𝟎𝟐𝟗.                      𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐦

if we have each other ──── alec benjamin

☀︎ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐥𝐲𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖰𝖴𝖤𝖲𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭 𝖮𝖥，"𝖶𝖨𝖫𝖫 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖡𝖤 𝖦𝖮𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖶𝖨𝖳𝖧 𝖩𝖮𝖧𝖭 𝖡" 𝖨𝖲 𝖠𝖲𝖪𝖤𝖣 𝖳𝖮 𝖬𝖤 𝖳𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖬𝖮𝖱𝖭𝖨𝖭𝖦．I wasn't expecting it, not from JJ of all people who had literally kissed me senseless just a couple of hours ago. I'm pretty sure my mouth is bruised from the force at which we kissed.

Anyway, the question was asked, and I had no idea how to answer. Yes, I should go with John B because he's my brother and I know he'd follow me if the situation was reversed. However, part of me doesn't want to go because of this── because of this thing that may be happening between me and JJ. I know that sounds ridiculous to stay for a boy, but JJ isn't just any boy to me.

He's everything to me, as sickeningly loving that is.

So when asked, "Will I be going with John B?" I don't know how to answer, so I only uttered the words, "I don't know".

Now I'm sitting, contemplating everything. Firstly, I need to decide how best to approach what happened last night with JJ. From what I can tell, our friendship isn't ruined just like he said it wouldn't be. Secondly, I need to decide if i want to go with John B or stay right here, stuck in a place that unfairly drove him out.

Somebody else decide for me.

Currently, the tension in the air is thick, and it's because of whatever is going on── or not going on── between Kiara and Pope.

In simple terms, Pope's heart is broken.

I love Pope, I really do, and I know he loves Kiara, but from what I can see, Kiara doesn't feel the same way, not in any way, and I can't figure out why she can't like him. I mean, all she told me was that she wanted something different. What is different? I still don't know.

Anyway, maybe one day Kiara will tell me what different means to her. Until then, I'll just add to my list of things I need to figure out, right under my decision about whether or not I should go with John B.

I mean, he's my brother. I have to go. Also, I won't be safe on this island if he's gone and I'm stuck, trying to convince the cops that he didn't commit this crime. I'll be taken away by DCS or── worst case scenario── stuck with the Cameron's who drove my brother away and killed Peterkin because they're technically my legal guardians.

I'm in a lose-lose situation.

"He's pinched for sure, man."

I'm brought back to where I am right now── The Wreck with Pope, Kiara and JJ after a restless sleep. I couldn't sleep, not after the life-altering kiss JJ and I shared. I just kept staring at the wall, letting the minutes tick by as I replayed that moment over and over and over again. I can still feel his hands on my hips, his fingers at my neck, and his hips against mine. I can still feel myself pressed against that wall, clinging to him as he──

"No." Pope's voice brings me out of my head which is probably for the best. "They wouldn't still be patrolling if they caught him."

"Let's hope," I utter, somewhat relieved that I can hear sirens outside, indicating that John B hasn't been caught. I don't know how he's stayed away, but he's doing a damn good job.

Not long now before he'll be travelling along the waters... alone.

No, he won't be alone. I can be there.

Can I?

"You know, we were in that car. They're probably looking for us, too." Kiara's head falls forward, her fingers rubbing at her temples. She looks just as tired as the rest of us.

I know the cops are likely looking for us, more so me just because I'm related to the supposed murderer.

"Well, if we're gonna be outlaws, we might as well help John B," Pope says, stepping away from the window.

"So, find him before they do?" Pope moves away, grabbing the keys from his jacket pocket as he begins to walk off. Our eyes trail after him, watching as he walks off. "Pope?"

"I'm gonna get gas for the boat."

"Hey, be careful," Kiara says, keeping her voice as polite as possible, but the look Pope shoots her way argues against that point. He looks angry and exhausted, and I've never seen Pope look at somebody like that.

He shifts his gaze to me and JJ. "Meet me at the dock at three. Don't be late." He completely ignores Kiara, and he makes it blatantly obvious that he is not talking to her. Ah, how mature.

"Yes, boss," I deadpan, waving at him.

