❝it was war, it wasn't fair.❞

ISLA IMMEDIATELY JUMPED INTO PANIC MODE. She grabbed Lexa's arms and dragged her over to a mat in the corner, and Finnick rushed over to help. Both pairs of eyes scanned the woman's unconscious form for what could be happening. Finnick questioned, "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know. She just collapsed," the Angler woman answered. He was there, so she knew as much as he did. She began unstrapping Lexa's armor, praying that she just could not breathe because it was tight or something. However, Isla's heart dropped when she saw the bloodstain on the white tank top under all the armor. She slowly lifted the fabric to see a huge infected wound where the Armada woman had been shot about a week ago. Isla turned to Finnick, whose eyes were wide and concerned. "Um, I need a needle and some thread and bandages and cloths and a whole lot of alcohol or anything I can use to sanitize this."

"On it," he replied with a nod, and he immediately shot up to look for supplies. Everyone else helped him since they had just been standing there the entire time, watching as he and Isla panicked. The least they could do was help find anything they could use as medical supplies.

Isla used her hands to apply pressure to the wound, trying not to let tears fall as she stared down at the woman she loved and the sick expression on her face. She muttered, "Lexa, what did you do?"

They must have not sanitized the equipment enough during her surgery or something. How else could the wound have gotten so infected? Isla wasn't sure what to do. Her brother used to be a doctor back in District 4, but she learned almost nothing from him before he died.

"This was all I could find," Finnick informed her, dumping an armful of stuff next to her. She scanned over it. Along with a sewing kit, there were some cloths, a dress that could be torn to make bandages, and a bottle of some weird Capitol drink. One sniff told Isla that it had plenty of alcohol in it.

"It'll have to do," she sighed. They were in a bunker after all. She lifted her hands from the wound and began preparing everything that she would need in order to stitch Lexa up. She gestured over to the space by the unconscious woman's head. "Go kneel over her head and put your hands on her shoulders."

"Why?" he questioned, looking slightly concerned. He made his way over to where he was told to be anyway, willing to do anything that will help. He would be yelling at everyone else to stop standing there and do something, but he was too worried about Lexa for that.

Isla sighed, not really wanting to explain but knowing she had to. She hated the thought of Lexa being in pain because of her, but she had to remember that it was helping her in the long run. "Because if she wakes up while I'm cleaning the wound or stitching it up, then it's going to hurt like hell, and I need you to hold her down."

"Yeah, okay," he answered quickly, and he looked like he wished he hadn't asked.

Isla took one of the cloths and stuck it in Lexa's mouth because they were still in hiding. If she screamed, that might give away their position. They weren't sure how soundproof the bunker was. After doing that, she kissed the woman on the forehead for a moment, whispering that it was going to be okay, even though she couldn't hear her.

She then placed everything out on the mat and uncapped the bottle, dumping alcohol on all of the equipment and all over her hands. She left about half the bottle, unsure of how much she was going to need for the wound.

Then came the hard part.

She poured some alcohol on a cloth and took a deep breath before pressing it to the open wound. It took about five seconds for Lexa to start stirring and then another five for her to register the pain. After those ten seconds, she jolted. Her body began flailing, and her muffled screams could be heard through the cloth. Finnick had to use most of his body weight to hold down her squirming shoulders, but that did not stop her torso from twisting. Isla climbed on top of the woman, straddling her to hold her hips in place while Cressida and Peeta each grabbed a leg.

"I know! I know! I know! You're okay. I'm right here. You're okay," the Angler woman assured her, but it did not seem to be helping. She continued to move the cloth around the wound, putting more alcohol on it as she went. Lexa continued to scream and squirm, and Isla just had to pray that it would stop soon. She begged, "Please pass out. Please pass out."

She did eventually pass out, just as Isla was about to start the stitches. The blonde girl brought the thread and needle back and forth, puncturing the brunette's skin every time. She was still on top of her, and she was sobbing while she did it. Her body shook so much that she was surprised she was able to keep the needle steady. The rest of them thought that it was best to just leave her alone unless she asked for something, but Finnick stayed close to let her know that he was there.

Finally, she was done, and she sat against the wall with Lexa's head in her lap. She ran her fingers through her hair as tears continued to roll down her cheeks. She hated seeing the Armada woman like that. She looked so sick and so helpless. Her heart was breaking more every second that Lexa was down.

"I made it up," Katniss interrupted all of a sudden, interrupting the silence that had filled the room. They all looked up at her, but she was mainly speaking to Cressida and Pollux because they were the only ones that didn't know. "All of it. There is no special mission from Coin. There's only my plan. Everyone that's dead is dead because of me. I lied."

There was a short pause where they awaited the blonde woman's answer. Isla expected her to start screaming and throwing stuff or maybe pull out her gun and shoot the Everdeen girl, but she just nodded slightly. "We know. We all knew."

"The soldiers from 13?" the Girl on Fire questioned.

"They did, too," Cressida confirmed. She glanced down to the gash on the back of Gale's neck that she was trying to take care of before looking back up. "Do you really believe that Jackson thought you had orders from Coin? She trusted Boggs, and he clearly wanted you to go on."

Katniss was speechless for a moment. She had never expected that so many people would get killed when they were filming propos and trying to get her close enough to kill Snow. "I never meant for this to happen. I failed. I... I killed them. I'm sorry, Pollux. I'm so sorry."

"Glimmer, Marvel, Clove, Wiress, Rue. What do all those deaths mean?" Peeta asked them, causing all of their heads to turn to look at him. "They mean that our lives were never ours. There was no real life because we didn't have any choice. Our lives belong to Snow, and our deaths do, too. But if you kill him, Katniss... If you end all of this, all those deaths, they mean something. Cinna, Boggs, Castor, Jackson. They chose this. They chose you."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

don't ask me how finnick got out of that situation unharmed, but i just really didn't want him to die, okay?