Author's Note:

Here is the awaited update. Pasensya na sa matagal na paghihintay. Finals week na. Opo, nakikita ko po lahat ng comments nyo na "UD na po.",pero sadyang wala akong time eh. I'm sorry but please forgive me by reading this part. BTW, to satisfy your feels...you might want to hear these songs while reading.

Thousand Years – Christina Perri

The Scientist – Covered by Gabriella (music video on the media above)

I hope you like this part. This part is also bound to typographical errors. I used the Microsoft Word in this part. Thank you.

{CHAPTER TWENTY - EIGHT: JUMP AND LET GO}

Ivy's POV

Napasampal na lang ako doon sa doctor na nasa harapan ko? Tanga ba sya? Isa syang doctor in the first place. He was supposed to bring back the lives of their patients, hindi yung patayin! Ano na lang ang sense ng pagiging doctor nila kung hindi nila maibalik yung buhay ni Alexander? They really want me to burn this hospital, huh?

"Gago ka ba?! Why don't you do your best dahil in the first place, doctor ka! You're supposed to heal Alexander and now do your thing!"

Napasalampak na lang ako sa sahig. Wala na akong magawa. Wala na akong magawa na pwede ko pang maitulong kay Alexander. Bakit sya, lagi syang nasa tabi ko? Noong gumuho yung mall. He is the one who saved me from dying yet hindi ko sya mailigtas ngayon. I'm so useless. Wala akong kwenta. Ang tanga-tanga ko. Dapat talaga mamatay na lang ako.

Eto lang naman ang kaya kong gawin di'ba? Ang umiyak. Ang sisihin ang sarili sa mga bagay na dapat ginawa ko pero hindi ko naman nagawa. I'm nothing but a useless, pathetic girl who lost her family in the first place.

"I'm sorry Miss but we did our best. Talagang sakto po sa dibdib ni Alexander ang tama ng bala kaya agad naapektuhan ang kanyang puso. I'm sorry po. He was now transferred to the morgue and you can check his body there."

Gustong-gusto kong mabingi sa lahat ng sinasabi ng doctor. Jusko, hindi ko maimagine lahat ng nangyayaring ito. It was already 11:23 in the evening. Kulang na kulang na ang tulog ko. Kitang kita na rin ang eye bags sa paligid ng mga mata ko. My make-up were completely torn up. My dress is full of Alexander's blood tapos sira-sira pa. Ganito ang perfect birthday. It was so perfect that I only want to die and let the pain conquer my whole body.

Na para bang ang ilalagay sa puntod ko kapag namatay na ako ay, "Rest in Hell". See?

Tatlong oras akong nakasalampak sa sahig ng ospital malapit sa operating room. Hindi ako umiiyak, hindi rin ako humahagulgol. Nakatulala lang talaga. Pinagtitinginan ako ng mga tao, yung iba nagbubulungan pa. Some tried to offer their help but I just shoved them away. What can I do? Kung iisipin ko lahat ng memorya naming dalawa, alam ko sa sarili ko na puro negatibo lang lahat. I was so mad at him back then. He looked so boastful. Ang yabang-yabang ng aura when he danced me in my birthday. 

Nung binigyan nya ako ng white rose. Noong hinayaan kong tapusin naming ang isang kanta na parang wala ng iba sa event ko. Na parang kami lang dalawa. Noong hinalikan nya ako sa kalagitnaan ng gulo, sa kalagitnaan ng mga nagpuputukang baril, hinalikan nya ako at naramdaman ko. Naramdaman ko yung pagmamahal nya sakin. Pero ngayon wala na sya! It was like na isang pikit ko lang, pagdilat ko binawi na lahat ng meron sakin. My Dad and Alexander. Napakasakit.

Should I atleast visit him to the morgue? Can I atleast see his admirable face before he was placed inside a coffin? Kaya ko ba, o ika-babaliw ko lang?

I stand up. Despite the pain, tumayo ako. And luckily kinaya ko.

I made my way to the quiet morgue. Walang tao. Wala akong kasama. Napakalamig ng kapaligiran. Hinawakan ko ang doorknob nung pintuan bago huminga ng malalim. It feels like I was in Nirvana.

Then there I saw him. Peacefully sleeping on one of the beds inside the room. I want to hug him tight. I want to kiss him. I just want to be with him.

Tumayo ako sa gilid nya at tinitigan ang kanyang mukha. Bakit parang gusto ko na sigawan sya at sabihing gumising na sya? Bakit ganun?

Unti unti akong napaluhod sa tabi nya habang umiiyak. I held his hand so tight, na para bang hindi ko na sya bibitawan...and I will never leave his side. Hindi ko ulit napigilang hindi mapahagulgol. It was so painful. Mas mahirap pa ito kesa sa diretsahang pinatay ka. You were slowly being killed by your emotions and feelings. Hindi tao ang papatay sayo kundi yung mga nararamdaman mo.

I stayed with Alexander in the morgue for two and a half hours. I looked at my wrist watch, basag na relo to be exact, and its already 6 in the morning. Wala akong tulog. Wala akong kain.

Lantang-gulay akong umalis sa silid at dumeretso sa rooftop ng hospital. Pagkabukas na pagkabukas ko ng pinto, agad umihip ang malakas sa hangin at tanaw na tanaw ko ang buong Maynila. It was so beautiful. Sana kasama ko ngayon si Alexander at nakikita nya rin ang mga ito. I can see how the sun rises and how the birds fly above me. Lumapit ako sa railings ng rooftop.

Sobrang lakas ng hangin at nakakapawi ng sama ng loob. It blew my hair and my bloody dress away.

I looked down. Masyadong mataas. Little did I know that this is the 30th floor of the hospital where I am. Maraming sasakyan sa ibaba, busy people at maingay na naman. For them, it was just a normay day but for me, it was like the end of the world.

Hinigpitan ko ang kapit sa mga bakal at pumikit. Sumampa ako sa mga railings doon at hindi ininda ang lula dahil sa taas ng kinalalagyan ko. I just want to be with Alexander and this is the best way how to do it. I'm missing him and I can't take it anymore. Huminga muna ako ng malalim at tsaka ngumiti. I can't wait to see Alexander again. I might go to hell but atleast pareho ng wala ang existence namin ni Alexander sa mundo. Jumping here is like escaping from the life that is full of problems, shits and fucks. 

For the last time, I took a deep breath before spreading my arms at dinama ang lamig na bumabalot sa kabuuan ng aking katawan. It blows deep down in my wounds but I just felt nothing. 

I love you too, Alexander Mercedes and please see me again.