Pope storms off, shoving open the door. Kiara pulls herself off her chair, moving to rush after him so she can figure out what is wrong with him. The answer to that is pretty obvious── it's her.

JJ and I reluctantly step out of The Wreck, moving to see Kiara and Pope. "Okay, what is your problem?" Kiara yells, rushing down the steps to join Pope as he moves to the motorcycle.

"No problem, Officer. I'm just doing my job." Pope lifts himself up and onto the motorcycle.

"Look, I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings."

He revs the engine, blocking out Kiara's voice. "What was that?" I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest as I stare at this mess that's been created.

"Aren't you glad that's not us?" JJ whispers, fingers brushing along my back softly.

I'm really glad that's not us.

"Look, I didn't mean to," Kiara yells, trying to speak over the sound of him revving the engine.

"Sorry, I can't hear you. What was that?"

"Oh, for the love──" I move away, leaving JJ on the steps as I rush to join my best friend in defending herself against Pope. As I've said before, I adore Pope, but he's acting a little immature right now, and we so don't have time for it, not with my brother currently on the run.

I join Kiara's side. "Hey, stop!" I yell, hitting my hand against his arm gently. "She's trying to apologise, Pope. Just hear her out."

"What?" Oh, this bastard.

"Pope, I'm being serious──" Her voice was cut off once again. "I'm trying to talk to you!"

Pope doesn't listen to her, he just drives off.

I place my hand on Kiara's shoulder. She keeps shaking her head, staring off into the distance at where Pope just disappeared from. I peer over my shoulder at JJ, offering him a smile as Kiara's head falls into the crook of my shoulder. She's upset and exhausted, I feel sorry for her, so I let her lean on my shoulder.

I let her lean on my shoulder until something snatches our attention── a helicopter.

A helicopter flies over our heads, moving to the field nearby. "Who the hell is that?"

Is that seriously for one person── for my brother?

──────────────────────────

𝖨𝖥 𝖶𝖤 𝖶𝖠𝖭𝖳 𝖳𝖮 𝖦𝖤𝖳 𝖩𝖮𝖧𝖭 𝖡 𝖮𝖥𝖥 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖨𝖲𝖫𝖠𝖭𝖣，𝖶𝖤 𝖭𝖤𝖤𝖣 𝖳𝖮 𝖦𝖤𝖳 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖪𝖤𝖸𝖲 𝖥𝖮𝖱 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖯𝖧𝖠𝖭𝖳𝖮𝖬．Annoyingly, these damn keys for the boat are at JJ's house where his freaking father is. Kiara is driving, and I'm sat in the backseat, watching JJ with a cautious eye. I can't tell what he's thinking, not right now, but I don't imagine he'll be too excited to go home.

I'm not excited for him to step into that house, not alone anyway. I am going in there with him whether he wants me to or not.

Kiara pulls up to his house. "Home sweet home," JJ says softly, peering out the window. He sighs, flicking his lighter to a close. JJ pushes open the door. "This will only take a second," he assures just as I move to get out of the back.

"I'm coming with you."

"Brooke──"

"I'm coming with you," I repeat, voice assertive.

JJ doesn't argue, not this time, and he instead lets me get out of the car, uttering to Kiara that we won't be long. He knows better than to fight with me on this. I won't let his father hurt him, not again, not after the last time. If he lays any kind of threatening hand on him, I will kick his ass.

Well, I'll try and kick his ass.

Anyway, JJ isn't going in there alone. I can't just sit in the car and wait so I'm out of the car in a heartbeat. I walk ahead of him, moving towards the house first as JJ shuts the car door, waving a goodbye to Kiara.

Just as I reach the front door, my hand on the handle, JJ's hand grasps my elbow, pulling me back gently. He doesn't say anything, just moves me to one side as he steps forward instead, wanting to be the first one in the house. I don't protest. Instead I follow awfully close behind him just in case his father lunges out of a dark corner and swings.

Silently, we step into the house and I close the door behind me carefully. I kick a couple of empty beer cans at my feet as I take a single step forward. My eyes skim over the kitchen, noticing that the plates are stacked high and unwashed. I find empty pill bottles to be on the countertops, sitting next to mouldy food and garbage.

