𝟎𝟓𝟓.                           𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

you are my sunshine     ────     christina perri

✩ 𝐣𝐣'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐨 . . .

𝖶𝖤'𝖱𝖤 𝖳𝖱𝖠𝖨𝖫𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖱𝖮𝖲𝖤 𝖢𝖠𝖬𝖤𝖱𝖮𝖭，𝖭𝖤𝖤𝖣𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖳𝖮 𝖲𝖠𝖵𝖤 𝖲𝖠𝖱𝖠𝖧．Brooke and Pope have followed after Rafe which, I think is dangerous. I know, I can't believe I'm saying that, but I don't need Pope and Brooke getting killed by the Rafe Cameron. I know John B is equally worried about them as he is about Sarah. He's driving quickly, or as quick as the Twinkie can drive, hoping to save the love of his life.

We don't know where Rose is taking Sarah, but we're following regardless, not really bothered about the risks.

John B seems tense... tenser than usual, and I suspect there's something else going on with him. I suspect there's something he wants to talk to me about which, personally, I don't like the idea of, but whatever he needs to say, he should just say it because things are rarely strained between us.

He's probably just worried about Sarah, that's what I keep telling myself. She's inside Rose's car unwillingly, and we need to get her back, get Pope's cross, and get the hell away from these people.

We need a win. We really, really need a win.

"She's going to be okay, man." John B doesn't acknowledge me, his hands just tighten on the steering wheel. Okay, he is not in the greatest of moods, that much I can see.

John B has been my best friend, alongside Brooke, for nine years now, and with us being friends for that long, I know him better than most, so I know when he's pissed, and right now he is pissed on a whole other level. I can't tell if he's mad at me or at this situation in general. That part is difficult to know.

Wait. Why would he be mad at me? Not to be self-absorbed or anything, but I haven't done anything wrong. Let's be honest, most of the time, I never do anything wrong. Sure, my friends would disagree with that fact, but it's true.

He knows he can talk to me in the same way that I know I can always talk to him. We've been best friends for a long time, and while we don't cry and give heart-to-hearts often, I've got his back. Whatever he needs to get off his chest, I'm here. I'll listen. I'll offer friendly enough advice.

I should wait for him to speak first because he is obviously the one with the problem.

"Okay." John B sighs loudly, bringing me out of my head. "I have to say something before everything, you know, goes down, and I just need you to..." He glances at me for the shortest moment before refocusing back on the road and the car up ahead.

He's pissed at me. At me! Why?

I shift in my seat, contemplating on if I should jump out of this moving vehicle and risk my life, or sit here and hear him out. He's my best friend, I should be able to take whatever he's about to say to me as he's probably said worse in the past, but knowing that fact doesn't stop me from considering jumping out of this Twinkie for safe measure.

I clear my throat. "Okay..."

Should I be scared? I don't know.

No. If John B was planning on killing me, I'm sure he would've done it years ago. I mean, this guy has known me for most of my life, and I've done a lot of fucked-up shit, so believer me when I say he would've already killed me by now.

No, he needs to talk which might be even worse.

Talking is not something I'm good at. Big speeches, while I offer them, I'm not very good at them. There's only one person I can talk to without any pressure or worry, and that's his sister whose presence is sadly not here.

I want her here, but she isn't here.

I hope she and Pope aren't caught in any trouble. I hope they find their way back to us.

I hope──

"I know about you and Brooke."

I snap my head over to him, not expecting that.

I feel as if he's slammed his foot on the brake, taking all the air from my lungs. I feel like he's snatched any possibility of me responding to that because how do I respond? My mouth opens, but not a single word comes out as I have no idea what to say. Do I agree with him? Do I stay quiet? Does he want me to say something?

If I say something, will he ditch me in the middle of the road?

"I know about you and Brooke," he repeats, but I heard him fine the first time. I think he said it again more for himself so he can wrap his head around that fact. John B knows. It was only a matter of time before he found out, I guess. Brooke and I haven't really done much to hide the fact that we're... whatever we are.

I can't put a label on what we are, not when we haven't had that talk either.

I don't dare look in his direction, already feeling his eyes on me. "Are you gonna kill me?"

"Thought about it," he deadpans. Well, I could always count on John B to be honest with me, that's something.

"When did you, uh..." I swallow, letting him fill in the blank as I can't bring myself to say it.

