I'm not the best and most consistent person alive and I am very much aware of that fact! I can't abandon you guys or this baby of mine! I'm sorry! I know I post once a year but I swear I'm trying! It's a 4000 word count guys! I hope I can make up! I swear I'm trying! Please don't abandon me either! I love you all!

:in sawaalon ka tu jawaab hai, sun zara

-•❅•-

-•❅•-

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 O6 : one of those moments 

I shouldn't feel bad.

No. Not at all.

What was I expecting? Three years is a long time.

Long enough to replace anyone;

And I'm just a wife.

A wife on paper to add.

Men get bored of their wives.

Forget remembering a so-called long-distance wife.

Ugh!

I shouldn't be sad, and above all, I shouldn't be mad!

Am I blabbering in my mind again? God yes, yes I am.

Clenching my jaw, almost to the point of breaking it, I gave one last look at the text from my mother:

'Since your husband is clearly not taking you as a plus one, why don't you tell him to ask Isha out instead? At least she could help him maintain his social status.'

Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder who forced her to push me out of herself anyway?

Shaking my head I couldn't help but tighten my grip on the phone, while the same old familiar stare burnt the back of my head, making me take a deep breath as I shut my eyes.

"What?" As much as I intended to merely ask a question, I couldn't help but bite my lip at how snappy I sounded instead.

There was silence in the elevator for a good whole minute until he finally muttered,

"Is something wrong?"

Absolutely.

I mean come to think of it, I am very much aware of how shitty my behavior is, for no good reason but let's be honest, I am no better than any normal mentally unstable human after all.

Maybe I wouldn't have been this mad had he just told me about him being awarded, or that he wouldn't really want me to accompany him in the first place.

Hell! I wouldn't have even been mad had he told me he was gonna take someone else with him!

Sad? A little, maybe; But not mad!

I know he is not hiding that he is being awarded with whatsoever, but that doesn't mean he can't tell me about it either, right?

We literally live in the same house now!

As much as I hated the fact that he didn't find me worth enough to share such an important moment of his life I couldn't help but think that maybe the reason I had been sulking so badly was also because the people I didn't even consider my family anymore knew about it way before I did.

They knew about my husband getting his dream achievement before me.

Did he... Did he tell them?

Them and not me.

I mean how else? How else would they know? Aren't these stuff supposed to be confidential?

It's not why he didn't ask me out yet, it's just... why isn't he telling me about it?

He could right?

A soft sigh escaped my lips.

It's such a great news, it's such a big deal. It must be so... so important to him.

Yet, he would rather not share his happiness with me...

I know I am being irrational but it's not the best feeling knowing your husband is closer to your so-called family (who couldn't care any less about me) than his wife.

An overly exaggerated "Nah!" escaped my lips just as I stepped out of the elevator.

This was his third time asking me the same question in a row, and my third time coming up with synonyms of 'no'.

Clearly, I was the lying type. I couldn't help it. It came easy to me.

Unlocking the door to our apartment with a very lost husband behind, I couldn't help but take my heels off, throw my clutch on the couch, and head straight to the kitchen, without giving him a single glance.

"Khwahish Ji," There he is with his 'Ji' again.

Did I mention, how every time Mr. Shehryar Mir Khan simply meant business with me he started addressing me with a 'ji' after my name?

The guy went oddly respectfully every time he got mad at me or wasn't fucking around.

Rolling my eyes, I just let out a "Hanji, Mr. Khan" I replied in return, awfully mimicking Isha's too sweet for my ear's voice.

I walked my way to the refrigerator, before taking a bottle out and grabbing a glass from the shelves, placing them both right on the slab at the very center of the kitchen.

Come to think of it why on earth is this thing so wrongly sized, it literally reaches a bit above my stomach, aren't kitchen slabs supposed to be at a length that is easily accessible to all?

Who said that? I could practically hear my insides mock my exact 5 feet figure.

Whatever.

Usually, I am not the type to grab a glass for drinking water if I'm being honest but the thing is, regardless of whatever emotions I feel for this man, every time I know his eyes are on me, I can't help but be the most civilized version of myself, or at least try to, very very consciously.

I can't help it okay! He- he brings out this weird feminine energy out of me -a stupid want of being someone who has got it all sorted. Someone who is so poised and prim and perfect.

Something he already is. Something Isha is.

Don't even get me started over my years of trauma and insecurities.

