❝my hand was the one you reached for❞ 

LEXA COULD FEEL THE GRASS BENEATH HER BODY AND FINGERS. It was a feeling that she missed greatly, and she had never appreciated it enough before. She had never thought about how amazing the feeling of being safe and warm was. The bright sun was beating down, blinding her, so she turned her head to the side and grinned when she saw her.

Isla. There she was, perfect as always, her hair fanned out around her head as she looked over at the flowers, playing with the petals and rolling them between her fingers before releasing them so that the whole flower sprung back and continued to dance among its friends in the wind. The sight caused a huge grin to spread across the blonde girl's face. Little things like that made her happy. Lexa wished so dearly to be that flower.

"It's a pretty day," Isla commented, tilting her head back so that she could feel the sun on her skin, feel the breeze run across her body.

Not as pretty as you are, Lexa wanted to say, but she didn't. She just thought about it and thought about how it would feel to be able to say that, to know that everything would be the same if she did, that nothing would change and nothing would be weird. She simply nodded and agreed, "Yeah, it is."

"Come on," Isla called, slightly grunting as she pushed herself to her feet. She then stood over Lexa and stretched out her hands, wanting to help the other woman up.

Lexa took them glady, and she felt lightning shoot through her arms and done her spine at the contact as the Angler woman pull;ed her to her feet. She released one hand but kept a tight grasp on the other as she led her through the grass. "Where are we going?"

"We're going for a walk," Isla answered, looking back at the woman with a smile. They only made it about ten steps before the blonde girl tripped on a rock right before a hill. She went tumbling down the hill, and since Lexa never let go of her hand, she went with her.

They landed, laughing, at the bottom of the hill as Isla landed on top of Lexa. The Armada woman chuckled and looked up at her with a smile. "That was very graceful of you."

"I know, right?" Isla answered with a laugh. Her hair fell around Lexa's head like a curtain, trapping them inside, and the older woman found her absolutely breathtaking.

Lexa woke up, and she groaned audibly when she remembered where she was. The dimly lit room smelled awful and felt awful, and worst of all, it did not have Isla. She had had a couple of those dreams recently, and she always felt like dying when she woke up.

"Another dream?" Finnick asked from his bed. He had insisted that they have a shared room, even thought they barely spoke to each other. She did not respond, but he already knew what the answer was and what it was about. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't save her. I begged them too, I promise. I'm really sorry, Lexa."

She sighed, and she felt really bad for making him feel like it was his fault when it really was not. He was going through the same thing. Annie was being held along with Isla. "I know. I'm sorry about Annie."

"I just wish there was something we could do to help them, but we just have to sit here in these beds because we're weak and hurt," he groaned, sitting up in his bed. He was right. All anyone ever let them do was sit there and 'get better.' It was killing both of them to not help anyone while just rotting in there. At least they were together, though.

Lexa raised her voice for what she said next, hoping that someone would hear and do something about it. "And they won't let us do fucking anything."

"Exactly," he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, and he reached over and grabbed the two pieces of twine that he had been tying all sorts of knots in since they arrived. "Every time I want to go to the bathroom, there are, like, five nurses that have to come help me."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes because no one had even offered to help her go to the bathroom, even though she was a hell of a lot more hurt than him. She was pretty sure that it had something to do with the fact that most of the nurses were women that came by the room just to ogle at him. "They just want to see your ass. They let me go on my own."

"The pain of having a great ass," he breathed out teasingly, and they both laughed. It was the first time either of them smiled since they got there, and even then, there was almost no feeling left in the laughs.

Both of them looked up when they heard footsteps, and their solemn expressions returned when they realized who it was. Katniss apparently had a similar reaction to Lexa when she found out that they left Peeta in the arena as well. "Finnick. Lexa."

"I wanted to go back for Peeta and Johanna and Isla, but I... I couldn't move," Finnick told her frantically, his voice breaking as he looked back down at his knots that were getting sloppy as he began to freak out.

Katniss looked over at the Armada woman in confusion, wondering what was up with him. Lexa just sighed and explained, "They have Annie, too. They took her."

"She's... She's in the Capitol," Finnick added, even though that was kind of implied. He took a deep breath, and he shook his head. Lexa could hear the pain in his voice, and it made her have to fight to hold in the tears. "I wish she was dead. I wish they were all dead and we were, too."

Katniss, clearly unsure about what to say, just nodded and turned back around to go back to her family. They were some of the few lucky ones to make it out of District 12, along with Gale, who was apparently Katniss's best friend back home. From was Lexa had seen, it did not seem like they were actually best friends.

"She better be worth all this," Lexa said once she was out of earshot. Katniss needed to do what she was supposed to because they had given everything for this cause.

Finnick nodded, and he was obviously convincing himself that she was. There was no way that they did all of that for nothing. They sacrificed themselves and their friends to shut down the games. "She is. She has to be. Or else all of this shit was for nothing."