"A little while ago," he replies, hands remaining tight around the steering wheel. "At the bonfire." Right, I kissed her at the bonfire, and I didn't stop kissing her despite knowing that her brother was just around the corner. "People saw you, it got back to me..." Yeah, I suspected that would happen but I didn't care. I wanted to kiss her in that moment, and she wanted to kiss me. "But I think I knew there was something going on before then, so when did it start?"

Good question. When did it start?

Third grade── that would be the real answer, and I think, deep down, he knows that. I mean, John B and I's first interaction in the third grade was me calling this girl pretty unbeknownst to the fact that I was talking to her brother. We then became friends after I promised I wouldn't call his sister pretty ever again, but what he doesn't know is that pretty is the least tame thing I've called her.

So, if I was being honest, I've liked Brooke since the third grade when I looked across the room and saw her doodling on the table instead of listening to the teacher. I think, for the past nine years, my feelings for Brooke never truly died, they just lingered, waiting for the right moment to surface.

John B knows Brooke and I have a different kind of relationship, and we have since we were kids. While I consider John B to be a brother, I've never looked at Brooke as a sister. Can you freaking imagine if I did? No. No, there's always been more to me and Brooke, and it's only just recently that our friendship has become... this── whatever this is.

Although, if John B wants a more accurate time for when Brooke and I started being more than friends, I guess I could just tell him even if I feel like I shouldn't. Telling John B was always something Brooke wanted to do, and I still want her to be allowed to tell him. I can't take that away from her. It's not fair, but surely she would understand if she knew the predicament I was currently in. Her brother might, and probably would, kill me, so I don't lie to him, but I don't tell him the whole truth.

"Just after Peterkin died and you were on the run, Brooke kissed me," I explain, keeping my eyes on the road ahead. Would she kill me if she knew I was telling him this? Probably. "The next night, I kissed her." And it was the best kiss of my life, but I wasn't about to tell her brother that.

John B inhales sharply, and I suspect he doesn't like that response, but I'm only trying to tell him the truth. I figured that's what he would've wanted, but maybe I shouldn't have used the word kiss in regard to his sister.

John B loves Brooke. She was his first best friend. He protects her like I imagine he will his own kid way in the future. I know he considers me to be his best friend── his brother, if you will── but I also know that his sister means more to him than anybody else in the world, and he'd die protecting her. To him, she's all that matters. She and their dad had a complicated relationship so Brooke always clung onto her brother as he was always there for her no matter what.

With how much he loves Brooke, he's spent his entire life keeping guys away her, especially me, but he's got to know that I couldn't just stay away from her, not when I've had this childhood crush on her since I was eight-years-old. Somehow, Brooke and I always ended up in the same place, and as we got older, the need to be closer and closer to her became stronger. He can push me away from her all he wants, but I cannot stay away from her. I won't stay away from her.

Sometimes I feel like he is too dependent on her, often clinging onto the memories that she and him are just kids again, but we are so past that. We're not just kids anymore, and we've instead found ourselves wrapped in some gold craze where we risk our lives for something we may not even get in the end.

I realise I need to speak.

I like Brooke, I need to make that clear to him.

"Look, man, I don't know what you think, but──"

"I think you and my sister are together, and you have been for a while, but neither of you decided to tell me." His tone is harsh, much harsher than it was previously.

I lean back in my seat. "We aren't..." I swallow, hating the words that are about to come out of my mouth, but I'm doing my best to be truthful. "We aren't together, together."

"So you're using her?"

My mouth gapes, shocked he'd think such a thing. "What?" That's seriously where his mind went, huh? "You really think I'd do that?"

"I don't know, J, you've been with a lot of girls."

Three girls. I've been with three in the past, and while I've kissed more than that, it's different with Brooke. She isn't just a one-night stand or a fling, not like previous girls. She's so much more to me, and John B should know that. He knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't just use his sister, not when we've been friends for years.

She's my best friend. She's my Sunshine.

"Why aren't you together?" His question catches me off guard, but I know I need to answer before he accuses me of using her again.

Again, that is a good question, and I don't have the answer, not really.

I don't know why we aren't together. I haven't asked her to be my girlfriend, and she hasn't asked me to be her boyfriend, so we've just been kissing and laying beside one another at night which has been... really nice. I want her to be mine, and I want to be hers. I want to stick a label on our relationship and tell everybody in the world that we are together, that she's mine.

I should ask her. I need to ask her what she wants.

"I don't know," I say honestly, staring down at my hands that rest on my lap. "I don't know why we aren't, but I want to be with her, John B." I peer over at John B, but he keeps his eyes on the road. "I really like her, okay? I really like her. I'm not using her, and I never, ever would."

