Ｄ＇ＹＥＲ ＭＡＫ＇ＥＲ

𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔷𝔢𝔭𝔭𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔫

♜

I open the door to the Formans' basement for the millionth time and stop in my tracks when I spot Fez seemingly playing Twister by himself of the floor.

"What's going on?" I frown in confusion.

"Nothing," Eric shrugs. "Fez is doing... that."

"Hey, Princess," Hyde greets quietly.

"Hi," I beam at him. "How is it going?"

"Great."

"Have you been gettin' any?"

He coughs loudly. "Yes."

"Liar!" Fez chuckles from the floor. "Just last night you were telling me about how you don't want-"

"Shut up!"

I smirk to myself and take a seat on the couch. For the past week or two, I've been holding out on Hyde, just to fuck with him since he was kind of a dick to me with the whole Kat situation. I actually thought it wouldn't be that bad since he got Kat and could probably get a bunch of other girls, but it seems he's had trouble picking people up.

Either way, it's cruel but amusing.

Donna bursts in with a huge smile. "I have the best news!" She notices Fez. "How the hell are you doing that?"

"I'm double-jointed."

"Super. My parents are renewing their wedding vows!"

"Wait, so," Eric grins, "double-dating degenerates and skeezy bar hags just lost its appeal?"

"You'd be amazed how fast skeezy bar hags lose their appeal," Hyde laughs. "But then, like, two beers later, it all comes roaring back!"

"I guess you have not had enough beers, then, since you don't want to get with-"

"Fez, I told you to shut up!"

"No, listen," Donna reiterates. "Finally, the insanity is over! I'm really happy about this, Eric, and you should be too. My parents have been driving me nuts, and I've probably been a little moody lately."

"No, you haven't been moody," her boyfriend replies sweetly.

"Oh, this is great," Kelso groans. "Jackie's going to get wedding fever. Man, all I'm going to hear is, 'Michael, at our wedding, don't shove cake in my face!' And, 'You'd better know how to dance!' And, 'There will not be a trampoline!' I mean, a wedding without a trampoline? That's crazy talk! She even knows what kind of china she wants. Pink and purple with unicorns. Who wants to see a unicorn when they're eating pie?"

"Left leg, yellow," Fez's voice wafts from behind the couch. His head rises into view. "Anastasia, will you please help me get my pants off?"

"Sure."

"Really?"

"No!"

♜

A few nights later, Kelso and I eat popcorn on my couch. "So, what's up?" I ask as he pulls me into his lap.

"I wanted to talk to you about Jackie."

I nod. "Alright. Go ahead."

"She hasn't shown me a single bridal magazine since she found out about the vow renewal."

I furrow my eyebrows at him. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know! Man, ever since I almost burned down her house she's been really distant."

"It's probably because you burned down her house."

"I know. But, I mean, damn! It was an accident!"

I sigh, leaning against his chest. "It might be one accident too many."

He tenses up. "Wait, what do you mean?"

Biting my lip, I sit up and turn to directly face him. "Jackie and Donna and I had a conversation, and she realized that she has a few expectations of you that are unrealistic-"

"I know! I can't control the weather!"

"Shut up and listen. Even if that's true, you both have to try to change for the better. If she doesn't see enough of a change in you, she might leave you."

"You mean... I should get a haircut?"

"No," I chuckle. "I mean that if you want to stay with her, you need to mature a bit."

"Well, damn, Ana! Then I don't stand a chance!"

I kiss his forehead and turn back around, tossing a piece of popcorn into my mouth. "Whatever happens, happens."

"Yeah, I guess. Hey, are you and Hyde dating?"

I purse my lips. "No, we aren't. We had a fling but he was a dick so I'm putting that on hold."

"Oh, that's weird. Because he told us-" He stops himself.

"What?" I press.

"Well, Jackie said I should work on keeping secrets better and you said I should change for the better, so I probably shouldn't tell you."

I exhale heavily. "I already know there's a secret, and I know it's about me, so you may as well tell me."

He hesitates before nodding. "Yeah, I guess that's true. Anyway, he told us in Circle that he doesn't want to do it with anyone else."

I wrinkle my nose. "What? That's weird, he'd usually jump to hook up with anyone."

"Nah, he said something about not being in the mood."

I simply scoff, "That's such a lie," but my mind is racing with confused thoughts.

I shake my head. "Let's go get dressed. Do you have your suit with you?"

"Yeah," he smiles cheekily. "I came prepared!"

"Okay, you can change in one of the bathrooms."

"Thanks, Ana," he grins before pushing me off of his lap and running off.

Once we get to Eric's basement, where we're meant to meet up, the boys' eyes turn to us curiously.

"Where were you guys? We need to go," Eric frowns.

"My house," I shrug.

Hyde raises an eyebrow. "Together?"

"Yeah, we were talking! We do that now!" Kelso grins.

"He's telling the truth," Fez remarks. "If they were doing it, he would tell us, and if he was lying, he would say that they were doing it. Were you doing it?"

I fix Eric's tie. "No, we weren't. Newsflash: guys and girls can be friends without wanting to fuck each other."

Kelso pipes up, "I mean, if you're ever offering, I'd be happy to-"

"Mike, not right now."

Laurie grouchily stomps into the basement.

"Hey, Laurie," Michael greets.

She wheels on him with a scowl. "Where have you been, you idiot?"

"Oh, well, Jackie was-"

"I told you never to say that name to me. We have a relationship!"

"See, that's true, so-"

"Shut up!"

