This is a request from my lovely friend NoorahDham
Go and follow her! She is an amazing writer and an amazingly supportive friend!❤️ I hope you like this one!

I don't know anymore to be honest. I don't know if I have done something wrong or if his feelings for me are gone. He is rarely home, he is out late almost every day and he is distant. He's not talking to me as much as he used to. He never looks at me the same way as he used to, he is always a little bit grumpy. He doesn't even kiss me anymore.

We have argued more lately and everything just feels weird. Nothing is the same as it was before. And everything started a few months ago.

Almost every night when he gets home late I stay up and wait for him, and when he gets home he gets mad because I waited for him, and when I don't wait up for him and go to bed instead he gets mad about that. And today was one of those nights.

I have been home the whole day and he has been at the studio and working on new music. Or that at least what he told me. I have been trying to call him and text him, asking him how it goes and when he gets home. But he didn't pick up the phone and he left me reading.

The time approaching 2 am and he hasn't come home yet. I decided to make him a sandwich that he can eat when he gets home.

When I took out all the ingredients from the refrigerator my phone vibrated on top of the kitchen counter. I thought it was Shawn who texted me so I got a smile on my face. Then the phone vibrated again, and again and again. I got a lot of notifications one after another.

I furrowed my eyebrows thinking it was weird that my phone vibrated that much. It must be some kind of bug. I took my phone and saw that I had got a lot of notifications from a lot of accounts on Instagram.

I went in on Instagram and as quickly the app opened my heart dropped.

How could he do this to me? How can he do this to his fans? Is this the reason why he has been so distant? Because he is with another girl? Is this the reason why he gets home late almost every night when he says that he has been working on his album? How long has this been going on?

Tears rolled down my cheek and I can't believe him. I didn't know that he was this kind of person.

I heard keys rattle on the other side of the door and I quickly wiped off my tears in the second as the door opened and a drunk Shawn walked in. "Hi babe" he slurred and walked towards me

"Where have you been? Do you know how much the time is?" "Ugh, don't start this again. I just want to cuddle with you right now" he reached for my hips but I pushed his hands away before he even reached for my hips. "Have you been drinking again? Because I can smell the alcohol from your breath"

"Yes, I have been drinking. But just a few glasses and nothing else. I promise" "So you haven't been cheating on me behind my back?" I crossed my arms against my chest and tears started to stream down my face. "N-no I would never do that. Why do you say that?"

"You have been distant for a long time, you- you hardly talk to me anymore, you don't even look at me as you used to, you don't kiss me anymore, you are always drunk when you get home late, we fight all the time and nothing is the same anymore Shawn. It feels like you don't feel anything for me anymore!"

"I-I'm sorry baby. I didn't know that you feel that way" "It's because you almost aren't home and you don't talk to me" more tears rolled down my cheeks. "Then let's talk now" he grabbed my hand but I tore it away from his grip.

"No. I don't wanna talk about it. There is nothing we can talk about. I know why you coming home late, I know why you are avoiding me. So just say it. I can handle it" I crossed my arms and leaned my back against the counter. "Wh-what are you talking about? I have been working on my next album and I'm stressed over that"

"Stop lying Shawn. Can't you just tell me the truth? I'm tired that you are lying to me all the time!" "I don't know what you are talking about. I'm telling you the truth" he raised his voice. "You think I'm stupid right? But you can't lie to me! Why can't you just say the truth? I want to hear from you. I know that you haven't been to the studio. You have been sleeping with another girl. Just admit it"

"W-what are you talking about? What girl?" I could see that he started to be mad. I showed him the picture "So this isn't you then?"

"It is me, but I haven't kissed that girl. I swear. I have never seen her. It must be some sort of editing. A fake photo. Someone must have photoshopped me in that picture so it looks like I'm kissing her" "Yeah really" I rolled my eyes. "I swear to god baby. I haven't kissed another girl. The only girl I have kissed is you"

"Then why do you get home late then huh? Why are you always drunk? Why don't you look at me in the same way as you used to? You don't even kiss me anymore. You don't talk to me, you don't respond to my calls or messages" More tears rolled down my cheeks. "I can't live like this anymore. It's like I don't exist for you anymore. It has been like this for months now Shawn. I can't bear it anymore"

I know that Shawn is drunk. And a drunk Shawn means that he can't control his feelings. If he gets mad, he gets really mad, if he gets sad he gets really sad.

"Okay if we are going to talk about what we can't bear any more. I can't bear that you always asking me how I feel, what I am doing, how it's going with my new music. You ask me that all the god damn time. Trying to be the perfect girlfriend. But guess what. You aren't. And no, that wasn't me on that picture. And I'm not lying. And that you think that I would cheat on you just say how much you trust me!" he almost yelled at me. I have seen many sides of Shawn but not this one.

I couldn't get out a word. I was too shocked about what he said. "Say something! Don't just stand there!" he tossed the cutting board to the floor which made me flinch.

"You are always like this! Every time someone is telling you something you don't want to hear you get quiet. You don't get anywhere by being quiet all the time. And if you can't handle it, why don't you leave then, huh? Why haven't you left? You know what, I- I don't want to see you right now. I got to bed"

He walked away from me. Slamming the bedroom door shut after him. Clearly showing that he doesn't want to see me right now.

I sunk down to the floor, my back against the counter. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying my best to muffle my crying. I can't believe that he just said that.

What happened to the Shawn I fell in love with? The one that always is happy, the one that always showing how much he loves me. The big teddy bear.

I sat there for a long time, thinking about everything that just happened. I love Shawn, I do. But I can't live in a relationship like this. I just can't. Even how much it's gonna hurt I need to leave. I need to forget about him and start from the beginning.

I packed all my things in moving boxes. Ready to leave in the morning. I'm going to pack all my clothes in the morning. When Shawn is awake.

I didn't sleep much that night. I just turned around on the couch, thinking of everything that happened a while ago and how it could be like this. I thought about all the good memories we have shared. But now it's time for me to erase them. It's going to take some time, but I will manage to do that. Right?

In the morning

When Shawn opened the door to the bedroom I walked in and started to pack all my clothes.

"What are you doing?" Shawn asked, looking at the boxes that are standing in the hall and then turned around to me. I didn't respond to him, I can't talk to him right now.

"Hey, I'm talking to you" he grabbed my wrist which caused me to turn around and face him. "You said that I should leave. So if you excuse me, I need to continue with this" I tore my wrist out of his grip and continued to pack all my clothes.

When I closed my suitcase Shawn was blocking the door for me. "Shawn move please" I didn't look up at him. I just stared at his chest rising and falling. "No"

"Shawn please just move aside so I can leave. So you can continue with your life without me" He didn't move so I had to use all my force to push him away from the door. "We can talk about this"

"No, we can't Shawn. It's just gonna end up with us two fightings again. It's better this way" I opened the door and placed a few boxes outside the door. "Baby, please. I need you" I could hear the sadness in his voice "No you don't Shawn. Your life will be so much better without me. I'm telling a friend to pick up the rest of the boxes another day. And please don't run after me now when I'm closing the door. "Bye Shawn"

I said and closed the door and started to carry the boxes into the elevator. Some part of me wished that Shawn would open the door, walk up to me and giving me a long passionate kiss, and telling me that everything will be alright. But the door was closed.

He didn't come out.