𝐱𝐢𝐯.
jeremy's confession
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

I've been to my fair share of events.

Brand openings, launch parties, fashion galas filled to the brim with celebrities and icons. I've walked runways, modeled for a handful of magazine covers and spreads for online sites.

So why do I feel so nervous about tonight?

As if this is the first time I've done this kind of thing?

I'd blame my churning stomach on the fact that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast but I'd be wrong. It was only a few bites of buttered toast and I couldn't get my nerves to settle enough to finish the rest.

My restlessness is majorly due to the fact that the whole world is about to see Derek and I in his music video in just a few short hours. Or the fact that up until recently, I haven't been able to fully look Derek Rossi in the eye after sending him those unsolicited photos.

"We're going to be late!" Julia shrieks from my living room.

"We still have an hour," I state as I put the back of my earring in place.

I step back from the standing mirror in my bedroom to take in my outfit for the evening.

Though Derek and I haven't spoken face to face, we've still kept in touch. Which explains the dress I'm wearing tonight.

Red isn't exactly my go-to color. I'm more of a little-black-dress girl myself, but upon receiving Derek's request to wear a blood red dress tonight, I couldn't find it in me to deny him. Especially after I saw the address of the shop where it was made.

"You have got to start wearing red more often," Julia says, awestruck as she enters the room, hair slicked into a high bun, purposefully showing the backless design of her silk, ivory colored dress. She's practically glowing. I couldn't be any happier for her.

She stills behind me as she, too, admires the craftsmanship of the dress. He must've gotten my measurements from the costume department, or either of our managers—seeing as it's an exact fit.

The way it fits, tailored for me, and only me. To accentuate every line, every curve of my body, sinched to absolute perfection. Fabric buttery-soft to the point that it's hard to discern where my dress starts, and bare flesh begins. The lengths that Derek must've had to go through to have this dress made for me...

"It's gorgeous—," Julia pauses, then shakes her head as if retracting her statement, "you're gorgeous."

"It's—too much."

Julia shakes her head a second time. She takes me by the arm and swivels me away from the standing mirror to meet her gaze. "It's perfect."

My phone chimes inside my bag. "Probably the Uber."

"Fuck, I'm so nervous. Aren't you nervous?" She questions, voice breathy as she grabs her matching clutch.

Very.

"A bit." I flash her a confident smile, wishing for the ceaseless wingbeats of thousands of. butterflies to stop fluttering through my stomach.

The ride to Derek's multi-million dollar mansion in the Hills only escalated my state of nervousness. So much so that Julia caught on and had to calm me down; our whisper-yelling gained us a few more than wary looks from our Uber driver through his rearview mirror.

"Alright," Julia says as I exit the car. I stop beside her to our surroundings as the cool night air kisses my tempered skin. "Catch me if I pass out, will you?"

A laugh escapes me, as well as another when her expression tells me she's not joking. Both of us take a simultaneous step forward across the lawn.

Four men dressed entirely in black, earpieces in place and armed to the teeth, watch us closely as we approach. The one on the far right closest to the entryway is the only one who looks familiar, named Tom. He was one of the guards at the club the night Derek and I had met.

The other three immediately fall silent, deeming their hushed conversation too personal for unwanted ears.

Tom observes Julia first, then myself. A small smile tugs at his lips upon seeing me. I return it.

"You sure seem to like it here." He says, rough voice full of amusement.

"Oh? What makes you say that?"

His smile turns smug as he opens the door, a mischievous glint to his eye. "This would be, what—the third time you've been here this week?"

Well shit.

I pat his arm lightly. "Thanks for the reminder, Tom."

His smile only widens as we pass him.

"At this point you two better move in together, get married and have mini prodigy Derek-Elara babies." Julia murmurs from beside me. I elbow her in response. "Sorry. It's my nerves. Actually, no. Not sorry."

We walk through the vast entryway, cut across the rustic-bohemian living room decorated with rich, colorful browns, creams, and faded blues. A stark contrast to Derek Rossi's personality, yet it surprisingly suits him now that I've gotten to know him.

