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❛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘ. ᴘᴀɴ ᴇғғᴇᴄᴛ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴀ ғᴜᴛɪʟᴇ ᴇxᴇʀᴄɪsᴇ
ɪɴ ʀᴇsᴛʀᴀɪɴᴛ ꒱


❝ NOTHING STARTS THE DAY
LIKE  A LITTLE THREATENING ❞

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If there was one thing that Deianira absolutely hated— besides The Umbrella Academy's Number One— it was waking up at the god-forsaken hour of eight a.m.. She hadn't had to wake up so early since they'd given their father the pills all those years ago. Sure, Marcus could be a hard-ass at the worst of times, but at least he understood her need for beauty sleep— even if he was constantly on her case about "getting to training on time" or whatever. The only reason she had agreed to join Ben, Fei and Christopher was because the other Number One was who they'd be targeting.

The trio stood out of sight as her sister's birds watched the oaf-like man jog through the park. At first, he was completely oblivious to the crows that followed his path as he greeted passers-by cheerfully. Deianira scoffed as she observed him. "He doesn't have two braincells to rub together to make a thought. How has he not gotten himself killed yet?"

Ben shot her an amused look. "Patience, Deia. I've already told Fei that you'll be in charge of killing him should he step out of line."

The curly-haired woman gave her siblings a savage smile that made her white teeth glint against the darker tone of her skin. "Wonderful. My morning just improved tenfold."

By this time, even the stupid ape-man had realized that the crows weren't acting as crows should. His bright expression slid off his face as he stopped mid-jog to look around the park with apprehension. Fei allowed her birds to lift off the branches they'd been sitting on and their raucous calls filled the air. The Umbrella Academy's Number One took off at a much faster pace in the opposite direction yelling "shit!" all the while.

Christopher flew ahead of his siblings to trail after the man, who only ran faster at the sight of him. As he looked back in horror, his large body slammed into a light pole and his extra bulk caused the entire metal structure to give under his weight. The lightbulb burst as it hit the ground and he fell hard on the grass with a grunt of discomfort.

As the oaf began to get to his feet again, Deianira struck. Her red power wove around his legs and lifted him upwards so that his entire world spun on its axis. While she didn't have gravity manipulation like Sloane did, she could use her energy to momentarily lift other things (and people) into the air. She smirked down at his slowly-reddening face. "How's it hangin'?"

Her siblings stepped up beside her and studied the man with unimpressed looks on their faces. Oaf was a perfectly acceptable term for him as— despite their hostile greeting— he smiled at them happily as recognition dawned. He waved in greeting. "Oh. Hey."

Ben wasn't too pleased by his unaffected air and quickly knocked out the larger man.

☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

Sometime later, the quartet plus their prisoner returned to The Sparrow Academy's home. Sloane met them at the entrance and she took over Deianira's control of the oaf-man. Together, they made their way to the infirmary. One of Sloane's hands was occupied by the glowing white of her power that held their captive aloft while the other held her girlfriend's hand. They exchanged a brief kiss—Ben would get on their case if they made him wait— before they made their way to put him in Grace's care.

As they walked, Sloane glanced over at the brunette to take in her current mood. "So, how did pick-up go?"

Deianira gave her an amused look. "You make it sound like we just retrieved our three-year-old son from daycare for the first time rather than acquiring a hostage."

The blonde smiled at her girlfriend's unusual light-heartedness. "I take it that it went well, then?"

"Nothing starts the day like a little threatening," she decided with a nod. "I can only hope that it will improve from here." She cast a suggestive look in Sloane's direction as her gaze pointedly flicked down to the other woman's lips.

"Let's see what Ben wants first before I make you any promises, troublemaker."

She let out an indignant sound of protest. "Troublemaker? Sloany, do you really think so little of me? If anything, I consider myself more of a devil's advocate. It's easier to make a decision if you look at it from all angles— even the unpopular ones."

Sloane rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "I used troublemaker because if I let you go any further down the path of bribery then you'd be the only one who could convince me to skip our meeting entirely."

"Oh," Deianira said, sounding mollified. "Well if that's the case then I'll happily take the title of troublemaker. However, maybe you'll consider calling me something else instead. . ." she trailed off her last sentence teasingly.

"What did you have in mind?" the blonde asked in a similarly playful tone.

"That's just something you're going to have to think about for a little while," she replied airily. Grace had come— probably due to their brother's prompting— and had begun to tend to the unconscious man. Her presence indicated that it was time to join their siblings and that their attitudes needed to be adjusted towards a more. . . professional manner. Deianira tugged her to a stop to lean over to place a suave kiss on her girlfriend's cheek.

