4
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Victoria vented to herself on the way to the bleachers. "Who the fuck do they think they are? Telling me what to do. Speaking to me as if I could even pass as their equal." She stopped and faced Shirley. "You want to talk to me, you go where I want."

"That fine with me."

Victoria chuckled and continued. When they reached behind the bleachers, Shirley saw Victoria checking her then-muddy shoes.

"It doesn't matter. I'll get a new pair by tomorrow." When the tall girl didn't even give a reaction, Victoria continued, "What did you want to talk about? A diet plan? You want a makeover, Sticks? Well, tough luck, because not even I could save you."

Shirley took in a breath that left her quivering. She straightened her posture and tried to ignore her trembling lips. "I am no good at English—"

"No shit."

"So I will be direct," Shirley said, ignoring her bully. "From moment you saw me, you made school and life terrible for me. Why?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you. I'm offended that you think I do."

"I don't—but I want to know because you hurt me very badly, emotional and physical. I am always in pain because of you." Shirley spoke with care. "You have ruined me, taken everything away and I do not even know why, you're... motivation, your reason. Why you hurt me and mock me and shame me all the time?"

Disgust bubbled on the short girl's face. "Ah, Sticks. You're even more pathetic than I thought."

"You have made me so."

"I haven't made you shit." Victoria's face still reflected distaste. "I admit, maybe I make your life a little harder, but I can't control how you react to that. I can't defeat you unless you allow me to, and you do. Every single time. You're pathetic, Sticks. And that is not my fault."

Shirley's lips parted, and her eyes grew lost in the distance. The thunder of rejoicing teenage boys filled her ears. She looked back at Victoria.

"I understand and agree." Shirley meant that. That was why she chose to point the gun at herself instead of Victoria. "I can't explain why, but there's just something I need... from you."

The short girl raised a brow. "Need?"

"Yes, I need closure. At first, I want you to apologize for hurting me, but I understand now that I can't control you. Now, I only want you to tell me why. Why you hurt me so bad?"

"I'm not gonna answer that."

"Why?"

"I don't feel like it and you can't force me to, so I won't."

"It's a simple thing I ask for, Victoria. I don't understand why you not... would not answer." Victoria shrugged. It was weird seeing Victoria all alone. Suddenly, she seemed small to Shirley... so weak. "Are you ashamed of your reason?"

"I am ashamed of no parts of myself."

"I don't believe that."

For a split second, Victoria became completely unravelled. Her soul was revealed through her eyes, and Shirley saw it. She saw a human, a little girl. But then the moment passed. "I don't care what you believe."

"I'm not going to banter with you all day. All I ask is very simple question."

"You're acting weird."

"Why you so set on avoiding the question? Are you nervous?" Shirley glared deeper into Victoria's eyes. "Is it me?"

"What?"

"Do I make you nervous, Victoria?"

She cackled, "Oh, please!"

Shirley stepped in closer, and Victoria's face slipped into neutrality. "Answer me," the tall girl demanded.

"No," Victoria replied firmly.

Shirley used Victoria's nerves to fuel the fire that burned brilliantly within her soul. "Answer me!"

"No."

"Victoria!"

"No!"

"You are a child."

Victoria smiled. "And you are a dirty, little French whore."

"Answer the question!" Adrenaline was sent zipping through her veins to collide with her suppressed rage. "Tell me why you do it, Victoria! Why're you so evil? How? How can you live with yourself after all you did? How do you sleep at night?"

"With rain sounds. You should try it. It's wonderful." A malicious smirk slowly found itself on Victoria's face. Shirley's heart was banging in her ears. Her emotions were starting to overwhelm her. "You wanna know how I do it? Fine. You wanna know why? It's simple. Just. Because. I. Can." Shirley's face embraced confusion and irritation in a synchronous blend. "You see, you will never understand that, Shirley. Because you will never have that power. You're weak and pathetic and worthless... and would probably end up being a disease-spreading whore." Victoria leaned in. "Just. Like. Your. Mother."

Suddenly, Shirley's palm reddened with the slap she delivered hot across Victoria's face. It was red and throbbed vehemently, but gosh, was it satisfying!

Victoria's face had been sent to the left. Shirley tried to contain the emotions that ran rampant inside her as Victoria held onto the blemished area.

Her head slowly returned to Shirley before she lunged at her. Shirley wouldn't allow such a tiny girl to attack her, so she fought back. The girls choked and punched and wrestled until Shirley finally overpowered her and sent her falling into the muddy grass.

Shirley's chest rose and fell in exasperation.

Some footballers noticed Victoria's blaring dismay and filed in, to her aid.

Shirley was filled so much with adrenaline and power that she believed she could take them all out. She no longer cared for that voice in her head. She no longer trusted it, because all this time it told her she could never overpower Victoria, but now there she was, standing over Vicky's defenceless body.

The boys came and Shirley stood there, prepared. They learned of the situation and turned to the tall French girl. She huffed, her heartbeat still throbbing in her ears—her stance braced.

•••

Shirley smelt the mud and the grass as she lay among it. Her limbs were outstretched and ruined as tears, in pursuit of gravity, trickled across her face to blend with what lay below. There was too much inner turmoil to even feel a scratch. Shirley—no matter how hard she tried to shake the reality—was ultimately defeated.

How could she possibly see her way from such a point?

Just then, the grass crunched lightly beneath someone's weight. The walk was slow and purposeful. It was Victoria Kensington: the mud cracking from her skin as it dried; the blood darkening beneath her nose and left cheekbone.

She sat beside Shirley and started gently stroking the tall girl's hair. It was just the two of them on the wide expanse of the field.

The clouds were becoming tinted with an orange hue as the winds cooled both their bodies. Shirley relaxed into the comfort of her demon, relishing in the conflicting feelings that seemed to have heated her soul for so long.

Victoria finally spoke. "Life is unfair, Shirley. People try to make it seem as if we're all equal, but we're not. You got your taste of power today. It must have been exhilarating, but it was merely an inkling. Sadly, that's all you'll ever muster up. What I have, despite my age and size, is true power. I was born into it and grew with it; it is entangled within my being. So you may be able to push me over and maybe even dominate me with words, but you will never... be more powerful. You will never win. I need you to accept that."

Shirley hid her face in the browning grass and sobbed. Victoria consoled her.

Shirley looked up at Victoria. "Then... what do I do with myself?"

"If I were you, I'd end me. I can't fathom an existence so dim, but you can also just hang your head low and continue to put up with it." Victoria got up. "Whatever you choose would please me. Goodbye, Shirley."

And with that, she left the tall, skinny girl at the furthest corner of the field. In the evening. All alone with nothing else but her foreboding thoughts.

•••