Few party-goers linger in clusters around the room in conversation. I recognize some from Derek's newly-found inner circle. Friends he'd introduced me to throughout my visits to his home. Caterers filter past before Julia and I exit onto the back patio.

My best friend grips my arm, presumable to self-sooth herself, but little does she know that I needed the assurance too. I place my hand over hers, placing one foot in front of the other as music greets us, along with the setting Los Angeles sun.

"Holy shit, is that Kiana?" Julia whispers.

I follow her line of sight, and sure enough, the famous singer, Kiana, stands only a few feet away.

"The net-worth in Derek's backyard is extremely overwhelming," completely awestruck, Julia and I scan the entirety of the yard.

Some faces I recognize; such as other popular musicians, influencers, celebrities. The net-worth in this backyard alone could solve world hunger, homelessness, poverty—so much more. Though most of these people are unfamiliar to me, they must have some sort of connection to the industry given the way that they're dressed, how they compose themselves as the speak, and definitely hold a part in Derek's life in one way or another; career based or no.

I push pause on my wonderment when my eyes catch on a set of brown ones that I'd recognize anywhere.

He's dressed in a stunning all black suit, made to fit him with absolute perfection. Not too tight, hugs in all the right places, and accentuates his tall, muscular build.

This man legally shouldn't be able to dress head to foot in black. He's already gorgeous as it is, and the monotone clothes transform him into a devastating force to be reckoned with. Hair slicked back in a way that does—unholy things to my insides—along with dark tattoos on full display up the expanse of his neck.

Derek nods along to the words being said by the man standing beside him who's handsome in his own respect. Definitely no Derek Crimson, but his strong jaw, paired with strong eyes, brown hair that ends just below his ears, and sharp nose set suit him.

My breath catches when Derek's eyes finally latch onto mine. His face immediately lightens, glowing as a wide smile blesses his features. My lips curl upward in return.

"Oh! I see champagne. I'll be right back, don't go anywhere, okay?" Says Julia, placing a hand on my arm as she speaks.

"I'll be here," I reassure. She leaves my side just as Derek excuses himself from his conversation with a group of people.

Though, as he parts, I notice he isn't coming alone. Another man, tall, also dressed in an all-black suit, follows at his side—the man who was next to him.

The urge to duck behind a group of celebrities at a standing table to my left grows as I regret not going with Julia. I stand firm, and offer them both a modest smile.

"Hey," Derek greets.

"Hi." I greet back.

"You two haven't has the chance to meet yet," Derek gestures to the man beside him with a small wave of his wrist, "This is Jeremy."

Jeremy... as in the Jeremy? I've seen him in photos, but he's strangely different in person—not at all in a bad way.

"Jeremy, this is Elara."

I blink up at him. The man who, unknowingly or no, saved Derek's life. "It's nice to finally meet you, Jer," I pause, so used to his shortened name due to the tattooed singer standing before me. "Can I call you that?"

Jeremy nods, laughing softly. "Please do."

"He hates his name."

My brows crease. "What? There's nothing wrong with the name Jeremy."

The dark-brown haired drummer shrugs his shoulders as he says, "I don't hate it. I've just heard it enough to fill a dozen life-times now. It annoying sometimes, hearing it. The more who don't call me Jeremy, the better."

"I understand. I go by Ela sometimes." Derek's eyes meet mine momentarily. It took a day or two after the lingerie photo for me to meet his gaze fully.

"Nice to meet you too, Ela,"

"Okay, I'm back with the—," Julia chokes on her words upon seeing who stands in front of us. "Champagne."

I give her a reassuring smile as I take a flute from her hand. Light amber liquid bubbles inside the glass, sloshing a little with the movement.

"This is my best-friend, Julia. Julia, this is Derek, and Jeremy." The black-haired model blinks at the pair, face paling by the second.

"Pleasure to meet you." Jeremy gives her a crooked smile, and extends a hand, presumably to shake. The gesture visibly stalls my best friend.

