𝟎𝟑𝟕.     𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐬, 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

yellow ──── coldplay

( i love this chapter wholeheartedly )
warning: mature content

☀︎ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐥𝐲𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

𝖨𝖥 𝖨 𝖢𝖮𝖴𝖫𝖣 𝖣𝖤𝖲𝖢𝖱𝖨𝖡𝖤 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖥𝖤𝖤𝖫𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖨 𝖧𝖠𝖵𝖤 𝖱𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳 𝖭𝖮𝖶 𝖨𝖭 𝖠𝖱𝖳，𝖨 𝖶𝖮𝖴𝖫𝖣 𝖣𝖤𝖲𝖱𝖢𝖨𝖡𝖤 𝖨𝖳 𝖡𝖸 𝖲𝖨𝖬𝖯𝖫𝖸 𝖯𝖠𝖨𝖭𝖳𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖤𝖭𝖳𝖨𝖱𝖤 𝖯𝖠𝖦𝖤 𝖸𝖤𝖫𝖫𝖮𝖶．The colour yellow represents many things, but I would paint the paper yellow as a symbol of the happiness I feel right now.

Happiness because my brother is back home, safe for the most part, but home nonetheless. Without him, I've been completely down on just about everything. I missed him more than I've ever missed anyone, and I truly felt like I'd lost a part of me when he wasn't in my life for those horrid eighteen days. He's back, and most, if not all, of my happiness stems from that single fact.

However, I feel like painting happiness because of Sarah. I didn't realise just how much I needed her presence back in my life because, whether she knows it or not, Sarah Cameron is a shining figure in this story── a radiant, ethereal being who quite literally defines the word beauty. The moment I saw her, she just brought this newfound light that I really missed. I'm very grateful that dandelion I wished on brought her and my brother back to me. I couldn't have asked for a better sister, let's just say that.

Sure, there's been some disrupts and bumps, but overall, it's been one of the best days of my life and an even better birthday. I feel this unbelievable sense of relief and bliss from how easily today flowed which, annoyingly, scares me just a little for the future. I mean, what is going to happen now that John B and Sarah are back? Will the cops find us? Sadly, I fear they will.

I can't focus on that, not when I've just had one of the best days of my life, and it only gets better when I hear two words I never get tired of hearing.

"Hey, Sunshine."

Of course, I want to paint that page yellow because of him, and how, for the past eighteen days, he's been this light at the end of the tunnel. He's no longer just this dream in the back of my mind, he's now become this beautiful and exciting possibility. I feel, if I trust myself enough, I can truly give him my all── whatever that may be.

I'm sitting outside, legs dangling off the dock. It's late, and it's sadly no longer my birthday as it's two in the morning, but I found that I wanted to be outside rather than in the Chateau that's been trashed by the lovely Barry. Sarah and John B are sleeping inside, and until just now, I thought JJ was sound asleep. Instead he's out here, staring down at me with a familiar smile on his lips.

I peer up at him, unable to hide my own smile as I'm always happy to see him── another reason the page should be yellow. I don't know how he does it, but his presence just makes me ridiculously happy. I really can't imagine not having him around, not for a second.

He is the yellow that will paint the canvas. In fact, his smile alone is the yellow that will paint the canvas.

He sits down next to me, kicking his own legs off the dock. His leg brushes against mine, but I don't shift away. Instead, I push my leg against his too, our thighs now touching. Why would I? I welcome his touch more than anybody else's, and if I had any sanity, I'd have his fingertips tattooed on me.

I really am insane, aren't I?

"What you thinking about?" You. Always you.

I don't say that even though that is what I'm thinking about. I say what I was previously thinking about before he suffocated my mind. "Yellow is the colour I'd paint the page if I could describe how I'm feeling in art," I say, voice hoarse as my throat is dry.

"Yellow, huh?" He leans back, resting on his elbows, and again, because I'm only human, my eyes skim his body absentmindedly. He's wearing a shirt now as opposed to being shirtless earlier in the hot tub, but he's still breathtaking to me in every single way. I don't know how he does it, but he somehow manages to captivate me with a simple movement such as innocently leaning back.

I truly am weak, aren't I?

"My eyes are up here, Sunny." Busted, but I couldn't care less. He's hot, he knows it, case closed, don't judge me.

My eyes meet his, teeth tugging at my bottom lip as I stare at blue. Even in the dark, they're clear as day to me unlike the brown in my eyes that, unless you look hard enough, are difficult to see in such darkness. I think, however, in light or dark, JJ's eyes always just have a gravitational pull towards my eyes.