She smirked as Sloane's cheeks turned pink before she pushed open the door to meet their siblings at the table. Fei, Jayme and Ben had already taken their seats while Alphonso was hunting through the fruit bowl for a skewer that met his preference. Sloane quickly distanced herself from her girlfriend— mostly due to her fluster rather than the embarrassment of being seen together— and began to make a smoothie. Deianira took a seat next to Ben and started to pile her plate with food.

Fei watched her with a raised eyebrow. "Are you trying to feed an army, Deianira?"

The brunette shrugged. "My internal clock is off since you guys made me get up at a god-forsaken hour. It's your fault that my stomach will be a bottomless pit for the rest of the day. Plus I need a carbo load for the big race later tonight."

"Race?" Alphonso repeated as he looked up from his fruit search. "What race?"

Ben sent her a rather disgusted look and ignored his brother. "Can you think about something besides your primal needs for ten seconds? Marcus is missing. We need a game plan for how we're going to address our hostage."

Deianira waved an untroubled hand in his direction. "Oh, spare me, Ben-er-ino. You're only saying that because you're jealous of all the action that I'm getting. As for our hostage, let's just threaten him with bodily dismemberment. That'll get him to talk."

Sloane finished putting her ingredients in her blender and paused to counter her girlfriend's words. "I think it might be better if we try an education of love."

The brunette turned around in her chair to give the other woman a look of disbelief. "Education of love?" she repeated incredulously. "What sort of mumbo-jumbo are you talking about?"

"I'm just saying that we might catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

"Yeah, and if you speak softly and carry a big stick, you'll go far. There's more than one way to skin a cat."

Rather than sparing her an answer, the blonde started up the blender and let her response speak for itself. Fei chuckled at their exchange and Sloane's passive-aggressiveness. She had made it her mission to get Deianira to take a softer approach for this sort of thing but, needless to say, it was proving to be a futile effort. The siblings continued to bicker in a companionable fashion with some of their comments earning a few laughs here and there. Almost twenty minutes later, the door banged open to reveal their captive holding a mop in a defensive manner.

Deianira wasn't impressed. "If you're looking to clean up something, I'm pretty sure Sloany spilled some of her smoothie on the floor."

The blender's whirring came to an abrupt stop as the blonde narrowed her eyes at the other woman. "I did not!"

Alphonso ignored them as he finally stepped away from the fruit bowl and towards his seat. "Ah, there he is!"

Fei gestured to the table with her free hand— the other was occupied by mixed nuts. "Please, join us."

Their captive continued to look hesitant, so Ben chimed in, "it's okay. Nobody's gonna hurt you."

"For now," the brunette muttered. She shoved a piece of cantaloupe into her mouth and chewed on it grumpily.

"Smoothie?" Sloane asked as she held out her concoction to him.

"Oh," he said. His tone was a little too friendly for Deianira's liking. "Yeah, thanks."

"You must be starving," Fei remarked.

The man hesitated at the head of the table. "Oh. . ." His answer faded and changed as he took in the hostile glare that Deianira was sending him. "I-I shouldn't." He paused. "Is that cashew butter?"

"Every butter you could think of," the brunette answered coolly. "Cashew butter, almond butter, sunflower butter, tahini, Brazil nut." She gave him an innocent smile. "You don't have a severe nut allergy, do you? Here, try some peanut butter."

He eyed her warily but accepted it. ". . .Thanks. Uh, now that you mention it. . . I am feeling a little but, uh, peckish, actually."

"Help yourself," Alphonso offered as he ate his yogurt.

"Thanks." The ape-man smiled at the suggestion and took the spot across from Ben. Good. Hopefully she could make him lose his appetite if she glowered at him hard enough. Unfortunately, he seemed to be oblivious as he drank the smoothie that Sloane had given him. "Wow."

Despite the fact that Ben could be as much of a hard-ass as Marcus sometimes, there was a reason why he was Deianira's second-favorite sibling: he wasted no time in getting right to the point. "So. We know you're Number One, but we haven't been formally introduced yet. I'm Ben, Number Two."

"It is so good to see you again, buddy."

"Why does everyone keep looking at me like that?"

"Because you've been dead for fifteen years," the oaf explained.

"Dead? What do you mean, dead?"

The Sparrow siblings paused in their meals to pay more attention to the conversation. The Umbrella's Number One smiled uncomfortably. "It's kind of a long story."