《✤》

LEXA HAD BEEN COAXED OUT OF ROOM BY THE SMELL OF BREAD. She had not noticed how hungry she actually was until she saw the food that they were handing out in the cafeteria. So, she and Finnick sat a couple of seats down from Katniss and Gale while shoveling food into their mouths. The whole room went quiet all of a sudden, and Lexa looked up in confusion until she noticed the TV screen in front of her — more importantly, who was on the screen.

Peeta Mellark was wearing a white suit, and his legs were crossed. He looked good — healthy and clean — and he did not seem to be in any pain whatsoever. Lexa's first thought was that Isla was in the same condition, if not better. At least they were feeding them there.

"There has been rampant speculation about what really happened in the Quarter Quell. And here to shed a little light on the subject for us is a very special guest. Please welcome Mr. Peeta Mellark," Caesar Flickerman informed them. Just seeing his face made Lexa's blood boil, recalling a moment during their interviews where he got a little too touchy with Isla. "Peeta, a lot of people feel as though they are in the dark."

The blonde boy nodded, and all of them were shocked to see that he was cooperating. Katniss climbed to her feet, and Gale stood behind her as she took a couple of steps toward the screen. "Yeah, I know how they feel."

"Now, so set the stage for us. Talk us through what really happened on that final and controversial night," Caesar told him. He said 'controversial' like most people from the Capitol would, enunciating every syllable.

"Well, first off, you have to understand that when you're in the Games — you only get one wish," Peeta explained to the viewers, trying to get them to empathize with him, even though they could never understand the pain of the Games. "It's very costly."

Caesar nodded, and Lexa rolled her eyes when he tried to answer because anyone could tell that he was so wrong, at least anyone that had been in or knew anyone in the Games. "It costs your life."

"I think it costs more than your life," Peeta informed him. He was right — it cost you your happiness, your will to live, the people that you love, your choice. Even after you won the Games, Snow controlled your life. You belonged to him.

Caesar furrowed his eyebrows. He had never experienced the feeling of wishing that you were dead because of the things that you were forced to do to stay alive. "How do you mean? What's more than your life?"

"I mean to murder innocent people, that costs everything that you are," the Mellark boy continued. Lexa frowned. He must have been so pure before the Games, and now, he was there, having killed people to be there and be alive. "So, you hold on to that one wish, and that night, my wish was to save Katniss. I should've just run off with her earlier in the day like she'd wanted."

"But you didn't. Why? Were you caught up in Beetee's plan?" Caesar questioned.

He shook his head, and despite the fact that Lexa barely even knew him, she felt bad for him. He might be in District 13 if he and Katniss had run off. They would have saved both him and Katniss and no one else if they had to. "No, I was caught up trying to play allies. And then they separated us and... that's when I lost her. And then the lightning hit, and the whole force field around the arena just blew out."

The media man sighed, and it looked like he felt pity for the boy, like he was just a little kid that did not know any better. "Yes, but, Peeta, Katniss is the one who blew it out. You saw the footage."

"No, she didn't know what she was doing," Peeta insisted, shaking his head. He was being punished for something that he had no idea about, but Katniss did know what she was doing when she fired that arrow. "Neither of us knew there was a bigger plan going on. We had no idea."

"All right. Well, Peeta, there are many who find this suspicious to say the least. It seems as though she was part of a rebel plan," Caesar told him. He had always been fond of Peeta, and he seemed to believe that the Mellark boy had no clue. However, he was convinced that Katniss did.

Peeta almost rolled his eyes, and he began yelling, "Do you think it was part of her plan to be almost killed by Johanna? Or part of the plan to be paralyzed by lightning? No, we were not part of any rebel plan. We had no idea what was going on."

"All right. I believe you, Peeta Mellark. Thank you. Yeah," Caesar kind of trailed off, like he was proceeding with caution, scared that the boy was going to snap again. "And I was going to ask you to speak about the unrest, but I think you might be too upset."

"No, I can," Peeta told him.

Caesar tilted his head nad raised his hands, letting the boy know that it was totally okay if he did not want to talk anymore. Lexa could not help but wonder if the entire thing was scripted. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Yeah." Peeta then turned to talk right to the camera instead of Caesar. "I want everyone who's watching to stop and to think about what a civil war could mean. We almost went extinct once before. And now our numbers are even fewer. Is this really what we wanna do? Kill ourselves off? Killing is not the answer."

"I can't believe he's doing this," Lexa groaned as the people around them started yelling that he was a traitor and throwing food at the screen. She assumed that he was being held at gunpoint or someone he loved was. She prayed it was not Isla. He was being forced to say that somehow, but the District 13 citizens did not understand that.

Peeta just continued, unaware that almost no one in District 13 could hear him because of all of the yelling and protesting. "Everyone needs to lay down their weapons immediately."

"Are you calling for a ceasefire?" Caesar questioned, and he seemed shocked about it. He knew that Peeta was loyal to Katniss and would stick by her and her choices through everything.

The blonde boy nodded. "Yeah. I am."