ＭＹ ＧＩＲＬ

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰

♜

"Children," I mutter fondly as Steven and Fez engage in a pencil-swordfight.

We stop abruptly as we notice Michael waiting outside the car, wearing nothing on his legs except for a pair of-

"Gym shorts?"

"Oh," he shivers, "Something happened. I had to take my pants off."

"Do you shave your legs?" Hyde chortles.

"No! They're just... naturally smooth."

"Naturally smooth?"

"Shut up!"

"Not to worry, Kelso," Fez teases, "the Puberty Bunny will visit you soon."

"Guys, lay off him," I scoff, pushing them away from the flustered and cold Kelso. "Mike, if you want, I can drive you home so you don't have to deal with these assholes."

"Man, thanks, Ana," he sighs, approaching me for a hug.

I sidestep away from him, as the shorts are extremely tight on him.

Eric and a blonde-haired girl that I vaguely recognize step outside.

"So, lab partner," she bites her lip, obviously infatuated with him, "I guess you and I are going to be spending a lot of time together, huh?"

"Yeah, Shelly," Eric nods. "And a good thing, too! Just 'cause, y'know, I shouldn't be alone around a Bunsen burner."

I chuckle quietly, remembering the time he almost burned down the chemistry lab while using one of those, but falter as the girl starts giggling flirtasiously and, frankly, obnoxiously.

"That is so funny!" she guffaws. "Let me go tell my friends you're driving me home." She rushes off with a radiant smile on her lips.

"Well," Steven smirks, "it looks like Shelly has a thing for Forman."

"Yes, and Forman has a thing for Shelly," Fez adds with a laugh. "It's in his pants."

"She's going to invite you to her house," Kelso beams. "That's what slutty girls do when their folks aren't home."

Hyde opens the passenger door to hop in, wrongly assuming that he'll be driven home, and is pushed to the side by Shelly, who is practically bursting at the fact that her crush is taking her home.

"So, Eric, my parents aren't home. Let's go to my house," she says suggestively.

Frowning, Steven shuts the door and wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Don't you have a girlfriend, Forman?"

"That's the best part," Kelso grins. "See, maybe Donna will get jealous, and her and Shelly will wrestle over you."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Eric huffs.

"Oh, really? Think about it!"

He hesitates before correcting himself. "That's the smartest thing I've ever heard."

"Eric," I warn.

He meets my eyes for a moment and seems to contemplate doing the right thing before he shakes his head and ducks into the car.

"I really hope he doesn't do something stupid," I sigh as they drive off.

Hyde snorts. "I hope he does do something stupid."

"I'm cold," Kelso whimpers.

"Maybe you should've worn pants," I shrug. "I'll see you guys later."

"Wait, wait, wait," Steven scoffs. "You're not driving us home?"

"Of course not. Get your own cars. Plus, doesn't Kelso have that van now?"

"I didn't feel like driving this morning!" Michael protests.

"Too bad." I pat Hyde on the back turning to open the driver's side door, but he grabs onto my wrist and pulls me back to him before I can walk away, pressing me against the car.

"Please?"

"Oh, you're begging now?"

"Man, I'm wearing my uncle's boots again, I don't want to walk home!"

"Sorry."

"No you're not!"

"Yeah, I'm not."

"Please?"

"No."

"Princess!"

"No."

"Man, come on!"

"Are we really going to do this again?"

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion before noticing the position that we're in, almost placed in exactly the same way as we were when Eric ditched him for Buddy.

"Ana, seriously."

I smirk, pull his face down to mine, brush my nose against his, and whisper in his ear, "I told you already, Steven. Suck a dick."

Kelso and Fez, who are watching the exchange curiously, burst into laughter. "Burn!"

Hyde grumbles irritably, pushing himself off of me.

Before he can start walking, I open the door for him with a grin. 

He turns to me hopefully and I roll my eyes. "Oh, get in, you big baby."

♜

"Man, Donna saw Shelly practically living in my lap," Eric complains. "How could she not be jealous?"

He fills his mouth with whipped cream and proceeds to add, "I'm hot!"

Fez, whose face is outlined with whipped cream, shakes his head as if his friend is a child. "It's because you are decent, good-hearted, and pure. You know, a sissy."

"I think we need some input from Tater Nuts," Steven smirks. "Tater Nuts?"

I don't know what the whole 'Tater Nuts' deal is, but I snatch the can of whipped cream from him and daintily spray a bit into a spoon before eating it. 

Michael holds out his hand and I pour some directly into his palm before he yells, "Don't call me that! If Donna's not jealous, it means that you're basically in the free and clear. She's giving you the okay to cheat. You've got to cheat."

"That's not true," I scoff. "Donna isn't jealous because she knows that you're loyal to her and that you wouldn't cheat. And that doesn't make you a sissy. It makes you a decent, mature human being."

"Yeah, but it's no fun to date a decent, mature human being. Donna wants someone more fun."

"Tater Nuts makes a good point," Eric concurs, just barely dodging the ball of whipped cream tossed at him by Michael. "I mean, I could be with Shelly right now if I wanted to."

"But you're not," I remind him.

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"Because then you'd have two women when others have none!" Fez wails.

"Face it, Forman," Steven sighs, pulling me into his side and leaning away as I dab at the whipped cream on his chin with a napkin. "You're not a cheater. A wise man once said, 'Know thyself.' That man's name was... Tater Nuts."

Kelso stares at him with sadness in his eyes. "Alright, guys, I've got to confess something. I shave my legs. I just like the way it feels!"

"There's no shame in shaving your legs, Mike," I shrug, eating another spoon of whipped cream. "I think shaved legs are better than a whole fucking forest of hair on there."

Hyde wrinkles his nose. "Princess, what are you doing?"