"Anyway, I'm Fei, Number Three."

"Alphonso, cuatro."

"Sloane. Five."

"I'm Jayme, six."

"That's Christopher, of course. Number Seven."

Deianira smirked. "You're not going to introduce me too, Ben-er-ino? I'm Deianira, Number Eight. Sloane's girlfriend. I took out your weak Number Eight before she could even participate in our fun little scuffle."

Their captive's expression hardened. "Our Number Eight isn't weak. You just caught her off guard. If you'd seen what she'd done uh, earlier yesterday you wouldn't have been able to defeat her like that."

The brunette reached forward and took a handful of mixed nuts from the bowl that sat on the table. "Oh, I'm sure I would've had so much more fun crushing her had she been at full strength. Tell me, has she gone into a coma yet? 'Cause that was my intention." She gave him a sarcastic smile and popped some of the nuts into her mouth.

"I also have a question," Ben spoke up. "What's with those heart-eyes that she was giving me during our first interaction? They were creeping me the hell out."

"Heart-eyes?" the oaf echoed with a frown. "That's not right— she's in love with Five, not you. But. . . whatever the look was. . ." He sighed and began to look uncomfortable again. "It has to do with your death. We. . . I placed too much blame on her. It was all of our faults, not just hers, and we didn't handle it very well. It was easier just to blame one person than accept the fact that we all failed you. I think the way we treated Alexa in the aftermath was uncalled for but we didn't know any better at the time. Still. . . at least one of us should've been there for her." He cleared his throat before he hastily changed the subject. "Wait. What about, um, Number One?"

During Luther's explanation, Ben frowned at the new information that was given. Maybe it hadn't been heart-eyes after all, but. . . well, he didn't really know. The Umbrella's Number Eight meant nothing to him so he didn't bother to dwell on it any longer. Fei resumed their plan to recover Marcus: "what about him?"

"Where is he?"

Ben wasted no time in stabbing his knife into the table, causing Luther to gasp with shock. "That's what we'd like to know."

He leaned forward. "Are we playing a game?"

Deianira's brother dropped his knife and copied their captive's stance. "Whatever game the Umbrellas are playing, you're gonna lose! You took our Number One so we took you."

"Wait, we took Marcus? Why would we do that?"

"Act of war?" Jayme suggested. "Death wish?"

"The last time we saw him, he was with your sister."

"Which one?"

Deianira scoffed. "Well, not your Number Eight, obviously."

The ape-man— surprisingly— seemed to have the guts to glare at her comment as Fei answered him. "The little one with big powers."

"Vanya? Huh."

"Well, I gotta say, it does not sound like Vanya to go and kidnap anybody." He chuckled and took a bite of his toast before he continued: "you know, having said that, I am usually the last to know about these kinda of things."

"You're their Number One. Shouldn't you know everything?"

"I know," he agreed conversationally. "You'd think so, Ben. Discipline has never really been our strong suit. It's pretty much a free-for-all over there. So, listen, This sounds like an easy fix. I'll head back— I mean, my family's probably worried sick about me, to be honest— and if they have your guy, I'll make sure to send him back without a scratch. Alright? No harm, no foul." He looked around the table at the assorted siblings. "How's that sound? Good? Great." He rose from his chair.

Before he could even step away from the table, a scarlet film covered his body. He looked over to see that Deianira was smiling at him sweetly, though the menace that glittered in her eyes unnerved him. She wiggled her fingers at him tauntingly and he saw that they were covered in similar red wisps. At her mocking wave, he felt his body be forced back down into the chair.

Ben discomfortingly mirrored the brunette's expression. Almost pleasantly, he asked, "what's the rush? Stick around until Marcus is back." Christopher spoke warningly to back his siblings up and he floated closer to their hostage.

"My family will come for me," the ape-man insisted.

"Wonderful," Ben said as he finished wiping his mouth casually with his napkin. "In the meantime, make yourself at home." He stood to clear his plate but he paused. "Oh, and, uh. . . before I forget, if you try to escape, Fei's birds will peck your eyes out and make a nest inside your skull."

The short-haired woman chuckled as she grinned evilly at him. Deianira leaned forward as she curled her fingers towards her palm. The action caused the film to tighten around the ape-man's body and he grunted at the additional pressure. "Marcus wouldn't let me finish my threat before but he isn't here now to stop me. I will give you this warning only once: if you so much as look at Sloane in a way that would be considered 'workplace harassment' Fei's birds will be the least of your worries. I will personally pluck out your eyes and shove them down your esophagus. Capiche?"