John B nods. "Right."

"I want to be with her, John B, and I don't need your permission," I say, not caring if he hates that comment. It's true. While John B's opinion matters most to her, I still don't need his permission to be with Brooke. If I want to be with Brooke, that's between the two of us, not him.

He scoffs, head shaking. "What?"

"Look, she loves you and you're her best friend, and that's fine, but I know her, alright? I know her really, really well, so──"

"What, and I don't?"

"Of course you do, you're her brother, but you've gotta stop keeping this leash on her, man." I press my lips together, immediately regretting those words and the tone I used.

In my peripheral, John B looks over at me, obviously just as caught off guard by my words as I am. "What?"

I sigh, wishing we would reach wherever we're supposed to be and get out of this fucking van. I can't stand to sit in here any longer than I am. "Look," I sigh, knowing I can't just stay silent for the rest of the trip. "I think you're too protective of her, man. She is so much stronger than you think, John B. I get it, alright, I-I get that you feel this need to take care of her, but you are not that only one that..."

His head shoots to one side, his eyes staring over at me, but I look ahead, holding my breath, swallowing my words. I exhale softly, head shaking. "I... I really like her, okay, and you can believe whatever you want, John B, but I want to be with her."

I think I've wanted to be with her for a long time, I just didn't realise it until recently. My feelings for Brooke never really disappeared, they just continued to grow and evolve into what they are now. I think about all that we've done for one another in the nine years we've known each other, and I realise that my feelings have always, always been present in one form or another.

When we were ten, I made her a freaking friendship bracelet with a sun charm dangling from it that she still wears to this day. A couple days after I gave her the bracelet, she made me one and I still have it around my wrist.

When we were thirteen, I kissed her after I overheard girls in our class bragging about being kissed, and saying that Brooke would never have her first kiss until she was old. I walked right up to her, and kissed her, deciding to show those girls that Brooke was worthy of a kiss.

For years, I've called her Sunshine just to see the redness in her face. For years, I've tugged on the ponytail in her hair just to get a reaction out of her. For years, I've stared at her from afar, admiring her. For years, I've wanted her, I just never knew how much.

Th moment she kissed me, I knew I was done for, and while I know I should've kissed her first, I loved how she braved it and kissed me first. I love that she took that leap because, I'll be honest, I was too fucking scared to kiss her first.

Since the first time she kissed me, she's messed with my head in the best possible way.

"I know I can't decide who she dates," John B speaks, bringing my attention back to him. I nearly forgot he was here, I won't lie. "And I know I might be a little too protective of her, but I can't help it, JJ. She's the only family I've got."

"I know." Big John, who was kind of like a father to me in a sense, died, leaving Brooke and John B alone. In the familial sense, they do only have each other, but they've also got us── the Pogues.

"Look, at first I was a little freaked about you and my sister, but I..." I glance at him, waiting to hear the one thing that will push me to do something a little bold but necessary. "I love you both, I do, and I want you both to be happy."

"She makes me happy."

"I know." He sighs, his smile tight-lipped. "And from what I can see, you make her just as happy, so I'm not mad. If you're serious about her, I can accept that you two are..." He's trying so hard not to hurl at the idea of his best friend and sister together, and I can't help but laugh.

"I'm serious about her," I confirm.

"You're serious about her, but you haven't asked her to be your girlfriend?"

I scoff, head shaking. "Okay, I'm waiting for the right moment," I argue, but who am I kidding? I've had plenty of opportunity to ask, I'm just secretly terrified she'll turn around and say no.

"You're scared." Yeah, John B knows me. He knows that I'm scared── downright terrified of asking that girl to be with me. "You don't need to be, JJ. She likes you, everyone can see it."

"Took you a little while to see it."

"Okay." He jabs a finger in my direction. "Shut up."

I laugh, finally feeling as if a weight has been lifted off my chest at the expanse of telling him. When the laughter starts to die, I look over at my best friend, fingers pulling at the hairband around my wrist that belongs to Brooke. "I'm not gonna hurt her, John B."

I'd rather die than let anything happen to her.

He looks over at me. "I know."

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𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 . . .

𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖬𝖮𝖬𝖤𝖭𝖳 𝖨 𝖶𝖠𝖳𝖢𝖧𝖤𝖣 𝖧𝖤𝖱 𝖥𝖠𝖫𝖫，𝖨𝖭𝖲𝖳𝖨𝖭𝖢𝖳 𝖪𝖨𝖢𝖪𝖤𝖣 𝖨𝖭 𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖨 𝖳𝖧𝖱𝖤𝖶 𝖬𝖸𝖲𝖤𝖫𝖥 𝖮𝖥𝖥 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖯，𝖭𝖤𝖤𝖣𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖳𝖮 𝖦𝖤𝖳 𝖳𝖮 𝖧𝖤𝖱．Her body lay face down in the water, and the moment I reached her, I flipped her around, fingers pressing into the side of her neck just so I could feel the steady beat of her pulse.

She's breathing, that's what's important but she's out cold from the force at which the machete hit her. If I had just grabbed the guard before he reached her, she would've been okay. She would've been safe.

She's hurt. I let her get hurt hours after promising her brother that I would not hurt her, that I'd be there for her because I care about her just as much as he does. Now she's laying in the ocean unconscious while I cling onto her, needing her to stay afloat and alive.

Bile rises in my throat as I stare at her, my arm under her back. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that she risked her own life just to save me when it should be me laying in the water unconscious.

"It's okay," I whisper, more to myself than to her as I'm unsure if she can even hear me. "It's okay."

I bring her head to rest on my shoulder as I attempt to keep us afloat in the icy waters. John B would be here soon. He has to be here soon. I didn't even want to know how he would react to finding his sister lying unconscious in the water, but after all that I promised, I don't trust that he's going to want me around her, not in the capacity that I want her anyway.

"Come on, Brooke." My voice shakes, either from the cold coursing through me or the emotion swelling in my throat, I don't know. "It's gonna be okay." I swipe my hand across her head, dragging my fingers back to that pulse point in her neck that continues to thump.

My head fall, resting against her forehead as I hold her as tightly as I can. Her body is cold, as is mine, and with how hard I hold onto her, I try to place some kind of warmth onto her, hating how cold she currently is. I can't warm her though, can I? I'm just as cold.

I need her to open those eyes for me. Those big, know-it-all eyes that I love, and have loved for as long as I've known her. "Open your eyes, Sunny. Please." I lift my head, my hand splayed across her cheek. My thumb rests under her eye, desperate for her to look up at me and smile. "Please open your eyes, baby. Come on."

I swallow the lump forming in my throat as I look at her, waiting for something to happen but she remains still── too still that it's almost like her body is lifeless. I shake my head, emotion crawling up my throat, threatening to unleash as I look at her, keeping my fingers over her pulse in case it disappears, but it remains beating.

Keep on beating. Please don't stop beating.

"Y-You didn't..." My teeth chatter, the coldness of the water catching up with my words. "You didn't answer my question, Sunny. You didn't answer me." I hold onto her tightly, afraid she'll float away from me if I loosen my touch on her. "I need you to answer me, Sunny. Please!"

Not long ago, I asked her if she wanted to be mine, and just when I thought I'd hear her say that word with three little letters, fucking Pope interrupted us. Again. After talking to John B, I had the courage (and approval) I needed to finally ask her the question I've wanted to ask since the moment she kissed me all those weeks ago.

"I need you to..." My head falls again, our foreheads meeting. She's so cold. Too cold. I can't warm her up. I can't help her. "I need you to open your eyes, Sunshine. Please open your eyes."

I love her eyes. I've loved her eyes since the moment she looked at me nine years ago, jutting her hand out to shake mine in the playground. Those eyes are large and bright and so full of thought and life. Over the years, I've come to read her just by looking into those eyes. She tells me so much whenever our gazes meet. Her eyes tell me if she's mad, if she's upset, if she's happy, if she wants me.

I've never wanted to have brown meet blue so badly in my life.

Her eyes aren't just the simple colour of brown though. With how closely I've looked at her over the years, I've come to find that there's so much light behind those pretty eyes of hers. There's sunshine hidden in the brown. Little flecks of gold and amber are seated deep in those big eyes that I really, really want to look into right now. When the light hits her, not only is her face highlighted, her eyes reveal tiny dots of green. It's hard to see if you don't look hard enough, but the green is there. Believe me.

I want her to look at me. I need her to look at me.

"Open those eyes for me, baby." I lift her arm, needing to place it around my shoulders so she stays attached to my side. I don't want to let her go, not for a second. My fingers brush over the bracelet I made for her, finding that it's still clinging onto her wrist. In this sense, the bracelet is acting like a lifeline, keeping her and me fused together in this moment.