To keep it clean, even if the differentiation as lame as drinking water from a bottle or a glass. I'd do what makes me look civilized.

Something one would do in front of strangers...

Taking the bottle in hand I was about to pour myself some water when-

"I wanted to tell you something," My ears perked up as soon as those five words escaped his mouth.

"You did?" I couldn't help the eagerness with which those words came out.

I already asked you twice in the car! I thought to myself.

It's not that I wasn't aware of how abnormal of a couple we were but come to think of it, even in our three years of so-called-long-distance-marriage somehow he had always been the first person I would talk to when something even remotely nice happened to me, even if it meant nothing to him, even if it took me mere ten seconds to let him know about it, even if we weren't on the best of terms.

"I-" He paused, hand reaching up towards his forehead as he scratched the corner of his brows with his thumb.

He does that a lot I believe. Every time he doesn't know what to say.

"You-" I trailed off. I know I sound desperate!

"I-" I couldn't help but smile at him encouragingly, a tiny flutter at the pit of my stomach immediately creating havoc the moment his eyes finally met mine, his lips remaining agape as he simply just continued staring at me.

"I-"

What's taking him so long? 'I'm getting awarded, yayyy, horrayyy!' see, it's not that difficult right?

"I was thinking-"

Wait thinking? Oh no! Is he going to ask me out now? Something like 'I was thinking if you wanna come to the award show with me?'

Oh.my.god.

COULD THAT BE WHY HE IS HESITATING SO MUCH! Of course, I'd go with him, obviously! All he has to do is ask-

"I was thinking that the custard we had today was really good right?"

"YES! Yes I wi-"

Wait what-

No. No no no no, tell me I didn't say it.

C-custard?

Shaking my head I quickly brought myself to reality, cheeks immediately turning a good temperature at the embarrassingly big mouth that I am.

"Huh?"

"Hehh?"

"Sorry?"

"What?" I couldn't help but question, like the innocent soul that I am.

He paused, taking a step inside the kitchen,

"You," he paused shoulders shrugging a little "You were saying-you will-"

"I will! I'll ask Isha the recipe." I smiled, probably the most bitter and pretentious smile I had ever given him.

Out of all the things in the goddamn lunch, he has to like that ONE thing that woman ever learned how to make.

God, some people really are the favorite child.

"Oh." I could almost see the life leave his eyes as he almost in an instance took a step back.

Yeah damn right you loved the custard.

"I-" A nervous laugh escaped his lips while I too smiled, staring daggers at his eyes as I took a sip from my glass.

"I didn't know," his voice soft as his eyes carefully scanned my face.

Okay, one thing about me, I really can't keep my shit to myself.

"Isha told me about this award ceremony happening this Monday," There we go with my big mouth again.

I didn't bother looking at him as those words escaped my mouth. Well, since he is obviously not planning to tell me anything about it, I will let him know that it's too bad that I already do.

"Congratulations on that. Heard you get to take someone with you, right?"

He didn't reply.

Well, don't worry buddy, I'm not forcing myself upon you.

"I think you should take her with you." This time my eyes met his and for all I could see, too many emotions scattered in those brown orbs, none of which I could identify.

"What?" was the only word that escaped his mouth.

I shrugged, "It only makes sense, she's an important face of Dad's business, I'm sure she could add to your presence you know. Fair enough."

"I don't need it." This time his voice sounded firm, and concrete, making me immediately look away and focus on my glass instead.

"Why not?" I replied like the stubborn sulking kid I am.

"Why would I?" I could practically hear him scream a 'what is wrong with you?' behind his completely composed words.

"I just told you why." I snapped back,

"I'm not asking her to accompany me."

"I don't see why you wouldn't want that, you even liked the custard she made-"

I AM PETTY OKAY

"I didn't even know she made i-"

"Or do you want someone else to accompany you instead?" I need to calm the fuck down.

"What?" That voice. That tone. and that finality. I knew for a fact that was exactly the voice he must use every time he aimed to silence people around in his workspace.

"Is that why you don't want her to accompany you? Because you already asked someone else?" My grip on my glass immediately tightened as I took yet another sip like the psycho I was

Fun fact: I need to pee

"That is not what I meant-"

"It's okay you can tell me-"

"There is nothing to-"

"I don't mind, you can take whoever you want to, I was just hoping I could help you find someone-"

"Please don't,"

"Oh I won't because clearly you already have asked someone out I beli-"

"Oh yes. Yes. I have." He snapped. D-did he just snap at me?

