020     high-school is over, bitches!

𝗝𝘂𝗹𝗶𝗮 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗸𝗹𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹. It wasn't always that way. Usually, she looked forward to sitting in class and counting down the days until summer made an appearance. But now? Well, she didn't care for much anymore. Her second mother figure was dead. She no longer had a boyfriend, and nothing seemed to matter.

It was crazy how much could change in just nine months.

Now, well, Julia sat in class with people who acted like they cared but really didn't care at all. They put up a front to seem considerate or sympathetic, but she knew better than most that it was all fake. Nobody cared about her.

People around her talked, almost as if they could never stop. But, she didn't hear them. Well, she heard, but her mind forced itself to tune out everyone. Even the teacher.

The only sound she really looked forward to was the sound of the obnoxiously loud bell. The second it went off, her feet were taking her to the door, ignoring the instructions of her teacher. Something about enjoying their summers. She knew she wouldn't be doing that.

She wouldn't be doing much at all.

Her converse-clad feet took her to her locker, hands working at the lock like clockwork. She knew it like the back of her hand.

Soon enough, as she began packing her things into her backpack that resided in her locker, her little sister was approaching her. The same somber expression on her face.

Her backpack was slung over her shoulder, a long sleeved shirt with green stripes on her figure.

"Where's Steven?" Julia asked blankly, zipping up her bag and slamming the locker shut. The older brother would be the one to drive them home, and he was nowhere to be seen. Usually, he would come running to find his sister's.

"I don't know," Belly shrugged, feet shuffling underneath her. "I-"

Whatever the brunette was going to say was cut off by a blonde's chiper voice. They turned around collectively to see Taylor walking towards them, her friends following in her path, almost like puppy dogs.

"They're pink, obviously, and I got a bunch of new kneepads." Taylor informed, turning to the dark-skinned girl beside her.

"Ooh, knee pads, Taylor,' the girl mused sarcastically, feigning shock. The blonde beside her laughed with an eye roll.

"Shut up," Taylor giggled. She approached the two girls, stopping beside Julia's closed locker. She leaned against the blue steel with a smile. "Hey, Bells. Hi, Julia."

"Hey," the older Conklin replied dryly before turning fully to face the volleyball group.

Belly, on the other hand, simply ignored her best friend, eyes roaming to look at the girls gathering around them. "It's not too late to sign up for volleyball camp, you know."

Belly, who looked more than nervous, looked down momentarily. "Um..."

However, her thought was cut short by their brother, his loud and animated demeanor drawing the attention of everyone in the hallway. He continued to make whooping sounds before eventually stopping near Julia, his arm slung around her energetically.

"Oh, high school is over, bitches!" He cheered, shaking his blonde sister harshly. The only thing she could do was muster a small grin, shrugging his arm off.

"Whoo!" Steven laughed, shoving his sister off of him, eliciting an eye roll.

"You're such a clown, Steven," Taylor rolled her eyes, holding her hand up to block the tall boy from approaching her.

"What?" He feigned hurt, a loud scoff erupting from his mouth.

One of the girls beside Taylor spoke up, drawing the attention away from the oldest Conklin brother. "Hey, if I were going to Princeton, I'd be screaming about it, too."

"Thank you, Evelyn," the black-haired boy held his fist up, glad someone had agreed with his childish behavior.

"Wait," Taylor cut in with a smile. "Are you going to Princeton? That's so cool, I couldn't tell." She smiled at her own joke, motioning towards his bright orange t-shirt. In big bold letters, read 'Princeton' on the front, a logo not far under the letters.

"Oh, you- you couldn't tell? I love you, too," Steven pushed the girl's head, eliciting laughs from the people around them. Julia just simply smiled, her sister not sharing in on the happiness.

"Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, Steven," a friend, whom Julia had seen around the school every once in a while, approached her brother, holding his hand out.

"Spike, what's up, man?" Steven laughed, greeting his friend with a handshake that Julia frowned at. Since when was her brother so popular?

"What time's the grad party tomorrow, man?" The boy with hair down to his shoulder questioned.

Taylor interjected. "The band comes on at ten. I'm dating the singer." Julia noticed the pink pigment that flushed over her cheeks, and she wore a proud smile.

"Uh, yeah," Steven scoffed. "The Machine Gun Kelly wannabe. I tried to veto him from playing, but I guess we couldn't find anybody cheaper."

Julia could recognize that look from anywhere. How Steven avoided Taylor's gaze or how his insults clouded his jealously. He was jealous. Taylor pushed a stray hair of her bangs out of her eyes, giving him an annoyed glare.

"Wait." She turned away from the boy with an eye roll. "So, are you guys coming to the party?" Taylor questioned, eyes now fixated on the two sisters.

Belly's face screwed up into one of awkwardness, tilting her head in thought, even if she knew what her answer would be. As did Julia because she was quick to answer.

"No, probably not," Julia shrugged, eliciting a sigh from the blonde across from her. "Belly can go, though."

Feeling eyes on her, she nervously shrugged. "Uh, I don't know." Immediately, Taylor groaned, annoyed that two of her closest friends were denying her, especially when she was so excited to see her boyfriend play. But, it was usually how they were.

They didn't care about anything, it was all pointless.

"Belly." A voice rang behind the differentiated group, all eyes collectively landing on the counselor just down the hall. She wore a long brick colored skirt, a white tank top hanging just below the waistline. Her hands were folded properly, but she had a stern look in her eyes. "Belly. Can I talk to you for a minute, please?"

Let's just say Belly was less than amused. Julia could just see it on her face. Her dark chocolate eyes rolled, and a sigh left her tight-lipped mouth.

Her eyes glanced over to her sister momentarily before facing back to the counselor emotionlessly. "I... I gotta go."

