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A TWO-PACK NON-GMO EXTRA EXTRA SPICY HOT, hot sauce and a bag of bell peppers.

Nothing more and nothing less. The blonde porcupine boy expected for a quick trip down the street to pick up the groceries, but instead came home empty-handed with a pricked hand and a pair of ruined shorts.

And possibly a crush.

He was thankfully spared by his old hag's lectures, saved by the obvious bulging cactus that found its home comfortably smacked quite literally in the middle of one of his butt cheeks.

"Welcome home brat, did you get the hot sau—" Her eyes were quickly stolen by the huge plant behind him, almost dropping her plates she was washing in bewilderment.

"No."

"Is thats a—"

"Yes it is, and I don't want to talk about it," he replied, before stomping into his room and slamming the door behind him hastily.

Walking home with that thing was a full humiliation and a half, the number of stares he got was beyond embarrassing. It made him realise just how many people he walks by each day, which by the way, was a lot.

He tried to save his face by glaring at every stare he received, but he knew that whoever got a glimpse of this horrific but still hilarious sight, will have this scene burned in their eyes for the rest of their life.

To be honest, if he saw a random dude walking home with a cactus on his ass, he too would be laughing and maybe even take pictures of that clown. It's not every day that you'd see that around, in your city nonetheless.

The next thing you know, he could be written down in a novel as a bedtime story for the rest of the generation to laugh at. Oh, how he wishes this was all just a nightmare.

Or does he?

Never in a million years would he think that he'd fall for someone so stupidly with just one glance. Things like 'love at first sight' were both considered childish and completely foolish to someone like him. And it seems like that thought turned around to bite his ass in the end.

Talking about his ass, he wouldn't have ever thought that with one trip to the grocery store would ever cause him to end up with a bruised ass, bruised from a slap nonetheless. And who would have thought he would be slapped by his newly formed crush on the same day they first met.

Not really the most romantic thing ever, but still memorable.

Now just what happened exactly that lead him to where he is right now, daydreaming about a girl, ass, or should I say cactus up, on the bed?

Well, it all started at around seven pm. The boy was smartly using his evening completing his math homework that wasn't due until the next week. He breezed through everything rather quickly, as it was only a brief review of what was to come upon the upcoming test.

Having to already studied many weeks prior, he was more than prepared to ace the test with no sweat. And, therefore, the packet in front of him was anything but a struggle to complete.

A few timid minutes passed, and just as he was getting to the end of those last few questions, his mother barged into his room, demanding him to go out and buy some condiments.

"Katsuki, can you go out and get some hot sauce for me? I need some for tonight's dinner, we ran out."

A scowl laid itself present on the blonde boy's face, he abruptly turned around to glance at his mother before whipping back to finish his homework, irking the latter.

"Get it yourself old hag, I have homework to do."

As he attempted to dive back into the word problems, a rough, firm grip forced him out from his chair and onto the ground. His bottoms landed heavily onto the clean wooden floor, creating a huge thump that shook the whole house.

Distressed, the boy rubbed his tail bone, trying to ease the pain before angrily glaring at his mother figure. "What the fuck was that for, old hag?"

The mother angrily stomped towards the boy, who seemed to shrink with each coming step. She grasped onto his son's ear tightly, twisting it and painfully pulling it upwards. "Ya brat! Can't you see that I'm busy cooking?" she screeched.

"Oi?! Let go of my fucking ear old hag!" the boy grumbled, attempting to swat his mother's hands away from his ear.

"Who are you calling old hag?"

You can imagine the squabbles that happened after. A few swipes to his head was received, and a few empty threats were given. After the chorus of shouts ended, the mother finally lets go of the boy and began her way out of his room.

"Jesus, can't get you to do anything these days."

The boy replied with the statement with nothing more than an eye roll and a click of his tongue.

Just as the boy thought she was going to leave, she turned around and beautifully showcased her unsettling smile that could honestly make the boy wet his pants. "By the way..."

The boy stayed still and gave her his whole attention.

"If I don't get that fucking hot sauce in ten, forget about spicy curry, we'll be having it sweet instead."

Already tasting the sugary taste that he never learned to like swirling in his tongue, the boy scrunched his nose in disgust. "Why can't you just get it yours—"

"Starting now."

Finally, the boy's mother walked out of his room and down the stairs, away from the boy's view. He made sure that the women wouldn't be able to hear him before he let out a desperate grunt.

'Guess I'll finish this after dinner then.' he sighed, deciding to leave his work sprawled out on his desk, for now.

Reluctantly, he stood up from his room and also made his way out, following his mother's previous route down the stairs, ruffling his hair in the process in frustration.

The boy dragged his heels towards the doorway, sliding into a pair of sandals.

"Katsuki." his mother called.

Impatiently, the called boy turned his head around towards the woman. "What now."

"Oi, shut up with that attitude." She lectured, before pulling out his arm and placing something into his palms. "How are you suppose to buy stuff without money, dumbass."

Ignoring the name-calling, he peered down to his hands to see ¥2000.

"Huh?" the boy questioned, raising a confused eyebrow towards his mother. "Since when did a bottle of hot sauce cost that much?"

The mother patted the boy's shoulder. "I want you to buy two actually, those ones in a bundle?" she inquired. "I also gave you extra to buy whatever you want, just not drugs of course."

"The fuck old hag, I'm literally 14."

"Doesn't mean you can't get drugs."

"Are you saying I should or not—"

"Alright, alright. Enough chit chat, I'll miss you too honey." She laughed, pushing the blonde boy out of her house. "Now go get that hot sauce, and whatever. Hurry up too before I finish cooking."

