"Okay so she marries Rochester?" Sian asked, receiving a nod. "That's after she was proposed to by John Rivers." Juyeon smiled as he talked.

He was clearly an innocent soul. His grin as he talked lovingly about the classic book was soothing, it was comforting to know society didn't stop him from being so open about his love of Jane Eyre. Everything about him was open, his mind, his aura. Sian was glad that he agreed to work on their project during their lunch break.

Things were still awkward for him and little sushi. And the looks of concern and sad attempts from his friends to fill the silent pauses wasn't helping. He knew they were just trying to help, but all he really needs is time. The biggest issue he had was the looks from Shi Yi, unsure if he was glaring at him, admiring him, or just staring into his soul. To get away from it all, after his English class, he approached his partner and asked if they could work on it for a bit, luckily receiving a yes. It was easy to forget and focus when he was doing his work, having to listen and read intently as he wasn't the best at English.

Maybe he should stop staring. Xiao Shi Yi prides himself on being a cool, mysterious man. However, the lack of interaction and communication with Sian was making his head go crazy. Wanting to grab ahold of him and shake the stupid out. He was being silly, of course Justin didn't mean it. Who on earth would think dating Sian would be gross? No one he knows. It would be nice. The relationship would be full of honesty because the latter was candid, and you'd be loved to no end. You'd wake up to soft giggles, comfort him through silent tears. He'll smile at you with pearly whites, and tell you he loved you in subtle ways. Sian lives by the saying 'it's the little things that matter the most'. That's why he plumps up pillows before someone takes their seat, it's why he always leaves sweets at the bottom of his packet so he can offer them to someone else, it's why he brings out a tray of everyone's favourites snacks and drinks (pouring each one a cup) when they all hang out.

Eleven likes to think he's the only one who's noticed that.

There was a time in Shi Yi's life where the younger was just on his last nerve, all the time. When he saw him attached to his own dada's hip, when he cried over a dropped ice cream, when he stupidly tripped down the stairs and scraped his chin. But in the back of his mind something has always told him to help him up, to wipe his tear, to just smile warmly as his friend adored his dad. His biggest regret was the nickname 'Crybaby'. It soon became a phenomenon, and he could see the hurt in Sian's eyes when people muttered it, or shamelessly shouted it. He hated every moment that he has shouted profanities to him, everytime he's cursed his name, said or thought anything negative.

Because at the end of the day Sian was his best friend.

"Shi Yi, hyung." A soft whine sounded out behind him, turning away from the slot in the bookshelf where he had a perfect view of the English duo. "Hey baby, did you eat?" One thing he would never regret was asking this beautiful boy to be his boyfriend, despite it clearly taking a slight toll on his friendship with Sian.

Little sushi was the best thing to ever happen to him, but he was sure he was the best thing to happen to anyone. His beaming smile and love filled eyes were enough to make him drop to a knee and pull out a ring. There's no definition of beauty, but it's someone's spirit that allows it to surface. And Justin's spirit was light and soothing. Resulting in delicate features: a button nose, soft pouty lips that shine brightly in the light, innocent doe eyes, and glowing skin. He was usually described as an angel, one with porcelain skin. Justin was smooth, like a baby, it was satisfying to rub a thumb across his cheek and stare into his welcoming eyes. A sense of calmness radiated from him, but he was passionate too. He doesn't run, he sprints. He doesn't like, he loves.

His angelic voice and timid demeanour, his perfect posture, and the fact that he had to cutely look up to meet his eyes was the icing on the cake. To date him was to win the lottery, it was as if he had saved the world in a past life, maybe he saved the president's life and this was his reward. Perfection. He loved him. When he adorned his favourite skirt from his wide collection, when he got a bit of ice cream on his nose when he was excitedly licking it, when he placed a soft kiss against his cheek before they slept, when his arms tightened around him subconsciously as he slept.

"You're beautiful." Shi Yi couldn't help but let out, being blessed with a radiant smile from his partner. "Thank you, you're very handsome too, you know?" Small arms wrapped around his neck loosely, to which his own went to Justin's waist. "I own a few mirrors." A soft kick was delivered to his shin, but he couldn't look down or move his arms to soothe it, as his body was entranced. Eyes locked to one another's; arms beginning to tighten, which unforgiven strength.

"Can I kiss you?" Shi Yi asked, hand lifting to stroke his boyfriend's cheek, a shy nod following. He leant down, but was met half way by plump lips touching his own. It wasn't the first time they kissed, but the fireworks were the same. The way Justin moved against him proved it wasn't their first, or even their second. They knew exactly what to do. Eleven knowing to push down on the nape of the latter's neck to have a short moan squeak out. Justin knew to purposely breathe heavily and squeeze his boyfriends waist tightly to give him a feeling of dominance. But Shi Yi's tongue would enter his mouth and he'd be putty in his arms, and he loved it. Loved the comforting chuckles, attractive grunts, and soft strokes up and down his waist. This was a semi public place, and the only one still seemingly aware of that was Eleven, as he turned to cover the other's body against the bookcase, hoping that (from the view of the librarian) it looked like he was innocently reading.

