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s3ep9
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phil, luke and effy were sitting at the kitchen counter, watching as claire was stuffing the turkey

"oh my goodness, those hands are cold" phil joked, while his children giggled "at least buy me dinner first"

"boom" luke chuckled. claire put the turkey in the oven.

"tell my wife and kids i love them" she said, closing the door

"oh my god" phil muttered

"that's kind of dark, mom" luke added

before anyone could say anything else on the matter, phil's phone vibrated, indicating a call. "quick. what's my favorite hospital food? jell—o" luke and effy chuckled. "hey buddy. no, todays still good"

"good for what?" claire asked "who's buddy?"

"yeah, just head over to the house"

"whose house? whose buddy?"

"okay, see you in a couple"

"couple of what? who's buddy?"

"kenneth" phil put the phone down, answering like it was obvious

"kenneth?" claire repeated

"kenneth"

"oh is that the crazy one?" effy asked her mother

"what? no!" phil protested "kenneth isn't crazy, he's super cool, i taught him everything i know"

effy raised her eyebrows and phil took a deep breath "alright, maybe he's a little bit crazy, are you happy?" he asked claire before he left the room, opening the front door for his old friend.

some time later, they were all in the kitchen.

"oh! so many memories in this place!" kenneth looked around with enthusiasm. "do you guys still have, like, every cereal?"

"we have a lot," luke nodded as he rocked back and forth in his seat.

"yeah, of course you do," kenneth laughed. "and how about your crazy school, effy? how's that going? your dad told me how smart you were."

"oh, thanks," effy looked uncertainly in her father's direction. "but i got thrown out."

"oh, that's unfortunate," said kenneth sympathetically. "but at least you guys have the greatest dad in the world."

"so what have you been up to?" phil leaned forward with interest. "i haven't seen you since you went off to college."

"oh actually, that didn't end so well"

suddenly, effy's phone was indicating a call, the photo on the display showing charlie. "uh sorry" she muttered, standing up and walking down the hallway.

"hey charlie" she just said, hoping he would finally explain what had been going on with him these past few days.

"hey lou" charlie replied and effy thought for a short second that he might've been crying.

"is everything alright? are you hurt?"

"no, no, it's okay" charlie muttered "can i see you later though? i have to talk with you about something, something important"

effy nodded her head even if he couldn't see "sure, of course. and i shouldn't just come over now?"

"no, sorry, now isn't a good time. i have to help mom with dinner. but later, okay?"

"sure" effy answered confused and before she could say another word, he had already ended the call.

———

"okay everybody, come on! two minutes until dinner!" claire walked around the kitchen after the family had arrived. "oh wow manny, what have you got there?"

manny walked into the room, holding a giant art project, that effy couldn't really identify

"he made a centerpiece" gloria smiled

"oh that's fantastic!" phil complimented

"it's garbage" manny frowned and pushed the centerpiece into the garbage

"no no no" gloria ran forward "what are you doing? it's so beautiful!"

"stop the lies, jay told me the truth"

"what did you say?" gloria looked up from manny with a furious look in her eyes.

"i mentioned it wasn't his best effort" jay shrugged

"he said it was a swing and a miss" manny added

"grandpa!" effy said surprised, her hand went to manny's shoulder, to soothe the boy

"why? why do you say these things, jay?" gloria screamed "it's like i married my mother!"

"yea jay, why would you do that?" cam asked

"because he's a pritchett" phil declared as if it was obvious "but don't let these negative nellies drag you down, manny. because one day, you could have a trillion—dollar idea that the people who supposedly love you most—"

"okay phil" claire interrupted her husband "that's it. go get the head—scratcher"

"the real head—scratcher, t.m.?"

"go get it, and let everybody else decide how many trillions i've cost you"

"way ahead of you!"

"so what's going on here?" mitch asked, just entering the conversation

"we are about to make hat history. or as i like to call it, 'hat—story'. early man had hours and hours to scratch his weary head, but what about todays busy times?" phil took the helmet from luke and put it on his head, waiting for him to turn it on. "thank you, squire. great thing about this, you can wear it anywhere. hit it buddy!"

luke activated the helmet.