If it breaks, will she break?

I should be the one unconscious in the water. I can't stand the fact that it's her lying here when all she did was protect me. How could she put her life on the line for me?

"John B..." I breathe against her skin, lifting my head and realising that he still hasn't turned up. Where the heck is he? "John B! Help!" He's going to find me alive and well with his sister unconscious in my freaking arms after I swore that I'd keep her safe, that I'd protect her. I told myself that I'd rather die than let anything happen to her, but I'm the one that's alive right now. Sure, she's not dead, but she's not awake.

John B is going to kill me, and I think I might let him.

A lump the size of a baseball crowds my throat, emotion swelling in my eyes as I press my hand against her neck, continuing to feel for that beat. My forehead rests against hers, and my words come out stuttered and whispered as I talk. "Open your eyes, Brooke. Please open your eyes. I'm sorry." Something warm slides down my cheek, but I just let it. I can't ignore it.

I think I sob, but the sound is so foreign to me that I don't register it. "We took a vow," I force out, emotion biting my words. "You aren't dying on me, Sunshine. We took a vow. Y-You aren't dying. I need you. I-I... I need you, Brooke. I need you. Please."

I've never begged for much, but I will beg and beg until my throat is raw because I need her to open her eyes, look up at me, and answer my damn question. We took a vow to never die in front of one another, so she is not going to break the vow. I won't let her be the one to die, not when I should've been the one to get hit.

"Stay with me, Sunny. Stay with me." I lean into her, wishing I could warm her up. She's too cold. "I'm sorry," I breathe out, lips brushing against her forehead. "I'm so sorry."

I look away from her, screaming out for John B once again as he hasn't showed up, and his sister needs him. They have this freaking twintuition thing, so he should know that she's hurt. Right? He's going to be here soon. He's going to swing around that corner and find us any minute.

"He'll be here soon, baby." I lean into her, dragging my thumb over the pulse in her neck. It's still there. It's still beating. "He knows about us, you know? John B── he knows. I think he's fine with it, I don't know. I don't care." Tears fall, but I don't wipe them away. I can't, not when Brooke is unconscious in my arms. "I want to be with you. I want you." I squeeze my eyes shut, begging this nightmare to be over. "I need you. You keep me alive, Sunny. You keep me..."

She keeps me alive. She's been keeping me alive since the moment I laid eyes on her. She's acted as my light── my Sunshine── in my dark, pathetic excuse of a life. She's guided me, pulled me by my hand, and dragged me into her world, and I don't want out of it.

I want to have her in any way she'll let me. I want to have her in this lifetime, so I need her to open those eyes because our relationship as one hasn't even started.

I grip her cheek, holding her closer. "You are gonna open your eyes, Sunny." A tear rolls down my cheek, hitting her nose. "You are gonna answer my question, and if you say what I think you're going to say, I'm gonna take you on a date, okay?" I press my fingertips under her eye, wishing she'd open them. "You and me are gonna go on a date," I repeat, voice cracking. "Not just walk in the park kind of date. No, we're going on a real big, stupid date where we eat expensive food in a place we don't belong." I huff out a laugh, more tears staining her beautiful face.

"I'll walk you home because I'm a gentlemen." Sometimes, but she already knows that. "I'll kiss you good night, and hope you invite me in because there hasn't been a day where I haven't wanted you, Brooke. I want you everyday, and I swear if you open your eyes, I'll show you how much."

My thumb brushes over her cheekbone. "I need you, Brooke. I really, really need you, and if you can hear me, come back to me. Come back to me, baby. I need you."

I press my lips against her forehead. "I'll build you that fucking treehouse," I breathe out, lips moving against her head. "We'll get that cat and dog, alright? I'll help you open your own gallery. I'll give you whatever you want, money or not, okay? We'll figure it out, I promise."

I'd give her the entire world. I'd give her every planet, every star, every universe if she opened her eyes for me.

"Open your eyes, Sunshine," I beg.

I hear an engine behind me, and I don't need to turn my head to know who is swinging around the corner.

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❀ soph speaks

i feel like i used the word love one too many times,, but y'all rlly know how jj feels about brooke deep, deep down, lets be honest

john b approves!! (kind of) . . . he still sees brooke as a little girl

i hope you enjoyed a chapter in jj's pov, it was fun to write despite brooke being, you know, unconscious in the water

i'm tempted to write act 3 in dual pov . . .

hope you enjoyed!!