He really does love him.

✰ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ 💙 ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ✰

Sian didn't want to admit it but he always felt like the least important kid in their wide circle of family and friends. His fathers were loved and cherished by a lot of them, Kun was an authority figure and a shoulder to cry on for lots of the men, and Hansol was just entertaining to watch (having funny and odd habits and mannerisms). However, Sian never really felt like anyone, bar Xiaojun, cherished him. In technical sense, he was nothing to them.

A son of a friend.

"You doing anything now?" Juyeon asked politely as walked out of the school gates together. "Got a family thing, well, yeah guess it's a family thing." He rubbed his neck awkwardly, feeling stupid for questioning the premise of the gathering. Everyone was meeting at the Park-Zhong household to celebrate the recent engagement of Jiro and Chan, which was a long time coming. "Need a ride, I wouldn't want you to walk on your own." The taller gestures to his sleek, newly washed, car that was parked effortlessly in front of them. "Well it's up near the gold bridge, that's probably out of your way." The gold bridge signified riches, if you lived near there you were another level of privileged, of course with the wealth of the Zhong family and Jisung's well earned money, the family could of bought the adjacent house if they wanted.

Juyeon let out a quick laugh. "I actually live up there too, the Parks, right? I see you there everyone now and again."

"Oh, I'm sorry, well I guess if you're going that way anyway I ca-"

"Sian!" A loud voice bellowed from across the car park, heavy footsteps following the cry of the boy's name. An arm sliding to hold his waist, a familiar rough hand gripping the shirt. A hand which usually grabs his collar in anger, now holding him protectively to his chest. Sian awkwardly stood in the now uncomfortable position. "I can take it from here Juyeon." It wasn't a suggestion, just a harsh statement that caused the mood around them to become sour. Eleven wasn't here to take any objections, or even to wait for an okay, storming away quickly to his car. Not as impressive as Juyeon's, which did not irritate Shi Yi at all.

"What the fuck Shi Yi?"

"Listen to me idiot, you can't just grab people and throw them into cars and abandon their fri-"

"Hey!"

Eleven didn't listen grabbing the boys seatbelt and bulking him in, almost growling in his face. Spitting a quick 'shut up' at him. "Oh, he can speak now." Sian teased, scoffing as the other just turned to start the car, ignoring the complaints and insults being thrown at him. He will admit the slight teasing tone made his face turn hot, embarrassed at the brashness of his actions. "Why were you even there, where's Sushi?" He finally stopped the string of curses that he was throwing at the boy. "I didn't want you to be stupid and walk all the way, you're an idiot and think you can walk two and a half miles for the sake of not being a burden, refusing to ask for a ride."

Sian admitted to himself that Shi Yi cared for him in a different way to everyone else. Justin got a blatantly protective and loving comfort from the other, so disgustingly cute Sian swears it's given him cavities. However, the latter got the Eleven that hurled insults at him as he wrapped him up in a coat when he forgot his. Claiming he didn't want to help, but had to. No one believed it, not even Shi Yi, but no one mentioned it (as long as he was helping him). Like when the burned his legs, Eleven only gently muttered under his breath to him, refusing to outwardly show he cared. But he did, that's all Sian could ever ask for.

"Hey, we need to talk too. I, uh, are you okay? I know you've been avoiding us and I know it's because of Sushi. You can talk to me, I know we never actually do."

They don't. Never about serious topics.

"I'm fine, just need the whole thing to calm down a bit."

"Oh, come on, you think I believe that's it. You wear your emotions with pride, you always have and I am not letting you stop. It is something I admire about you Sian. You're so mature, please, here." They were nearly there, so close to turning around the corner and reaching the house. But no, Shi Yi has pulled over, the car becoming quiet. "Wanna know how'd I'd feel? If that happened to me?" Eleven add feelings, god no, he was already head over heels in love with him. For the taller boy to admit any form of emotion, to relate to him in anyway would break him. He will not cry, he is sick of crying.

"I would be devastated. It's a little word, some might think it doesn't mean shit. But it does, it means so much. I would be angry, lash out and push people away if they even mentioned it to me. I wouldn't know what to do, because I am so bad with my feelings, so bad. I would need you, because I can't even, fuck this is hard. I can't voice how I feel, and for some reason you can take one look at me and know. You always help me Sian, please, let me help you."

A sob erupted from the silent boy, hands covering his mouth to quieten himself. But they were pushed away and his cries were voiced out loud, arms pulling him into an embrace, while undoing his seatbelt to hold him closer. Shi Yi tucked him into the crevis of his neck, jacket getting wet, but forcing the boy to overlook it. "I-It just, it's S-Sushi, he never says stuff like that." Eleven agreed, it was out of character for the youngest of the three, he had no bad bones in his body. Yet he hurt Sian. "I know, I know. See you can voice your feelings so well."

"It's okay, I know you need this. You always need a good cry baby."