"Okay." Taylor glanced down, a sympathetic gaze in her eyes. All of a sudden, everyone's eyes were on the girl, but Steven's never left Julia's. They both knew all too well what this was about.

She was flunking. If Belly didn't focus on school, she would never get back on track. She would've had to retake the class.

"Bye." The dark-skinned girl, Evelyn, waved softly before they all watched Belly walk off down the hall, her head low and demeanor as chipped as ever.

"We should already be in the car!" Laurel's voice rung obnoxiously loud in Julia's brain, her eyes droopy and hand holding her head up on the kitchen table. The last thing she needed was loud voices shouting in her ears after having gotten less than three hours of sleep.

"Coming!" Her older brother's voice rang out from the second floor, his cap and gown hanging on a hook. Julia's eyes never left it, scanning the neatly ironed fabric.

But, just inches away, was her cap and gown. It was a few sizes smaller, but it was there nonetheless. She never thought she would see the day when she was graduating. Especially beside her older brother of a year.

But, she was put into the same grade as him when she was only six. That's what happened when her brain moved faster than most.

If the universe was fair, Susannah would be right beside her, cheering her on in the audience. She would surely be proud of both of them. But she wasn't here, and nothing could bring her back. You could say that's why she wasn't exactly excited about graduation.

"They're not gonna start without me," Steven muttered, referring to his role as valedictorian. She was proud of him, but she rolled her eyes nonetheless. He always did have a high ego. "We've got time."

"I highly doubt they'll miss you," Julia muttered dryly from her spot beside the kitchen table. She wore a soft blue dress that rested above her knees, the waist tightly around her figure. The straps joined behind her neck, a tight knot done by Laurel.

"I was supposed to iron that shirt for you," Laurel sighed, pushing the pieces of hair that framed her face.

"Nobody's gonna look at it," Julia rolled her eyes. "His nose will distract them." At her remark, Steven harshly shoved her head, Julia moving to protect the curls. Two bobby pins pulled back the front strands of her hair, letting the curled pieces rest in the back.

"Julia," Laurel warned sharply before turning back to her son. "Take it off, and..."

"Oh, it's - it's handled." Steven cut her off, his hands up in surrender. "It's handled. See? I used the starch spray that makes it look real smooth, huh?"

Despite her frustration, their mother still managed to let out a chuckle, her eyes crinkling in the corners. It was the first true smile Julia thought she'd seen since Susannah died.

"Oh, is that for me?" Steven's surprised voice forced Julia to look over her shoulder to see Belly entering the room with a large straw-sewn basket, filled to the brim with different trinkets.

"It's for both of you," Belly responded with a smile, putting the box down on the table in front of Julia. Her brows furrowed at the sight of the large box, balloons and different gifts neatly tucked inside. There was a divider in the middle, presumably a side for Steven and a side for Julia.

"Yeah?" Julia mustered a smile. "Who's it from?" She leaned forward, inspecting the contents of the box.

"Sweet, a laptop!" Steven chuckled excitedly, his hand moving towards the large box. "Well, who sent this? What?"

As Steven relished in the new gifts, Julia's eyes couldn't leave the letter that she picked up. Steven had gotten one, too, but she was too busy looking at the envelope to open it.

"Susannah," She muttered out almost incoherently, but they heard her nonetheless.

Everyone's eyes fell onto the letter she held, a new silence covering them like an oversized blanket. It was uncomfortable and painful all at once.

Eventually, their mother broke the silence. "She must have planned it before. Classic Beck."

"I wish she could've been here," Steven sighed, picking up his letter from his respective spot in the basket. Julia opened hers slowly, heart racing as she unfolded the letter within the envelope.

She knew her hands were shaky, but she ignored it as she revealed the words written neatly on the paper. Susannah, always did have the best handwriting.

"Conrad and Jeremiah, too," his eyes fell onto Julia's at the mention of her ex-boyfriend. Slowly, everyone was looking at her, but when she cleared her throat, they quickly looked away as fast.

"Yeah," She whispered. "Me too."

"They were busy," Laurel reminded, but they all knew why Jeremiah was avoidant. He didn't want to see her. It pained him too much. But, he knew she wouldn't let him, Steven wouldn't let him. He was his best friend, of course. But, he would always put his sisters first.

"Yeah, sure," Steven's voice holds a slight hostility, taking a quick glance at his blonde sister.

While her siblings and mother continued rushing to get ready, Julia couldn't muster up the courage to stand up. No, she had to read the letter.

It pained her to do it, but she had to. It was almost as if she got the chance to talk to her one more time. One more time.

'My beautiful Jules,
congratulations on your graduation. This is the start of your perfect life. I really wish I could be there to see my girl shine, but your extraordinary mom and siblings will be with you every step of the way. Remember, I will always be proud of the exceptionally great young woman you have become.
                             Love, Susannah.'

Julia took a deep breath, letting the letter rest in her cold hands. Tears threatened to spill, but she wouldn't cry. She couldn't. Susannah would want her to stand tall, be brave.

Her whole life, Susannah would remind her how proud she was and how she could face anything to come. She knew that was true, but Julia seemed to find it so much harder without her holding her hand each step of the way.

If she wasn't going to do it for herself, she would do it for Susannah Fisher.

"You should read this." Steven finally spoke up, holding the letter out to their mother.

"Mine, too," Julia interjected, swallowing down the crack in her voice.

"Later," Laurel shrugged it off, pushing down the hurt and focusing on the task at hand. She knew she had to be strong for her kids, and she couldn't do that if she wasn't for herself. "We should go. Found them. Come on."

With that, she walked off towards the front door, note cards in hand. She left her children behind, wary glances exchanged between the three of them. Their mother was falling off of the deep end.

But then again, who wasn't? It was all about how.