:darmiyaan kuch nahi, phir kyu apna sa lage?

-•❅•-

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 O5 : a respected man

Getting dressed in a white top and cute olive skirt on a Saturday afternoon could still be an acceptable part of my list of top 10 things to do on a weekend, but getting dressed in a white top and cute olive skirt on a Saturday afternoon to go to my parent's place definitely wasn't something on that list of mine, and yet here I was, standing in front of the mirror, straightening the front of my 'what once used to look like bangs but has now grown to reach my chin' hair, making them fall on my face. Even though my hair is naturally pretty wavy, I don't feel confident enough until I torture it with heat. No, I don't have the perfect beach hair so it only makes sense I guess. 

Pairing my outfit with a watch and bracelet, I looked at the tiniest of hoops that adorned my big ears, as I gave yet another touch-up to my gloss. I'm no natural beauty, in fact. I'm the type to deck up for a 5 A.M class.

Yes. That bad.

"Fine enough," I said to myself, spraying my favorite scent on as I grabbed my wallet, cell phone, pocket perfume, and gloss, shoving them inside my tiny little handbag. It had beads! 

All done.

I looked at the time which read an exact 1:25 PM, making me nod to myself as I slipped into my not-so regular white heels and grabbed the house keys before descending down the stairs. Passing one look at the stove I made sure I wouldn't have to come back to a burning home, before I finally walked out of our apartment, locking it up and pressing the button to the elevator. 

"Good afternoon," I smiled at the guard, to which he greeted back, smiling politely.

Poor guy probably hates me from within given the cold glare my so-called husband passed his way yesterday when he asked to get my name registered as a 'visitor to 17 A1' in the reception, only to have Shehryar spit the words 'wife' 'resident' 'owner' and shit like it's a part of our education system or something. Like why would he know that? Why should the poor guard even care?

Just as I stepped out of the tower and stood outside the lobby my eyes immediately landed at the man standing in front of me, his back resting against the passenger door eyes glued to the gadget he carried on his right hand and the other inside the pocket of his dress pant. 

How could he stand there, and look so... 

Shaking my head I stopped my mind from ogling at some man as I stepped forward, 

"Hii," I waved, causing him to look up from his phone's screen, and almost immediately making my steps stop at his gaze. 

Have you ever been in one of those situations where in you are to attend an utmost important class, a class you can't miss and yet you somehow turn out to be super late for it, so once you reach the room, you have all eyes on you. 

If yes, then that is exactly what it felt like to have those pair of brown eyes stare back at you.

That is exactly what I felt when his brown eyes stared back at me.

For a second I felt my toes curl against my heals as his gaze momentarily dropped down, from my eyes to my lips, to the outfit I was wearing, almost unapologetically skimming me from top to bottom, making a wave of consciousness immediately hit my nerves.

It wasn't that he had never seen me in skirts, as much as some people might find those outdated, skirts had always been my go-to. At least since the past few years.

"Sorry I got lat-" 

"-Beautiful," I stopped the moment my ears perked up at his words,

"What?"

I immediately felt my heartbeat take off. This time he simply cleared his throat as shook his head looking away, brows slightly turning into a frown 

"The weather is beautiful today," he completed.

Oh.

God, what was I thinking??

I looked up at the burning cloud. To look at maybe but goddamn is global warming going to be the death of me.

I let out a hesitant laugh, "Yeah..?"

He just chuckled, opening the passenger door to me, I just smiled shrugging as I got inside, thanking him. "Umhm," he murmured before shutting the door beside me.

"Your mom called," I heard him say the moment he got on the driver's seat, and almost immediately I felt my smile drop. 

Why does she call him so much again?

"What," I paused, "Did she say?" I couldn't help but ask as my hand almost immediately started picking at my white nail paint. 

"She asked if you were coming too?" I didn't miss the weirded out amusement that clearly garnished his voice as he said those words, making me simply stare at my hands on my lap as a chuckle escaped my lips.

"Of course," I whispered,

I should've known this lunch could never be about me.

-•❅•-

"So Mr. Khan, how's work going?"

