Lmao bitches call me a simp for saying Ei is a girlboss even though she slays (signora)😘

Warnings: grass, your mom, Assistant sama, Fyodor bbg😘, Virgin behaviour, Author simping for reverse 1999 chars and more that I can't be bothered to put.

A/N: Author knows nothing about a bar since I ain't a drunkard.

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"Haiiyah!" Said you in an asian mom style, rolling sideways in the grass on the mountain. Renovated mountain that is.

*Ding ding*

'You really seem to enjoy this :)'

"Hell yeah I do!" You continued rolling on the grass with a pleasant expression. "It's been such a long time since I touched grass tbh."

*Ding ding*

'Indeed it has. What about your plan of joining the doa?'

"Ah... that?" You paused as you started to wonder about something. "Well, I trust that Assistant sama will guide me on that matter." You answered after some thought.

*Ding ding*

*Heheh. You surely are sly with your words. Since you trust me so much darling, I'd say we head for an elegant bar for some extravagant wine now. Just trust in me, you'll find your way of invitation to the doa there (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧'

"A bar huh...?" You sighed, closing your eyes with furrowed eyebrows, hands done in a thinking position. "It's always the sussy places I swear..."

Timeskip!

Brought to you by Y/n showing off her ultimate alpha wolf rizz to her uwu kittens.
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...

"Woah man... this place lowkey gives millionaire bar vibes..." you mumbled, slightly awed at the elegance of the bar situated in front of you.

*Ding ding*

'Hehe... drink your hear out here since I'll be the one paying pookie. Afterall, you only deserves the best don't you darling ᵔᴗᵔ ?'

"Ugh-!" An imaginary arrow pierced your heart. "Assistant sama... please don't make me fall for you harder..." You said with a hand on your forehead.

*Ding ding*

'Heh. I'll try.'

You turned away with a slight blush. 'Oh my god... why can I hear them smirking...?'
You thought but just brushed it off as you still have yet to enter the bar, where something important is definitely gonna happen.

...

"Man... this seriously feels so rich..." you said, a bit sweatdropping at the fact that it was a bit different from what you thought of when a bar's image came to your mind.

"Assistant sama, are u sure that it's okay for me to waste all ur money?" You asked, confirming the fact one last time.

*Ding ding*

'Dw bbg spend all the money you have, idc 😘'

"Oh what a blessing it is to have an Assistant such as you pookie😭🥺"

Ahem. Enough of that (not). Moving on, Y/n talked (more like flirted) a bit more with Assistant sama before ultimately deciding to just go inside the bar.

La Extravagante.

That was the name of the bar.

'Yep. Def an extravagant name... wait, isn't "Extravagante" translated to extravagant in English from French?' You thought as your mind wandered to grass knows where from just that one thought. You were pretty easy to get distracted, though also quite hard at times. It just depended on the situation, really.

You walked in after you were done spacing out literally in front of the bar, it was embarrassing to be just gazing off to nowhere in the middle of probably someone's way.

Afterwards, you were a bit taken aback by the extravagance of the bar, seems like the name really was the best suited. You on the outside though, looked nothing like even the slightest bit enthusiastic or admiring of the bar, making the staff worry if they had left a spot unclean or if what they displayed at the bar as decoration wasn't enough.

You preferred a less crowded spot than the cheery, loud ones. Searching for the best option available, you spotted a table in the corner of the bar. It was empty, no company on nearby seats either. Perfect, just as you liked it.

You sat down elegantly and went through the menu, looking like a professional in the eyes of the bystanders, when you were just trying not to look dumb in such an expensive bar.

'Darn it. I wasn't really a drunkard in my past life, so how in the SCP foundation am I gonna do a nice pick!?' You regretted not researching about wines and drink stuff in your past life, turns out it would have been pretty helpful if you did.

After thinking that there was no hope left for you...

*Ding ding*

'Don't worry my sugar pookums bbg, Assistant sama has it handled! :3'

Assistant sama in clutch boys.

'Askgdjskkdjdhskkaka omg Assistant sama you saved my goofy dumbass ahhcheeks🥺😣!' You mentally squealed, not physically, you don't wanna seem weird to the wandering eyes of a normal human. Not Homo-Sapien, only you get that wondrous title of importance.

*Ding ding*

'According to a certain favourite character of yours in a game, Dandelion wine it is!'

"Oh!" You snapped your finger in realisation, though quickly returned to an npc pose as you didn't want to verbalize your thought process and internally beamed with excitement and enthusiasm as you called for a nearby waitress to order your desired choice.

