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❛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀʀᴛʏ ᴍᴄғʟʏ ᴇғғᴇᴄᴛ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴅᴜᴅᴇ, ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ
ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ꒱　


❝ BRO, HE SHANKED
YOUR HEART ❞

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The next morning found her groggy and extremely hungry and she gave an irritated sigh at the thought if facing the entire, long day.

"No, no, no, I don't understand," Diego was saying as she entered the kitchen. "They keep following me."

"Wait, who?" Alexa's eyes widened at the sight of Luther standing over the stove making eggs. When had he gotten there?

"Those Dutch sociopaths."

The blonde made her way around Elliot's cupboards since she didn't trust Luther's cooking. She pulled out a loaf of bread, marshmallows and peanut butter that she'd stashed early on in her acquaintance with the man.

"They're Swedish, you idiot," Five retorted. "Hired guns paid to eradicate us before we do any more damage to the timeline."

"Yeah, but why now?" Diego asked. "I mean, I'm fine for three months until you showed up."

"Yeah, I was here for a year and no one messed with me," Luther put in.

Alexa nodded as she opened her bread bag. "I was fine for three and a half years."

Luther turned to her as his eyes widened. "Three and a half years?"

The blonde nodded again and aimed her next question at Diego. "Hey, can I see one of your knives?"

The man rolled his eyes. "Sure," he said. He pulled one out and held it up by the handle.

Alexa huffed. "I meant can I use it."

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" he asked as he handed it to her. She rolled her eyes in response and opened the peanut butter to dip the blade into the jar.

"Are you sure that's sanitary?" Luther asked with concern.

"It's better than eating whatever you make, Egg Boy," she responded easily, feeling the happy bubble of family reunion return.

"At least he doesn't burn them," Five put in as she began to spread the peanut butter over two slices of toast.

"That was one time!"

"Anyway," the boy said pointedly as Alexa continued to make two sandwiches. "Even if it was my fault— which it isn't— we only have six days before the end of the world and the closest anyone's gotten to Dad was that driveway at the consulate."

Alexa closed both faces of the sandwich together as Luther started, "well, that's not exactly true."

"What do you mean?" Five asked.

"I saw him." Luther then filled them in on how he tracked down their father.

As he talked, Alexa picked up both sandwiches and handed one to the dark-haired boy who gave her a surprised look that was quickly masked by a brief nod of thanks. Diego, Luther and Five occupied the three seats at Elliot's table as Alexa leaned against the wall behind her long-haired brother as she ate her sandwich.

"That's pathetic," Diego announced after Luther finished.

"Yeah, well, at least he didn't shank my ass."

"No bro, he shanked your heart."

Elliot appeared then. "Is that my bathrobe?"

"No," the large man mumbled, clearly lying.

"Look, who cares what he shanked," Five said as he put down his half-eaten sandwich. "He knows something about time travel."

"Maybe he doesn't," Alexa said hopefully. "We don't really need to see him, do we?"

Again, her request to not see their father went ignored as Elliot asked, "wait, why don't you just do your thing and, uh, time travel out?"

At this, the blonde let out an amused snort as Five stood. "Anyone care to explain?"

"First time he tried he got lost in the apocalypse," Luther explained helpfully through a mouthful of eggs.

"Second time, he ended up without hair on his balls," Diego finished.

"Last time I tried, I scattered my family across three years in Dallas Texas, possibly triggering doomsday."

"Could you imagine if he tried again?" the blonde asked. "I'd rather not have to deal with the Black Plague, thank you very much."

He gave her an irritated look. "Any more questions, Elliot?"

The man shook his head. "Uh, no."

"Guys," Diego interrupted them. "You're missing the bigger picture here. Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that's planning to kill the president."

Alexa groaned. "Again, Go-Go?"

Luther gave him an interested look. "A cabal?"

"Ignore him," the boy put in shortly. "Look, the way I see it, we only have one option."

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"It's time to get The Umbrella Academy back together," Five said.

"Hell yeah, family meeting," Diego exclaimed.

"Okay, then can one of you three get Allison please?"

"You two still a thing?" He leaned forward. "Do we need to talk?"

"No, she's married," Luther corrected him.

Alexa blinked in surprise. Married? Again? After the last one worked out so well? Immediately, she felt a stab of guilt. She was just jealous that her sister had found someone who would stay. She snorted, my, how the tables have turned.

"Whoa, dude, that's rough."

"I can handle it," Luther said with a not very convincing laugh.

"I'll get her," Five cut in. "Can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?"

"I'll try," he replied mockingly.

"I'll go with him," Alexa offered. "In case things get out of giant ape hands."