I stopped the moment that one word escaped his mouth and before I know the feeling of losing my grip on a certain object, the sound of something tumbling from a height immediately registered in my brain, making a small gasp escape my lips while my eyes glued to the floor waiting for the impact.

A loud hiss escaped my lips the moment those shattered pieces of glass scattered right in front of my feet. I stood frozen, the adrenaline surging through me, my heart pounding in my chest.

The tension that had been simmering between us boiled over into a moment of stark- dangerous silence.

I don't like this.

I would be lying if I say I didn't feel the world around me stop for a moment. My eyes momentarily zooming at the shattered pieces of glass at my feet and ears oddly replaying the sound of the crash.

I looked up, to find those panicked orbs that immediately turned cold the moment they met mine, his eyes darkening in a way I hadn't seen before.

The man I had just had a potential argument with moved with a deliberate calmness, as he immediately loosened his tie, with his jaw tightly clenched while I couldn't help but direct my eyes towards his Adam's apple, before folding the sleeves of his white shirt up to his forearms.

While the sight of his strong, tanned arms bared and ready for action sent an unexpected shiver down my spine.

Get. A. Grip. Wish!

I couldn't help but almost drag myself out of the unholy and gutter thought process of mine as I shook my head attempting to move away.

"Don't."

He stopped short of the mess and looked at me, his voice low and commanding. I shook my head looking down at my feet and the mess. Wow.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't-I'll just get this clea-"

"As much as I love how you hate listening to me-" I stopped when his words registered in my brain, while he continued with his static voice.

"This isn't one of those moments, Madno."

At this point I think all it takes is for him to speak to me in his soft innocent 'why do you do this to me' business voice and I obey instinctively.

If that even makes sense.

Shutting my mouth for whatever remark my mouth was already prepared to throw, while my brain didn't even register, I decided to stay quiet.

I watched him as he carefully stepped over the shards, closing the distance between us and without another word, he bent down, eyes zeroing at mine, while I physically stopped myself from jumping at the feeling of his cold fingers brushing against the sides of my waist, as if almost bracing me for his touch before he completely caged me in the grip of his palm. My hands clung to his shoulders as he, casually scooped me up, lifting me effortlessly, placing me on the kitchen counter, my legs dangling over the edge.

And without another word grabbed a broom and began sweeping up the broken glass, each movement precise and controlled. Good thing the glass was almost empty.

I looked at the way the muscles in his arms flexed with the effort as he sincerely continued with the chore, while I shamelessly so, didn't tear my eyes away.

There was something intensely magnetic about him in this moment of quiet efficiency, a raw masculinity that both irritated and fascinated me.

Or should I say 'irritated because it fascinated me'.

Once the floor was clean and the waste disposed, the man I was just having an argument with turned his attention back to me.

A jolt rushed through my veins making me jump on my seat the moment his hand reached forward as he kneeled on one leg before gently lifting my foot, inspecting it for any cuts.

His touch surprisingly tender, a stark contrast to the earlier tension.

"Don't do that-" I couldn't help but attempt to pull my leg back, making the muscles of his jaw immediately pop up as his grip on my foot became a slightly firmer version of earlier. He didn't say anything as he simply continued with his inspection before brushing my feet with his hands right from my heel to the sole making me all the way more speechless.

"Don't! I-" Why is he touching my feet like that!

Of course, he didn't bother listening to me, however, when he was satisfied that I was unharmed, he lowered my foot and stood up on his own,

I frowned,

"You shouldn't touch someone's feet like that,"

Call me weird, unnecessary, old school whatever I just don't like people touching my feet in general, it makes me... uncomfortable.

"Someone?" He repeated after me, raising a brow, making me shrug.

"Uh yeahh" I replied throwing my ever so regular 'duh' tone at his making the lowest of chuckles escape his mouth as he stepped closer.

"You're my wife."

Something about the way he said those words made me almost believe that maybe there indeed was some meaning behind it but the condition in which our so-called-relation had already survived the tag of three years immediately gave the reality check I didn't ask for.

Although somewhere maybe in a tiny part of my heart, I couldn't help but wish for him to truly mean or acknowledge it.

Just kidding.

I don't. I don't. You don't wish anything, Wish!

I narrowed my eyes as he closed the distance between us before raising his hands in surrender as if asking for some permission making me nod absentmindedly.

