𝟎𝟓𝟑.                          𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐛: 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣

r u mine? ──── arctic monkeys

( i shouldn't have a favourite chapter but this
one is absolutely my favourite so far )

☀︎ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐥𝐲𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

𝖳𝖱𝖠𝖯𝖯𝖤𝖣 𝖨𝖭 𝖠 𝖢𝖮𝖭𝖳𝖠𝖨𝖭𝖤𝖱 𝖶𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖦𝖴𝖸 𝖸𝖮𝖴'𝖱𝖤 𝖨𝖭 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤 𝖶𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖨𝖲𝖭'𝖳 𝖲𝖮 𝖡𝖠𝖣．

In fact, it's like a dream come true.

Like a wish come true.

Having him here makes me forget that the heat in this metal container is almost unbearable. Having him here makes me forget that we're stuck on a ship that's taking us away from our home. Having him here makes me forget about everything, including our friends who have just left through the tiny opening in the side of this container.

It worked out well, I realise. Sure, it would be fun to be involved in the action, but there's also no one I'd rather be stuck with right now than him. He's sitting down, legs outstretched in front of him as I sit upon a pile of cargo and boxes, admiring him from above. 

He's pretty, from any kind of angle, but as he leans back against the side of the container, his eyes closing for a second, I take in all of him as I'm only human after all. Soft hair that I've had the pleasure of touching falls in front of his eyes, some strands sticking to his forehead. Lips firm and slightly parted, and I can't help but smile at the fact that I have kissed them, and I really wouldn't mind doing it again. He swallows, the lump in his throat bobbing, and I suspect his throat is dry from the heat in this damn cage.

Eyes still closed, blue not meeting brown, he speaks, "You're staring."

Yeah, part of me knew that he knew I was staring, and instead of denying it and hiding behind a red face like I always do, I decide to just admit it. "Yeah, I am."

He opens one eye, peering at me. "Hmm."

His eyes close, and I press my lips together, wishing to see both of his eyes stare up at me in the heat of this container.

I like his eyes. I've always liked his eyes. I think I've said this before, but the first thing I fell for were his eyes, and just all that was hidden within them even at just eight-years-old. Hidden deep in that sea full of different shades of blue, I saw him, and I'm still seeing him now. I believe I can read him in a way that nobody else can, and I read him by looking into those eyes he currently has closed. I've seen the hurt, I've seen the joy, I've seen the disgust, I've seen the fear, and I've seen the love. I've seen all that just in his eyes.

So when I say I like his eyes, I mean I love the message behind each look he offers me with those eyes that are still closed.

I press my elbows into my thighs, leaning my chin on my hands as I gaze at him, hoping that he'll open his eyes and look up at me. Part of me is tempted to fall down to his level and steal his attention, but I like being up here so I'm not moving. He can move if he wants to, but I won't be.

"Hey, JJ." My voice is soft, barely a whisper, but I know he hears me as it's only the two of us in this small space. Only the two of us.

His eyes remain closed. "Hey, Sunshine."

I hope he never stops calling me that. I hope, for as long as we both shall live together, JJ calls me that everyday. I hope, in every lifetime, that nickname is reserved for him to only use on me. I hope, in every universe, it's he who gets to say those two words that have my heart doing somersaults and my stomach overturning in the best possible way.

"Wanna play a game?" That has both his eyes opening, and just like always, those eyes find mine easily. Whether it's in the dark, in my bedroom, or even in this damn container, his eyes always, without a doubt, find mine. I grin, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth because I got him to open his eyes.

There's a glint in his eye── a glint I've seen many times in the past. It's playful and teasing, and it wants to know more.

"Truths?" I swallow, nodding, keeping my eyes focused on his. "As many questions as we want?"

"Isn't that always how we play?" Before when we were just friends, we only ever asked one question as it was too risky to ask anymore, but as our relationship blossomed into whatever it is now, we've since scratched the one question rule, and have instead become more daring in what we ask as we now have a need to know more and more about the other.

Sure, we already know a lot about each other, but there's always things we keep locked away in our mind that we don't want anybody else to know, but overtime, JJ and I have shared more and more. He knows my wishes, my secrets, and my desires, and I know all the same for him.

