"You know I love you, right?" You smiled at Suna, your faces inches apart. He couldn't help but smile at your words, his heart beating against his chest. "I love you too," He responded. "Always have." He added on. A laugh escaped your lips as you looked away from him. "I love you too, don't you worry." Suna looked down between you two, your very pregnant stomach popping out from under the shirt you had on.

Placing your hand on it, you smiled down as you began to rub your stomach gently. Suna followed your movements. "I can't wait to see her. She's gonna beautiful just like you." He admitted. The excitement he had couldn't be contained. He was so ready to his little girl. "I actually think she's gonna look like you, but have my attitude. Definitely." You raised your brows. Suna chuckled. He continued to rub your stomach, the soft action soothing you as you laid back on the pillow.

"You're going to put me to sleep, Rin." You mumbled, eyes fluttering shut. "Well," Suna placed a kiss on your stomach, "I know you've been up since early this morning. Take a nap." His voice was low and relaxing as he watched you relax. He knows with the baby being so close you haven't been able to sleep too well. The nerves were getting to you, scared of how the birth was going to go. "Are you sure?"

Suna nodded, "positive. Get rest while you can, okay?" He slightly leaned forward, kissing your cheek. The corner of your lips curved into a small smile, "I love you, Rin."

Suna jolted awake, the silence of his empty house filled his ears. He blinked multiple times, trying to process what just happened. He knew what happened, but couldn't believe it. It felt so real to him. It felt like happiness. He dreamt of you being pregnant. You and him were happy and in love. Sitting up, he sighed, "Fucking hell."

He couldn't let go. He was punishing himself at this point and he knew he deserved it. His own brain was betraying him now. There was no fighting this, he couldn't get you out of his head. No matter how much he hangs around Faye and tries his hardest to support her, Suna doesn't feel any different about the situation. Truth be told, Suna doesn't want the kid to be his. He really doesn't. He never wanted a child with a girl he barely knew. The whole situation was fucked.

Yesterday, he knows you heard what Faye and Yuki said. He knows because you stormed out of the lunchroom without hesitation. And he knows because he saw you crying in the parking lot as Haru and Zee walked you back to the car. Shortly after Zee left, Suna followed behind him and watched behind the double doors. It was like you were holding onto Haru for dear life. The look on your face as you cried would be embedded into his brain forever. Suna only keeps hurting you even if he's not interacting with you.

Maybe you two weren't meant to be together, and this was the universes way of showing it. But fuck whatever anyone or anything says or does, he'll find his way back to you. He doesn't care whether it's today, tomorrow, or thirty years from now. He knows he loves you. And he knows you still love him. You're just scared of what could happen. He won't blame you for that. He understands his mistakes caused you to be extra cautious. But, Suna wants to break down that wall you put up in front of him and finally hold you again.

Faye told Suna nine weeks was the earliest they could do a paternity test to see who the baby's father was. That was 9 weeks too long. Suna wasn't in love with Faye. Sure she was beautiful, sweet and thoughtful, but she wasn't you. That wasn't the girl he wanted to marry and spend the rest of his life with. Suna knows people might look at him crazy for thinking he's ready to settle down at such a young age, but you made him that way. He was willing to do anything for you. But one thing he couldn't do was protect you from himself.

Countless times, you guys fought and argued over stupid shit and made up, but this, this just kept getting worse. He's so sorry for how he treated you, how he broke your heart and left you crying and wondering if things would get better. Empty promises were made by him multiple times because he was so scared of losing you. He never wanted to see you leave, but you did. All he wants is you. That's all he wants. A selfish man is what Suna is. How could he explain this to you? How could he explain that the baby had a chance of not being his? Like that would make it any better.

He wanted you back. No one makes him laugh like you do. No one laughs or smiles like you. No one touches and holds him like you do. No one kisses him like you do. No one calls him Rin like you do. He misses every little detail about you. The way your eyes would crinkle when you'd laugh really hard, or how your eyes light up when he came home from work. God, he misses that so much. Seeing you walk out the room and run over to hug and kiss him.

He laughs to himself, thinking about how you guys would come home after a night out and you'd be too lazy to change out of your dress and heels, begging him to help you. Ultimately, it just ends up in him changing you without you lifting a muscle. Suna would do that a million times more if it meant he could have you again. His phone buzzed on his nightstand. He slowly moves his head to look, grabbing it quickly. For some reason, he hoped it was you.

But it wasn't. It was Faye. He let out a sigh, ignoring the message and tossing his phone back on the bed. He needed to get his day started and distract himself.

━━━━━

Stepping out of the shower, your wrapped a clean towel around your body as you wet feet hit the plush, warm rug under you. Truth be told, you had been crying all night and day, barely getting any sleep. You weren't even sure you wanted to walk into the same building that he'd be in. But, you had a to put in a brave face for yourself. You ended it and for good reason. And figuring out that he got Faye pregnant only added to that reason.

You stood in front of the mirror, grabbing your moisturizer and makeup bag. The dark circles crept up on you last night after not getting any sleep. And your eyes were swollen from all the crying. It was best to let it out instead of keeping it in, that's what you kept telling yourself. The more you vent and let yourself cry it out, the quicker you'll get over it.

