My breathing was labored, coming out in sharp pants as I paced the floor in nervous anxiety. He had never been gone this long. Sure, sometimes missions had been extended - for weeks at a time even. But two months? It was far too long...and the waiting was starting to get to me.

At first, General Organa had reassured me repeatedly that everything was still going to plan...until we lost contact with Poe's ship. It felt like someone had punched me in the gut, sucking all the air from my lungs like I'd been tossed out into hyperspace. When I was with others, I could hold it together. Not think about it so much. But when night fell and the darkness wrapped around me like a suffocating blanket I couldn't shrug off, my brain went into overdrive.

Suddenly, I couldn't breathe without Poe's arms encircling me, my back pressed to his chest like always. I tried to squeeze my eyes shut and imagine he was here, his warm breath tickling the nape of my neck as he whispered sweet nothings into my skin. Instead, I was left to lie here in a cool, empty bed. My eyes shot open then and I glanced to my right, feeling tears well up despite trying to fight it. It was no use. Poe just wasn't here and it felt like it was physically killing me.

A sob bubbled up from my lips but I couldn't stifle it, not here, not now. I'd held these emotions back too long, it seems. Now they couldn't be controlled. The tears came hot and heavy then, quickly soaking my pillow as I let it all out. My entire being ached for him. What if I never saw him again? What if he was out there, captured by the enemy? Or worse, de... No, I couldn't finish that thought. It was too much...

Suddenly, the door hissed open, letting slivers of light trickle into the tiny apartment aboard ship that I shared with Poe. Through bloodshot eyes and with tearstained cheeks, I glanced up to lock gazes with my best friend, Rey. The expression on her face was that of sympathy, almost like she already knew the pain I was going through before she even stepped into the room. Her brown hair was unkempt and her clothes in disarray, as if she had bolted out of bed to get here.

A beat passed before she took one tentative step towards me, "Are you alright?"

Reflexively, I nodded and offered back a 'yes' that quickly melted into a sob. In moments, Rey had crossed the space between us and wrapped me into a sisterly embrace. Her hand patted my back in an attempt to soothe me but my tears were like an ocean, wracking my body. Rey was everything you could ask for in a best friend - loyal, honest, kind, supportive, a confidant. But one thing Rey was not was comforting. Admittedly, she tried but it seems living so long as an isolated scavenger had seemingly affected this aspect of her social cues.

"They'll find him, you know. He's not lost, he's a good pilot. He can find his way out of whatever situation he gets himself into. No matter how bad it is..." Rey trailed off, frowning at her last statement after realizing how it sounded, "No, wait, no, I didn't mean that. What I meant to say is that Poe is very capable-"

I sniffled then, brushing the back of my hand across my face as I pulled out of Rey's embrace and sent her a wobbly smile through the last of my tears, "It's okay, Rey, I know what you meant... And you're right. He is a good pilot, he can take care of himself out there. He always has. It's just..."

Tears threatened to pour once again as my voice cracked and I took a deep, calming breath before continuing, "...we haven't been apart this long. Not since we got together. It was different when we were friends. Of course, I worried about him but-"

"-but you weren't emotionally invested in a romantic sense," Rey finished for me, encouraging me to continue as she handed me a tissue she had plucked from a box on the nightstand.

Hm. Maybe Rey could be comforting. I took the tissue from her gratefully before wiping my eyes and then nose, still sniffling slightly. Silence passed for a minute before she spoke again.

"You know that Poe wouldn't want you to worry, right? And if the roles were reversed and he was the one waiting on word from you, I know you wouldn't want him to worry, either. Tell me: what would you be doing?"

I shot her an incredulous glance, "You know what I'd be doing, Rey! Everything in my power to get back home to him!"

She arched her eyebrows at me and suddenly, I felt foolish. Because of course that was exactly what Poe was doing at this very moment: trying to get home to me. And here I was worrying about a situation I couldn't change. Besides, I was no good to the Resistance this way and I knew it.

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding then, reaching behind my head to tighten my ponytail before I nodded.

"Right. No, you're right. He would want me to focus on the Resistance and continue the fight, not to dwell on the obstacles we go through. He'll come back...he has to."

This last was said with such conviction, my chest tightening still with the anxiety of it all. Yet despite that, I didn't let it drag me under like the ocean waves on Kamino. No, I would be strong for Poe.

Rey sent me a smile then and one last reassuring squeeze of her hand on mine before bidding me a good night. She slipped out the door soundlessly and suddenly, my room was once again bathed in total darkness. Slowly, I allowed myself to lie back down in the cool, empty bed as a sudden peace washed over me at a new thought.

Because if Poe didn't come back to me then I would just have to go and find him myself.