He knows I want a treehouse in the tree we always sit upon during storms. He knows I want a ginger cat, and I know that he wants a dog. He knows I want to be an artist. He knows I want to travel, preferably with him, and I know he dreams of surfing all over the world. He knows I want to have my own gallery, and I know he wants to have his own business. He knows I dream of having more, and that more could be with him if he'll let me have that. He knows that I hate being alone, and that I cling onto those closest to me because my biggest fear is losing somebody I love.

I know that he loves his dad, but wishes he didn't. I know that he believes he's made the mistakes that's led to his father hurting him, but he has no idea how wrong that is. I know that he would do anything for his friends even if that meant putting his life on the line. I know that he wants to get away one day, explore the world, and do what he wants without any kind of consequence. I know that he wants to get the gold, but he cares more about us than any amount of gold or treasure. I know that he hates being alone and is afraid of people leaving him, much like I am. I know he holds on to what he has right now as he doesn't want anybody to take it from him, but nothing could ever pry me from JJ.

I know that, without JJ, I wouldn't be who I am today. As friends or as partners, JJ changed my life the moment he walked into it, and I know that, without him, I wouldn't be half the person I am today. He calls me Sunshine, but he has no idea just how brightly he shines. In all honesty, I think he's brighter than he finds me.

He is Sunshine, and he doesn't even know it.

"Can I go first?" I ask, keeping my smile wide and sweet, my tongue dragging across my teeth.

He presses his lips together, humming. "Sure."

A question comes to mind, and I think it'll make him laugh because, nine years ago, I asked the exact same question when we first met, and I know he didn't have an answer then, so I don't imagine he will now, but I ask regardless.

"What do you think your name stands for?"

His head drops, a smile brightening his face as a laugh pours out of him, warming me from the inside out because there isn't a sound better than that. Just like his eyes, another thing I fell for was his laugh and how free it sounds.

When his head lifts, eyes finding mine once again, his smile is still prominent. "I have no idea."

Yeah, that's exactly what he said nine years ago when I asked. If I remember correctly, John B asked the same question moments before I did, so in my defence, I assumed JJ was a nickname for his actual name, and I still believe that now, but he hasn't got a damn clue what that real name is. I have always wondered what his real name is though, and I try to figure out if it would suit it.

Although, I can't imagine him being called anything but JJ, so it's probably a good thing I don't know his real name.

"Your name has to stand for something."

"It probably does," he replies. "But I don't know what."

Over the years, I've thought of J names, and tried to imagine them as JJ's real name, but I don't believe any name but the one he uses suits him. To me, he's always going to be JJ, and I'll always be his Sunshine to him.

"Hmm." I bite the inside of my cheek, thinking of all those J names that I've heard over the years, seriously trying to figure it out. "Josh?" He scrunches his face up, obviously not liking that one. "Jason?" His face drops, obviously not finding me amusing as I attempt to guess. "Jess?"

He huffs out a laugh. "What?"

"It's a boy's name," I argue.

"Sunny, you know what my name is. It's the same name you moaned the──"

"Don't!" I jab my finger in his direction, mortified that he'd even say that despite us being the only ones in this container. I know my face is red now. Damn him. I was doing so well to contain the blush that constantly hovers on my face whenever I'm around him.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist saying that."

Yeah, I kind of walked into that one, I know I did.

"Can I ask my question now?"

"But──"

"When I find out what my name stands for, I promise you'll be the first to know, Sunshine." I sigh, wishing I could just know as it would be kind of fun to learn what JJ stands for after all these years of knowing him. I guess it's the only part of him that's still a mystery to me.

"Fine," I grumble. "What's your question?"

"If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be?"

"Easy. Time travel," I answer, already knowing that answer since I was a child. It was one of those questions every teacher asked you in elementary school, and I always responded with time travel which, apparently, wasn't the "coolest" or whatever, but I didn't care.

JJ tilts his head. "Into the past or future?"

"Can't I have both?"

"Don't be greedy, Sunny. Past or future?"

Well, I have a reason for picking both the past and the future, but if I really had to pick, I think I know what I'd pick.

"The future."

He exhales, nodding. "Hm. Why?"

"Well, everything in the past has already happened, and you know, everything happens for a reason." I breathe out a laugh, staring ahead instead of at him. "My past has brought me here, and I like it here, so I wouldn't want to go back and change anything about my past. There would be no point."

"You like being stuck in here?"

"Well, not that part." I roll my eyes, letting him realise what I meant by that.

"Oh. You like being stuck in here with me."