I always thought the Chateau was a mess but this is unlike anything I've ever seen before.

It's heartbreaking, in an odd way.

"Dad?" JJ calls out, continuing to move ahead of me with his arm outstretched.

I delicately place my hand upon his arm, trying to keep him relaxed as he manoeuvres us into the living room. "Dad?" Luke doesn't reply, but we do see him stretched out on the sofa, completely passed out.

JJ tenses, so instinctively, I push my hand into his. He inhales and exhales a few times, breathing carefully through his nose before he steps forward towards his dad. "Dad, I need the keys to the Phantom," he says, now coming to stand in front of Luke with his hand wrapped around mine. Luke doesn't reply again. "Dad?"

JJ looks away from his dad, eyes moving to the coffee table where he finds an orange bottle of pills. He shakes the bottle, a hard expression on his face. "Great," he utters, peering back to his father with emotion swelling in his eyes.

I step closer to him, pressing my face into his shoulder as he stands and stares at his father. Just as I lift my head, eyes peering up at him, JJ moves forward, slipping his hand out of mine which I silently protest.

He bends down, retrieving a pen from the table. "What are you doing?" I ask, keeping my voice low as I really don't want to wake his father. He stands, silently pointing at his father. My eyes shift, looking to a sleeping Luke. I follow JJ's finger, finding him to be pointing at the key that sits around Luke's neck.

The key to the Phantom.

I nod to JJ as he leans forward, holding out the pen to try and navigate the chain that holds the key off his father's neck. The pen touches the chain around his neck, and that's when Luke Maybank starts to stir awake.

JJ freezes, pen against the key just as his father's eyes blink open to find him standing there. "I didn't expect to see you." His voice is groggy, like he's been asleep for years. I grasp JJ's arm, pulling him back and away from his father just as Luke regains consciousness. "You're back."

"Yeah, no, I just──" JJ clears his throat. "Just checkin' in." Luke moves, reaching forward to snatch a beer bottle. How can he wake up and want a freaking drink?

Luke looks to me. I stand next to JJ, hand against his arm to keep him close to me. I stare back at him, not wanting him to sense the fear that I feel when being this close to him. "This your girlfriend?" Luke asks, eyes glossing over me.

JJ gazes at me. "Uh..." For eight years, all I've ever thought about is being his girlfriend. All I've ever thought about is him saying that word in relation to me, but today is not that day because what are we? We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. We haven't established a label. We're just best friends who kissed each other until we were numb, so I can't expect him to call me his girlfriend. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend.

Damn Luke Maybank and his stupid question, I'm all freaked now.

"This is Brooke," JJ mutters, looking away from me. Part of me wants to say, "We've met before", but I know he doesn't remember ever meeting me, and he likely won't remember this interaction either.

"Nice to meet ya." His face forms something of a smile, and that disturbs me on a whole other level. I nod back, holding my tongue before I say something unbelievably cruel. From what I can see, JJ just wants to get out of here, and if he has to endure in a conversation with his father, he'll do it just to get out of here.

"School out already?" Luke asks, obviously not knowing that it's the middle of the damn summer.

JJ snaps his head to his dad. "What?"

"Did you two ditch? It's alright. You can tell me."

JJ plays along, nodding his head. "Yeah." He swallows the obvious emotion in his throat. "We hit the break, you know."

Luke starts to laugh. I didn't think he was capable of doing such a thing. "I hated school too," he utters, smiling widely at his son. "My boy!" The corner of JJ's mouth tugs into a smile── a broken smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Hey you know what..." Luke lifts himself up on wobbly legs, his hand reaching out to grasp JJ's shoulder. I cling onto JJ's arm harder, keeping him right next to me as his father stares at him. "Hey, look, I know I'm hard on you sometimes. But sometimes, I see── I see your mother in you, and it gets me a little tweaked, you know?"

I stare at him, continuing to bite my tongue because I really want to swing at him for a comment like that.

I don't know JJ's mother. Hell, JJ doesn't know his own mother, but Luke knew her well enough to know that JJ is like her── so much so that it actually makes Luke so angry to a point where he hits his own son.