What's that supposed to mea-

His hands found their way to my waist and almost immediately I felt his fingers brush against the fabric of my shirt, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through me. He grasped my waist firmly, his fingers pressing into my sides, and lifted me off the counter.

The movement was slow, deliberate, and I was hyper-aware of every point of contact between us as he lowered me to the floor.

Our eyes met, and the air between us crackled with unspoken words and unresolved emotions.

The intensity of his gaze held me captive, and I could feel the heat of his body so close to mine.

It was as if for a moment, all the argument, the broken glass, the date, my frustration, his silence, the fucking custard and everything else faded away. There was just us, standing inches apart.

For a change.

Just him and I.

Neither of us spoke, but the silence was filled with a thousand unvoiced thoughts. My heart raced, my breath shallow, as I waited for him to make the next move. His eyes burned into mine, and for a moment, it felt like the world had stopped spinning, leaving us suspended in a fragile, electrifying moment.

His hands still rested on my waist, the warmth of his touch branding my skin.

I hated this.

It had been three years of me being called his 'wife'. Of him being my 'husband' and yet here I was finding my stomach doing flips at his touch.

Are we even though? Are we even what husbands and wives are?

I felt a tremor run through me, my body reacting to the closeness, the intensity. He leaned in slightly, his breath mingling with mine, and at that moment I couldn't help but see something in his eyes that I had never seen in Shehryar Mir Khan.

I could see the conflict in his eyes, his struggle, the struggle between desire and restraint.

Time seemed to stand still as we stood there, locked in some weird silent battle of wills.

"Khwahish," There's something about the way he says my name...

"Shehryar," I replied,

"I-"

Words didn't escape his mouth as the sound of a shrill ringtone shattered the moment. We both froze for a second before I immediately pulled away.

Shehryar took a step back slightly, his eyes still locked on mine, frustration and reluctance clear in his expression as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He glanced at the screen, his jaw tightening and with a sigh, he answered it, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Yes?" he said, his voice clipped and impatient.

As he spoke, I felt the heat of the moment slowly dissipating, reality creeping back in. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart. Even as he handled the call, his hand stayed on my waist, grounding me, as if wanting to remind me of something that doesn't even exist between us.

'Yes. Yes I have.' his words repeated themselves in my mind as I shook my head, pushing his hand away and quickly turned on my heels walking out of the kitchen without sparing him a single glance.

And with that, with a wild beating heart, I couldn't help but almost run my way up the stairs.

What on earth were you thinking, Wish!?

You guys are anything but a goddamn normal couple for fuck's sake.

He probably even has someone he must be seeing, someone he literally just told you about!

Someone he asked to be his date!

So what if he is my husband, nothing about us is what a husband and wife should be like anyway!

Closing the door to our room behind me, I couldn't help but almost immediately lean back at it, a loud sigh escaping my lips as I palmed my face breathing in and out before his words echoed in my brain again.

'Yes. Yes I have.'

A small smile placed itself on my face before slowly turning downwards and I could feel a lump form at the back of my throat before I quickly shook my head.

'It's his life Khwahish, stop forcing yourself upon others!'

I could practically hear my insides mock, making me quickly rub my eyes before they could produce any salt and water.

Walking towards the dressing table, I looked at the mirror composing my so-called self-pity self.

"You don't need anyone. Remember, relationships are overrated." I said to myself.

Sorry, but a minor ted-talk is definitely my thing.

Grabbing a clutch from the drawer I pinned my hair up as I took off my accessories and was about to freshen up when the neatly wrapped 10-inch long sparkly box placed in the corner of the bed immediately caught my attention, with a black bow on it along with the tiniest note in a post it adorned with an awfully recognizable handwritten note in it.

'I hope you said yes,'

Holyshit-

-•❅•-

and you're the answer to all my questions, hear me out

-•❅•-

Don't hate me! If I were you I would too though! But I'm tryinggg! 

Also please please please do let me know what you think of this one and where do you think this is going I do like an interactive comment sectionnn

If got so many of you all to dedicate the next chapters tooo! Sorry I couldn't do it this time because I'm in a hurry to deliver this lmaooo (ik it's been months don't kill me) anywayyy

Till then take care! Love love looove you guys! 

ALSO! 

WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK OF THIS??

The current cover or this?

(P.S I'm a designer y'all I get bored of book covers like I already have an entire novel to be published lmao) lmk guys! okayyy?

acchha chalo byeeee!

xoxo

its sheewholoved!