"Why haven't you painted the page?"

That's a good question── one I hadn't anticipated answering, but I think I do have an answer to explain why I haven't grabbed my sketchbook and my old, chalky paints to paint an entire page yellow to remember this joyous day.

"I don't think the page is completely yellow yet. I think it's about..." I pause, pressing my lips together. "...three quarters of the way done."

"And what would fill that last quarter?" The question he asks is innocent in nature, but the drop in his tone has my entire body igniting with little, fiery sparks that I don't seem to have any control over.

I shuffle, choosing to cross my legs rather than having them hang off the dock. He stills, body still pressing back on his elbows as he watches me, waiting patiently for an answer I'm unsure I have. Instead, I divert away from the question, choosing to say, "Wanna play truths?"

"Are you avoiding my question?"

"Is that your question for truths?" I bite back, smiling harmlessly which brings a chuckle out of him, his body vibrating from the action.

"You know, I'll just ask the question again."

"No, you have to ask something else."

"Says who?"

"Says me," I scoff, leaning back so my head rests against the wood pillar behind me. "Now, do you want to play truths or not?"

He sighs, manoeuvring so he mirrors my posture. However, instead of crossing his legs like me, he leaves his left leg to hang off the dock while the other leg tucks under his left thigh. He leans his head back against the matching wood pillar.

There's a good distance between us── one I want to squash, but I have to restrain myself for the time being. We're playing truths, and the last time we played, things got a little dangerous and primordial. I'm counting on that happening again.

JJ clears his throat, bringing me out of my head. "Go ahead, Sunny."

I have the question locked in my head, tucked away in a part of my mind that I haven't accessed as I'm unsure if I want the answer to this question, but I feel it's an important question to ask. Also, I think it's serious enough that it can be properly discussed and developed.

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Not here," he answers. I stare at him blankly, pushing him to elaborate. "When all this gold stuff is over, I wanna just take off, you know?" I continue to stare at him, not saying a word as I listen. "I wanna get a surfboard and just go wherever the waves take me."

My heart patters gently, stomach tightening at the idea of him not being here with me── of him just taking off once we get this gold. Like I said earlier, he's a huge, warm, and welcoming presence in my life, and I really can't imagine my life without him.

"Would you come back?" I think he hears the slight desperation of hope in my voice as his voice softens with his next words.

"Why would I need to come back? You are coming with me, Sunshine." My eyes bulge in surprise, not expecting him to say that, but I don't know why I didn't anticipate him saying that. He knows I'd love to travel and see places outside of the Outer Banks, but I guess I never expected him to pull him along with him and the waves.

"You want me to come with you?"

"We can get a sugar shack down in Costa Rica." That single comment has my heart hammering in a way I didn't know possible because he remembers a silly pipe dream of mine. Me, Dad and John B often talked about moving to Costa Rica to live in a sugar shack, and now I may get to do that with JJ.

I like that idea. I like that idea a lot.

"Will you build the sugar shack?"

"I'll build you whatever you want, Sunshine." Much like the treehouse he will build me one day, he's willing to build me a freaking sugar shack down in Costa Rica.

"And we'll have a cat?"

"A ginger cat," he corrects. "Named Wotsit."

"And a dog," I add, nodding my head.

He chuckles. "And a dog who likes cats."

"I like that," I tell him, face warming from the idea of not just his future, but our future. In one way or another, JJ and I will still have something of a relationship in five years, and that means more to me than he will ever know.

In five years, we'll be starting our twenties together. I like the sound of that.

"What about you, Sunny? Where do you see yourself in five years?" Other than with him, I do have another silly pipe dream that I want in five years time, and I think he knows all about it as I mentioned it when we first discussed the gold situation.

I look out to the water, a gentle breeze brushing past my face as I speak. "I want my own gallery," I admit, and while I've said it out loud before, it's always sounded silly until now. Perhaps saying it to JJ in the safety of this bubble we've created in the dark is the reason why I don't find my dream so ridiculous anymore, so I just let the words fall out my mouth easily. "I want a place where I can display my art. I want the pages of my sketchbook to be displayed big and large in an art gallery for everybody to see── for everybody to see that I, Brooklyn Routledge, achieved something pretty great."

I turn my head back to JJ, finding his eyes to be already on mine. That relaxed, lazy smile is on his lips, and I'm warmed that I get to witness it in the dark, away from everybody else. I like that I'm the only one who gets to see him like this, it makes me feel fuzzy inside.