"Well, aren't you arrogant." I scoff, but I don't exactly deny the fact that I like being stuck in here with him, so I instead choose to embrace it. "You know, eight-year-old me would be jumping for joy if she knew what her future held."

"Yeah, bet she didn't think she'd be trapped in a tin can with her lifelong crush." He winks, that grin on his smug face never faltering. I stare at him, head shaking in amusement, but I know that eight-year-old me would be overjoyed to learn that she's with JJ in a "more than a friend" way.

"Hey, eight-year-old you would be jumping for joy too," I argue, pointing down at him, knowing that he liked me once upon a time. "Remember, you noticed me first, JJ."

His head falls back, resting against the side of the container as he peers up at me, his smile relaxing. "That I did." The way he says it, so calm and knowingly, has my chest fleeting and warming.

When he told me that he noticed me first all those years ago, I had no idea it would make me feel like this. For the past nine years, I've always assumed it was me who noticed him first. I thought I was the one to trip and fall head over heels, but he absolutely liked me first, and maybe it didn't progress into what I feel right now, but it did progress as we are currently sitting here, ogling one another and grinning like teenagers.

Well, in our defence, we are teenagers, so we can grin and smile and laugh all we freaking want.

"Why would you go into the future then?"

Ah, right, the question he originally asked me before we spiralled off into childhood crushes.

"Well, as lame as it sounds, I'd go into the future just to see how my life turned out," I reply honestly, my shoulders lifting in a shrug as it's such a basic, boring answer, but it's the truth. "To see if I became all I wanted to become, and to see if I achieved all the things I wanted to achieve."

"Do you not think you will?"

"I don't know." Nobody knows, not really. We go through life, making decisions, and not knowing how we'll end up in the end, but it would be interesting to know, I guess. "That's why I'd go into the future and see what it's like."

"But then you'd know what would happen."

"That's not such a bad thing," I reply, dropping my head to look at him. "It would just be nice to know if I got the things I wanted, if the people I have now are still in the future with me."

"Well..." He brings one knee up, resting his arm against it. "I'm not going anywhere, so I'll be in your future, Sunny."

I raise my brow. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

I nod, liking that idea a lot, more than I want to express. "Good. I definitely want you in it."

I want him in any way he'll have me. Whether he chooses to just be friends with me in the future or more, I want him in my future regardless. Although, let me be completely honest, I want JJ in the way that I have him now. I want to wake up alongside him, fall asleep beside him, and spend my days and nights talking with him in this capacity. I love being his friend, but I have loved being this── whatever this is── with him. I've loved sharing stolen glances with him. I've loved kissing him in the dark, hidden away from everybody else. I've loved having him in a way that nobody else has had him.

I love him. I love him a lot, more than I've ever loved anyone. I've been in love with him since I was eight-years-old when I first learnt the meaning of love. As a child, I imagined love to be this silly, fuzzy feeling where butterflies flap around in your stomach, making you feel sick in the best possible way. As I grew up, my concept of love never really changed, and neither did the person. I still feel fuzzy, warm, and tingly around JJ, and those butterflies are still wild and as out of control in my stomach as ever.

My love for JJ has never, and will never, change, and because I love him this much, I want him in every aspect of my future, whatever those aspects may be.

"Do you not want to know about your future?"

JJ scoffs, obviously finding that notion to be ridiculous. "No. I like to be surprised."

"Nobody really likes to be surprised." He narrows his eyes, brow raising like he doesn't believe that. "Okay, so you like to be surprised, but why? What if you could just know one thing about your future?"

"What would that one thing be?"

"Whatever you want it to be," I tell him, leaning forward.

He shakes his head, lips pressed tightly together. "No." My eyes widen. "I still want every part of my future to be a surprise, even the parts that involve you." I press my lips together, my eyes softening.

"Really?"

"I don't wanna rush to the end, Brooke, and you shouldn't want to either."

My eyes squint. "Why?"

"You might not like the end," he replies, his voice hardening. He looks away from me, peering down at his hands that rest on his lap.

"No." I press my lips together. "I'm gonna like the end, whatever it'll be, because you will be in it." His head lifts, eyes now finding mine. "I can see us in our treehouse..." A laugh bubbles out of me as I picture us in my head, and I catch his lips upturning at the thought. "...reminiscing over times like these. We're gonna be old and grey and wrinkly, but you're still going to be mega fine."

A laugh pours out of him, loud and welcoming. "Mega fine, huh?"

