I read that as homo meme btw😘

Warning: Grass, your mom, assistant-sama, bbg, silly, dhar mann reference.

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"So uh, the manga store is... Supposed to be here?" The Homo-Sapien who was wandering around in search of food- wait I mean shelter- actually you know what? This human is so stupid that the first thing they search for is a fucking manga store. Can relate-

You looked at your phone's screen that was showing '1 metre away from destination'. You stared into what was in front of you, a hair salon.

"SERIOUSLY!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME-"

*Ding ding*

"Huh?" You looked at your phone, sensing that the voice had come from it. There was a message written on it.

'Fucking dumbass turn around ᵔᴗᵔ'

You turned around. Boom. Here's your manga store.

"... Ehe (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)" You were going to walk into the store when you realized the most important thing...

"Money...(｡o_o｡)" you immediately went into an emo phase when you remembered that.

*Ding ding*

"Huh?" You looked down to your phone again.

'Yo bbg dw I got you😘' I wonder what that meant.

*Ding ding*

"... Another message?" You checked your messages with no hope in your eyes, knowing that hope leads to disappointment. But as soon as you did, your dull eyes started shining again.

Bank balance:
10,000,000¥

"... LES FUCKING GOOO🗣️🔥‼️" The reader said calmly.

"Thank you my silly willy so much oh my grass I don't know what I'd do without you oh my gyat-" bro doesn't know proper grammer.

'No need to thank me bbg ily (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)༉‧♡'

'AJKHSFGHAKSJHKSJAJM HELP I'M BEING RIZZED BY AN ASSISTANT-💀' You thought calmly.

After having an internal crisis, you walked into the store like you're THE Goat. Definately didn't have a crisis what do you mean😊?

"Your Homo-Sapienboss on the way to buy the whole store fr." You put on your swag shades and walked in like a gangster. You glanced around, trying to find the cashier as when you eventually did, you walked towards him intimidatingly.

"Heyyy hottie😎." You said as you leaned on the counter.

"Uh yes? How may I help you?" The male cashier replied, a bit weirded out by your behaviour but continued talking nonetheless.

"Hm. Do you know you're talking to a millionaire? You might want to be grateful for that." You said, dragging your shades a bit down to your nose as you gave him a judgemental stare, enough to break many's confidence.

"H-huh???" The cashier replied hesitantly, he had never ever thought that he would find himself in this position in a lifetime.

"You know you're pretty cute right? Well, if it's for you, I might buy the romance section for you." You paused as you thought of anything you've missed to say as you then continued again. "Oh by the way, I mean the ENTIRE romance section silly." Not you attempting to rizz him up.

"A-aha... I'm afraid that might be too much for you..." The cashier replied, waving his hand dismissively, not believing that you had the money for that.

"Hm." From the outside, you looked calm as you usually did, but on the inside? Well, that's a whole another story.

'Looks like I gotta teach this punk a lesson.' You thought, internally fuming with anger.

You open your phone and show him yor bank balance. Wow, you really wanna flex today don't you?

'Mwahaha witness my money👹' you thought nicely.

"Ah... The whole romance section? Right away." His attitude sure did a 180°.

As he went to call more of his colleagues pack the stuff, you were just boredly fidgeting with the end of your cape, waiting for when they finish packing your stuff.

A/n: You're wearing Venti's outfit but dw it will change later on if you want, I'll cast a voting session in the end. Or maybe I'll forget-

"Man... I sure do hope I looked cool instead of a spoilt brat." You sighed.

'Well, in the meantime, I can think of ways to join the decay of babygirls, and also how to change the future in the way I want.' You thought as you wanted to utilise your time (wow shocking for your lazy ahhcheeks right😨😱).

'Okay, so first of all, I know that the canon will diverge but I don't give a fuck about that. Secondly, joining D.O.A. huh... Thas hard. The easiest way would be the sky casino, or if Nikolai goofs around and we eventually meet... Well, low chance of that happening. And Fyodor kun huh... Well, maybe I visit that one cafe in the anime and try my luck? Absolute trash ideas but I guess I'll try. Third- wait, I just realised... WHAT FUCKING TIMELINE EVEN IS THIS!?' Panic mode started.

As you were internally panicking on what if Fyodor had already died, a letter fell on your head. Harder than ever.

"OW! FUCKING HELL- Oh wait, it's a letter." You calmed down, hoping that the timeline was before the mersault arc.

'I hope that it's atleast before the mersault arc... Wait, did I just 'hope' for something...? No... No you didn't. Hoping for something will always lead to dissapointment... Don't hope.' Despite all that monologuing in your head, you still couldn't help but hope that Fyodor would still be alive.

Opening the letter, you prepared yourself for any dissapointment you'll face. Gulping down your saliva and unintentionally holding your breath, you started to read the letter In your head..

''Stop panicking you moron. This timeline is 2 weeks before the cannibalism arc. I know you don't remeber the whole thing, so I sent you the whole 5 seasons on your phone. Good luck saving your uh... "Babygirl" as you call him. Assistant sama will help you.' Woah... I don't know how I would live without you... Uh, "letter san". Wait- did it just say "assistant sama"? Is the assistant higher in authority or what-'

*Ding ding*

'I'm not higher in authority but I'm higher in swag and rizz bbg😘'

'AGSFKJAKAHSJKAJAKA I CAN TELL YOIR HIGH IN RIZZ'

After calming down, you looked towards the staff and saw that they had just finished packing your stuff. Sus. Jus then, a female cashier approached your figure.