I don't know if JJ's mother is alive, but if she is, I question how she could've left her child with somebody like him. Although, it does make me wonder if Luke was ever a good father, perhaps when JJ was young. If he was a good father, maybe leaving JJ with him wasn't the worst decision. However, Luke has now become this, and I'd like to think that JJ's mother would be massively disappointed if she could see Luke in this state. Part of me does blame her though, and I don't even know her.

I wonder how different JJ's life would be if he had a mother── if he had a better family than the one he's got right now.

JJ just nods at his father, acting like he understands him and his excuse for hurting him. "You're a good boy." Luke nods, fingers digging into his son's shoulder.

"I love you, son." Luke steps closer to his son, sliding his arm across his shoulder as he begins to pull him close. "Come here. I love you." Luke embraces his son, wrapping his arms around him. I keep my hand on JJ's arm, staring at the moment they share── standing and holding one another like all is okay. "I love you, son." His voice starts to fade away. "I love you."

JJ swallows, lifting his arms to wrap around his dad. "Love you too, Dad." I can hear the emotion in JJ's voice, and it makes my heart squeeze painfully. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

He's sorry? Sorry for what?

"Ain't got nothin' to be sorry for." Luke begins to slump against JJ, his body falling back. "You're a good boy," is the final thing he says to his son before JJ drops his father down to the sofa, a single tear trickling down his cheek.

JJ looks at his father one last time just as he loses consciousness. He then steps forward to yank the chain holding the key off his neck. Once he has the key in his grasp, he steps away, barging past me which I don't appreciate.

I follow after him, quickening my pace to reach him so I can grasp his hand and stop him from storming out of this house. "Hey." He comes to a stop, hand holding mine. "Are you okay?"

I move to stand in front of him, keeping my hand around his. He peers down at me, emotion still very much in his eyes. "Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

He nods, hand moving out of mine to hold onto my wrist. His fingers drag across the pulse point of my wrist, toying with the bracelet that rests there── the bracelet that he made me six years ago. My eyes fall, admiring the bracelet I made him six years ago that still sits on his wrist.

"I'm fine, Sunshine."

My eyes lift, meeting his. "Really?"

"How can I not be?" His hand moves, now settling against my jaw. "Thanks for being here, Sunny, but I really am fine."

I nod, believing him. "Okay."

"We should go. Kiara's waiting," he says, but he doesn't make any attempt to move. He just holds my face in his hand, his palm pressing under my chin. I don't make any attempt to move, I just stay, staring up at him with soft eyes.

I clear my throat. "Are you going to move?"

"Are you?" he challenges, a grin touching his lips.

"I don't want to." I want to stay right here── not in the house, but in JJ's arms.

"But we need to."

"Yes." Kiara is waiting, and if we take any longer, she might come in and check on us.

"So..." His hand slides down, moving down the side of my neck while his eyes hold mine.

"We should..." I speak, voice breathy.

"Go..." he adds on, but once again, we make no attempt to move. We just stare at one another, silently begging the other to do something. I step a little closer, stepping into his bubble, and he lets me move just that inch closer.

My chest presses against his, our hands slide into intertwine, and JJ leans in first. His head ducks, and with a broadening smile, he kisses me, and because I see it coming, I respond to the pressure of his lips enthusiastically. The world around us ceases to exist, and I forget that we're in Luke's house. I forgot all about that, and I just focus on the boy before me.

The kiss is short and very similar to that kiss we first shared. My hand that isn't holding his presses on his chest, fingertips digging into his shirt as his mouth glides over mine. The kiss is soft yet addictive, and if I could, I'd keep on kissing him but we've got responsibilities.

We've got to help John B.

JJ pulls back, sucking in a sharp breath as he presses his forehead to mine. "W-We should talk about what happened," he says, his voice soft.

I nod, my eyes still closed. "Yeah, we should."

"No regrets though, right?"

A smile captivates my mouth. "No regrets."

I have and will never have regrets about what happened between us. In fact, I wish for it to happen again and again and again until I fall. Kissing him just now felt so natural and so right. It felt like we should have been kissing all along.