I clenched my jaw, as I tried my hardest to focus on the kebabs that blessed my plate, at least that's what I had been doing for the past 25 minutes of my being in this house of psychopaths. 

"Good," I heard "Mr. Khan" reply. 

Can she not get the hint already?? This is literally the hundred and tenth time he has been ending her conversation starter, starter pack for fuck's sake.

"If I come to your office, you think you can give me a job in your company, I'm sure I'll turn out to be a great asset, Mr. Khan,"

What's with that goddamn 'I just woke up voice,'?? You're talking to someone's husband!! Get a grip, girl!

"You could apply," Shehryar retorted like the oh-so-decent human he is making me immediately roll my eyes. 

'You could applyyy' I physically stopped myself from mimicking his words as I bit my lips, to control my absolute not-in-mind overflowing emotions.

'I should've known this lunch was never about me in the first place', 

The above statement was simply a thought when we were in the car, a statement which was backed by the absolutely distorted, empty-hearted, and disgust-in-disguise smile my parents passed my way the moment their eyes landed on me, a statement which was later sealed, stamped and confirmed the moment my eyes landed on the bright toothpaste smile that stood by their side. 

Were they really planning to play the cupid between my husband and my so-called step-sister? Like for real? 

"Kashish!! How are you??" Oh, how I hate that sweetness-overloaded voice of hers.

"Asha! You're here too! What a surprise!" I tried mirroring her voice since that is literally the only way she knows how I buy no shit she presents my way.  Her all-time-fame-smile dropped,

"It's Isha," she bit back making me immediately do the same,

"Khwahish," 

You see that? I hate her. Especially ever since I got married.

Anyway to cut the long story short, Isha and I are not only sisters from different mothers but also different fathers.

We used to be cousins at one point. 

Well, let's just say my mom married her dad, who once used to be my uncle, after my biological father passed away, while Isha's mother ran away leaving her manic of a husband and menace of a daughter behind, cut to, throwing all the bad luck on my head given, my mother anyway was never a fan of mine and clearly found her paradise among the psychos, kicking me out of her life and the so-called 'family'.

Not literally, but pretty much.

Honestly, I never really thought they hated me as much but,

The happiness that shone on their faces when they thought they were getting me married to a family that would probably have to sell my kidneys to earn their bread and butter, was enough to make me realize that all this group of three musketeers ever want in life, is just to see me suffer. 

You should've seen the disappointment in their faces when they realized that I didn't really get a manic, abusive, and an all-time Khwahish-hater, to be my husband.

"Do I? I can just be your P.A if you want me to?" She giggled, making her parents laugh at how cute and funny she was, however this time I joined them,

"You do realize you need a degree to be at that post, right?" I smiled at her, immediately snapping the smile away from all of the other's faces.

I didn't bother looking at the glare my mother passed my way from my right peripheral as I simply continued to smile at the girl who was seated beside my mother and just opposite to me, while shamelessly having her eyes on my husband, whom I believed I just heard chuckling from my right.

"I do have one," Isha gritted, clenching her jaw as she looked at Shehryar, holding her oh-so-composed smile up.

I chuckled taking a sip of water from my glass, "Yeah, I meant a degree that's not bought,"

All of a sudden there was silence surrounding me while the only sound being heard was that of someone being choked.

I don't know about others but my brain has always had the tendency to freeze in moments when my quick thinking and actions are to be tested, for example, right at the moment those words escaped my mouth, I was the first person to turn to my right at the sound of the man sitting beside me choking on his food.

My eyes widened as I looked at him cough, hand rushing towards his empty glass of water, eyes tearing up the slightest bit, and while the most sane thing to be done at that moment would be for me to pour him some water...

I did nothing.

I did nothing.

I could feel myself being baffled at how quick things were happening and how absolutely useless of a being I was until a glass of water was passed his way. 

I looked at Isha as she passed him her glass, eyes widening as she looked his way and got up from her seat.

Do I really lack basic human reactions of concern? Was I really that bad?

'Is he okay? What should I do? Did I do something wrong? Why can't I move?'

