〖Chapter warning: Very steamy, closed-door love scene.〗

Chapter 15.

The nightmares weren't even the worst part. Trauma had a way of its own, it played with Axel's mind. She was stuck in this constant cycle of the same scene of Gavin dropping onto the floor; after the commander made his death quick. Occasionally, the dreams convinced her that she was trapped on the same track and at the same moment. 

She couldn't run, it felt like the weight of the world pressed down on her, in the same kneeling position. Axel had been out cold for days, occasionally Magnus, Marcus, or Anna would check on her. But nothing, she wouldn't 't give a sign that soon she would awaken.

Something went on inside her head, that imprisoned her consciousness, while her body continued to heal. Magnus surrendered his bed to Axel, after everything that has happened between the two. 

He couldn't help but feel terrible for the introductions in the begging. Magnus sat on the stone floor next to the fire. A bow rested on his lap, not just any bow, Marcus's bow. He agreed to do some repairs to his bowstring, which Marcus complained to have problems with.

Axel's eyes fluttered open, she inhaled deeply. Cold droplets of sweat dripped from the edges of Axel's short hair. Magnus's focus broke from the bow and travelled towards her, steadily he rose from his crisscrossed position.

"Hey, take it easy," Magnus warned her while rushing to her side. He watched her struggle to sit up, her back ached with even the slightest movement. She held the covers tightly against her chest, with a sudden realization that she was shirtless.

Magnus placed both hands up in surrender, "It wasn't my idea, I can assure you." Magnus assured Axel, rather than allowing her to get the idea.

A regretful sigh escaped her lips, "How did we get this far?" she muttered.

Magnus swallowed thickly, carefully fishing through what he was about to answer.

"We've made it this far because our anuz (ancestors) fought by our sides," Magnus replied simply. Magnus was unsure how she felt at the moment. Her expression remained unreadable, she kept minimum eye contact with Magnus. Her icy eyes hunted for Excalibur.

A frustrated growl escaped her lungs, "I never desired this power. I should have never stepped near it. And it cost Gavin's life." Axel's heart sunk to the pit of her stomach while she ranted.

"We will honour him by taking out the tyrant-"

"No, no more blood needs to be shed. Not after Gavin died-" Magnus interrupted Axel from continuing.

"Do you hear yourself? You're sparing that serpent-tongued woman after what she did to you?! She tortured you, she starved you, and she butchered your hair. All for her hygge (contentment)," Marcus replied in a frustrated voice.

"You don't understand this is what she wants, Magnus. She's tried planting a seed in my mind of retribution. I'm not going to fancy her satisfaction by returning to the Palace." Axel quarrelled with Magnus.

"Why don't you take Excalibur and toss it as far as you can in the lake. Then you're doing us all a favour." Axel added.

"Power is only given to the ones who are willing to lower themselves and pick it up. It chose you for a reason. Not because of your shared blood with your father, Uther Pendragon. But because you were the only woman in Camelot who was ready to look Tyr in the eyes, and raise your sword for justice." Magnus disclosed the argument.

Axel kept quiet, her eyes raised from her lap and snapped over to the sword next to her. She was unaware of how to use Excalibur. She began to perceive Magnus's point of view, he was right. If she turned her back and abandoned the people in Camelot and Londinium, then identical punishment would happen to others.

"Mind passing that." Axel pointed at the stack of clothing the Mage leant to Axel.

"Sure." Magnus agreed. Axel shifted to the edge of the bed and balanced herself with the table next to it, with one hand holding the fur blanket up to her bare chest. Her legs felt fragile, the table began to shake with her limited grip. Axel felt her legs give out, her side crashed against the table, taking the table down with her.

Magnus spun around after hearing the abrupt crash. He rushed to her awkward sprawled form.

He refused from allowing his eyes to roam what his heart desired. Magnus wrapped his arms around her delicate form. "I'm fine, I can stand," Axel assured Magnus.

It was almost laughable how hard she tried masking the blush, that formed on her ivory cheeks. Being so close to him, she admired how green his eyes were. Intoxicating and dark. Both stayed silent, both were hesitant about what the next step should be.

The two were hesitant to make a move, she felt the heat begin to pool in her stomach. She ignored what she felt for Magnus because she didn't know whether the feeling was mutual or not.

She closed in the gap, gently pressing her lips against his. Magnus's heart began to intensify. Her lips departed from his when she felt like she crossed the line when he didn't kiss back. Magnus was unsure whether she wanted this, he wanted someone else more worthy to take her through the night.

Except for one thing, she was so much like the woman he loved before.

"I'm sorry, I-" Axel began to apologize, but he closed the gap before she finished his sentence. He felt his heart threatening to burst. Her wispy fingers began to thread through his locks, as their lips began to fight for dominance. His lips molten on hers, he placed her down gently. Magnus pressed himself against her, a small smile formed on his face, it ignited a fire inside her chest.

