𝟎𝟎𝟔.                                        𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝

the lighthouse ──── stevie nicks

☀︎ 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐥𝐲𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

𝖱𝖤𝖣𝖥𝖨𝖤𝖫𝖣 𝖫𝖨𝖦𝖧𝖳𝖧𝖮𝖴𝖲𝖤．

I love the lighthouse. Sure, over the years, it's decayed and become a piece of shit, but it's still one of my favourite places on the island.

Every year, on mine and John B's birthday, we come to the lighthouse. Dad was always with us, and the three of us would sit and watch the stars. We'd usually stay there until the sun came up, and I'd get to watch the beautiful sun shine in the morning. We were the only ones that were ever up there a lot, mainly because nobody ever really visited the lighthouse as it got older because it was slowly dying. It wasn't exactly safe.

I recall a memory from when I was fourteen. JJ and I had ditched school, and we had come to the lighthouse. We just sat up there, talking and watching the sky change from light to dark.

I look to JJ now, smiling at that small reminder that, once upon a time, all was good and normal. JJ turns, eyes finding mine, and he smiles back. That calms me── puts my thoughts at ease.

John B is driving us to the lighthouse, talking a mile-a-minute about what this compass and message could mean. I'm only half listening, my eyes entirely fixated on the boy that sits alongside me, his presence comforting.

"I mean, it's obvious, right? A family heirloom." It feels so surreal to have a family heirloom, and it's even stranger that the family heirloom is a compass. "What better place to hide a message? He had to know that it was gonna get back to me and Brooklyn, right?"

"Yeah. It's possible."

"It could also be possible that you are concocting wild theories to help..." I peer over at Pope, eyebrow raised. I love him, I do, but there are times where he should just not say anything. "you know, deal with your sad feels."

Pope peers over at me, sees that I'm glaring back at him, and clamps his mouth shut, bowing his head.

"Bro, you know how I process my sad feels," JJ speaks, and I already know what he's going to say, "Dank nugs and the stickiest of ickies, that's how I do it."

"I am not concocting, okay?" John B argues, ignoring JJ's comment about how he processes. "Our dad's trying to give us a message."

I'd like to believe that my dad is leaving us a message. I'd like to believe that he wants us to know about where he is, about what he's doing, but I'm afraid that this is just all a coincidence── that we're just jumping to conclusions.

I want him to still be alive, but as the days drone on, my faith is slowly dying.

"If it helps you believe..."

"He── we don't need a therapy session, okay?" I speak, shaking my head because every time the subject of our father comes up, everybody looks at us sympathetically, like he's dead and we're just in denial. "Look, we are not tripping out."

"It's okay to trip, but──"

"Look, o-our dad is missing, okay?" John B interrupts, and everyone shuts up. "Missing. You have no idea how it feels to have the person closest to you vanish and then have no idea what happened. Just wake up every morning wondering."

Nobody will ever know how this feels── how I wake up every night, wondering if he'll walk through the door. Nobody knows that I sit and wait for a phone call or a letter, letting us know that he's okay. It's been nine months, I know, but I will continue to hold hope. I need to have hope that he'll return.

"It's been almost a year."

And some still return home after being away for that long. I just need Dad to be one of those people that come home after that long.

"Hey, he could have been kidnapped," JJ suggests, but that is a little too far fetched to be even possible. "That's definitely a possibility."

"Yeah, could be in a Soviet sub getting interrogated by the KGB somewhere," Pope adds.

"Absolutely. Uh... or Atlantis."

Kiara shakes her head, directing her next question to me and John B. "Look, what do you guys think the message is?"

"Redfield. Redfield Lighthouse," we both say, and John B adds, "That's our dad's favourite place."

We arrive at the lighthouse, step outside the van, and I smile up at the lighthouse I'm very familiar with. This is my dad's favourites place, and in turn, it's mine and John B's favourite place. We've spent many nights here, sitting under the moonlight with blankets around us, listening to the water and wind. I love this place, I always will. I just wish Dad could be here with us, and I wish the three of us could be up in that lighthouse again, acting normal.

John B turns to JJ, clasping his hands together. "Right. You're gonna post up and looked out for bogeys, okay?"

"Wait..." JJ looks around the group. "Why me?"

"Because you're not coming," Pope tells him.

"Why?"