Diego let out a snort of amusement while Luther sent her a look. "Are you ever going to let that go?"

She moved closer to him and gently patted his shoulder. "Never, Moon boy."

Five disappeared then as Elliot tried to talk. "Wait—" he began and then turned to the remaining Hargreeves. "What should I do?"

"Prepare for company."

☂☂☂

Alexa sighed as Elliot droned on about making Jell-O; it was seriously making her not want to eat it. Diego was messing anxiously with his knives while on either side of her, Luther and Vanya sat in silence. Shifting slightly, she cautiously leaned her head against her sister's shoulder, ready to pull away at the slightest sign of dislike. To her relief (and surprise) Vanya only turned slightly to give her a soft smile at the sign of trust.

"If we have some, will you shut up?" Diego asked flatly.

"Speak for yourself," the blonde said quietly as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Maybe," he began to ladle it out.

"How do you feel?" Diego wondered.

"Pretty shitty, to be honest," Vanya answered.

"Where would you say you were on a scale of one to. . . ending all life on this planet?"

Alexa and Vanya spoke at the same time with the blonde lobbing Elliot's throw blanket at her brother: "really?"

It hit Diego in the face and slid down to rest in the crook of his arms. He gave her an annoyed look and tossed it aside.

"Diego, put the knife away you idiot," Luther hissed, for once having common sense. "She's fine."

"The last time I saw this one she had me suspended in midair sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles. I think I'm allowed a little time to process."

"Oh, I would love to see energy tentacles!" Elliot put in.

"I don't remember what I did," Vanya said as she sat up, "but I'm sorry, if-if that means anything."

Their brother relaxed slightly and put his knife down. "It does. I'm just going through a lot right now. There's this girl that I like. I thought she liked me, but it turns out she's—"

He was cut off by loud laughter from the front of the room. "Oh, thank god," Luther said and he stood.

Alexa startled when she recognized her other sister's voice. "Is anyone here? Hello?"

Then, Klaus' sing-song voice drifted up to them as the four already there moved to the balcony. Allison laughed. "You don't speak French."

Standing at the bar between Diego and Luther, Alexa saw the last few members of her family that she'd been searching for.

"Oh, wow," Klaus said as he looked up. "I know this is impossible but. . . did we all get sexier?"

"Vanya," Allison breathed.

"I can't believe I have two sisters!"

Together, the four Hargreeves left the second floor and made their way down to the first. The three sisters stared at each other for a moment, taking in the sight of each other.

"I missed you," Allison said, looking at the brunette woman. Alexa's heart panged. Despite everything, she'd missed both of her sisters. Then, to her surprise, Allison's eyes slid towards her and she smiled softly. "I missed you, too."

The blonde could only stare until she breathed out, "really?"

At the other woman's nod, the three women surged together in their first-ever sister group hug. Alexa was trapped in between the two of them but perfectly content. Another person joined their embrace and she heard Klaus' voice. "Oh, that's so sweet!"

They tried to protest but only weakly as he wrapped his arms around the three of them. They pulled apart as Five asked, "Klaus, is Ben here?"

Alexa's gaze shot hopefully up at her brother, remembering the last time she'd seen their ghost brother. Maybe, maybe, she'd finally get to apologize for her part in his death— not that she could ever make it fully right.

"Oh, uh, no. Unfortunately, ghosts can't time travel."

She couldn't tell if Klaus was BS-ing them or not but her heart still sank in disappointment.

"Alright then. Let's get down to business."

As they turned to go back upstairs, she felt someone tug on her arm and turned to see Klaus giving her an amazed look. "Look at you, all little and cute again!"

She huffed. "I'm always cute. But yeah, something went wrong with the time travel and now I'm stuck like this."

Her brother wiggled his eyebrows playfully. "Well, at least Five's got someone close to his age now! Maybe you two can— you know— share life experiences or something!"

She tried very hard not to let her face go red. "You're ridiculous," she huffed.

He teasingly ruffled her hair as they parted and practically shouted: "I've got a little sister now!"

Alexa put the messy strands back in place as she followed her siblings back upstairs. "I'm still the same age as you, idiot!"

Although, that wasn't strictly true. They'd all arrived at different times meaning they now had months— and years— separating them. That was a very weird concept to think about.

☂☂☂

"Alright, first off, I want to say I'm sorry. I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole going-back-in-time-and-getting-stuck thing but the real kick in the pants here is we brought the end of the world back here with us."

"Oh my god, again?" Klaus asked, already diving into Elliot's liquor. There was a pause as they all nodded. "All of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the— oh my god," he broke off. "My cult's gonna be so pissed! Five! I told them we had until 2019!"