Taking two fingers, you applied the moisturizer to areas of your face. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you began to wonder if you were the problem all along. You know you had your faults, you weren't perfect. But, insecurity bubbled inside of you. Were you not pretty enough? Were you not as caring and loving? What was it? Did Suna really love you? Does he love Faye? Did he ever really find you pretty? Or were you just a good fuck from time to time?

Your eyes began to water as the questions filled your head. Letting the tears fall, you sniffled and tried to ignore the voices in your head. Of course you were pretty. Of course you were loving and caring. You weren't just a good fuck. You had to tell yourself that because no one else would. Well, maybe Haru.

Wiping away the tears, you began rubbing in your moisturizer. The negative thoughts that plagued your mind reminded you all too well of your old high school relationships. You were so naive and so young. You swore you'd never let yourself be this stupid again, but when you really love someone, it's hard to let them go. And that was your problem. Yes, you let Suna go physically, but mentally and emotionally he was still there. There was something about that boy that just wouldn't leave.

You hated him. Truly. You had to grow up and remind yourself that you're an adult, not a teenager in high school dealing with stupid ass boys. Doing right by yourself was the only way up from here. Whether that meant a little self care, hanging out with your best friend, partying, eating your favorite snacks, or even finding another guy. It's what had to be done if you really wanted to get over Suna. Of course he'll always have a piece of your heart, but he couldn't have the entire thing forever.

You found yourself thinking about him all the time, remembering the scent of his cologne, the way he would lazily smile at you, giving you that look. The way he would hug you and sort of rock back and forth. His hugs were always so warm, his arms wrapped all around you. "Stop, y/n," You slammed down your moisturizer, staring at yourself in the mirror. "Stop." You exhaled.

"Y/n!" Haru shut the door to your apartment. "In here!" You yelled, closing your moisturizer. Haru walked into your bathroom, leaning against the doorway. "Almost forgot I gave you my spare key for a second. Nearly shit myself." You sighed, slightly chuckling. Haru smiled at you, "how you feeling?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Shaking your head, you reached into your makeup bag and grabbed your concealer. "Like shit." The answer slipped from your mouth, but it was the honest truth. Haru frowned and walked up behind you, staring at you from the mirror as you applied your makeup. "Fuck, Suna. Okay? Because that dickhead lost one of the most beautiful people I know. Inside and out." Haru placed his chin on your shoulder, softly smiling at you. "Reminds me of my old high school relationships." You fake gagged.

Haru laughed, "you were a fucking mess after Kuroo. Remember him?" Haru teased, poking your side. "Oh no! Do not bring him up! I should have known better. But he was the volleyball science nerd who was cute. I thought he was a sweet third year." You tried to defend yourself even though you were laughing at you past actions. "Sweet third year my ass. Volleyball science nerd who was cute? Yes." Haru agreed.

"So glad he went to a different university, or I actually might've laid down in the middle of the street." You giggled, blending in your concealer. Haru laughed loudly, shaking his head at you. "Worse than Suna?" Haru asked, raising a brow. "Suna's getting there," You pursed your lips, brows raised as you dug into your makeup bag for your mascara. "He's getting there."

"Okay," Haru scoffed, "Kuroo was not that bad! You're just embarrassed about it because it was an old relationship that just didn't work out. But he wasn't bad." Haru made an argument. You pondered for a few seconds, "true, but still." You looked over your shoulder at you best friend. "Yeah, yeah. Hurry your ass up, school starts in thirty minutes."

━━━━━

Suna sat in his car before school started, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. He still didn't respond to the good morning text Faye sent him. He didn't plan on it either. All he was doing was scrolling through your social media, looking at the pictures of you-some of them he took. You looked so beautiful in each and every one of them.

"Suna!" There was a knock on his window. He slightly jumped, shutting his phone off as he saw Faye waving at him, Yuki by her side. He rolled down his window, "hey." He said plainly. Faye smiled at him, "coming in?" She asked, referring to school. He nodded, "I'll meet you in a few." Faye nodded, walking away from the car. Suna sighed, rolling his window back up.

His head leaned against the headrest as he sat there with his eyes closed. He could tell Faye was falling for him, catching feelings. But he couldn't do that right now, not with her, or anyone. "What the fuck?" Suna groaned, dragging his hands down his face. Suna eventually got out the car, grabbing his bag from the passenger seat. The cold air hit him in the face immediately. He couldn't wait until the weather was warm again.

"Wait let me fix your eyelashes." Haru jumped in front of you, using his finger to slightly push them up. He carefully inspected each of your eyes. "Okay, your good." He nodded, walking between you and Zee. "Haru, you're a damn trip." You laughed. Suna felt his heart drop at the sound of your voice approaching closer to him. He panicked. He couldn't let you see him.

Quickly, he got back in his car and shut the door. He watched from his rear view mirror as you walked by with Zee and Haru. He couldn't do this. He couldn't risk the possibility of you seeing him at all. He was afraid of seeing the look or hatred in your eye because he knew that you did. You had to by now. Starting his car back up, he pulled out of the parking space and decided to head back home or anywhere that wasn't here.

At the sudden noise, you turned and looked at the car leaving the lot. Suna's car. You thickly swallowed, watching it quickly leave before looking back in front of you, entering the university to start your day.

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄:
I'm just pulling these chapters out of my ass this point lmao! Anyway, I don't have much to say but enjoyyyyy.