Memories of a particular someone cast upon my vision and almost immediately I could feel my breath getting heavy.

No no.

It's a shame how something as simple as someone coughing was capable of getting that reaction out of me- freezing

I could feel the tiny beads of sweat settle onto my forehead when my eyes met those familiar brown ones, and before I knew a hand grabbed onto mine, and instead of simply taking the glass that apparently I had been holding like a fool for minutes, he held my hand along with the glass moving it forward and closer to his lips, sipping from it instead, making my heart drop almost immediately.

I HAD THE WATER THIS WHOLE TIME!?

I looked at him wide-eyed as his cough seemed to have calmed down, and he let go of my hand.

Good thing I was eating with a fork for a change. 

"Are you okay, beta?" I heard my mother ask, to which he smiled and nodded while I couldn't help but look at my hand, that he just held. 

Why didn't I do anything? Why was I not quick enough? How could Isha offer him the water but I just sat there doing nothing?

I couldn't help but almost immediately be reminded of my mother's words the day I got married. 

"Love isn't something that comes to everyone and you Khwahish , you don't even know how to love, forget being loved."

I looked at the man beside me, could he be feeling the same right now? Sure passing him the water wouldn't mean that I was in love with him but wasn't care something people found equivalent to it?

Does he think I don't care? Does he feel glad that we weren't together for 3 years, glad he didn't have to bear with a person like me? Did he finally understand how incapable I am of just reacting like a normal human?

How incapable I am of being a normal wif-

"I'm okay Khwahish," 

I blinked at the soft voice that reached my ears. 

"Huh?" I mumbled, eyes zeroing at the man in front of me, unlike before his eyes shone, like he felt... content about something, like he liked the blank look I probably had on my face. 

"I said," he continued, hand reaching forward, touching the corner of my mouth, gently wiping something off my face as he completed, "I'm okay,"

I looked at the green chutney I probably had on my face which now grazed his thumb but I just couldn't help but focus on his words instead.

For a change.

"It wasn't your fault." He repeated those words, slow and steady. his eyes boring into mine, like he was putting too much effort into attempting to put some sense in me.

Like he knew I needed them.

"Theek hai?" Okay? he whisper checked again, this time making a small smile immediately graze my lips, as I unconsciously repeated after him, "Theek hai." Okay.

Seriously, Wish? You just let the guy choke to death and all you do is mindlessly agree with an 'okay??'. I looked away from those piercing eyes which for some reason always managed to keep me caged, as I bought my attention back to my almost empty plate.

The small smile stubbornly not bothering to leave my face, that is until my eyes landed on Isha, shamelessly gazing at the man on my right.

What is the issue with her for fuck's sake- my jaw clenched as I followed her line of vision only to find it stop at Shehryar who seemed to be loving the food considering the smoothness with which he softly sucked on his thumb. 

Wasn't he having his food with a fork? 

Whatever.

I shook my head and as if on instinct my eyes snapped back at the woman in front of me. 

A grown-ass woman acting like a lust-struck puppy by looking at someone else's husband! 

He's mine! 

I mean... in papers at least!

A louder than necessary scoff escaped my lips, gathering almost everyone's attention, but I didn't care about others. 

I clicked my tongue, a soft mocking chuckle escaping my lips the moment our eyes locked. 

She looked like she could use a bullet or two, to aim at me of course.

Too bad I'm not dying, nor am I ever going to ask my so-called husband to marry my so-called sister on my death bed. Why do girls in movies even do that though?? 

'YOU WISH' I mouthed those words finishing with a wink as I took the last bite on my plate, making a very angry Isha almost jump out of the table in the loudest way possible and leaving a very happy me behind. 

Peace.

-•❅•-

I looked at the clock that read a good 6:30 PM, making a sigh of relief escape my lips, his words ringing in my head.

"I'll pick you at 7?"

Guess it only takes half an hour more to absolutely escape this psychotic ward huh. 

I smiled to myself, stretching my legs out onto the center table while being seated on the armchair. There wasn't much that I loved about this so-called big house that my parents bought with their hard-earned black money, but something about the lawn was completely different.