"Hey beautiful miss, would you kindly fetch me a bottle of dandelion wine😉? (With wine expert rizz)" ahaha... you can never stop yourself to be SMOOTH LIKE BUTTER- ahem. To rizz beautiful maidens hot bbgs and zaddy up, can you😌?

'Sometimes I wonder if I actually do have social anxiety...' you thought to yourself, internally sweatdropping at your own strangeness.

"Y-yes... right away!" The waitress was flustered for a bit before she regained her formal appearance again and went to fetch your drink. Talk about professionalism.

"Lala... lalalalalala.." you hummed a tune to not get bored while your drink is going to be served. You moved your head side-to-side in sync with the tune of the nice and calm music you were humming to with pleasure.

Until, you were kindly DISTURBED.

"Mx. Would you mind if I take a seat here?"

A charming and handsome man, who's skin was pale as a vampire, probably anaemic- anygays, with beautiful eyes that held a mesmerising, but dangerous glint in them, he greeted you with his right hand on his chest.

'Wait a fucking millennium... HOLY GYAT WTF WHAT IN TYE SKIBIDI RIZZLET OHIOUSSY-'

And guess who it is? That's right folks, it is yours truly and only, FYODOR FUCKING DOSTOEVSKY 😍😘🔥⁉️‼

Your jaw dropped. Physically. Only for a second tho since you couldn't afford to look improper in ur bbg's divine alpha presence 😘😍🙏

'HOLY FUCK HOWLY JUCK HWROLY AJHUK WHORELY FUCKING- BRO WJAT'

He seemed to have noticed that you recognized him as his expression changed a bit to that of a knowing one. He smiles gently. He smiled. He fucking smiled.

He smiled.

He smiled.

He smiled.

He smiled.

'O mi fucking grass he smiled.'

*Ding ding*

'Bbg, he smiled😉'

Instantly, your face was painted with 50 shades of grey- I mean red. Pardon.

'Calm down calm dow climb dumb-' you told yourself it's fine, you can survive seeing his handsome, ethereal, majestic- sry i got carried away- anygays, you decided to calm down since you didn't want to look bad in front of ur bbg.

'Come to think of it, what is fyodor babygirliest even doing here? I mean, I get that Assistant sama told me the location but, surely he came for something, no?' You thought as you observed, the blush on your face already gone as your facial expression did a 180°.

Not wanting him to stand any longer, you finally responded. "Um- yes. Yes you may."

The beauty nods before seating himself down on your opposite, face-to-face.

"Thank you for your approval, kind mx." He says with a Russian accent. Thas hot.

"No- no need to uh- thank me. I don't even own this, afterall." You said while shaking your hands altogether with your in sync, gesturing a no.

'Damn it. Why in the shrekkish fuckward do I have to stutter like a classic wattpad y/n💀?' You internally cursed yourself.

"Well then, I shall be accompany you in this bar for awhile in return." He offered with a sly smile, though it didn't exactly sound like an offer. An affirmative sentence it was.

"Mhm mhm." Not knowing how to continue the conversation any longer, since the education system apparently doesn't teach that, you just sticked to humming and giving a slight nod in response.

(Horrifying, for you) Silence engulfed the room.

You were internally sweating buckets due to having social anxiety, and having fyodor in front of your eyes didn't really help that much... Who am I kidding, it was even worse.

And Fyodor couldn't seem more pleased, judging from his amused and 'kind' expression. Wow, 'kind', such a bad joke I can't even laugh... well maybe I can- but you get the point.

After suffering for so long in silence, the waitress finally arrives with the wine you ordered, successfully saving the day. Some heroes don't wear a cape... and an underwear over their clothes-

"Miss-"

"*Mx."

"Mx."

Did you just '*' her irl? Whatever.

"Here's your order." She places down the expensive looking wine bottle on the table between you and Fyodor.

"Ah... thanks. " you thanked her with a gentle expression just so you seem humble and proceeded to have a '😶' face after she left.

"This... is it your first time drinking?" Said the ravenette who sat on your opposite. You assumed he was observing you while you were conversing with the waitress.

"Uh- yes. You're quite the connoisseur at observing, kind sir." Quite excellent at adding those eLEgAnt words, aren't you? What can I say... reading fanfics on wattpad really helped ig.

"I'm grateful for your praise, but that is hardly anything praiseworthy." He replied humbly.

'He wants me fr... I'm delulu aren't I?'

"I was wondering... what might a beautiful man would be doing here in a bar?" Quite bold of you, right? But can you really blame yourself for saying rizz lines in front of your bbg? Well, maybe.