We've missed years of this part of us, but we can make up for it for the rest of our lives.

Starting right now.

"Now we should actually go."

Yes, we should even though I really don't want to.

──────────────────────────

𝖶𝖤 𝖤𝖭𝖳𝖤𝖱 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖶𝖠𝖱𝖤𝖧𝖮𝖴𝖲𝖤 𝖳𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖧𝖮𝖫𝖣𝖲 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖦𝖫𝖮𝖱𝖨𝖮𝖴𝖲 𝖯𝖧𝖠𝖭𝖳𝖮𝖬．The moment JJ pulls the tarp off the boat, he stares with wide eyes and a big smile. "There she be." He chuckles, running his hand along the stern. "Hey, girl. A nineteen-eighty-three Formula four-o-two SR-one," he rambles, but none of that makes sense to me. "The Phantom."

"Cool," I say, nodding along like I understand the love he has for this boat.

"The first boat to make the run to Bermuda in under sixteen hours," he says, voice full enthusiasm. He doesn't talk about me in the same way he talks about this damn boat. Should I be jealous? "Forty years old! Forty!" His voice is full of excitement. "And still the fastest thing that Kildare's ever seen."

"It's kind of a junker," Kiara says, earning a glare from JJ.

"Really? She's right there, Kie." I breathe out a laugh, eyes shifting from JJ to the Phantom. "She can hear you. Let's just put it this way. You would not be smokin' weed right now if she never existed, okay?"

"I just hope it runs," I say, placing a hand on the boat.

"Oh, no, she'll run, alright. She's faster than any cutters the boys in blue got." JJ moves and begins to detach the boat from its hinge just as the revving of a motorcycle steals our attention.

Oh, good. Pope is here. "Pope. Finally." Kiara steps away from me and JJ, moving to peer outside. However, she begins to take two steps back the moment she finds the motorcycle not to have Pope on it. No, instead Barry── who we stole from── and Rafe── who I pointed a gun at── come marching around the corner.

Oh, how we're screwed.

"Hey, there. What's goin' on?" Kiara falls back, coming to stand next to me as JJ steps away from the boat, turning to Rafe and Barry who seem to be here on a mission. "JJ."

"Whoo-hoo!" Barry and Rafe walk together, splitting apart for a second so Rafe can pull himself up and onto our boat. Barry whistles, stepping towards us. "Well, well."

A gun cocks and lifts in Barry's hand. It points directly at JJ who doesn't do anything rash in response. No, he just holds his hands up. I stand and stare at Barry until he finds that I am not making any attempt to lift my hands up. "Hands up, princess." The gun is shifted in my direction.

Never has a word sounded so awful to me.

JJ sidesteps, half his body shielding mine as I raise my hands slowly. The gun moves, now much closer to JJ than before. He starts to laugh, his head shaking. "See, don't think I forgot about me and you at the side of the road. I'm here because I want my motherfuckin' money."

Well, it's going to be a little hard to give him back his motherfuckin' money as it's now in the form of a hot tub.

Barry steps closer so he can lift his hand to grab a fistful of JJ's hair. My hands fall, grasping JJ's arm as Barry tilts the gun in the direction of his head. "Get the hell off him," I spit, tugging on his arm as I attempt to get the upper hand and step forward to defend JJ.

Before I get the chance to do a single thing, I feel something── or should I say, somebody── tug on my ponytail. I'm yanked back, my body falling against whoever is behind me, and I'm pushed up against the side of the boat.

"Brooke!" JJ yells just as Barry lunges at him.

My back hits the boat, and my eyes lift to find Rafe staring down at me with a dark expression. "Where's your brother?" he asks.

"Brooke!" Kiara yells, moving to try and assist but she gets caught in the Barry-JJ crossfire. JJ is hitting at him while Barry attempts to hit back, and I am staring up at Rafe, keeping as calm of an expression as possible.

Rafe steps into my bubble, and he repeats his question, "Where is John B?"

"I have no idea where he is," I answer, and that is the truth. I really don't know where my brother is right now.

"Yeah, right. Where is he, Brooke?"

"I don't know!" I yell, growing frustrated with how close he is to me right now.

