╰┈➤✧.* IN WHICH
Voldemort decided to fuck up the Potter's life but gets fucked up instead [CRACK HUMOUR]

꒱࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

"Avada-" That noseless creep began, intending to kill James Potter, only to be taken by surprise to see a full grown stag before him. The creature whinnied in indignation before lowering it's antler's to level with the egg faced wizard before him.

Right before running him through. And then the stag was gone, and James Potter stood in the doorway where it had been, cleaning blood off his glasses.

"Is he dead yet?" Lily asked, peeking around the corner, with Harry's fist tangled in her hair.

"Very much so," James replied. "Could you call Sirius and Remus? Not Peter though."

"Obviously, he betrayed us." Lily said, pulling Harry's fist out of her hair.

The Daily Prophet, November 1, 1981

HEADLINES: DARK LORD KILLED AT POTTER RESIDENCE! A REIGN OF DARKNESS OVER?

He Who Must Not Be Named found dead at The Potter's house in Godric Hollow, when on a mission to assassinate the family of three (four, insists a persistent Sirius Black)

The body of The Dark Lord was found on the front door of the Potter's which some mysteriously shaped holes on his chest, which James Potter insists were from the 'charm' that backfired on the Darkest Wizard alive.

Sirius Black seen high-fiving friend (husband, insist both Lily Potter and Remus Lupin) James as Lily Potter kicks the body of Voldemort. Harry Potter seen telling Alice and Frank Longbottom how The Dark Lord doesn't have a nose because he was involved in an intense game of 'Got Your Nose.' 
Sources are yet to verify the boy's claims.

Traitor, Peter Pettigrew (we have been instructed to add 'f****** rat a** h** by a very adamant Dorcas Meadowes while Mary MacDonald shields Harry's ears) has been apprehended and is under interrogation

The 'charm' is still undetected, however James and Lily Potter both maintain there is no other possible explanation for the events of the night. Reasons for the backfire of the 'charm' are being debated by the experts in the ministry.

They also insist we arrest a Severus Snape, for 'being a smarmy git'

Rita Skeeter was dragged from the scene today for allegedly trying to get a DNA sample of Voldemort.

Prosecution for Ex-Death Eaters, nonexistent of course, are detailed on page three. Repayment to all those who lost loved ones in the war, also non existent can be found on page four.

The Potter Family is currently unavailable for questions, but Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Dorcas Meadowes, Emmeline Vance, Mary MacDonald, Frank Longbottom and Alice Longbottom have made it very clear to us that they will be there at all times.

Causes for death of the Dark Lord are being discussed by the Ministry, and interviews from each of the people involved will be available next week, after the profanity and off topic ramblings have been thoroughly removed.

a/n: ahahahhahaha i hope you liked that!! its really short, but consider it an apology for the last chapter. love from ana