"What? I'm just saying!"

"No, I mean, why are you eating your whipped cream like that?"

"With a spoon?"

"Yeah. It's weird." A devilish grin appears on his features. Oh no. "Here, I'll help you out."

I leap backwards as he tosses a clump of cream my way, hitting me right in the nose.

"Oh, you did not," I laugh, slowly wiping it off.

"Oh, I did."

The other boys began chanting "Fight!" repeatedly, causing him to coolly take his sunglasses off.

The corners of his lips curl up. "It's on, Princess."

I immediately tackle him, but unsuccessfully attempt to grab the can from him. He easily flips me over, straddles my waist and pins my arms down, something that could be taken the wrong way if not for the current circumstances.

"Finish her!" Eric cheers.

At the last second, I manage to snatch the can from him and spray a glob of whipped cream down his shirt.

He determinedly tries to get the can back, but I toss it to Michael, who keeps it out of his reach.

I almost believe that I've won until, to my surprise... Steven Hyde starts tickling me. And it works.

I squirm under him in an uncontrollable fit of giggles, as it turns out that being baked plus being tickled results in maximum laughter. 

"Steven!" I squeal, struggling to get out of his grip.

"Do you forfeit?" he taunts.

"Let me go!"

"Do you forfeit?"

"Yes! Yes, I forfeit!"

He chuckles softly and climbs off of me, scooping me into his chest.

I raise my eyebrows as Kelso reluctantly hands Eric a bill. "Really?"

They shrug sheepishly and Hyde turns my head so I'm facing him, offering a cheeky smile. "Do you need any help getting whipped cream off of your lips, Princess? 'Cause I'll gladly help."

I roll my eyes, push his face away from mine, and climb out of his arms. "I'm going to go take a shower, losers. See you later."

Before I'm out of earshot, I hear Fez crack another "American" joke. "Hyde, you are so whipped!"

♜

I fiddle with my ring in boredom and listen to Fez continuously ask Hyde, "Is this your card?" which is consistently followed by, "No."

"Hey, Kelso," Laurie smirks, sauntering over to her boyfriend. "I had a dream about you last night."

He turns gleefully. "Really?"

"Yeah. We were doing stuff and it was just hot and sweaty, and I kept calling your name over and over, 'Tater Nuts! Tater Nuts!'" 

She grins up at him expectantly, but he freezes and just stares at her. "Then what?"

She waves him off and watches curiously as he joins me on the couch and wraps an arm around me.

Donna bursts into the basement, a pair of sheer pink panties clutched in her hand. "Hey, Laurie, I found something in Eric's car that I think might be yours."

The boys immaturely gape at the undergarments, their mouths hanging open.

"Please, Donna," Laurie sneers. "I don't wear pink panties."

"Yeah," Hyde snickers. "You'd have to wear panties to wear pink panties."

I laugh quietly when he winces as she hits him.

"Hyde, did you have a girl in Eric's car?" Donna presses.

I peer at him out of the corner of my eye, trying not to make my interest in the question too noticeable.

"No, I didn't."

"Ana? Were you in there with a guy?"

I shake my head. "Sorry, Donna. Those aren't mine. Plus, it kind of smelled like cheese the last time I was in there."

"Oh, that was me," Steven simpers. "Just to mess with him, I spread cheese under the seats." His eyes light up. "Wait, what were you doing in there, anyway?"

I flush. "I was grabbing a pair of sunglasses I left in there! Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Whatever, guys. Whose are they?" Donna fusses.

"Hello?" Fez scoffs. "You have not asked me. Is that so hard to imagine, Fez in a car with a woman?"

"Yeah, okay. Whose could they be?"

"Alright, Donna. I'll help you figure this out," Michael volunteers, snatching the panties out of her hands. He holds them in front of my face for a while before putting them down and nodding. "Yeah. I'd say we're dealing with a woman here."

I sigh. "As far as I know, Shelly is a very trendy person. She's in tune with the most popular trends, and right now, those kind of panties are more in for older women than people our age."

"You didn't let me finish," Kelso frowns. "She's sixteen to thirty-eight years old. And man, she is curvy."

"So what you're saying is, it could be Shelly?" Donna frets.

"No, man, Forman wouldn't cheat on Donna!" Hyde reasons.

"But Shelly's a tramp," Kelso argues. "And you can't turn down a tramp."

"Let's see. Laurie, have you ever been turned down?"

She grins. "No."

"Sorry, Donna."

"Don't feel sorry for me!" she fumes. "Feel sorry for Eric, 'cause I'm going to kill him!"

♜

Hours later, the boys and I stand around the Cruiser as Eric scrubs the last of the cheese from the seats. The panties turned out to be Midge's, which is, by the way, gross.

Shelly has dropped the idea of liking Eric after seeing the panties, much to Donna's pleasure.

"There," he huffs, climbing out of the car, "I think it's safe for human occupancy again."

"Wait, there's something else in here," Michael pipes up, plucking a pair of clean black lace panties from the top of the seat. He immediately examines it. "This isn't Midge's. It's a lot smaller than hers, same age range, and whoever the owner is isn't as curvy but if that chick wears these, she's hot! Damn, Eric, who'd you get with?"

"No one! Donna doesn't wear those."

Steven makes eye contact with me, his lips slightly parted and his ears red, and I glance back with a smirk, waiting for the rest of them to piece it together.

"Who the hell left their panties in my car?" Eric frowns.

"Hyde, you are awfully quiet," Fez observes.

"No, I'm not," he deflects.

The foreign boy follows his gaze to me and his jaw drops. "Anastasia! Are those-"

"Yep."

♜

I dOn't like how i ended this hahaaaa

you guys are all so amazing :)

As always, feedback, comments, and votes are appreciated!

Love you guys,

Lissy