She gently placed her palms on the side of his face and deepened the kiss.
The two departed their lips for air. However, a pair of icy eyes dilate with something that was off. She was nervous, more nervous than she has ever been. However she wanted to take the next step with Magnus, but she began to be unsure whether this was too soon.

The gleam of her eyes retreated.

"Something wrong?" Magnus questions, catching the uncertain look in her eyes. 

"You can tell me if I'm going too far," Magnus assured her, knowing after everything she's been through. The things she saw and things that have been done to her a few days ago.

"It's not that, I just haven't done this before." she draws a breath and her heart shudders when he shifts away from her.

Did he not love her as much as she did? 

Was she not good enough for him?

A countless amount of questions roamed through her mind. She shifted cautiously and slower than usual. Her hands shook and use to remain so steady. She wasn't sure whether she ruined the spark they shared.

Her hands rested gently on his bicep, "Magnus?" she says quietly, it was almost easy to miss the silence and gloom within her voice.

His gaze intent bellow him, and his muscles tensed. She saw how cautious and insecure his abrupt actions were. Magnus's eyes were empty and cold, debating whether this was right or not to be her first. He began to think whether this was too far, whether he was replacing the woman he loved that died in battle.

And it was almost too similar, to how Axel was nearly burned to death at the hands of Vortigern.

"Magnus, you didn't do anything wrong." she pleads, trying her best to get him back to reality.

His blood began to rush, and his features loomed. She slowly shifts in front of him, her knees tucked beneath her. Her touch was warm and it made the hairs on the back of his neck rise.

She hesitantly reaches for his hands, that rested on his lap. She intertwines her hands between his. He fought through his thoughts, he wanted this as much as her. But a part of him said he didn't want to be her first. That her first should be with someone special, but yet again it could be the worst with someone else.

It was so quiet in the room, that the fire was the only noise. It continued to crackle. She was eager to know if it was something she said that ruined the moment.

Magnus lifted his hands out of hers, and gently placed a finger under her sharp jaw, raising it for him to look her in the eyes. Beauty began to bustle through the silence. His emerald eyes locked on hers, longing for the moment. Both of their expressions remain unreadable and reserved. His hand leaves her chin and interwinds with hers.

"I want to know if this is what you want, otherwise, we can take things a bit slower." Magnus voiced his thoughts.

She gave him a sweet smile, she was relieved it wasn't something she did.

Then with his mind put to ease, it was almost natural, he lifted her knuckle to his lips. And ghosted his lips over her knuckle. Her heart began to pick up the pace and stammer through her chest.

His hand barely held something so small and fragile in his hands, so much death was caused by his own hands. It made him fear that he would break her. Holding a sword and gallantly racing into battle was something he's always known. But barely has he paid attention to what he felt, he hid it occasionally.

He wonders, ponders, whether he deserved her, even after Anna pulled him back after a swarm of guards attacked Axel. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind.

"Tell me when to stop," Magnus assures her with a whisper. 

His lips search for her neck, leaving behind a few peppered kisses. He promised himself that this would be perfect for her. He promised he would make her feel beautiful after the Queen stole that beauty. But he still saw that beauty and believed looks don't define a person. He promised she would feel admired, and that there was no other woman he would rather be with.

Magnus's lips began to trail further down her neck, she began to feel her skin ignite with flames. He spun her around where she was beneath him. Her back rested against the soft sheets, while he brought his lips back to hers. 

She couldn't keep up with breathing, momentarily she felt like she suffocated herself. He kissed her passionately and tenderly, her fingers reaching beneath his leather vest. Manus broke the kiss to remove his vest.

Her eyes traced down his built chest and down to his abs. A bubbly feeling begins to rise from her stomach.

"What's so funny? If you wanted me to take my shirt off earlier, you could have asked." Magnus teased her. His nose brushed against hers, as he dove in for another kiss. He made sure to take this slowly, He made sure she was comfortable and had enough time to back out if she needed.

Small tickles of air hit the sides of her cheek. She could barely hold her hesitation to smile at that moment. Magnus began to make her feel whole again, that she wasn't in danger, that she was in the safest place. 

Each kiss ignited a small jolt of electricity through her skin. He began to go a bit further down her skin, while she begins to trail closer to him. It was enough to make her melt. He continued to squeeze her hand with reassurance. Axel begins to grip the sheets as his hands begin to wander her skin, his touch began to create a pool of heat in her stomach. Small, and soft moans escape her breath.

Beneath his touch, she felt vulnerable. She wasn't afraid, nor fearless. He stopped at her hips, at traced back to her lips. With his lips against hers, he tasted a certain sweetness that he began to crave even more.

Nothing that night she regrets. It was the first time she felt beautiful to someone who cared so much for her. Magnus didn't regret a moment with her. The night was mended with endless possibilities and endless chances.

He claimed her as his goddess. Stories began with a whisper. Some began with slaying dragons and agony. But this one began with waking up to his song.