It has been two weeks and one day now. And yesterday Shawn was on his date with Hailey. I want to ask him how it went, he is my best friend after all. But at the same time, I know that I am going to be heartbroken when I read or hear about their date. So I decided to not ask him.

How did I spend Valentine's day? Well, in my room, getting lost in romantic movies with a box of chocolate, a Ben&Jerry, and tears due to the movies as a company. And my valentine has been like this since a few years back. I have lost count.

And today I am at the hospital, doing the treatment that I need to do at least twice a month. Before I hated to be at the hospital, but now I have gotten used to it. It's like my second home. The nurses and the doctors are really nice to me. But there is one special nurse, Daisy. She is the best, she has become one of my best friends. I have told her about Shawn, she has told me about her first love. I have told her about everything that has happened in my life and so has she. And that's not all, a few times I may need to stay at the hospital during the night and she is always the one that needs to watch me.

A few times I have woke up in the middle of the night hungry. So I tell her that I am hungry and she always takes my hand and we go on an adventure to the cafeteria that is closed at night time. It's like a mission, we always try to hide from the nurses and doctors. And one time we got caught.

And today was my lucky day, she was the one that did all the treatments on me.

"You have to tell him sooner or later. You can't wait any longer baby" "I know. But he is probe ly happy with Hailey now" I tolled my eyes at her name. "That Hailey girl doesn't have anything that you have. I mean look at you"

I looked down on myself and took a grip of my blue hospital nightgown looking piece of clothing. "Okay maybe not with that on" Daisy laughed which made me laugh as well. "Okay, I'm done for now. I just gonna go away for a little while and give you some rest" she patted me on my shoulder and then stoke my cheek before she left.
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A few minutes later someone knocked on the door. I opened my eyes and Daisy stood there with a smile on her face "A handsome young man is looking for you" she smirked. I pushed myself up in the bed so my back was resting against the big pillow with the smell of medicine behind me. "How do I look?" I brushed my fingers through my messy hair and she gave me a thumb up with one eye closed and her tongue out. She stepped aside from the door frame and Shawn arrived behind the wall.

He had a smile on his face when he saw me. "Hi" he almost whispered and sat down on the chair beside the hospital bed. 

"Hey," I said happy but still a little bit annoyed. He broke my heart after all without him knowing. "So tell me, how was the date?" "Well" he shrugged his shoulders "It was okay" "Just okay?" I looked at him confusing. "Yeah, she wasn't the one I thought that she was. In school, she seems to be this cool girl that isn't afraid of anything. But when we were on our date, she was quiet. It was like she was expecting me to keep the conversation alive"

"Maybe she was nervous? I would have been nervous if I went on my first date"

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Anyways, I picked her up around 11 am. I drove us to the diner. You know the one we always go to?"

I nodded my head, knowing exactly which diner he means. But the problem is that that diner is ours. It mine and Shawn's. He can't take her there and make it their place now. It'd ours and it has always been like that.

"And after we have been eating we played bowling. And after the bowling, I took her to the ice cream bar that is around the corner of the H&M you know? And in the evening I drove her to the hill where you can see the whole city"

"Woah, it sounds really romantic" Tears formed in my eyes and I tried to keep them stay there so they wouldn't roll down my cheeks. "How did you spend Valentine's day?"
"With Ben&Jerry" I smiled proudly "Oh two guys. I hope that they treated you right" he joked and nudged me on my shoulder. "Yup, they differently did" "But why didn't you go put with Carter?" "Carter from science?" I raised one eyebrow. "Yeah" "Yuk" wrinkled my face and shook my head quickly. And Shawn let out a warm-hearted laugh.

"I know that he likes you. And you two would be a really cute couple" "Oh shut up. I like someone else" I said that without knowing. "You do? Tell me. Who is it? Is it Brian? Maybe Connor. Or David from math? Oh is it Fredric from history" he continued to say a lot of guy names until I couldn't take it anymore.

"It's you Shawn" he stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked at me with confusion and shock written on his face. "Wai- what?"

"I like you, Shawn. And I have done it for years. For many years" the tears that I have been keeping in my eyes finally rolled down my cheeks. On by one. "Wh- was- why haven't you told me this earlier?" "Because I was scared. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same. That you would reject me or that our friendship would get ruined because of that. So that's why Shawn. That's why I haven't told you"

He was completely quiet. I could see him processing everything I just said. "And I know that you don't feel the same-" "Y/N" "No Shawn. Let me finish. I know that you don't feel the same. And I know that you prefer Hailey to me. And I get why. And I understand that you are going to hate me now. But I just needed to get it said. I have been going around acting like normal for years. And I thought that you would see it. And when you said that you were going on a date with Hailey it broke my heart and-"

I got interrupted by Shawn cupping my hands and pressing our lips against each other. I could feel him smile but I pushed him away. "You don't have to do that just because you feel sorry for me"

"I don't do that because I feel sorry for you. I do this because I love you" he cupped my left cheek and pulled me towards him again and kissed me softly. And this time I kissed him back. His lips were soft against mine and it felt amazing. He pulled away from the kiss and looked at me. "Let's wipe these away" he smiled and wiped away my tears with his thumb. I laughed as cried. And to be honest, It's one of the best combination of emotions.

"Move over"

I did as he said, I moved over to the other side of the bed so he could fit beside me. He wrapped one arm around my waist and I rested my head on top of his wide chest.

This maybe wasn't the most romantic place to get your first kiss on. But who cares? My crush since years back just kissed me and said that he loved me.