"You're gonna get it."

My head falls to my shoulder, a scoff falling from my lips. "How do you know?"

"I just know." I bring my head back up, sighing loudly as I want it to be true. I want my dreams to come true just as much as I want his dreams to come true. "You're gonna get it, Brooke."

I know he's serious as he's saying my name. He really holds this belief that I will get the dream that I long for── that I will get my art gallery, and get that chance to display all my hard work for the whole world to see.

"But──"

"You're gonna get it," he repeats, voice hardening. I decide to not argue with him, I just nod firmly, choosing to trust his belief.

Besides, if that dream doesn't work out, I'll follow JJ to ends of the Earth, chasing the waves. I like that dream too, and if it means having him by my side, I think all will be okay.

The truth is, neither of us know where we'll end up in five years, but I just hope that JJ is still my best friend. I still hope that he's here, watching over me with that smile I love so much. I still hope he's the one I turn to when I need to talk or play a silly game of truths. I just hope he's there. I want him there── in my future.

"As long as you're definitely there in five years, I think all will be okay," I say, voice as soft as a whisper that I fear he doesn't hear me, but based off the lift in his lips, he hears me perfectly.

"Well, as long as you're there too, Sunshine."

Oh, I absolutely will be in one form or another.

Out of everybody in our crew, including my brother, I do believe that JJ is the one I will see the most in the future. I imagine that Sarah and John B will experience their own life with one another, whatever that may be, and I'll experience my life with one of my favourite people right next to me, tugging me along. I'm unsure where Kiara and Pope will end up, but I do like to imagine that Pope will be running the world by then.

"I just hope we're finished with this gold shit by then," I admit, my laughter breathy.

"You don't wanna be crazy rich, Sunny?"

"Of course I wanna be crazy rich, JJ, I just don't want us to still be hung up on gold in five years." Who doesn't want to have four-hundred million dollars worth of gold? "I obviously want to take back what's rightfully ours and make a life with all that money. How else will I afford my gallery?"

He nods in my direction. "Exactly."

"But if we keep going down paths that are dangerous and... hard just because of gold, one of us is actually going to end up in prison." I mean, John B is on the verge of being sent to prison if we're not careful, and I'd hate to see that happen. If he does go to prison, I fear for what will happen following that. He's not a criminal, not in any sense of the word, but a judge and the entire police force won't care about that. They truly believe he killed Peterkin, and until we can clear his name, I fear the worse.

"Or hell, one of us is going to end up dead." It's a morbid thought to have── one I hate to have, but I have to consider that fact. If we aren't careful, something could happen to us, and we could end up in a life-or-death situation. I can't lose someone I love, I can't afford to.

JJ breathes out a laugh. "Brooke──"

"I'm serious, JJ. At the end of the day, is the gold really worth the cost of one of our lives? I mean, Sarah nearly died." I wasn't there to witness it, but John B could've come back alone after losing the love of his life, and that would have been horrible. She nearly died trying to get that gold back from Rafe and Ward, so it's understandable that I'm a little concerned about our safety too.

"Of course the gold isn't worth one of our lives." He leans forward slightly, pushing his head off the wooden post. "But we're careful, Sunshine, we're going to be fine."

"You don't know that, JJ."

"Brooklyn, we are fine. Sarah is fine." I sigh, pressing my head back against the post. "Besides, I'm going to die in a really cool way." My head falls forward, mouth gaping as I stare at him with wide eyes.

"What?" I breathe out.

"I'm going to die in a really cool way," he repeats. "Like in some kind of heroic battle for the death, of something stupid like that." There's humour behind his voice, but there's no humour on my face because I can't even joke about him dying one day── heroic battle or natural causes aside.

I shake my head, my chest tightening. "JJ."

"Oh, come on, Sunny, I'm just messing."

I stare at him, a frown on my lips. "We took a vow, JJ── a pinkie promise vow not to die." I stretch my leg out, and JJ instinctively reaches his hand out, resting it upon my ankle. "I can't even joke about you dying, JJ. I can't imagine you not..." My head drops.

He exhale loudly. "Brooke──"

"I just don't want anything to happen to you or..." He squeezes my ankle softly. "...anyone, JJ. I'm scared that this gold business is gonna bring one of us down one day, and I just can't afford to lose anyone I care about."

"Brooke, I've told you once before, I'll tell you again." My eyes flick down to his hand encircling my ankle, and as he leans just an inch closer, I meet his gaze. "You aren't gonna lose us."