"Where──" I don't let him finish his sentence, I just raise my hand and slap him around the face as hard as I can.

He scoffs, a sick grin on his lips as he turns his head back to me. "I really wish you didn't do that," he utters, voice dropping low.

"I know what you did," I say slowly, voice annoyingly trembling.

"What?" He chuckles. "What did I do, Brooklyn?"

"You murdered Peterkin," I choke out, staring up at him with narrowed eyes.

JJ is on the floor, fighting with Barry while Kiara attempts to yank him back. Rafe and I are staring at each other, and it seems I've hit a nerve with Rafe based on how he reacts. "Don't you ever say those fucking words again."

It happens quickly, but one moment I'm standing my ground and keeping cool, and the next moment I'm struggling to breathe from the impact of Rafe's hand around my neck. I don't manage to suck in a breath in time, and now my airway is trapped as Rafe squeezes my throat in his hand, pressing my head back against the boat.

He stares down at me as I struggle, my chest painful as I attempt to suck in enough air into my lungs. I feel sick to my stomach.

I lift my hand, nails digging into Rafe's arm as I attempt to stop him. I need him to get his damn hands off me. Fuck him. Rafe continues to press his hand into my throat, doing everything possible to stop my breathing. He's going to kill me. He's going to ki──

"Don't touch her!" Pope's voice enters my ears just as Rafe falls down in front of me after Pope had just hit a metal pole to the back of his knees. I suck in a strong breath, clutching my own chest as I attempt to bring all the air back to my lungs.

I stare forward, watching as Pope whacks the metal rod against Rafe a couple times, keeping him on the ground. I force myself forward, watching as JJ gets the upper hand. He gets a grip on Barry, pushes him down to the ground and kicks him once, twice, thrice until the gun falls out of his hand.

"Kick it!"

Kiara kicks the gun away and underneath the boat so it was far enough away. JJ continues to kick his foot into Barry, keeping him on the ground alongside Rafe before he pulls him up and off the ground by his collar.

He slams him into the boat, punching him once before he pushes him back down to the ground. Barry begins to cough and splutter so my eyes fall back into Pope who is caving Rafe's face in with his fist, hitting him as many times as he can muster.

"Pope." My voice sounds hoarse── it sounds foreign to me. I think I'm still trying to steady my breathing. "Come on, Pope. Stop."

"He's had enough, dude." JJ moves to stand next to me, his hand pressing against my back as I lean forward, hands on my knees to steady my breathing. I keep my eyes on Pope, watching as he doesn't stop. He doesn't listen to us. He moves away for a second, snatching ahold of a rubber tube which he wraps around Rafe's neck, suffocating him in the same way he suffocated me.

"Snap out of it, dude!"

He really, really needs to stop before we have an actual murderer in our crew.

"Pope!" I yell, sucking in a sharp breath. "Pope, that's too much!"

As much as I hate Rafe, watching him struggle and squirm as he bleeds isn't an easy sight for one to see.

"Dude, come on!" Keeping a hand on my back, he shuffles forward to try and grab Pope. "Stop, dude!" Pope shoves JJ's arm away, continuing to squeeze the rubber tube around Rafe's neck.

"Look at me!" Kiara screams as the blood trickles out of Rafe's mouth as he chokes and splutters. Before I thought Rafe was going to kill me, but now it seems Pope is going to kill him. "Look at me!" Kiara repeats, her voice still loud.

When Pope hears her say it again, he frees Rafe, his breathing heavy as he stares over at Kiara. "It's okay," I say to Pope, stepping forward to rest my hand on his arm. I sigh, watching as Rafe coughs up blood, his body pressed against the ground. "Okay, we gotta go."

We needed to have gone ages ago, but whatever.

Pope crouches down to Rafe's level, "Stay off the cut," he breathes out.

──────────────────────────

❀ soph speaks

hey hey hey,, sorry it took a while for me to actually update i've been crazy busy with stupid uni

if i drop out, i may be happier but ugh i've already spent money on my silly education

updates will be slower as i have a lot of assignments due in,
november for students is like hell . . . i hate life

anyway, i went to see wicked tonight, it was a 10/10, absolutely incredible :')