I laugh with him, feeling more free now than I have in weeks. "Oh, yeah. You know you're gonna be, JJ."

"You're gonna be mega fine too, Sunny." I roll my eyes, but I know my face is warming at the stupid compliment as it always does whenever he says the smallest thing to me. "We are gonna be fine, angel."

My laughter slows. "What's with the angel?"

"What?"

"You called me angel the other day, and you just did it again..." Not that I hate it or anything. Actually, I think I love the nickname more than I let on, but I am curious as to why he calls me it all of a sudden. "Why?"

"I don't know," he admits, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees in front of him. "It just came out the other day, I guess, but it feels right to call you that."

Well, how on earth do I respond to something like that? He has my body feeling warm, my heart feeling full, and my head feeling fuzzy. The smile on my face never falters around him. No, it just remains high and bright like the sun.

"I feel like I should call you something."

"You can call me whatever you want, angel."

Yeah, just like how calls me Sunshine and Sunny, angel has my mind spinning out of control and my heart leaping from my chest. Honestly, he could call me anything, and I think I'd react in the exact same way.

"You know, you're more like Sunshine than I am."

His head tilts. "How so?"

"You're this really bright... presence in my life that, if you went away for even a second, the light in my life would disappear." I look away from him, staring at my feet as they dangle down. "I don't want you── the light── to disappear, JJ."

"I'm not going anywhere," he replies.

"You're brighter than you realise, JJ."

"Sunny..." I sigh, knowing he's going to say something I need to listen to. He brings himself up, moving to step over to me. I watch him, keeping my hands wrapped around the edge of the cargo I'm sitting upon. I'm leaning forward, bringing myself close to him as he presses his hands on top of the cargo, resting them just beside my thighs.

"Hi," I breathe out, eyes flickering down to his lips, wishing to kiss him.

His eyes also fall, holding my lips for much longer than my eyes did. "Hi."

"You're standing up."

He nods firmly. "That I am, Sunshine. Very observant, aren't you?" I swallow, pressing my lips together as I inch closer, wanting to be even closer to him.

Suddenly, the container feels smaller.

"Hey." My eyes meet his, my teeth pressing into my bottom lip. "Sunshine, the only reason you think I'm bright is because of you."

I exhale a laugh, head falling forward and resting against his shoulder. His hand lifts, thumb brushing against my thigh which sends an electric current up my leg. I lift one arm, draping it over his shoulder, letting my fingers push into his hair.

I dig my forehead into his shoulder. "Hey, JJ."

He hums, moving his thumb back and forth against the skin of my thigh, soothing me in a wonderful kind of way. "Hey, Sunshine."

"I really, really like you."

I love you is what I want to say, but I can't do that to him. I can't say those words, not when I know he isn't there yet, nor do I think he'll get to that point anytime soon. I settle for the like word as that's the safest choice, and I know that it's a mutual feeling then.

I pull my head back, fingers squeezing the back of his neck. "I really, really like you," he replies, chorusing my words. "So I, uh, have a question I wanna ask you."

My mouth gapes. "What?"

"Would you be mine?"

I feel tears spring in the back of my eyes as I stare at him, feeling this great overwhelm in my chest. "Yours?"

"I'd be yours too if you... if you said that word with, uh, three little letters."

"Hmm." I press my forehead against his. "That's very tempting," I breathe out. "So, if I said yes... I'd be yours, and you'd be mine?"

"Yep."

Well, I know what I want to say. I've had the answer to that question for nine years, and it has never, ever changed.

"Well, I──"

We hear a gentle tap which brings our attention away from each other and the bubble we've trapped ourselves in to the noise coming from outside the container. JJ groans loudly when he hears a familiar voice── a voice that has often cockblocked us. "Hey. Open up."

"You've got to be fuc──"

"Hey." I jump down off the cargo boxes, pressing myself into him. "Hold the question, okay? I'll answer later." I lean up, brushing my lips against his cheek as a reminder that I will answer him later.

"Oh, don't do that to me, Sunshine."

"You've gotta be patient, J."

"One word, three little letters, angel." He winks, squeezing my hip as I pass him, moving towards the grate to let our friends in.

One word, three little letters. If I say it, I'm his.

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❀ soph speaks

i love my couple a lot <3

there's going to be a jj pov chapter very soon and a teeny flashback :) very excited to write it!

thankyou so much for reading