"Hello mis-"

"Mx. Continue."

"Ah yes- sorry for mistaking. Mx. The packing is done. It's a lot of stuff you ordered, so I was wondering if you wanted to have our delivery services do it for you? Don't worry, it's free of cost since you have so much stuff you ordered." The female cashier offered.

"Hm. let me think for a while. I need 5 minutes." You replied.

"Ok...?"

The cashier was probably wondering why you needed those 5 minutes but complied nonetheless.

'... Ehe. I forgot that I had no home.'

*Ding ding*

'Assistant sama here, remember that Venti likes to renovate mountains😋🤭?'

'Oh my fucking grass, YOU ARE SUCH A GENIUS ASSISTANT SAMA‼️'

'Ik bbg😘'

*treat me like white tees starts playing*

'Assistant sama I know you're the rizzler but pls stop rizzing me up-'

After again being rizzed by the rizzler Assistant sama, you turn to the female cashier who busy serving other customers. I mean, she ain't just going to stand there, is she?

"Um miss?" You called out to the cashier.

The cashier looked at you and came your way upon hearing you call her.

"Yes Mx.? Have you finished deciding?" She asked politely. Clearly, she's the better cashier than the previous one.

"Yes. There is no need for you to deliver this, I can do it by myself." You said proudly with a smug face.

"Are you sure Mx.?" The cashier asked, confused on how you, a midget, would be able to take all these romance mangas home all alone by yourself.

"Being worried doesn't suit you princess, even if you're worried about me." You are the rizzler, aren't you? (still not better than assistant sama).

"A-ah... Alright." The cashier replied as she then walked away, with the tip of her ears red not going unnoticed by you.

"Ehe. Always gotta do a daily rizz-training (order)." You said cheekily to yourself before you went to the counter to pay.

"Hey Mr. I'm here to pay for that." You said to the male cashier as you blankly pointed to the packaged boxes behind you.

"Ah, yes. The total amount would be..." Tge cashier paused before saying, "200,500 ¥"
Didn't need the dramatic pause tbh but you go.

"Ah yes, I'd like to pay via credit card." You said as you handed him your card.

The cashier does the money transaction and hands the card back to you.

"Money transaction has been completed. Thank you for your patronage! Please do come back again." He says cheerfully, bidding you goodbye.

"Maybe I will. Bye ig." You waved your hand as naturally as you could before exiting the store and using your anemo archon powers to teleport the stuff to the mountain you thought was closest.

And how the staff and security cam didn't catch anything? Assistant sama.

'Wink wink pookie😉😘'

"Thanks so much assistant sama." You muttered silently to yourself with a small smipe as to not be caught talking to air and be labeled a professional weirdo (which you are).

'Now... Where do I teleport...? Should have teleported along with the stuff... Actually, maybe not since people were practically staring at me... Yikes, scary stuff. I know my Venti pookie looks fabulously twinky, but that's still no reason to be staring shamelessly!'

*Ding ding*

'How about a sketchy (optional) alleyway🙂😊'

"Hmm... Sounds great!" Duh, it ain't gon be no boring no more.

You then stopped, wondering where the fuck is an alleyway since you didn't know shit.

*Ding ding*

'You know pookie, you can always rely on me for these 😘😊 sketchy stuff is my forte😋'

A/n: idfk what forte means but I js guessed it.

*Dang dang*

You have been sent a location by assistant sama.

"Do you have diff sounds for diff purpose or what?" You asked to no one in particular.

Opening the attachment, you saw that there was a sketchy and very sus alleyway about 69 meters away from you.

"Hm... thas very sus if you ask me... maybe thas why they don't- ahem. Les go 😁😀 (and get homo-sapiennapped)"

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·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙
·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

Fun facts!

• The author forgor to add these and the voting.

• Y/n has a love/hate relationship with Dazai.

• Assistant sama advised Y/n to renovate a mountain and just make it their home.

• Y/n also likes the lyre just like Venti.

THAS IT GEYS😘

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Heyy bbg how'd you like the chap?

It's pretty much some world building stuff at the start like some isekai but dw you'll eventually get to meet your sillys and willys and most importantly, Fyofyo bbg😍😘😩

So stay tuned for the next chapters!

Here's a WIP on a reader fanart by me :3

How do ya feel about it? Should I complete this? Do tell!

Anyways- I hop e yall have a nice day js like me, why is my day nice you ask? (Idc if you didn't ask bbg😍😘) so we just frickin got a another art teacher who'll only (maybe, not confirmed) teach in art club (I feel so lucky damn) and his paintings are fuckin expensive (goes in millions btw) AND he supports animation ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ I'm sry, but I have never, like NEVER EVER, had such a teach, I loved today om em gyat-

...I probably forgor smth but ig it's fine.

Anygays thas all for story time ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ BYE BBGS STAY HOMO-SAPIEN😍😘