If you had told me, when I woke up this morning, that I would be battling a casino owner, a murderous father, a sexy bartender, a yandere, and a dude that I thought was my friend, along with Glitch, a VERY sexy Del Taco cashier, and a genius, I would've thought you were insane.

But alas, that's where we are.

Smart Hulk had shown us to a nearby weapons convenience store, where we bought guns, swords, and other tools that would aid us in fighting Quackity and his gang. I ended up buying a sword for myself. It was similar to Techno's blade, but slightly shorter in length and far less decorative. It got the job done.

After we had bought our weapons and prepared ourselves for battle, we commenced our slow, badass walk to Las Nevadas. Epic rock music had been blasting from some nearby place, adding to the effect.

It was time to take back what was rightfully ours. Nothing could stop us now.

I slammed my foot against the door, breaking it down, and ran into the casino. Moonlight streamed into the room, illuminating our immediate surroundings, but not much further than that. Glitch, Techno, and Smart Hulk all walked inside, looking around.

"Goddamn it," Glitch swore. "I can't see anything."

"Allow me to assist you, my fellow comrades," Smart Hulk said, walking over to a nearby large, white, and obvious light switch. I now understood why they called him 'Smart' Hulk.

He flicked the light switch up, and the lights on the ceiling shone down upon five menacing figures. Quackity, holding a gun in one hand, Purple Guy, with a knife at the ready, Ballora, her menacing looks merely adding to her beauty, Squidward, staring at Glitch with a smile on his face, and Ennard, who looked rather nervous, yet determined. All five of them, save for the latter, were glaring at us with unbridled hatred.

"ENNARD YOU BASTARD!" I screeched. "WHY DID YOU BETRAY US?!"

"He's my father!" Ennard shouted back, pointing at Purple Guy. "I couldn't abandon him the moment after I found him!"

"But he's an ASSHOLE!" I retorted. "He works for that THIEF! That automatically makes him a terrible person! I knew you all were AWFUL people the moment I saw you, cause you worked for that shithead in a BEANIE!"

"Oh really?" Ballora interrupted, watching me intently, her Canadian accent growing thicker as she shouted. "You didn't think I was such an awful person when you were flirting with me at the bar-"

"Oh, shut up, you over-glorified blueberry!" Techno shouted. I burst into laughter. "She wants nothing to do with you, she said so herself!"

"What makes you think she wants anything to do with you?"

Techno paused for a moment, regaining his composure. During this silence, Squidward decided to say something.

"Glitch!" he cried. "I love you! I'll do anything for you! Why won't you love me back?"

"Leave me alone, Squidward!" Glitch demanded. "I'd rather never watch Gravity Falls ever again than be with you!"

A mixture of overlapping angry conversations filled the casino. I was shouting at Ennard for betraying us, Techno was arguing with Ballora about me, for some reason, and Squidward was pleading with Glitch. Smart Hulk and Purple Guy didn't know what to do, so they began shouting at each other too.

Suddenly, a blast from a gun startled us all, and we turned to face Quackity, who was aiming his weapon at the ceiling.

"For God's sake, will you all shut up?!" he demanded. Everyone did so.

"Wonder, you brought a bad name on this casino the moment you stepped foot in here! You have done SO much fucking damage to everything we've been building all a-fucking-long! We are trying to create the greatest casino in the world, and you're fucking it all up!"

He paused for a moment and sighed.

"Listen. I don't care how long it takes, or what I have to do for it to happen. I'm going to fucking kill you. I'm going to kill you, and kill your friends, for everything you've done. These carpets will be stained red with your blood- even though they are already red."

"I just have one question, Quackity." I said. "Do you really think you're enough to kill us? Even though you outnumber us 5-4, and you know your surroundings far better than us, do you really think you can win this?"

"Oh I do." Quackity was determined. "You know what? Let's fucking find out you son of a bitch-"

I pulled out my sword, holding it in a heroic stance like I've seen others do in the movies. All nine of us emit a war cry, and we all charge forward, to start the war.