I don't understand how he can be so uncertain of something we know little about. He has no idea what could happen in the next few years, and if we're still hung up on this gold crap in the upcoming years, something tragic could happen, and I just can't afford to lose those I love. I mean, Sarah nearly died for the gold, but my dad did die at the hands of Ward because of bastard gold.

This gold is dangerous, I just know it.

JJ keeps his fingers on my ankle, fingertips dancing along the bone. He's bringing comfort and warmth to me with the simple brush of his fingers on a delicate part of my skin, and he has no idea how much I appreciate his touch. "Wanna ask me another question?" A smile touches my lips as I know what he's doing. He's trying to distract me from my previous thoughts of death that are eating at my mind.

"I thought we only got one question each?"

"When have we ever played by the rules, Sunny?" He makes a fair point.

"Fine. One more question each?"

He nods, fingertips squeezing my ankle. "Yep."

Another question comes to mind── a question that is so far from what we were previously talking about, but a question that has eaten at my mind even before I ever kissed JJ. However, this question I find myself wanting to ask is a little odd, and it may make him uncomfortable if I bring up this awkward topic.

He tilts his head, a stupid grin playing on his lips like he can read my mind. In some ways, I do believe he can actually read my mind, but not in this case, there's no way. "Sunshine?"

"Your first time," I begin, voice quiet. "What was that like?"

He stares at me for what feels like years, just staring, eyebrows furrowed like he doesn't understand the question but he must understand what I'm asking. I don't want to have to spell it out for him, but what if he genuinely doesn't understand what I'm asking?

"My first..." I glare at him which brings a laugh out of him. "Why you asking?"

Good question. Why am I asking? I guess I'm asking because, for as long as I've known him, JJ's always attracted girls. I mean, even at eight years old, every pigtail-wearing girl in our class had a crush on him, and it's no different now. I've seen him drag girl after girl into the Chateau. I've seen him kiss several girls in corners of parties, right in front of everybody else. I know he's experienced, more than anyone else I know── more than me.

I guess I'm asking for my own clarification. I mean, if our relationship progresses to, you know, that, will I be compared to every girl he's been with? I guess it's just my insecurities talking when I wish they'd shut up, but I can't help it. I'm the one who's been in love with JJ for eight years, not these other girls, so if anything stronger and truly life-altering happens between us, I want it to be just us because I have waited for him for years.

Instead of answering his question, I choose to be petty. "Is that your question?"

He scoffs, head shaking. "No."

"Then answer my question," I push, resulting in his fingertips pressing into the skin of my ankle a little harder than before.

"It was... fast." He scrunches his face up, not liking that choice of wording, but I don't think he knows how best to explain it. "It was strange and weird and fast." I can't help but laugh which brings a smile out of JJ. "What?"

"That's it. It was fast?"

"Yeah, it was." He shrugs, fingers still moving absentmindedly along my ankle. "It was quick, and when it was over, she just got up and walked off. I don't even remember her name."

I scoff, still laughing. "You didn't get the name of the girl you had sex with?"

"Hey, she took off before I had the chance."

"Well, you must've not been very good," I utter, pressing my lips together to stifle my laughter.

"Wow." He shakes his head. "This is coming from the girl who hasn't even had sex." I rear my head back, eyes widening as my lips part in surprise that he came at me with that comment.

"Excuse you?"

"I'm sorry, am I wrong?"

I swallow, head shaking. "No."

"Then you have no idea if I'm good or not but..." He drags the tips of his fingers up my ankle, moving them upwards. He leans off the wood beam until his fingers brush across my bare knee, sending a new feeling up my spine that has me pushing off the beam. "I am good."

"I bet everyone thinks they are."

"Well, I guess you won't know till you know." He falls back, resting against the wood beam again as I stay forward, eyes boring into his.

I think I'd now paint the canvas yellow, brown and blue to see what that creates.

I hum, pulling my eyes off him as an embarrassing colour crawls up my neck, warming my already red face. Of course, I can never hide away from JJ, not even in the dark where I thought I was protected. "You're red, Sunny. Something you wanna tell me?"

Oh, this smug bastard.

I lift my head, our eye colours clashing once again to create that spiral I want to recreate on paper. No, there's nothing I want to tell him, but if I stay silent for too long, I'm sure he'll figure out where my traitorous head has took me.

