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❛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙ. ʙ. ᴇꜰꜰᴇᴄᴛ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ
ᴍᴇ, ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ꒱　


❝ DON'T MAKE ME PUT
YOU IN TIME OUT! ❞

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Sunday afternoons at age five were Five and Eight's favorite times in their early childhood as they were allowed rare extra free time due to One being stuck in training with their father. Pogo never made them work hard so they spent their time in Five's room doing schoolwork. Or, more accurately, the boy was doing both his and Eight's math homework while the girl laid on his bed on her back with her hair falling to the ground as the blood rushed to her face.

"This is so boring!" she whined for the third time in two hours.

Five rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't be bored if you did your homework."

Eight pouted from the bed but the red face made her expression less effective. "But I'd get it all wrong. Besides, shouldn't you be done by now?"

Sticking out his tongue in a surprisingly childish gesture— for him, anyway— he shuffled the papers together and placed them neatly on his desk. "I'm finished now, dear." While the nickname was meant to be sweet, the sarcastic way he said it ruined the effect. 

"No need to be so snippy," she replied.

Five sighed as he turned to look at the upside-down girl and asked, "what did you have in mind?"

Eight shrugged despite her complaints. "I don't know. I just wanted to do something with you."

☂☂☂

Looking at Five now in her kitchen, Alexa studied him for a minute. "So, what's our plan?"

Giving into the thought of them being a team again, the boy allowed a small smile to soften his next words. "There is no our, Lexa. I have to do this on my own." A look of irritation grew on her face and opened her mouth to rebuke him— most likely—but he beat her to it by adding hurriedly: "I'll ask for your help when I need it. Right now, though, I'm going to get information on my own. I'll see you tomorrow."

He left her alone in her apartment once more and the blonde let out an exasperated sigh. He really is going to be the death of me, she thought.

☂☂☂

The next day found Alexa back at the Academy even though she didn't know exactly why she'd gone back. Alexa had already called the school she worked at to let them know she wouldn't be coming in all week which was fine because of the death of her father. She supposed the lack of responsibilities brought her to see her family again even though yesterday had been enough.

Heading up the stairs, she nearly slipped when Five brushed passed her saying, "good, you're here. I need your help."

Confused but pleased, she followed him up the stairs. "What happened this morning?" she asked as clearly it hadn't gone as planned.

The boy gave an irritated sigh. "I need you to be my mom," he explained.

If she'd been eating, Alexa would've choked. "What?!" she exclaimed with an appalled expression on her face.

Smirking slightly at her reaction, he said, "it's not that bad of a concept, is it? And besides, it's only for an hour." They passed by Klaus' room where man himself was currently laying on his bed doing nothing. Five stepped inside. "Get up. I need your help."

The older man lifted his head but didn't move. "And why would that be, little bro?" and then: "hey Lexi."

The blonde nodded to her brother while Five let out another irritated sigh. He already regretted this decision. "We need to look like a happy family and unfortunately, you're the only one available for my father."

"Yeah, no thanks," came the reply. Klaus' head dropped back down on the bed.

Five was getting more frustrated and made a move to leave, but Alexa put her hand on his shoulder to stop him. She looked at her lazy brother before she announced, "we'll pay you."

At that, Klaus jumped up from the bed like he had all the energy in the world. "Now we're talking! Name the price, sister dearest."

Rolling her eyes at his antics, she replied, "twenty bucks."

Looking thoughtful, he countered, "half of that, then doubled."

Giving him a 'how stupid can you be' look, Alexa nodded. "Deal."

Klaus clapped his hands together excitedly. "Perfect! What shall I wear?"

"Something professional. Meet me in my room when you're ready," was Five's reply. Grabbing Alexa's wrist, he pulled her out of the room and down the hall, away from his brother before he spoke again, "you're not seriously going to pay him, are you?"

A mischievous smile pulled at her lips. "Am I? I named the price but didn't promise he'd get it."

Hiding his own amused smile, Five pulled the woman into his room to wait, which wasn't long. Klaus appeared in the doorway wearing a flowered, ruffled shirt and tight black leather pants which Five looked disapprovingly at.

"I thought I said to wear something professional?"

The older man faked offence. "This is my best outfit!"

Five let out another irritated sigh. "We'll raid the old man's closet."

The three filed out of the room as Klaus shrugged. "Whatever, as long as I get paid."

Alexa shot a look at her brother's back. "When the job is done."

As they went down the hall, Klaus said, "okay, but I just want to be clear on the finer de-tails. We just gotta go into this place and pretend to be your loving parents, correct?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"What's our cover story? How did Lexi and I meet?" He cast a look at his sister and the man gasped in excitement. "I know— the disco!"

The blonde rolled her eyes. "I would never be caught dead at a disco."

Her brother ignored her. "How old were we? Sixteen, young and terribly misguided?" Then he giggled. "Oh! And the sex was Ah-mazing!" He wiggled his eyebrows at her. The woman snorted in disgust. 

"You wish. I'd be the one doing all the work!" she retorted. 

"What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain. Don't encourage him, Lexa," Five scolded them. He didn't even want to think about that. Even now, the thought of Alexa with anyone else made his stomach turn despite the fact that it shouldn't.