"There are independent and dependent variables," Pope explains, and JJ groans, shaking his head. "You're independent. We don't know what you'll do."

"Shut up."

"Listen to me for a second." John B places his hands on JJ's shoulders, and he looks to me and Pope. "Pope. Brooke. You two stand look out with JJ. Okay?" I nod, not too fussed about what position I need to be in. "If we split up, we meet back at JJ's house."

"Great."

John B and Kiara turn away, walking off and leaving us── the final three── to be on lookout. I watch them disappear into the lighthouse, and once they're out of sight, I look to Pope and JJ. "I'm gonna work on my merit scholarship essay," Pope tells me, and I nod. "and I'm trying to keep felonies to a minimum."

"Well, what's the fun in that, Pope?"

Pope sits himself down in the grass, and I move to the Twinkie── our van── and I grab something for us to use while we wait. I find a ball tucked behind one of the seats, and I pull it out, throwing it over to JJ who catches it easily.

He throws it back to me, I catch it, and then I throw it back to him, a little higher this time, but he catches it with ease. We continue to throw it back and forth, seeing who can throw the ball the highest. He throws it much higher than me, but I still catch it without fault.

This scene that plays out is something I would draw. In fact, I might draw tonight. I might sketch out this exact image── JJ and I throwing a ball, laughing and messing with one another. When Pope joins in, I imagine drawing him into the picture, and now there's three of us, throwing and laughing with a ball like we're just three regular kids.

I throw it up high towards Pope, and then I run to one side and rush in front of JJ to catch the ball as Pope attempts to throw the ball to JJ. I catch it instead of JJ, and just as I'm about to escape with my victory, JJ's hands reach out to grasp my hips, pulling me back against him. "JJ!"

"Pope, get it." He laughs in my ear, and that sound truly is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I can't draw his laugh, but I wish I could record it right now and replay it over and over and over again. If I could draw his laugh, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Pope rushes forward, snatching the ball from me as JJ continues to hold me, keeping me still. I laugh loudly, squirming in his hold and eventually escaping as Pope keeps a tight grip on the ball.

I charge forward, about to take the ball from Pope when he chucks it towards JJ. "Pope!"

Pope laughs wholeheartedly, stepping away from me as I lunge for him. JJ throws the ball, it flies over my head, and Pope catches it easily, rushing away before I have the chance to steal it.

This is how I want all my days to be. I want all the days to be fun, wholesome and steady. I want days like this── days where friends are all you need, and just doing silly, simple things like this are the best ways to spend those days.

I love my guys. I love Pope and JJ. They're two of the greatest people I know.

Just as JJ catches the ball again, sirens sound, and we're all very familiar with that damn sound. The police are on their way, so we need to get the hell out of here. We're quick to rush back to the van with me climbing up front with JJ, and Pope in the back.

I hate to leave my brother, but the sirens are growing louder and we need to get out of here quickly before we get caught.

JJ sets off, speeding down the road to get away from the police, and it all feels sort of thrilling, I can't explain it.

──────────────────────────

𝖩𝖮𝖧𝖭 𝖡 𝖣𝖨𝖲𝖢𝖮𝖵𝖤𝖱𝖲 𝖲𝖮𝖬𝖤𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖱𝖳𝖫𝖸 𝖠𝖥𝖳𝖤𝖱 𝖧𝖤 𝖱𝖤𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖭𝖲 𝖳𝖮 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖳𝖤𝖠𝖴， 𝖠𝖭𝖣 𝖭𝖮𝖶 𝖧𝖤'𝖲 𝖯𝖨𝖢𝖪𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖴𝖲 𝖴𝖯． Our great-great grandmother's name was Olivia Redfield Routledge, so we think we know where we can go next, we just need to go and pick up Kiara who says she's not coming.

The second Pope steps out of The Wreck and tells us that Kiara isn't coming, I know John B has done something, but I don't have the chance to ask about it because I'm getting out of the van, insisting that I can convince her to get in the van.

I'll grill John B later, but right now I need to get Kiara in the van. I love the boys, but I'm afraid it just ain't the same without my girl, Kie.

I walk into The Wreck, and I find Kiara on the counter, holding a paintbrush in her hand. Kiara's dad, Mike, had to pick John B up from the police station after he and Kiara were caught, so I should thank him for bailing John B out, but right now I need to talk to Kiara. Something must've happened with her and John B or she'd be coming with us, wouldn't she?