"How many have there been?" is what I find myself asking next, but I immediately want to take the question back as I don't think I want to hear about his conquests, especially if he described his first ever time as "fast, strange, weird, and... fast again".

His hand moves up and down my leg, circling around my ankle and dragging upwards in a tantalising motion. "Why do you wanna know?"

"I-I don't..." The words catch in my throat as my head becomes dizzy from the fact that he's touching me. Even if he's only lightly touching a tiny part of my body, I still feel extreme heat run down my spine, gathering at my neck. "I don't... want to know, I'm just asking."

"Oh." He doesn't believe me, I can hear it in his voice. "Brooke." The sternness in his voice has me lifting my head to meet his gaze. It's rare he calls me by my name, so I know he's about to say something real that I need to listen to. "I'd never compare you to anybody else."

I exhale, a little surprised. "What?"

"I'd never compare you to anybody else," he repeats, placing further emphasis on his words. "When I'm with you, Brooke, I'm with you, and only with you."

I believe him, I do. I believe that when he's with me, he's with me, but I still feel that sinking anxiety low in my gut whenever I think about being compared to those past girls── to those past girls who got to have him in ways I've never had him, in ways I'm scared of having him.

JJ shuffles forward, stealing my attention. He pushes away from the wood pillar, his hand sliding up my leg as he moves. I attempt to ignore the train of electricity running up my leg, creating a wave of goosebumps, but it's difficult to ignore when he's intoxicating me in every way.

"Do you really think I'd compare you to anybody else? Do you really think I'd think about anybody else while I'm with you?" I stare forward, seeing the genuine look in his eye as I hold my breath, a little afraid to voice my insecurities. "Believe me when I say I am not thinking about another soul when I am with you, alright?"

I nod slowly, remaining silent. "Brooke."

"I know," I force out, chest tightening. "I-I just want to know how many have..."

"Three," he answers, not pushing me to complete a sentence that was already making me twitch with unease. "There's been three."

"In total or since..."

"In total," he replies, fingertips pressing into my kneecap as a small act of comfort.

That's... not as many as I thought. Sure, for a sixteen-year-old boy, it seems like a lot, but with the way people have described JJ and his behaviour, I just assumed there had been girl after girl. I've seen him with more than three, I swear, but maybe he hasn't slept with them, maybe he's just── Okay, my mind is taking me to dangerous territory again, and I think he notices.

"Sunny." His fingers glide upwards, pressing into the skin of my thigh, urging me to look directly at him as he speaks. "Ask me whatever you want."

"What about girls you've just, you know, fooled around with? I-I mean, I've seen you with..." I don't finish my sentence, I let him fill in the blank, and I'm relieved he does.

"Three, Brooke. Any girl I've fooled around with, I've had sex with, okay?" He sounds sincere, and even though this night has taken a turn to an area I never thought we would talk about, I'm still grateful that he's being honest. "I've kissed more than three, yeah."

"Do you know how many?"

He sighs loudly, but I don't think he's frustrated, I think he just doesn't know. "No."

"Okay." I nod slowly.

"Do you know how many people you've kissed?"

I swallow, looking away from his as I utter a single word, "Two."

"Two?" I don't know why he sounds surprised. He knows me. He knows me better than most, so he knows damn well that I don't just go ahead and kiss people I see. "What? Me and Kie── that's it?"

I breathe out a laugh. "I-I don't know why you sound surprised. I can't just go and kiss people, JJ. I have to have some kind of relationship with somebody before I kiss them."

His head drops. "Oh."

I lift my eyes, looking directly at him. "You know that, JJ. You know I can't just kiss someone I barely know. You know I haven't had sex because I'm too afraid of being vulnerable and open and seen. You know all that, JJ."

"Yeah, I do." His head lifts, gaze clashing with mine. "I know you, Brooke, I do, but you shouldn't be afraid." Delicately, his fingers move on their own accord, circling my kneecap. "You're beautiful, Sunshine. Any guy or girl who gets to be with you should be worshipping the ground you walk on."

My throat swells with emotion because I've never been described in such a way, not by JJ. "Really?"

"I know I worship it." His head tilts, eyes searching mine for a short moment, and a smile brushes my lips. "Brooke, I don't compare you to anybody else. I compare everybody else to you."

I furrow my brows, a laugh rippling out of my throat. "T-That doesn't sound..."

JJ laughs too. "Yeah, no, that didn't sound as cool as I thought it would."

