❛ NOZEL SILVA ❜
I always knew that you were too damn selfish, don't know why I looked the other way.

REQUESTED BY: Lilmaranges. Thanks you!!

It was already three in the morning and the right side of your bed is still empty. Nozel Silva's working his butt on his paperwork, again. These past few months, he's getting no sleep at all and you're starting to worry about his health. Of course, you're missing him. His cuddles, his touch, everything. But rolling your eyes, you remembered all of those were forced. Like, you need to finish one of his orders first before he kisses you on the cheeks.

You sighed as you wore your slippers, bringing a pillow and a blanket with you. You need to stop your boyfriend with whatever he's doing right now. Knocking on his door three times, you hear no answer so you just decided to barge in. You saw Nozel on his desk, hair very messy, and dark circles were under his eyes yet he's still writing something on such a thick pile of papers.

"What the hell is your problem again?"

Irritation is painted on his voice but you still chose to put up a smile and be a little bit clingy. Giving him a back hug, he shrugged.

"I'm busy, Y/N. Let go."

"You need to sleep too, you know?"

You put the blanket on his shoulders but he just took it off and let it fall on the ground, making your heartache. He's always like that, treating you like his assistant, not a girlfriend anymore. You know it, you can see and feel it but you chose to put a blind eye. You love Nozel Silva so much and it doesn't matter if he's always raising his voice on you. If he's always putting his work before you.

But not anymore. It's starting to hit you.

"Nozel, try thinking about your health sometimes. You're not getting enough sleep—"

Slamming his fists on the table, he looked up to you. "Can you shut your damn mouth? I'm working!"

Blinking twice, those words hit a nerve in you. "Nozel! I'm just worried about you! How dare you raise your voice on me like that?"

"Do I look like I need your care? What am I, three? You're not my mother, Y/N, fuck off."

Fuck— 

You gave out a sarcastic laugh but tears are starting to fall on your eyes. It didn't move him though, for him, you're just being dramatic. In the end, he thought if he's going to apologize, you're still back on your usual self, tailing him everywhere. Giving him everything he needs. But you made up your mind. You're sick of this.

Sick of him, sick of this stupid relationship.

"Look at you, you're being selfish!"

"You're the one being selfish, Y/N! You're just thinking about yourself, wanting kisses, hugs, cuddles, and all. Dammit, I have so much work, can't you see?!"

Your whole body froze. He's wrong. He misunderstood you. You just want the best for him, it's not because you just need attention. Yes, you need that too but you're putting it aside, knowing the situation he's in, and all you care for now is his health. But how dare he to spit those words at you?!

"I just want—"

"Y/N, I'm so sick of you! You're my girlfriend and you supposed to understand me but here you are, being childish! I'm so tired of this relationship—"

Losing control, your palm landed on his pale face. He was shocked, this is the first time you ever did that to him.

"Tired of me? Sick of me? Those are supposed to be my lines! I am your girlfriend, Nozel! Not just your damn maid or what but did you ever treated me like one? No! I always understand you yet you're being unreasonable. That damn paperwork, that damn work, they're more important to you. It's fine with me, to be honest, but the problem is your attitude! You don't know how to manage your priorities. Am I a potato to you? A goddamn piano?"

You're choking on your own words, leaving your boyfriend speechless.

"Y/N, I'm—"

"You're not sorry! You're just going to say that but you're still going to repeat those stupid actions of yours. You'll never fix your attitude! I want to break your thread and needle and to stitch you up but...I refuse. Starting from now, you're on your own."

"Can we talk about this calmly? Y/N, we're just both tired and—"

"Yes, Nozel, we're both tired. That's why I'm ending this stupid relationship we're both in. In that case, you'll be able to work on your paper works without someone worrying about you. Without someone being childish around you."

You walked to the door, tears still falling from your eyes like water pouring out from a faucet. You gripped at the doorknob very, very tight, not wanting to say the words but you're left with no other choice.

"Let's break up, Nozel. We're both fed up."

And with that, you left his office with Nozel unconsciously crying.

[ TIMESKIP ]

After that huge fight, you decided to plan your next motives. On what should you do next. As a result, you planned to have a squad change and the first group that came to your mind is the Black Bulls. Thankfully, you're very fond and close with everybody that's why when Yami told them about your sudden squad change, the members were shocked and happy at the same time.

Packing your things with tears in your eyes, you took off your Silver Eagles' robe.

You're not a part of it anymore, much more of Nozel's life. You ended it last night. He tried to reach up to you again but you shut him off. It's so painful. Very. You spend most of your time with Nozel, no, not in a romantic way, and even though it's just obeying his orders, those are still precious moments to you.

You remembered when he first asked you out, your first kiss when he proposed to you and all. But now, they don't mean anything anymore.

Hearing three knocks from the door, you thought it was Yami but when you opened it, it's Nozel.

"What are you—"

God, he's a mess. He didn't mind braiding his hair anymore and he looked paler than usual and he looked like he just finished crying. You want to hug him so badly, you wanted to comfort him but no, you need to stand up for your words.

"Y/N, don't leave me please..."

Looking away, you grabbed your things. It's already 9 in the morning and Yami and Finral are supposedly waiting for you outside. He tried to hug you but you just push him off and surprisingly, he's lighter than before. He lost weight?!

"Nozel, we're over. Stop."

"Y/N, I beg you! If you want, I can give up my position for you. Please, let me do the things I missed too. Y/N, I'll fix this!"

"How're you going to fix this if you can't even fix yourself?"

Directly looking him in the eyes, you shook your head. He was shaking and so are you but at this point, you needed to be stronger. For yourself, at least. Grabbing his hand, you started your farewell speech for him.

"Nozel, I'm not your life. There're so many girls out there and your world isn't just revolving around me. And don't you dare give up that position of yours, it's your dream, right? I need to go. I'm sorry for leaving, for being selfish like what you said. I want you to change, Nozel. Not for me, but yourself. I'm not responsible for your self-made obstacles, I'm so sorry."

Finally, you let go of his shaking hands.

"I love you. I'll always do. But some things aren't really just meant for each other."

You started walking but soon you had enough distance, you let your tears fall from your eyes. Why is he so selfish? If he just changed his attitude sooner, it wouldn't end like this. If he just showed you much he loves you, you don't have to let go of him.

Loving him is red, it burns.