"Hey." She peers over her shoulder, smiling at me. I smile back, moving to sit down on one of the many barstools.

"I told Pope I'm no──"

"Not coming?" I interrupt. "Yeah, I know, but why aren't you coming? What happened?"

She places the paintbrush into the tin of paint, and she turns to me, still perched on the counter. "John B didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

He sighs loudly. "He kissed me."

My eyes widen, and my mouth involuntarily drops. "He──" Well, I don't know what the heck to say to that. I knew John B liked Kiara, but the No Pogue-on-Pogue macking was his rule, and he just broke the damn thing. "He kissed you?"

"Yep." She doesn't sound too happy about it, and she still isn't coming with us, so I assume it didn't go well, but I wasn't about to ask about my brother's kissing ability.

"D-Did you, uh..." I feel so awkward, but what does one say about their best friend and their brother, especially if said best friend is somebody you may have the teeniest of crushes on.

"No, I didn't really kiss back," she tells me, answering my question before I even ask it. "I don't..." She gazes over at me, holding my eyes. "I don't like him like that."

"Oh." I nod, quietly liking that fact. "Really?"

She pulls herself off the counter. "Yep. He's great, but he's just not my type, I guess."

"Okay." I exhale, watching as she pulls the tin of paint off the counter. "So what is your type?" I ask daringly, but I'm not sure I want to know the answer.

A smile touches Kiara's lips. "Not John B."

"Ah, of course." I roll my eyes, looking away from her. "So your type is..."

"None of your business..." Kiara drawls, earning a glare from me.

I frown, resting my head against my hand. "Kie."

"Brooke," she mocks, using the same tone. "What do you want?"

"Come with us. Please." I stand up, moving to stand in front of her.

She shakes her head. "I-I don't want──"

"I need you," I interrupt, and Kiara's head stops shaking, her body now facing mine. I stare at her with wide, pleading eyes, hoping to God that she'll come with us. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I need her. Without her, I feel as if our group isn't... our group, if that makes any sense.

She places the tin of paint back on the counter, pulls her apron off and says, "Fine."

A smile breaks out across my face. "Have I told you just how much I love you?" I wrap my arm around hers, dragging her along. "You will not regret this, I promise."

"Yeah. Yeah, whatever."

We step outside The Wreck, and once the boys see that I've convinced her, I raise our hands up high, cheering a little too loudly. "Let's go!"

We're back on the road, the sun is setting, and we're driving to the location. We discovered that Redfield isn't a place, it's a person── specifically our great-great-grandmother, Olivia. We're driving to her burial sight where we hope to find something that links to our father's disappearance. It's a long shot, but we're hopeful.

I'm sitting in the back with Pope and JJ. I often find myself thrown into the back with these two while Kiara and John B sit up front. JJ has lit a cigarette, and he blows the smoke away from my face which I silently appreciate.

"You mind if I relax on this one? It's been a long day, and a lot of weird stuff's gone down." Smoke leaves his mouth, clouding in front of him. "I'm just gonna lay low," he breathes out, leaning back in his chair. Pope is staring at him, obviously not impressed, and JJ peers over at him, holding the cigarette out to him. "Oh, did you want a hit of this."

"I keep the signal clear," Pope replies.

"You did not answer the question," I quip, grinning at Pope who doesn't look very amused. I know, deep down, he loves us── he just doesn't want to let us know.

"Dude, okay. Do you understand that your problem is that you don't get creative?" JJ waves his cigarette around as he talks, and I push his hand away. "If you got creative, then──"

"Look, I-I know I was wrong about the lighthouse, alright?" We turn our heads towards John B who has spoken up, cutting through JJ's pointless rambling. "and wrong about everything else going on..." Kiara and John B share a look, so it's obvious he's talking about the kiss. "But I-I was right about one thing. Okay? Our dad is trying to tell us something."

Dad is trying to tell us something.

We arrive at the burial sight of Olivia Redfield Routledge, our great-great-grandmother. We grab flashlights and we walk down the very muddy, very dark path that leads to the mausoleum where other family members are buried alongside her. I'm trailing behind John B, the others behind me as we walk ahead, keeping a close eye out for the burial sight. "You know how you're trying to remember a song and can't remember who sings it?"

"Yeah."