My head falls forward, laughter continuing to fall from my lips and into his ears. My head presses against his forehead. His hand flattens upon my knee, squeezing gently. "You haven't asked your question," I say, swallowing the lump forming in my throat.

"I don't think you'll answer," he breathes out.

"Ask me," I say. "I owe you about a million."

"What would fill the last quarter of the page?"

He's circled back to that question── the question about the yellow paint and the colouring of the page. I told him the page wasn't entirely yellow, not yet, so now I should tell him how I can fill that final quarter of the page.

I pull my forehead off his, our faces still close, our noses brushing together as I look at him. "Well, the page would be yellow because I'm happy, you know, but only three quarters are filled because one, John B came back. Two, Sarah came back. Three, we all got to be together again."

"Right, so what would fill the last quarter?"

"You."

His head rears back, eyes wide. "Me?"

I nod, reaching my hand up tentatively to press my hand against his cheek, fingers moving to rest under his jaw. "I think you alone can fill every quarter of the page."

He drags his tongue along his bottom lip, a grin on his lips. "Oh, yeah?"

I nod, my face warming as I press my forehead against his. "Yeah," I exhale, dragging my nails across his jaw, pushing them to the back of his neck where I tug at the ruffles of hair there, pulling a small sigh out of him. "You make me feel yellow, JJ."

Blue meets brown. "I do?"

"You know you do," I utter.

He leans into the touch of my fingers, forehead brushing mine. "Can I make you any other colour?"

The deep tone of his voice has my body pushing into him, and a noise I don't recognise crawls out of my throat. I swallow, eyes flickering from his to stare down at his lips and the gentle curve on them. I've kissed them. I want to kiss them again.

"What other colour?"

His hand lifts off my knee, moving to rest on my face. His swipes his thumb against my cheekbone, his fingers gripping my face. "Red."

His lips crash against mine, bruising and hard.

Both hands now grip my face, pulling me just that inch closer. My hands reach for his shirt, and instead of pushing him away from me, I pull him into me, needing his body on mine. He's demanding, he's consuming, he's aching and urgent, and I'm struggling to catch up with him as his tongue slides across my bottom lip, pushing my mouth open.

I close my mouth around his, attempting to match his dominating pace. My hands glide up, grasping his shoulders as he pushes himself towards me, letting my back hit the wood post behind me.

No, he always gets to do this── pin me, push me, command me. He always gets to have me right where he wants me, so I decide right then and there that I want to push and pin and command.

I yank back, lips detaching. His eyes remain closed, waiting for me to meet him in the middle. I huff out a laugh, placing a hand on his chest. "Can you, uh..." I inhale through my nose, fingers digging into his shirt. "Can you just..."

His eyes blink open, his breathing heavy. "What?"

"Can you, uh, sit back?" I swallow the fear climbing up my throat, a little worried that he may ignore me and pull himself away.

But, of course, he doesn't ignore me, instead nodding. A stupid shit-eating grin graces his lips, bringing an eye roll out of me as he moves away from me, his hand falling to my leg as he leans back against the opposite wood post.

Okay, I can do this.

I lift myself up and onto my knees, shuffling across the wooden deck── which hurts, by the way── to reach JJ. He stares at me, eyes moving from my face down my body, watching as I stop in front of him. I then lean forward, placing both hands on his shoulders to balance myself as I drag myself closer to him until my thighs press into his.

His hands reach out, grasping my hips as I lower myself down until I'm straddling him. He inhales sharply, fingertips pressing into my hips hard enough to leave marks.

"Hi," I breathe out, resting my hands on his neck.

His eyes drag up the length of my body before they meet mine. "Hi," he replies, voice breathy.

I then lean in, lips catching onto his. One arm slides around my back, pulling our chests together as his lips move across mine carefully and meticulously, like he's waiting for me to push us over the edge, so I take the control, teetering us on the edge of true insanity.

Anyone could walk outside. Anyone could see us in an awfully compromising position but I guess that just fuels the fire, pushing me to keep going, to keep moving my mouth and body against his, wanting to hear any kind of noise he'll offer me.

A groan climbs up and pushes out of his throat but I capture it, locking it away. A smile captivates my lips, and JJ captures that smile, locking it away for himself. I try to kiss him as deeply as he kissed me earlier, but it's difficult to match his punishing pace. My tongue moves against his as the kisses turn chaotic and calculated, rapid and regardful.

JJ's palm presses into my hip, eliciting a gentle sigh from me as my body jerks forward, crashing into his. My thighs squeeze, pressing into his tightly to keep myself grounded. Something of a groan breaks out from his mouth, his teeth catching onto my bottom lip in retaliation which brings me a fusion of pleasure and pain.

