normal that you support the other Old Lady's. Just go to work, Tara, I got things to do."

Tara clenched her jaw, having a hard time to stay calm. Normally she would tell him what was on her mind and that he couldn't talk to her like that. But that would just be further proof to him that she hadn't changed. Snorting, she grabbed her bag and stomped out of the clubhouse, slamming the door behind her. No matter what she would do, she would probably never be good enough and neither Jax nor the others would ever be able to fully trust her.

⸺

After lying awake in bed for a while, noticing that Happy was slowly waking up, she turned in his arms and tentatively, almost cautiously, wrapped her arm around his waist while burying her face in the crook of his neck and inhaling his scent.

He just grumbled while trying to wake up, his arm still under Cassie's head and the other wrapped around her body. It didn't bother him that she was looking for his nearness, the last thing he wanted was to fight with her.

"Morning", she mumbled, shuffling even closer.

Again, he just grunted in response and let the tips of his fingers ghost up and down her back, enjoying the feeling of her soft skin. For a brief moment he felt the need to put his hand on her stomach, but he didn't. First he had to know if she would stick to her decision. If so, he wouldn't even try to bond with the child.

"Can we talk, Hap?" Uncertainty wavered in her voice, he even thought he heard it break. No matter how tired he was right now, he shifted a little further away to be able to look at her.

"Not sure what to say", he rasped, his voice still hoarse and extra deep like every morning. "I don't want you to get an abortion but I can't dictate what you do with your body."

Her heart stumbled over its own rhythm, a tight feeling in her chest like someone was squeezing her lungs. Emotionally exhausted, she closed her eyes and sighed deeply before opening her eyes again and looking at him.

"Do you really want the baby?", she asked eventually.

Happy really tried to think again, to find a reason why they shouldn't keep the baby, but there just wasn't one. Even his dangerous life couldn't stop him from wanting to be a father. He knew that he would protect his family, Cassie and their child, with his life.

Finally, he nodded in response to her question, placing a hand on her cheek and sliding the tip of his thumb over her bottom lip. "I love you, little girl. I know I don't say it often enough but I want you to know that I'll always take care of you. And if you give the baby a chance, you can be sure that I will always be there for my child, too."

"But it's not that easy", she whispered, her lips began to tremble. This was one fucking hard decision she had to make. But she knew she couldn't do this to him and take away what he wanted.

"I know, little girl", he said sympathetically without putting any pressure on her. He knew that forcing her to keep the child would only make things worse. No matter what her decision would be, he had to accept it.

The brunette quickly wiped the back of her hand over her eyes, keeping the tears from escaping her eyes. She took a shaky breath and covered most of her body with the blanket before snuggling against Happy. Warmth spread through her as his arms wrapped her in a tight hug, making her instantly feel at home. Because he was her home.

"I'll keep it", she barely whispered, her face so close to his chest that her warm, shaky breath hit his skin. "It's not the baby's fault we weren't careful enough."

"Are you sure?", the SAA inquired cautiously.

"Yeah", she swallowed softly, yet she gave him her best posed smile. "I'm sure."

She already knew deep down a few hours ago that she was going to keep the baby. She couldn't bring herself to smoke or drink. As she drove around town, she made sure to stay in her car and drive carefully so nothing would happen that could harm the baby. And yet she felt such a deep sadness and fear that she wanted nothing but to run away.

But as Happy looked down at her with nothing but relief and gratitude and cupped her face into her hands, she couldn't help but feel excited about the new chapter in their life. Still, she was afraid she wouldn't be able to form a bond with the child she would only keep to make the man she loved happy. Which, of course, she wouldn't tell him.

The kiss, filled with love, hunger and passion, showed her how excited Happy really was that she was keeping the child. Returning the kiss as if everything was alright, she tried everything to hide the tears that stung her eyes.

⸺

authors note; I know, I know, most of the time it's Happy who doesn't want the kids in stories but this time I wanted it the other way around and have the woman struggle more with the pregnancy. I promise I'm doing my best not to make him look too soft but I love a man that is rough but can show feelings towards his woman. 😌