♜

As we prepare for the renewal, I help take the gifts from guests with Hyde and Fez. Well, it's more like I do that with Hyde and Fez watching, not helping.

"Oh, by the way, if anyone asks, this is a glass eye," the former grins, pointing to his right sunglass lens.

"Hey, dude!" an older man with greying hair and round tinted glasses beams, approaching him.

"Hey, Leo. Do you have everything?"

"Yep! I'm ready to go."

"What about your camera?"

"Oh, man, I forgot that."

"You're too predictable, man."

I watch as Hyde hands him a camera and he walks off.

"Who's that?" I ask.

"Oh, that's Leo, my boss," Steven shrugs.

"I didn't know you got a job."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," he winks.

I roll my eyes. "Come on, it's starting."

As Fez hits "play" on the tape player, Midge and her bridesmaids walk down the aisle.

"First of all," Bob says once she gets to the front of the room, "Midge and I would like to thank everyone for coming. It really means a lot to us. The vows we're exchanging were written by our daughter, Donna, who we love very much." 

He turns to his wife and reads the paper in his hand. "'Midgie, I consider it a privilege to be your husband-' Donna, I actually feel that way!"

"'Bob, I'm very proud and grateful to be your wife,'" Midge recites.

"'We've known each other since we were practically kids...'"

"'So we know all the good stuff...'"

"'And all the not-so-good stuff about each other.'"

"'I can't imagine feeling about anyone else the way I feel about you.'"

"'Because I love you. I've always loved you, and I want to make you a promise.'"

"'No matter what happens...'"

"'Good or bad...'"

"'I will always love you.'"

I try not to express the way my heart melts when I hear the words. Something about them just hits differently.

From beside me, Hyde mumbles, "Weddings are hot, aren't they?"

"You're gross."

"Am I wrong?"

"There is no way you're turned on by this."

"Why can't I be?"

"You're scared of commitment. Weddings scare you."

He scoffs under his breath. "Liar. It's natural for me to be turned on at any time. I haven't been getting any and I'll do whatever it takes to change that because men are gross and I am a man."

"That's not what I hear."

His head snaps towards me. "What do you mean?"

I smirk. "A little birdie told me you don't want to hook up with anyone but me."

"Little birdie?"

"So you're not denying it?"

"No!" he hisses. "It isn't true, I've just been... working a lot."

"Liar," I mock. "Besides, do you really think you could get me to put out by acting desperate?"

"I'm willing to try anything."

I roll my eyes and stand to clap for the married couple. "Shut up."

After filing out of the room, I start on my way to my house, since the renewal was held at the Pinciottis' home. I laugh quietly as an arm snakes around my waist and I'm pulled into the familiar pine-scented figure of Steven Hyde.

"What are you doing?" I giggle.

"Carrying you into your house."

"Why?" I query as he snatches the keys from my hands.

He gives me a look. "Do you really need me to answer that?"

I pretend to contemplate it before being plopped onto the kitchen counter.

He closes the door and makes his way over to me, kissing me softly. I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him closer to me as his hands run along my thighs. I break our lips to kiss his neck slowly, and then push him backward, swinging my legs to the other side of the counter.

"Come on!" he whines.

"Do you really expect me to give in that easily?" I taunt.

"You're such a tease," he complains, hopping onto the marble so his back rests on mine.

"Oh well," I shrug.

We sit in silence for a moment. "I just realized something," I gasp giddily.

"What?"

"I haven't thought about James once in the past few days."

"You just thought about him, Princess."

"Yeah, but not in a way where I miss him!"

"Well, good for you. It's about time you got over that asshole."

"He didn't do anything, Hyde," I roll my eyes.

"So why'd you break up?"

I frown. "What?"

"You never told me."

"Why would I? It's not like you care." A beat passes. "Do you?"

"No," he scoffs, "but I thought you might want another chance to talk about it."

"I already did that with Jackie and Donna."

"Jackie and Donna," he snorts. "And they helped you?"

"No, but I'm over it, so it's fine."

I can almost feel him smirking. "Why aren't you answering my question?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Princess, I grew up with an absent dad and an alcoholic whore mom. I know how this works. Why'd you break up?"

"None of your business."

"Did it have to do with me?"

"I said it was none of your business," I growl.

"It did, didn't it?"

"No, it didn't!"

"So why won't you tell me?"

"You're pissing me off."

"Oh, I know. Are you going to tell me?"

I cross my arms stubbornly and stare at the wall in front of me. "No."

"I guess you haven't moved on, then."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I scoff.

"If you're not able to talk about it, you're not over him."

"That is so not true!"

"Oh, it so is!"

I know that he's just trying to coax the truth out of me, but I'm too stubborn to let him win. "Fine. We broke up because I wouldn't wear his promise ring."

"...And?"

"That's it."

He laughs. "Liar. He was too attached to you to leave you just because you wouldn't wear a piece of metal."

"It's the truth."

"Only part of it. Let me guess." He contemplates the possibilities for a moment before perking up. "He broke up with you because you wore my ring but not his!"

"Nope."

"You tensed up. It's the truth."

I turn sharply. "Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"You did, and you're getting defensive because you know you did!"

I huff and hop off of the counter, searching for something to munch on.

"So," he grins cheekily, "if you're over him, does that mean we can hook up more?"

I roll my eyes. "You're such a pig."

"Yeah, and you love it."

♜

Ahaa playful banter

this chapter will be released like 6 days after I write this note but HAMILTON WAS SO GOOD OMG 

As always, feedback, comments, and votes are appreciated!

Love you guys,

Lissy