Chapter 10
To Die

"Hyung, don't worry. It'll be alright. Sannie is fine now." Jongho gives a reassuring smile to the other yet again for the hundredth time, the other still not sure if the words held true yet. Clear tear stains embedded on the smooth skin, Hongjoong looked torn apart, a bundle of questions, worries, fears mounting up in him minute by minute. The bright hospital lights didn't help with the sleep deprived condition of the other two giving company to Hongjoong.

But honestly they didn't care much about it. Think of it, one of your precious friend is currently unconscious on the hospital bed after a questionable series of events. Can you wish about sleep? Things had gone over the notch right after the three heard a loud bang and shriek from Hongjoong and San's bedroom. Forgetting all the confusing words Hongjoong was going to finish, they rushed straight to the hospital, with a blood dressed San, unconscious after a round of yelling and pulling at his own hair.

'Please Stop! No!' Hongjoong flinched. 'I said Stop!!!!' Hongjoong felt his eyes continue the leaking session again. 'Why are you doing this to me?!?' Hongjoong felt daggers pierce through his own body. "Sannie wake up-" Hongjoong choked on his tears, burring his head in his hands, fingers finding their way through his blue locks. "Pls-" Hongjoong shut his eyes, crying harder, the visions of his love screaming in pain, sitting in a corner with bloody knees and arms, pulling on his hair, eyes shut tight wanting for whatever inner assault going through him to stop.

"Hyung. The doctors said he needs rest and that he will be alright." Wooyoung informs, his arms moving to hug Hongjoong in a comforting manner, Hongjoong not falling into it though. Hongjoong's body was still rigid as he sniffled waiting to see San awake again. "Hyung, you should get some sleep. We will wake you up if something happens." Wooyoung suggests only for Hongjoong to shake his head, taking irregular paced deep breaths once in a while.

The tinge of failure in Wooyoung's eyes, forcing his lips into a thin line, when he gave Jongho a look behind Hongjoong's back, disappointment flashing the same way in the other's eyes, just as his own did. "Hyung, Sannie wouldn't want to see you this way, would he?" Jongho says. He knows he was stupid to talk this way as if Hongjoong will jump like a kid and say yes I will sleep.

That's when a nurse comes out of the room San was in. Hongjoong immediately looking up in hope at her, her steps clicking on the floor slightly. "Mr.Kim Hongjoong?" She questions looking at the three young men trying to find who truly suited the name. "Yes?" Hongjoong gets up as she starts talking only after she gets to know that he was Kim Hongjoong.

"You can now see the patient. Also visiting hours are soon going to be over, so make sure that only one person stays later if any." Hongjoong thanks her, nodding slightly before making his way to San's room. He was desperate to see him. Wooyoung and Jongho just follow behind.

Opening the door slightly Hongjoong enters making his way straight to the bed and kneeling beside it. San laid on the bed, unconscious, a white blanket above him covering his body as he laid unbothered. An IV tube attached to his hand, a smooth tape keeping it in place. Hongjoong takes that hand in his own, a lone tear descending down his eye corner, his eyes not moving from San. "Sannie, wake up." Hongjoong sniffled out, holding San's hand up to kiss it softly until he felt it fall back out of his hand on the bed with a soft thud. At least he knew San was safe. But until he wakes up, Hongjoong wouldn't be at ease fully either.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"I'm sorry if it's a little burnt, but I tried." Hongjoong smiled nervously while setting a small table at the bed before placing the food on it for San. San chuckled at the appearance of the food. It was not just a little burnt, but quite a bit burnt, but he was still going to eat it. "You know I could have cooked dinner." San comments, slowly picking the fork and taking a bite, immediately regretting yet expecting. The most Hongjoong has managed to learn these past three days after San was discharged from the hospital the next morning was making pancakes. The other times it was take-out food or ramen which San didn't mind much. They were quite better than what he was eating right now.

"How is it?" Hongjoong asks hopefully. San smiles nervously before nodding in approval. "It's really good. Crispy from outside and soft from inside. Try it!" San holds a bite towards Hongjoong, who happy with the fact that he still made it good this time even after its was burnt, takes it. Immediately, his face turns into an unsatisfied one. Now he understands why San meant it was crispy from outside and soft from inside. The outside was crispy cause it was burnt but the insides were soft because the mixture wasn't fully cooked.

Smiling back with half cry face, Hongjoong nods. San pecks Hongjoong's cheek laughing before going to continue until Hongjoong stops him. "Don't eat it! I'll just order something. It's really bad." Hongjoong puts the plate and the small table aside while San continues laughing. "You know I can cook. Let me go and cook something." San tries getting up only for Hongjoong to pull him back resulting in him falling above him, with Hongjoong on bed, underneath.

Hongjoong holds San down with his arms wrapped tightly around him, San making a face to escape. "Let me go I will cook something." San protests, his hair falling on his forehead ending up getting slightly ruffled into the process. "No, you're not doing anything. I'm not letting you, you still need rest." Hongjoong doesn't loosen his grip on San even a single bit.

Pouting, San stops struggling, his head falling on Hongjoong's chest softly. No one spoke a word for a while, Hongjoong and San just relaxing, Hongjoong's hand moving through San's soft hair. "San" Hongjoong voices out. "Hmm?" San just keeps his eyes closed, enjoying the soft heartbeat of Hongjoong enter his ears until Hongjoong speaks again. "What actually happened that day?" San felt cold sweat run through his body. Hongjoong hasn't questioned him anything about that day since he woke up in the hospital.

Honestly, San doesn't know how to say it all either. It's like, his insides are slowly eating him up but he can't notice yet ignore it, like he knows what happened and wants to share it yet doesn't exactly know what happened nor wants to share. "Do I need to say it?" San asks, his voice coming out in a small whisper as he opens his eyes to look at Hongjoong.

Hongjoong bites his lip softly, feeling guilty for asking but he still nods looking deeply in San's eyes. "I want to know. I can't ignore the fact that you broke the window and stabbed your arm without having any idea of what you were doing." Hongjoong says, his voice laced with deep worry. He could still remember how horrifying it was to look at San screaming in pain after hurting himself as if it wasn't him who did it but someone else trying to.

San gulps nodding, removing his weight from above Hongjoong and sitting up. Closing his eyes, San tried remembering what happened. "It was all too much suddenly-" San feels a shiver run down his spine at the pictures of all the blood he saw. 'You are really precious Sannie. My way to everything.' That deep husky voice roams at the back of his head still, the grainy music, the visions of the broken stereo. San feels his body shaking as he continues.

"-I remember how things felt weird everyday since I came back home that night. I felt so tried everyday, I felt like my insides were growing cold but whenever I noticed it, it would stop. I remember his scary voice asking me." San's bottom lip shivered turning paler. Hongjoong growing concerned and holding San's hand, widening his eyes.

It was cold. The same way. He remembers that feeling all too well. Feeling cold blood run down his own spine, Hongjoong stuttered out. "W-What did he a-ask you?"

Hongjoong looked at San's closed eyed face, San slowly opening his eyes at the words. Deadly red orbs shinning and piercing through his gaze, he felt it turn real. The dark veins at the corner of his eyes, the dried blood, the gashes at his skin started growing visible. A creepy smirk came up his features, Hongjoong hearing only his words before everything turned black.

"To Die."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Hey everyone, hope everyone's alright and happy. My schools will be reopening offline from next Monday, so you know what it means. Yeah, updates may be more delayed but I will try to update as much as I can on time. Hope you liked the update and love you all! Till next time!❤️ See ya!❤️❤️❤️