It bought peace. A word you wouldn't find a second after you step inside those four walls. Shehryar left once lunch was done, and I didn't bother stopping him, as much as I would want his company I could be the mean girl to make him stay with my so-called family for even a second longer. That explains how, while he was busy attending his meetings, I was stuck here with two women and one man eating my head off. 

Why didn't I leave? I wonder why too...

at least I'm alone no-

"I see your husband isn't here yet?" 

Letting a small sigh escape my lips I crossed my hands in front of my chest as I heard those footsteps approaching.

"Not yet," I passed my mother a tight-lipped smile while she settled on the two chairs opposite to mine with her daughter.

"Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know, we're planning to throw a get-together the coming Saturday, you better not make excuses, your husband and in-laws are already invited."

I frowned,

"A get-together? What for?" I couldn't help but question.

"You're here." I heard my mother say, and as much as I wanted to believe her, I just couldn't ignore the fact that I had known this woman all my life. 

"Sure," I chuckled.

A party for me and I'm probably the last person to know about it. 

I didn't say anything and simply let her continue.

"Well we would've kept it sooner but given you guys have that event to attend I didn--"

"What event?" I frowned at her words again,

Something about what I said probably ended up striking a hit given the way two pairs of eyes snapped and widened at me, the glow that had been missing on their faces, immediately hitting home.

"It's true then," I heard my mother mutter.

"I told you so!" Isha shrieked. 

"What's true?" I couldn't help but question, as I sat up on the chair.

Their faces seemed to be glowing as they looked my way,

"You're not his plus one," Isha whispered softly before coming back to her senses and letting out a loud, "God, he didn't even tell you about the event, did he now!?"

She snickered, "Imagine not knowing about your own husband being awarded!"

As if the sickening cheerfulness in her voice wasn't enough to make my head spin, I couldn't help but slightly feel the pang in my chest at those words.

What event... what award? 

Well, it's not like I expect him to tell me about it but how do they know...

"I knew it!" I heard my mother and Isha giggle before she looked back at me this time a bitter smile playing on her lips and sheer despise in her eyes.

"What reputed man would want to be associated with a criminal now?"

I was about to shut her up but something about those last two words immediately made a knot tie at the back of my throat.

 It has been years since I last heard someone use those words for me.

Criminal.

"Right mumma," She turned towards my mother and even though I had always been aware of who and what my mother was I couldn't help but somewhere deep down hope for the least of support from her side. 

"Right baby, no man would want-," The sound of a car entering the driveway hit my ears, making me immediately grab my bag as I got off the seat and straight up went towards the car not bothering to throw them a single glance. 

I looked at the man who got out of the car, a small and slightest of playful smile dancing on his lips as he raised his hand, pointing at the watch, that read a perfect 7.

"Right on time," he smiled as he held the door open, 

Don't ruin his mood, Don't ruin his mood, Don't ruin his mood, Don't ruin his mood

"Do you wanna say something?" I couldn't help but blurt those words out the moment we were at an arm's distance,

Please say yes,

It's not that I care about whether or not he wants to take me as his plus one or whatever, I just, I just would've preferred him telling me about it rather than knowing it from two of my least favorite existing creatures.

"No," he frowned questioningly as he looked at me in the eye, making me nod.

It's not like they were wrong though, who would want to be associated with a criminal, again.

"Oh."

-•❅•-

there's nothing between us, yet you make me feel like you're mine

-•❅•-

okay i'm not gonna lie now a LOT has happened in the past two months and as much as I would want to talk about I just can't and even though that is not at all an excuse for such late update, I'd still be shameless enough to as for an apology regardless! I'm so sorry my loves, I got too busy with my personal stuffs and then of course my internship which has been consuming all my time and let's not forget how final year is no joke, I'm trying I swear I really am trying to make time, please please please forgive meeee!!

love love love you all to the moon and back and I hope all of you heal from stuffs you can't or don't talk about!

remember me loves you again!

acchha chalo byeeee!

xoxo

its sheewholoved!