Julia isn't one to freeze. Whether it's because she's in the presence of two musical geniuses, or because said musical geniuses could easily make the front page of a high-fashion magazine—both dressed to the nines—either way,

"You too—," Julia's lips pull as she glances at Derek two heartbeats later, "both of you." She recovers quickly, fast enough that neither men seem to catch her slight fumble.

"So you work with Ela, then?" Derek questions. Heat floods through me; the nickname sounding so smooth, so natural on his lips.

"Yeah, we never would've met if it wasn't for D.D." Julia bumps my arm with hers.

"That's why you look so familiar, you're on that billboard on Wilshire Street." Jer's face lights with recognition, and subtle curiosity at the woman before him.

"Yep, that's me." Julia says on an airy laugh, eyes now entirely locked on Jeremy. Oddly bewildered at my friends sudden change in behavior, I glance at Derek, who senses my shift of attention. He gives me a similar expression to my own. A twinge of amusement glimmers in his eyes before they're trained back on our two friends.

"So, how did you two meet?" I ask Jeremy.

His attention switches to me with ease, intent on answering. Hopefully this will give Julia a reprieve for long enough to gain her sense of self back.

"Well, short story is, we met during his first tour at an after party. I played a few beats for him, and we hit it off. We both had a few too many drinks, got into a fight with a few other drunks, and that was that. The next day he fired his old drummer and hired me." He finishes with a nonchalant shrug.

"That guy was pushing seventy, anyway. Figured he'd rather be at home with his family." Derek explains.

"Not to mention all the money you gave him to walk away. Set that man up for the rest of his life." Jeremy claps him on the back, disgruntling the dark haired singer.

"He did witness the whole fight. Pretty sure he would've called the cops if I hadn't given him the money, or worse, ratted me out to my old manager." Both men shake their heads at the memory, keen on continuing their banter until I interrupt.

"These men in question are still alive, right?" I ask with a raised brow.

"Of course." Derek reassures, features softening a bit as his eyes meet mine.

"I definitely need to hear the full story now," I say, their animated conversation sparked an interest to know the full details.

Derek suddenly clears his throat. "Let's save it for another time, yeah?"

Before I can ask why the sudden change in behavior, the cause makes themselves known.

"Ah, Derek!" His manager, Katherine, heads our way in a divine, shimmering skin-tight silver couture dress that ends just above her knees.

Derek steps closer to me, hand circling the side of my waist as he pulls me into his side, creating room for Katherine to join our group. Tingles ripple where his palm lays, gripping tighter when my own hand settles at his back.

"Just the man I've been looking for," Katherine brushes her hair over her shoulder as she glances at Jeremy, Julia, then myself, before locking eyes with Derek. "I've got some people you should meet before launch."

"I'll be back," He says, more-so to me than anyone else as he parts from my side.

"And—I have to use the lady's room." Julia pats my arm, looking a tad regretful, but points to her clutch before she suddenly takes off towards the house. I stare after her with confusion and place my phone in my hand just in case she texts.

"I swear my friend usually isn't so—shy." I explain, unsure if shy is the correct word for Julia's change in demeanor around Jeremy, who chuckles.

"I don't think she's shy. She's fascinating." He says with honesty. I nod, pleasantly surprised by his answer.

"She definitely is."

A pause passes between us until Jeremy breaks it with a change of subject.

"You've really changed him, you know." He says, catching me off guard, and I almost spit out the mouthful of champagne I was about to swallow.

The bitter-sweet champagne lingers on my tongue, causing my brows to crease. "Pardon?"

"Derek."

"I've changed him... how?" My intrigue shows, more than I would like, but it only pushes Jer onward.

"He's happier, happier than he's been in over a year. And somehow within the span of a month and a half you've breathed life back into my best-friend. He's writing music again, too. I mean, can't even remember the last time Derek was in the studio this much—voluntarily," Jeremy takes a step closer, and doesn't wait for me to respond before he continues, "I know he isn't much of a talker. Actually—I take that back. He's not much of a talker when it comes to more personal information about himself, but I can tell whenever Derek genuinely feels for someone. I also know about your—'relationship'—with him. For how much he talks about it all being fake between you two, it doesn't match with the way he looks while speaking about you, or speaking to you. He lights up whenever he mentions you, or getting the chance to be around you, which he's never done while talking about anyone. Only you."