"Oh, me? I am here for... some business o believe I must do." He replies, moving his hand close to the wine bottle. "May I?" He asks for permission to pour you some wine.

You were a bit sceptical since it's FYODOR, but the temptation to see him pour you a drink like a gentleman was too hard to resist. You knew, knew that there's some hidden intention behind his gentleman behaviour and approaching you. But a Homo-Sapien can dream, can't it?

"You may." Permission was granted.

He opened the bottle cap and lifted the it up with his hand and poured it into your cup. He passed it closer to you.

"Here's your drink, mx." He says with a close eyed smile before putting his hand on the table and place it underneath his chin, supporting it as he looked into your eyes.

'Fyofyo bbg, has anyone not told you to not stare at someone so shamelessly... much less, staring at me like that? How in the disney dumbo am I supposed to drink this wine while being stared at?'

You internally sweatdropped as you tried your best to pay him no mind. Holding the glass of wine, you brought it close to your mouth, gathering the courage to take a sip.

'It's okay, I can do this... maybe?'

Aaand tada! You did it! Congrats bbg!

*Ding ding*

'YAS BBG'

'YIPEEEE' you thought very calmly inside your head.

The wine was indeed as good as Venti describe in the game. Really, good would be an understatement. Even though you didn't drink any before, you somehow knew that this one was the best. What can I say... Venti senses ig.

"Judging from your reaction, the wine must have good, mhm?" Said the Russian, who's presence you had forgotten of while drinking the wine.

"Yeah. It's pretty great." You said, the nervousness going away, as you could talk without stuttering or fiddling with something.

After thinking a lot (no, you didn't think a lot), you thought, 'why not have another drink? Surely, there's nothing bad in that...'
You jinxed it, didn't you?

Taking another sip, you found yourself starting to get dizzy as yo.

'What...? No... it... can't be because I drank... it definitely... wasn't enough... to make me feel dizzy... it shouldn't... then...!'

Your eyes snapped as you swiftly looked Fyodor's way, and found him just smirking and looking smug.

Ah... you had been drugged... but of course, if it's Fyodor bbg, you don't mind😘.

'I really hope... you don't do... any physical harm to me, or else... I'll have to smack some sense... into your anaemic ahh body...' you thought as you fainted right after with your head hitting the table.

"Nikolai."

"Right here!"

...

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.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ..·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

Fun facts!

• Yes, it is your first time drinking.

• Yes, you are a virgin (lmao).

• Yes, you were drugged. But, the question is, is something sussy going to happen next chapter🤨🤔?

• Maybe.

• Idk if dandelion wine exist in irl or not, it does here tho.

• No one can here the ding ding sound of the notifications of Assistant sama except you. Nor can they see or even sense them

• Finally we meet Fyofyo bbg bcuz my patience was running thin.

Thas it! Wait for more bbgs😘

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Woopieeee
... how'd you like the chapter?

Sry for the long wait since I was giving my exams WHILE being sick af ( i swear i always get sick the time around exams💀)
But dw! They're over now, so here's a chapter with more than 2000 words😘

Here's a WIP for another fanart:

Ig it's looking fine so far??

Anygays- I have been playing reverse 1999 and I have to say, that this game has got me addicted more than i should be. Even star rail or genshin couldn't do that. Btw this game clearly has yuri cuz ain't no way these grillfrys and mommys are so fruity-

I've pulled two 6 stars and both of them were eternity😭 I mean don't get me wrong- she's mommy. But I wanted Lilya😭😭😭 FUCKING GRASSHOPPERS PLS GIVE ME LILYA😭😭😭😭😭

ahem. Here's my team anygays-

My first 6 star, Eternity, who I pulled 2 times.

Eternity, but mommier bcuz I speedran unlocking her garment.

Sonetto, the no.1 simp for Vertin (mc))

Sonetto, but I also speedran her garment.

Charlie, my sweet and precious bby

Charlie- and yes, you guessed it, I again speedran her garment.

The garment I never was able to get.

The one I actually wanted.

SHE'S SO FYCKING HOT BRO WHY MUST U MAKE SUFFER I WANT HER SO BAD I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE WHALED IF I WEREN'T F2P JUST WHY-

ahem.

Pardon.

Btw I think I'm seeing a pattern here. Fyodor and Lilya are both Russian so... am I into Russians?

Anygays- whoever wanna play this game w me:
Name: Vertin (there are a lot of peeps w that name do I suggest you search for id)

Id: 409257869

Prolly forgor smth but wtv

Bye bbgs 😘‼