I kiss him like I'm starving, and in a way, I think I am. Right now, his mouth, and his body, and his heart are keeping me alive, steadying me as I press myself down without thinking. His mouth comes off mine, teeth chewing down on his bottom lip as he suppresses a groan.

I inhale a sharp breath. "Are you okay?"

He nods, dragging his tongue across his teeth as he meets my gaze. "Yeah," he exhales. "I'm good." Before I have the chance to question him again, he presses his mouth against mine quickly.

My hands fist his shirt, wishing so badly that I could just pull it off, but I don't want to rush this── whatever this is. His hands travel upwards, moving from my back. One hand rests on the back of my neck while the other tugs on my ponytail, his hand twisting around the hair. My back arches, body pressing into him, and his teeth bite into my bottom lip once again as he moans.

He pulls back from my lips, breathing heavily as he pushes his head to one side, choosing to reattach his lips onto the side of my neck. My mouth falls open, fingers gripping tightly at his shirt. Something of a whimper slips past my lips as JJ traces a line of open-mouthed kisses from my ear to my collarbone. I then feel his teeth nip at my neck, biting the skin, and I expect to feel this unnerving pain but he soothes the bite quickly with his tongue. He then tugs a little tighter on my hair, pulling my head back further.

I press myself down, seeking that noise he offered me earlier, and when a guttural noise climbs up his throat, I can't fight the satisfied grin from forming on my lips. "Sunny." His voice is hoarse, and it sends all kind of electric pulses down my skin until I feel warmth all over my body.

I press my forehead to his, voice teasing as I say, "You okay, Maybank?"

He shakes his head, scoffing. "You little..."

He manoeuvres us in light speed, pushing me off his lap and down onto the wooden deck. It's not comfortable, not in any kind of way, but I really couldn't care less, especially when he moves to rest upon me. He keeps himself up with his arms, just staring down at my face as he cages me in.

I stare back, keeping his intense gaze. My lips press together, holding in the moan I'm sure will fall out when I toy with him, lifting my hips up to meet his which brings out a whole new noise from him, exciting me from the inside out.

"You know, anyone could just walk out here."

I peer up, seeing the outline of the Chateau from this distance, but no lights are on, and I don't see anybody else. I look back to JJ, shrugging my shoulders. "And?"

He huffs out a laugh, the tips of his fingers moving along my jaw. "Brooklyn Routledge." He tuts, a laugh bubbling out of him as his fingertips press onto the pulse hammering in my neck. "What the hell are you doing to me?" He asks that more to himself than me, but it brings a warmth to my face that brings a satisfied smile to his lips. "There she is."

"There who is?"

His fingertips slide across my cheek, accentuating the colour on my face. "The colour red."

"You made me red," I say, voice timid.

"Yes, I did. I plan to do it some more."

On that note, his mouth reattaches to mine, and our teeth clash in raw desperation. All that control I tried to have? Yeah, it's entirely gone now, and I don't care. He can take whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He's always had the upper hand over me, effectively making me weak with every touch, bite, and moan.

My hands grip his shirt, pulling him flush against me until he's laying entirely on me. My hands move down on their own accord, and as his mouth devours mine with ease, I grip the hem of his shirt, signalling something very obvious to him.

He tugs back, peering down at where my hands are. "Brooke..."

"I-I just want to..."

"You can do whatever you want, Brooke." He places one hand over mine, eyes meeting mine before he nods slowly. "Are you sure?"

"We don't have to do anything. I just want..."

"Me shirtless, I get it." I roll my eyes, tugging at the hem harder. "You know, Brooke, we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time."

"That's a song, JJ."

His eyebrows furrow. "What's a song?"

"Would you just shut up," I beg, lifting my hands and dragging his shirt upwards.

"I feel like you're using me, Brooklyn." I stare at him, watching as his lips form the largest smile of the night. "I'm kidding. I like you using me. Go ahead, Sunny. Take it off."

Heat pools in the bottom of my stomach as I follow through, pulling his shirt up and over his head before I disregard it. I've send him shirtless countless of times, but because I was the one to take off his shirt, there's now this pulsating intimacy between us as I take my eyes off him, letting my hand drag down his chest.

My hand presses against the steady beating of his heart. "It's beating," I say.

"Well, good. Otherwise I'd be dead."

