chapter eight.

ANNA-JANE spent another night jolting awake from a nightmare, her skin glistening with sweat as her body rattled with fear. A heavy sigh escaped her as she looked over to her wall and see that her air conditioner was on, yet it felt like a hundred degrees. This was going to have to be another thing she informed her therapist on and when she did, she just got the same response.

"A form of PTSD," Her therapist, Mark, noted, "Whatever you experience is going to leave an impression on you physically and mentally. You have nightmares that specifically just replay your kidnapping."

"How do I make it stop?" She asked, but put her finger up, "Without medication. I need to be my sharpest, now more than ever." He raised a brow at her, causing her to glance at her hands, "Prosecutors are making me look like a sympathizer towards actual criminals- claiming that I have Stockholm Syndrome, and that's the reason why I want my clients freed."

"Maybe the medication will have all those rumors be put to bed," He suggested, "It'll show that you're getting treatment done and working on your mental health."

"Or that I can't defend a client in court until I throw back a few pills," She retorted, "I'll skip on the meds for now and take more of an organic method."

"There's relaxing," He pointed out, "You barely sleep which is why these night terrors could be getting worse. They feel so real and current because you are straining yourself."

"I can't close my eyes, Mark," She sighed out, "Every time I do, I just-" She paused, feeling herself tense up as she thought of her torture, "I just see him cutting his throat and him having a smug grin as he did it."

"Have you considered just taking another week off from work?" He asked and she shook her head, "I think you putting yourself ahead of your work would probably help, Anna-Jane."

Again, her head shook, "No, I have to focus on work. It's my only distraction and if I'm home alone for another week, I will lose my mind."

Mark stared at her intensely, noticing her uneasiness. "You're already beginning to," She met his eyes, stunned by his words, "But if you truly feel that way about taking time off, how about spending a day where you are putting yourself as a priority? Meaning, nothing work related whatsoever."

Anna-Jane let out a scoff, "Well what else is there for me to do than the basic needs like feeding and bathing myself? Should I just sit on my couch with ice cream and watch Animal Planet?"

"No because that's not going to help you get to the root of your problem," He then reached beside him and pulled out a book to hand to her. She looked down at it and read the cover to realize it was towards survivors and PTSD, "You can start off by reading a few of those chapters and consider meditation or exercise as a way to help you sleep."

She examined the book more, flipping through the pages briefly, "Mark, I don't have t-"

"'Time'?" He finished and she glanced at him, "It's impossible for a person to work 24/7, Anna-Jane. Find a moment that is good for you and give a shot, okay? And what about today, don't you have the day off?" Hesitantly, she nodded and he hummed with satisfaction at her reluctance. She was a difficult patient of his so far, so her agreeing to his solution was the first step to progress they've ever made. Briefly, Mark stared at his watch, "Well, Anna-Jane, it seems that our session is up. Any final thoughts you'd like to share?"

"Nope, I think that's it," She dismissed happily as she quickly stood up and walked towards the door, "So I'll see you next week, Doc?"

"See you then, Anna-Jane," He hummed, though he also wanted to ask her out for drinks, despite the rule to never date a patient. He found her mesmerizing by tongue; every word she enunciated bringing him to closer to dropping on his knees. Though she'd never know that he felt this way unless he broke the code.

Anna-Jane left his office, feeling unsure of how this book would solve her troubles. She didn't feel like she had no other choice for herself, and though medication was still on the table, she kept that to herself, wanting that to be the last resolution.

She walked down the streets aimlessly, watching the people ahead as they headed to work or just chose to be outside today. She didn't know what else to do today, finding her appointment to be the most pressing matter for the day until it was over. She looked around the area and noticed a park across the street, considering on reading her new book there. She sat down in a secluded area, find a bench sanitary enough to place her bag on.

Before opening the book, Anna-Jane checked her phone in hopes to get a message that was work related just so she didn't have to read. Though, when she saw no notification of importance, a sigh escaped her as she caved and began reading.

The book held more of her interest than she had anticipated, believing she would only manage to get through the first chapter- she was finishing chapter six and the sun was setting. When she noticed this, she glanced down at her watch and closed her book to acknowledge it was close to eight o'clock. She looked around the park to notice no one around, causing a shiver to go up her spine. She never liked being outside late at night by herself, but now she feared it.

She gripped the book tightly and stood from the bench, pulling her bag up onto her shoulder. Hesitantly, she began walking towards the exit, trying to keep her attention forward and her pace fast. She didn't want to keep looking over her shoulder, but she could help herself as she kept peering to make sure that a tree was actually a tree.

When she finally made it out of the park, a sigh of relief almost escaped her until she realized she had a few more minutes of walking before she reached her apartment. She then placed her hands in her pockets, one of them gripping onto the pepper spray she always kept close to her as she finished her walk home.

Anna-Jane felt like her chest tightened up until she got inside her apartment and locked her door- twice. She leaned against the door and slid down until she touched the floor and broke down into tears. She found nothing more fearful than the fact that she would always be this afraid of the world from now on.