All I can to is stare up at Jeremy in utter bewilderment. I breathed life back into Derek?

"I—I don't know what to say,"

He shakes his head. "You don't have to say anything, Ela. I just—I thought that you should know."

I'm rendered speechless as he sends me a knowing smile, and walks past me, leaving his bared confession to linger inside my mind.

His words play on repeat throughout Derek's opening speech. Even as I stand by his side in a similar position to how he'd held me when Katherine had walked up, all I can think of are Jeremy's words.

We take our seats. The music video plays on a large white tarp meant for movie showings, volume so loud that the base reverberates through the air around us all, yet Jeremy's voice is still louder.

And as I turn my gaze from the screen to Derek sitting beside me, I can't help but think that in some ways, he's been the source of light for me as well. No one has ever looked at me with such reverence; so deeply, genuinely, like he has. Not even Ryan.

I'm falling for him.

I have been since we first met. Which is terrifying, in a way, yet riveting.

Julia pulls me aside a few minutes after the video ends, and more music starts to play, amping up the vibe of the party as the day begins to shift to night.

"Are you sure you're alright? You're kind of—pale looking." Julia grimaces, then shuffles through her clutch, features lifting a fraction when she pulls out a compact blush kit.

"Just nerves. Nothing that more champagne can't fix. Go with Jer to get some for me, would you?"

Seeing my best friend so flustered when she's always been anything but comes as quite a shock. But I'm also intrigued—enjoying seeing her so worked up after noticing how she keeps glancing at Jeremy under her lashes when he's not looking.

"I know what you're up to, you know," She says as she takes the brush out of the compact, and starts brushing across my cheeks. "I'm not opposed."

"I can tell." Julia taps the brush on the tip of nose with just enough force to make my head jolt backward. "You like him, and he likes you." I wiggle my brows.

"Obviously. What's not to like about me?" The kit clips shut with a clipped snapping noise before its placed back in its respective home within her clutch.

"Take your time." I send her a wink and shoo her away.

Her eyes roll, but the smile on her face is evident as she walks away, swaying her hips as she makes her way over to Jeremy a few tables away.

As I turn to find somewhere to clear my muddled thoughts, I accidentally bump into someone, glimpsing a flash of coppery amber as I swivel back around.

"My apologies—," The woman starts, but pauses when our eyes lock upon one another's.

My stomach instantly coils within itself at seeing who stands before me. Tall, and incredibly gorgeous.

Melody fucking Wright.

a/n
AHHHHQPAMSPQN BABESSSS
oh how i've missed you guys frrrrr
i'm so backkkk oml
(if you saw any typo's let me know, i used my phone to write this)

i pulled two muscles on saturday (btw, OW TS HURTS) and have had the last two days off. when i tell y'all i've been taking advantage of my time off, I BEENNNN

on a more serious lil note, i've been getting surges of inspiration for the past two weeks but when i pull up any of my books, i've had no idea how to pick up wherever i left things off at. it's been frustrating because i want to write, and think about writing nearly every day. when i sit down though, all the ideas just become stagnant and i'm suddenly at a loss for how to continue. ive had the front half of this chapter done for weeks, i just couldn't figure out how to get where it needed to go plot-wise until today (i've been writing for five hours now, about to revise before i publish)

i apologize for taking so long 😭 i also have no idea if this funk will come back or not, but i really hope not.

BIG THINGS COMING NEXT CHAPTER WOOOO

& HOW ARE YOU GUYSSS please tell me, i need to know!! & if y'all have any song recs plssss plug them i need more music to listen to

also: WEEKND TICKETS HAVE BEEN SECURED
i'm going in august, traveling all the way to florida for this man (my friend couldn't go w us unless we got tickets for his show in august so we had to improvise) IM SO EXCITED

til next timeeee <3