I roll my eyes, knowing that he'd be dead if it wasn't beating, but I just like to hear the gentle thumping of his heart for my own for my own pleasure. "It's beating very fast."

"Well there's a pretty girl under me," he replies. My hand touches my collarbone, my hips lifting up again, brushing his. "Fuck, Brooke."

JJ leans down, his hands sliding under my back, to pull me flush against him. He places one hand upon my rib cage, pulling at my shirt. A moan ripples out of me as I grip his shoulders, clinging onto him. His fingers then slide up my shirt, pulling along my bare skin and dragging to rest under my bikini top.

JJ drags his mouth down from my lips, moving them along my neck once again. His hand that rests under my shirt shifts up carefully, fingers pressing into a sensitive of my being. I push into him, moan rippling out as JJ nips at the skin of my neck. "JJ," I gasp, a feeling his lips move across my neck, kissing the pulse point at the side of her neck that thumps rapidly.

JJ's hands move, his lips detach from mine, and he rests his fingers on the hem of my shirt. "Can I, uh..." I look to him, lips turning upwards as he looks visibly nervous.

"Finish your sentence, JJ."

"Can I take this off?"

"Yes." I nod firmly. "Yes, you can."

He tugs my shirt off easily, throwing it to one side before his mouth clamps around mine once again. He presses his hips down, swivelling them in a way that has my body igniting and screaming out. My mouth falls agape, a raspy breath slipping past my lips as he pushes his hips down again, a grunt slipping out of his mouth.

My fingernails press into his shoulders while my head falls forward against his chest. He presses his forehead against mine, pressing his hips down once again which ignites a spark at the base of my spine, shooting upwards and warming my entire body in a way I didn't know possible.

Sure, this isn't a comfortable place to lay, but I don't care. I want him wherever and whenever. Fingers press into his hair, arms wrapping around his neck while he leans in to press his lips on mine.

Using the little strength I have, I deepen the kiss. A whimper climbs out of my throat which he catches. I release his hair, head falling back as a noise creeps up my throat, releasing into the air. JJ's mouth takes another journey, sliding from my mouth, and across her jaw before travelling along the skin of my neck once again.

Giving him a taste of his own medicine, I press my hips up and into his, watching as he groans into my neck. "Fuck." I grin, sliding my hand back into his hair as his lips move down, down, down. They've only ever touched my neck, and now they're shifting down my chest, licking and biting and kissing at every inch of available skin.

It isn't until his lips press over the material of my bikini top that I realise the severity of this── of us, of what we're doing right now to one another. My legs lift on their own, circling his torso as he drives himself forward, teeth digging into my bottom lip. The pressure of his mouth joint with the pressure of his hips has my head going fuzzy, and has warmth climbing up.

His mouth covers the beating of my heart, his lower half pressing into mine again. I can feel every single part of him against me, and as the seconds tick by, I feel more pressure build at the base of my spine, shooting sparks and zings up my arms and legs.

"JJ, I..."

JJ lifts his head, resting our foreheads together. "I know." We breathe heavily, chests heaving as he continues to press his pelvic bone into mine, bringing an intense and guttural noise out of me. "I know, Sunshine. I know."

I bite down on my lip, never feeling any kind of pleasure like this. "JJ, I don't..." I have no idea what's happening, and if he keeps pressing into me like he is, I fear some part of me from deep within will explode.

"Let go, Sunshine. Let go for me."

I inhale sharply, fingers digging into his shoulders as he pushes into me one final time. My body flies into him, the loudest moan falling from my mouth. Stars dot my vision as I squeeze my eyes shut, my entire body tensing and seizing under his hands.

JJ's head falls forward, hitting my shoulder as he breathes heavily into my skin. He groans, his body dropping entirely. "Brooke, you..."

"I-I don't know what just happened."

He lifts his head, forehead resting on mine once again. "I told you we didn't have to take our clothes off to have a good time."

A laugh bubbles out of me, my hand hitting his shoulder gently. "Shut up."

"You gonna paint the final quarter?"

I nod, eyes fluttering to a close. "I'm gonna paint the entire page for you," I breathe out.

"Yellow?"

"And red," I exhale, pushing my mouth to his briefly.

Yellow and red, brown and blue── they're our colours.

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❀ soph speaks

first attempt at rewriting semi-decent mature content . . . hmmmmm

i truly did love writing this chapter <3

i hope it made sense?? i have no idea what's happening to say after writing nearly 8000 words of, you know . . .

anyway, thankyou for reading!!