"Don't make me put you in time out!" Klaus called as the boy walked away.

☂☂☂

In the doctor's office, Klaus and Alexa sat in the two patient's chairs while Five stood behind the blonde woman.

"Without the client's consent I simply can't help you," the man told them.

The boy leaned forward. "We can't get consent if you don't give us a name."

"Well, it's not my problem. Sorry, there's really nothing more that I can do."

Alexa's eyes narrowed in distaste at the man's apathy. At least he could sound a little sympathetic and not be a major dick about it. If he knew exactly what was going to happen in a week he'd probably be more willing to help.

Klaus apparently had had enough as well since he cut in, "what about my consent?"

"'Scuze me?"

"Who gave you permission—" Here, he got fake-choked up. "—to lay your hands on my wife and son?"

"What?" the doctor and Five said together.

"You heard me."

"I didn't touch your family," the man insisted.

"Oh, really? Well then how did he get a swollen lip? And how did my wife get a black eye?"

"He doesn't have a swollen lip," he protested as Klaus stood up. A sick feeling rose in Alexa's throat as she realized what he was going to do. At least she was safe, although it would be embarrassing for Klaus when his plan backfired. True to form, her brother gave a heavy-handed hit to Five's face to reveal a now bloody lip.

He stepped toward Alexa. She had risen out of her chair in shock despite knowing what he was going to do but the man was stopped by a tight grip on his wrist. Looking down at his now-younger brother, Klaus saw a fierce anger in the boy's eyes but his tone was deathly calm. "Don't touch her."

Alexa smiled softly at his protectiveness; her brothers always seemed to forget that she was untouchable.

"I want it, name please, now," he said, turning to the startled professional instead.

"You're crazy," he exclaimed in a shaky voice.

He laughed. "You got no idea."

Klaus looked down at the doctor's desk and picked up a snow globe. "Peace on earth, that's so sweet," he observed before he smashed it against his face and grunted in pain.

The doctor scrambled for the phone and began to dial a number. "I'm calling sec—"

Klaus' hand stopped him as he brought the phone to his ear and yelled into the phone instead: "there's been an assault in Mr. Bigg's office and we need security now— Schnell!" Alexa's brother tossed the phone on the desk. "Now here's what's going to happen. In about sixty seconds, security guards are going to burst through that door. They're going to see a whole lotta blood and they're going to wonder what the hell happened—"

Alexa cut in, "—and I'm going to say you beat my family bloody as they tried to stop you from raping me."

She and Klaus exchanged a quick smile as her brother continued: "you're going to do great in prison Grant. Trust me, I've been there. A little piece of chicken like you, oh my god— you're going to get passed around like a—" He wiggled his hips before he finished, "you're gonna do great, that's all I'm saying."

Shakily, the doctor said, "Jesus, you guys are real sick bastards."

Completely serious, Klaus replied, "thank you."

As they made their way to the files, Five smirked at his siblings' performance; hopefully it would get them somewhere.

☂☂☂

It didn't, though, and all of their efforts found them leaving the building.

"I was good though, right? 'What about my consent, bitch?" Klaus was saying as he smiled happily.

"It doesn't matter," Five said.

"What, what, what? What's the big deal with this eye anyway?" the man asked.

"There's someone out there who's going to lose an eye in the next seven days and they're going to bring about the end of life on this earth as we know it," Five snapped as he walked away in frustration.

"Yeah, can I get the twenty bucks like, now, or what?" Klaus asked, looking at his sister.

She gave him a disbelieving look in return. "The world ends in a week and all you can think about is getting high?" She really should've expected this from him but she couldn't help being disappointed.

"Well, I'm also quite hungry— tummy's a-rumblin, grrr," her brother added as he rubbed said stomach.

Five gave him an incredulous look. "You're useless!"

"Oh, come on. You need to lighten up, old man!" Klaus exclaimed.

Alexa sat down on the steps next to her non-useless brother as a sudden thought occurred to the man. "Hey, you know I'm just now realized why you're so uptight— you must be horny as hell," Klaus said as he came to sit next to them. "All those years by yourself. It's gotta screw with your head. I mean, look at Lexi. She hasn't been with anyone since you left, but she's also not as much of a prick as you are. It must come from being around all those children."

Alexa gave her brother a 'really' look— he didn't have to oust her like that! A light blush covered her cheeks as she glanced at Five, who had a surprised— slightly guilty?— expression on his face as he admitted, "I wasn't alone."

Both siblings turned to him in surprise and the blonde felt her heart sink. She should've been glad he'd had someone especially since she got to be around so many people, but it still hurt. Swallowing harshly, she steeled herself to ask, "who?"

"Her name was Dolores," Five answered with a distant look on his face. "We were together for over thirty years."

Alexa felt a sharp pricking at the back of her eyes and forced herself to blink it away. Dolores got to be with Five for longer than I have, the blonde thought miserably.

"Thirty years?" Klaus exclaimed. "Wow! The longest I've been with someone was three weeks and that's only because I was tired—"

But that was all Alexa heard as Five's fingers wrapped around her wrist again and together they vanished from the steps.