Regret.

Yes, that feeling that usually follows after a choice or a decision has been made. A feeling that i can feel crippling in my body.

I really shouldn't have agreed to Allison's crazy idea. Now my palms are ice cold and I am totally sweating my face off. Ally has given me the job to find out some black shoes hence I am half inside my closet surrounded by footwear.

Finding a pair of shoes that I pleasantly love, I crawl out of the shoe closet. Soon after, I wished I should have stayed in there a little longer. That dress was not what the picture showed. It was blaring red and had a huge slit at the stomach.

I could never wear that dress. It will reveal everything that I had so safely locked away from the world.

I feel thick beads of sweat coat my face while my palms resemble a frosty night in December ,"Ally I can't possibly wear that. " The words came out a decibel equal to a whisper.

Allison looks at me as confusion flashes through her eyes until it lit up with understanding. She tried to explain, " That's not your dress, I brought a few options for myself ."

I instantly felt all the pressure points of my body untwist and the frown traded for a calm smile. " where is mine?" I asked.

Her hands dive into a bag while I make my way towards her hurriedly. Instantly her hand brings out a dark fabric into my point of vision. It was neatly folded while my eyes scanned to comprehend the texture and length of it.

" Go get dressed ", she handed me the bag. I looked into the bag again while moving to the closet to get dressed.

While moving out of the closet my fingers kept gripping the fabric of the dress trying to pull it down . In the process the spaghetti strap stretched to expose more of my chest.

One look at my discomfort and Ally cackled. My eyes just looked at her with complete annoyance. That's when she stopped her laughing session, " Why don't you stop pulling it?" She adviced still trying to stifle her laughter.

" I can't! I'm going to look like such an attention seeker." I whined to her, revealing my problem.

" No, you won't! She spoke as if offended. " All you are gonna look is gorgeous, and there is nothing wrong with that."

"Ally but-" I was cut off before I could finish whining again.

" Yes Jade, you need to get your butt over here so that I can finish up your makeup. So stop whining", she interjected. As soon as she turned around it took me a few to realize that she was dressed. She did not have the blaring red dress on instead it was midnight blue and nothing at the back.

" Allison, you look like a goddess. " I complimented her, still dazed by how her dress clung to her body and how her entire toned back was exposed. I realised that she had her make-up done while I was contemplating inside the closet if I should come out with the dress on.

She looked at me again, " get here!", and I followed suit.

After about 20 minutes, it was 10 minutes past 7, my eyes resembled dark smoke, my lips nude and my hair hung in loose curls.

I quickly get up to slip my black Chelsea boots while Allison gave me a look of disgust. No way am I wearing heels with this dress.

As soon as we got out of my front gate, the leaves under my feet crackle while I pull my black leather jacket closer to my body for warmth. Taking bigger steps we reached Allison's car with her not waiting a second to steer past my house.

"I'm still not having a good feeling about this Ally."I say to Allison." can we take another lap around the house?" I pleaded.

"No! No more laps for you", she said sternly. She rests her hand on my shoulder ,"Jade, it's senior year . You need to live your life again. You need to get over your past at some point? Why not now . Give a chance to your life ."

I kept silent . I very well knew she was right but I was hesitant to accept that but can I argue with her ?

No ! Absolutely not !

"I guess you are correct .I might as well give it a shot ." I agree sighing and she jumps with happiness, but I warned her playfully ,"Lets go before I change my mind."

She jumps up and down ,"Let us ."
With that, she drives towards a parking space. There were not many parking slots available. We took the one at the rightmost corner and got off the car.

We arrive in front of this huge house . It's way bigger then mine. And I can already hear the music from the parking. Second thoughts creep into my mind.

Do I belong here? I don't know.

Allison sensed my hesitation and discomfort with one look at my visage. She takes my hand whispering " I will be by your side throughout" and with that I felt safe enough to dare walk inside the house. As we enter Allison takes my jacket off me piling it on my hand.

My nose picked up the strong intoxicating smell of alcohol in the air. I look around to see people dancing. Some groups playing games on a pool table, few couples near the wall or on the stairs, making out. I follow Ally towards a not so noisy area. She turns towards me , "Jade wait here. I will go get us drinks ." With that, she left and my dumb self had no idea what to do next.

How to socialize? It's been so long I don't even know how to socialize anymore.
I feel like a fish out of water and it's hard to breathe.

From the corner of my eye, I see a random guy walking towards me already looking he drank gallons of alcohol, "Hey sexy . You look like an absolute snack. Wanna dance? " he said.

I move far from him because of my social anxiety mixed with fear and the strong smell of alcohol in his breath , "I'm not interested ."I say firmly, not showing how scared I was.

He moves closer making me jump out of my skin, "Oh come on! You are no fun. It's just a private dance. Let's have some fun ."

I move further away when he holds my hand and the blood drained out of my body; my plan to fight changed to flight but I continue to hold the facade, "I told you I'm not interested. Leave me alone ." But the drunk guy didn't budge, instead kept moving closer.

I felt paralyzed when the guy kept one hand on my shoulder while the other moving its way down towards my thigh. I try shoving his hands off me but his raspy hands stayed on its place not giving up . My panic rose to its brim and my mind went back to that cursed night.

"Come on jade, you need to be fun. Come on!" Many voices spoke.

" Just let me go." I pleaded to defend myself.

" Oh don't be a loser, just come sit on my thigh baby " And I get tugged onto harshly.

" Hey stop! " A third voice interjected bringing me back to the present, helping me subdue the panic inside my mind.
The raspy voice made me turn my head towards the direction of it's origin , as he cuts in, "You heard the lady, now get lost ."

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Hey, cuties. I hope you are enjoying this. The few people that are reading this, I love you all for giving this book a try. You guys absolutely mean the world to me. Please share some love and drop some comments. Also, stay safe. Borahae 💜.