"We have until Monday," Five corrected him flatly. "We have six days."

Alexa groaned from her place on the couch. "I always knew there was a reason I hated Mondays."

"Is it Vanya?" Klaus asked.

"Klaus!" Allison exclaimed.

"What? It's usually Vanya."

Alexa rolled her eyes. "It can't be usually if it's only one time."

Vanya sighed. "Do we have any leads, Five?"

"Yeah, we have one," he said. Diego picked up the printed, blurry image of their father.

"Holy shit," Allison exclaimed. "Is that Dad?"

"Yeah."

"That's him?"

"And he's standing on the grassy knoll."

"Diego and I have been trying to talk to him about what exactly this means," Five explained. "So far, we've got nothing."

"Not nothing," Diego argued. "He's planning to kill Kennedy."

"Maybe," he conceded, "but we don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion. Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independent. But, we know something changes the timeline and we have to make it right."

"Yeah," Allison said, "but how are we supposed to do that if we don't know what's broken?"

"Oh, come on," Diego put in. "We know Dad's been having some shady meetings with some shady-ass people. We know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president, so I think we all know what we have to do."

He and Five spoke at the same time with very different ideas: "Find dad" and "kill dad."

"None of us are supposed to be here, right?" Vanya asked. "I mean, what if it's us? Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?"

There was a moment of silence before Luther said, "Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald."

He pointed at his brother accusingly. "And you're working for Jack Ruby."

Alexa sighed. "I might've started working for someone who's the key eyewitness to dissolving a dozen conspiracy theories on Kennedy's death in a few days' time."

"Allison has been very involved in local politics," Klaus offered.

"Okay, you started a cult!"

Klaus hissed as Vanya stammered, "I-I'm just a nanny on a farm. I'm not involved with any of that."

"Well, maybe you do and we just don't know it yet."

Diego whistled sharply. "Listen to yourselves. Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. That can't be a coincidence. Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll, Klaus is doing something weird and pervy and probably related, Al's involved in the aftermath. See, clearly, we were all sent back here for one special reason: saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy."

They began arguing then and Alexa groaned. "You just had to make it weird by using his full name, didn't you?" This resulted in pulling her into her sibling's debate.

"Guys, you all die," Five's quiet voice cut through their arguments. "I was there. I saw it and I wanna forget it but I can't. I saw Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it." He paused as one of his hands slipped into his jacket pocket so that his fingers brushed against the crumpled slip of paper that that Alexa had given him. He steeled himself. "In a war that never happened until we brought it here. And Hazel gave his life to save us so you need to shut up and listen to me. I don't know if these things we've experienced here are all connected. I don't know if there's a reason for everything, but Dad will. We need to talk to him before everyone and everything we know is dead."

"Okay, I'm out," Luther said as he stood.

"Did you even hear me, Luther?"

"Yeah, yeah I did. I heard a fifty-eight year-old man who wants his daddy to come fix everything. Well, you can count me out."

Alexa shot up from her seat on the couch. "Wow, Luther. I can barely hear you over all your bullshit!" she snapped. "Look, we may not want to see Dad but we've got to fix this together. It's the only way—"

Luther gave her a cold look. "Why is it that you always take his side, hmm? He's not always right you know. It's almost as if-as if— you've got a crush on him or something."

Her blood chilled and her voice was icy as she shot back, "don't be stupid, Luther. I thought you were turning around but it seems like that gorilla DNA is resurfacing."

In her mind, there was a frantic chant of no, please no, please— she couldn't be that obvious, could she? For even Luther to pick up on it?

Luckily, all he did was give her a final glare and turned away. Diego made an attempt to follow him. "Save it, Diego."

Five disappeared in a flash of blue and Alexa ran to the balcony to watch as he got in front of Luther. "No one leaves until we figure this out."

The large man sighed. Then, with a quick decision, sent the boy flying over the railing. Five's name escaped Alexa's mouth in a cry as he fell and her hands flashed out in a too-late attempt to stop him from hitting the floor. He disappeared in another flash of blue out of sight.

Her anger towards Luther rose but she couldn't pull away from staring, frozen, at the spot where Five would've hit. She'd almost been too late.

Alexa startled at the feeling of a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned to see Allison looking at her sympathetically. "Hey, do you want to join us for tacos?"

The blonde blinked up at her. "Me? Really?"

"Why not?"

Her gaze slid to where Klaus and Vanya were already celebrating their way down the stairs. It looked like fun, so she gave her sister a tentative smile. "Yeah, alright."