"Don't touch me old hag!" he growled, yanking himself away from his mother's hands.

"Yeah, yeah. Wait— I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME OLD HAG YOU—"

"Fuck, bye."

And Bakugou yeeted himself out of his doorstep faster than tik tokers could get back to their ex.

He trailed down the sidewalk calmly, hunching his back while glancing up at the sunset every so often. He hasn't been out that much ever, especially around this time of the day. It's gotta be at least 7:30 now, and it was around this time where he'd start getting ready for bed.

To be honest, he didn't even feel hungry, not until his mother reminded him that she hadn't even finished cooking yet.

'I could really help myself with some bell peppers right now.'

Ah, bell peppers.
The only thing in this world that can calm Bakugou down.

Just thinking about the vegetable makes his mouth water.

The squeak of his teeth hitting its skin before digging into its juicy flesh, and the pops clicking his jaws, ringing his ear with each and every seed brought him into a whole nother world of ecstasy.

I guess you could say it was his only source of serotonin, other than beating up a specific deku that is.

With the extra given cash, he would probably grab a few bell peppers as a way to treat himself for still being out so late. He fished out the ¥2000 in his pocket, grinning at it before stuffing it back into his pants.

He continued his journey to the grocery store with a lighter bounce to his steps, straightening his back as he stretched his arms above his head.

As he got closer to his destination, a series of laughter attracted his ears, luring his eyes upon two couple like friends, holding an armful of snacks that seemed just enough for a big house party.

The girl was laughing hysterically by herself while the other was embarrassingly rubbing the back of his neck as a sort of coping mechanism.

Bakugou's eyes were immediately glued to the girl's beautiful long, silky pale hair. It flowed oh so ever gracefully in the wind, curling just at the very tips in the most intricate patterns known to mankind. She was beyond stunning, so beautiful that he wouldn't be surprised if he'd actually seen this girl before on a cover of a magazine.

Everything from her large e/c eyes to her round, plump lips sucked the boy's attention in like a kid to a candy store. Her long white eyelashes fluttered with every slight blink of hers, seemingly flapping its angelic wings in the wind.

His eyes soon glanced over towards the purple-headed boy walking beside her, quickly glaring at him with judgmental eyes.

'Why would she be with someone like him?' he thought. 'Bet that extra can't even throw a punch with those skinny ass arms.'

"Y/N quiet down a bit, everyone is staring at us." The wild purple turnip whispered.

The said girl slaps her knees with one of her hands, placing the other on her stomach, seemingly to only laugh louder than she was before. "I never knew you dressed up as a black cat last year for halloween!" she wheezed. "I'll have to get a picture of you in it this year."

"I wasn't planning on getting a new costume this year, but now I think I will." the purple boy blushed.

"NOOOO!"

The blond boy winced in second-hand embarrassment hearing the ugly screeches coming off from the girl. The jealousy that previously swarmed in his chest resided back into the depths of his stomach, replaced with a murky feeling of annoyance.

If that is what everyone is hyping about of a relationship, he doesn't want it.

That girl could be an exception though.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the boy bending down to the girl's shorter figure and whispered into the girl's ear, brushing a few strands of hair behind it. A hint of light pink splattered upon the girl's cheek, making the blondie click his tongue in annoyance.

He assumed it was either a small intimate message from one to the other, or possibly even a simple cheesy 'I love you.' However, judging by the girl's pale face, whatever the e-boy told her was definitely not something pleasing.

The porcupine felt a bit uncomfortable staring at someone for so long, a stranger nonetheless, and therefore decided to ease his attention away from the couple. But just as he was about to, he locked eyes with the girl for a brief second.

His heart almost stopped pumping in that short moment, just barely able to catch himself before he tripped on an uneven tile. His thoughts swarmed with thoughts, mostly embarrassed that he was caught ogling, but also at the fluttering feeling of butterflies in his stomach.

Though he struggled, he managed to stay calm and continued walking towards his destination. He brushed off the feeling of embarrassment to the back of his mind and forced himself to think of anything but the girl that's passing him.

Time seemed to slow down for the blondie as he caught a whiff of pine forests, an earthy aroma that could only really be smelled after a rainy day.

It was calming, to say the least.

The opposite of him.

Time resumed back to its normal speed as the blondie could no longer see the girl.

He sighed, thinking that he'll probably never be able to meet that pretty girl ever again.

'What the fuck, why am I getting upset?' he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. 'Someone way better will show up sooner or later.'

'I don't even need a girlfriend, All Might never had one, so why would I need one?' he chuckled inwardly to himself.

A sudden knock from his side threw the boy off-guard, just as he turned to see a sea of snow-white strands, a burning sensation began crawling its way to the surface...

SLAP!

...of his ass.

『• • • ✎ • • •』

2211 words
unedited

hehehehe, we got the fandom's favorite boom boom 💥 boy 👦

ya'll r very welcome 😌

but anyways, serious question..
do ya'll actually enjoy this story ?
(be brutally honest too, like low key, high key, mid key, low-mid key, low-high key— u get it.)
👉👈

cuz if not then like, i want to focus more on my haikyuu fanfic.

i dont rlly like this story to be completely honest. its planned horribly and my dedication to finish this is rlly, rlly low.

there's also the reason that im not in the fandom anymore, so 🙈

im either going to discontinue this book and rewrite it, or take away the 1 chap/week schedule that i put up for myself.

but if i see that u guys honestly, genuinely like this poor excuse of a fanfic, then i'll get my gears working again and try my best to continue it before rewriting the whole thing again.