"ohhh" phil said exited "it's like a thousand tony angels are line dancing on my sca— ahh" his hand went up to the helmet and pain was written all over his face "looks like we got a slight malfunction in a rear nogginizer"

"everything alright, dad?" effy asked worried

"yeah, i'm fine, don't— ohh shut her down! shut her down, buddy!" phil screamed, falling to the floor, luke and jay rushed to help him. "it's got my hair, it's got my hair!"

finally, the machine stopped and phil stood back up. "i'm fine. forgot about that feature. it's an exfoliating scrub"

"that was on purpose?" effy muttered to manny, who giggled

"you know what, phil?" cam asked "keep it up and i admire you and manny. i know what it's like to stare down skepticism from a loved one"

"cam not now" mitch shook his head

"why not now? it's thanksgiving, families gather. issues come up"

"only if you bring them up" jay argued

"it's healthy to get things out in the open. y'all know my punkin' chunkin' story, or do you need a refresher?"

"we've heard it"

"oh, several times"

"i love it" said gloria "with cody and the friends"

"yeah" cam nodded "so you know how it ends. but the question is, who here things i made that up?"

effy watched as jay, claire, mitch and alex raised their arms and reluctantly followed their action

"whoa, well. doesn't that tell the whole story right there? here we have the skeptics" cam made a movement with his hand, pointing at the five of them. "the dream squashes. the pritchetts. and here" he pointed to the rest of the family "we have the dreamers, the artists, the visionaries"

"sweet caroline!" phil screamed, finally removing the helmet

"so we're supposed to believe that you make a pumpkin fly across a football field?"

"i can prove it to you right now. let's go to the football field"

"yes, let's do it" mitch agreed "i'd love to end this"

"yeah let's settle this. dreamers vs pritchetts"

the family cheered at phil's words.

"no no no!" claire screamed, silencing everyone "i did not just cook for eight hours, so you people could run off to prove some asinine point that's only gonna make half of us feel bad. come on, show a little respect"

in response to her speech, the family sat down, silently agreeing.

"turkey smells great, sweetheart" jay complimented

"is that turkey?" phil asked "because something smells like chicken"

"okay" claire said loudly "let's settle this"

the family cheered loudly, following claire out of the house. while her family got in the car, effy noticed charlie standing at the fence.

"mom, just go ahead, i'll stay here"

"are you sure, sweetheart?" effy just nodded, her eyes not leaving charlie's sad features

claire hugged the girl, before she got in the car. it actually wasn't that far to the football field, but no one wanted to walk.

———

an hour later, the family came back to the dunphy household. effy was sitting on the stairs in front of the door, waiting for them.

her cheeks were tear stained and claire and phil immediately rushed forward, checking her over for any injuries.

"what happened baby?" claire's hands roomed her daughters face in worry

effy was avoiding her mothers eyes.

"go ahead" phil instructed, telling the rest of the family to go inside, feeling like effy wasn't keen on everyone staring at her. everyone else seemed concerned as well, but just did as they were told.

there were a few minutes of silence, before effy sobbed loudly. "charlie's moving away to sacramento"

"oh honey" phil cooed, embracing the girl in his arms. he looked up at his wife, tears welling in both of their eyes. charlie and effy had never been separated for long. even when she had went to the boarding school, he had visited her every weekend. and they had just had each other back as well. la to sacramento wasn't a twenty—minute drive.

"i'm so sorry baby" claire muttered softly

"he said he can't stay with this dad, they decided that it would be best for him to go with susannah, because the school is better and he's too young to decide where he wants to stay, he can only when he's older"

"i know, honey" phil softly pulled the hair from out her face. the redness has spread all over her cheeks, making her look sick. and maybe she were.

for effy home wasn't home without charlie, he belonged to her just as much as her family. claire and phil knew that and it made them worry incredibly for their girl.

———

A/N: sorry guys don't hate me lol, i promise i have a plan!!! 😭😂

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