"So, Redfield. This whole time, I thought it was a place, right? But it's not a place. It's a person." We come to a stop, now standing in front of the mausoleum that belongs to our great-great-grandmother. We shine our torches, revealing a concrete sign that says, "Redfield."

"Voi-effing-là."

"See, our great-great-grandmother was Olivia Redfield. That was her maiden name." The doorway to the mausoleum is blocked by a giant, circular bolder. Of course, because it can't just be this easy. "Help me with the door. Come on."

The boys step forward to try and push at the bolder covering the doorway. Kiara and I stare, holding our flashlights and their flashlights while they continue to push and shove at the concrete bolder but it will absolutely not budge.

Yes, the boulder is absolutely not going to budge, not even with three totally strong sixteen-year-olds.

"This door is like seven hundred pounds. It's not gonna budge."

"We didn't come this far to get this far, alright?" That's the spirit!

I hear a hissing sound down below, and I shine the flashlight down at my feet, shrieking when my eyes catch onto a snake. "Oh, my God!" I jump up, moving away from the snake slithering in the dirt. I scurry away, rushing to hide behind JJ who steps forward, getting a closer look.

"That's a moccasin, alright." I grasp his arms, standing very close behind him as he hoovers near it. "Ye olde Dr. Cottonmouth. Death in tall grass." He steps away from me, following the stupid snake, and then he starts to bark, surprising me.

I snatch JJ's arm, needing him to shut the hell up before the dead start to rise. "JJ, shut up."

"You're gonna wake the dead, man."

"They're afraid of dogs," he says matter-of-factly. "Everyone knows that, man."

"How do you know that?"

He shrugs, peering at me. "I read."

I scoff. "What? Animal Trick for Dumbasses?"

"Wow." He shakes his head. "I'm hurt, Sunshine."

"Well──"

"Wait, hold on." JJ takes my arm, pulling me back. "If there's one, there's probably dozens." JJ looks around, acting a little too dramatic for me "All around..." There's something sinister in his voice that tickles me the wrong way.

I smack his arm. "Stop. You're scaring me."

JJ starts to bark again, ignoring me and everybody else. "Stop barking at snakes," John B insists, grasping his shoulder.

"We're not gonna get in there, alright?" Pope steps away from the boulder covering the entrance to the mausoleum. "It's not budging. We should probably just go."

I step away, raise my torch on the doorway, and I spot a small gap in the concrete that isn't covered by the boulder. I consider my options for a few seconds, wondering if I could actually squeeze my ass in there. I clear my throat. "I can get through," I say, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"What?"

"No, no, no, no." Pope shakes his head. "You think you're gonna fit through that hole?" He shines the torch on the hole in question, head still shaking, and I nod.

"Look, this is about my dad. I need to find out── we need to find out," I correct, peering over at John B. "We deserve the truth, so I'll do it. I'll climb in."

John B places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "You sure?"

"If I don't do it now, I'll change my mind."

"Help her out," Kiara says, pointing to JJ and Pope.

JJ crouches down with his hands out, his back pressed against the wall. "I'm gonna boost you, alright?" I hum in response, stepping forward to him as he prepares himself to lift me up. "I've seen it in the movies several times. Ready?"

"What are you looking for?" Kiara asks.

"I'll know it when I see it," I reply.

I step forward, place my hands on JJ's shoulders, and place one foot on his hands. He pushes me up, sliding up the wall as I grip onto the wall, lifting myself upwards and through the crack in the concrete. It's a tight fit, but I manage to shimmy my way in.

I pull myself into the mausoleum, my feet planted securely on the ground. I'm alive. I'm breathing. No snakes are hissing at my feet. No bugs are crawling at my skin. I am fine.

"You alive?" John B asks, and I breathe out a laugh. "You got, like, a-a heartbeat and everything?" I think so.

I move the flashlight around the small space, a little freaked that my great-great grandmother is buried somewhere in here along with other family members I never got to meet. "More light, please," I say, and John B lifts his flashlight, giving me some more light which I didn't realise I needed until my eyes catch onto something I'm supposed to be looking for.

I'll know it when I see it.

"Did you find anything? Any gold?"

I step forward, my eyes focused on a package. "Oh, my God."

Sitting there, staring up at me is a package that reads, For Bird & Brookie.

──────────────────────────

❀ soph speaks

hey,, republishing is kinda slow i apologise

thankyou for reading nonetheless :)