AS EVERYONE SAT AT THE TABLE and enjoyed the stew, the adults listened to the four-year-old as he talked about how many animals he and Rat had found in the garden earlier, receiving a chuckle or an 'awe' from all sides.

Tessa loved how interested Sawyer was in animals and nature, not many kids showed much interest in that these days. Maybe it was because Tessa never had the money to buy him a PlayStation, and he had lived with her aunt most of the time anyway. And why would a child his age need something like that?

Maybe her son was just naturally enthusiastic about such thingsᅳ which was great.

"And then Rat put the lizard in my hands and it just sat there, didn't run away", Sawyer finished his little story enthusiastically, his feet dangling under the table. "Can I go outside later again, mommy? And when is Happy coming?"

Hearing that Sawyer couldn't wait for Happy to arrive made not only Tessa's but also Maria's heart swell, her lips curled into a loving smile. "Want to show Happy your lizard, huh?"

Sawyer nodded eagerly in Maria's direction. "Yes! I put it in a big box with a lot of grass and water so it'll be okay."

"You're such an attentive boy", the older woman praised as she ruffled the boy's hair.

"Happy is coming tomorrow, baby", Tessa let her son know, refilling his glass with water before looking at him proudly. "Rat told me that you were walking Baxter on the leash all by yourself earlier."

The boy nodded eagerly again, a proud smile on his face. "I did, Baxter listened to me quite well."

"He really did", Rat confirmed, now leaning back, his plate empty in front of him. His gaze gratefully shifted between the two women. "Thanks for the food, it tasted really good."

"Thanks Rat, but honestly, what is your real name?", Maria asked, amused by the nickname the young man had. "That can't be your real name, right?"

He shook his head, chuckling. "No, it's George, ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am, that sounds so old", Maria scolded, shaking her head and pointing a finger at the man. "It's Maria for you, understand?"

"Understood, ma'am", Rat nodded quickly, a shy smile on his face as his shoulders slumped, realizing what he had called the woman again. He quickly corrected himself when he received a stern look from the older woman. "Maria, forgive me."

"I love how tame the boys are around you", Tessa mumbled, snorting a laugh. "You're giving Gemma competition."

"Well, with a bunch of men you have to know how to assert yourself", Maria countered with a chuckle, her eyes dropping as she thought back to how submissive she had been to Tessa's father for years.

"Are you okay?", the dark-haired girl asked carefully, suspecting what was going on in the woman's head. "I'm sorry about my dad againᅳ that should've never happened."

"It's okay, sweetheart. You were one of his victims yourself." She patted Tessa's hand sympathetically, which was resting on the table. "But that's over now."

Rat cleared his throat, the chair scraping lightly against the floor as he stood up. "I'll take care of the dishes. Are you done eating?"

"Yes, thanks George", Maria hummed appreciatively, always amazed at how well behaved the bikers were. "I'll help you in a minute, I want to discuss something with Tessa."

"Don't worry, I can do it", he winked before giving Sawyer a challenging look. "You wanna help me? We're faster together", his eyes slid apologetically to Tessa. "Only if it's okay for you."

The Laney woman waved it off with a small smile. "Of course it's okay for me. Baby, can you help Rat? I think he could use some help", she asked her son lovingly, so Maria could talk to her in peace.

Sawyer, eager as ever, climbed off his chair and walked around the table. When he reached his mom, he tugged at her black shirt and placed a kiss on her cheek as she leaned down towards him. "Can we read a book later, mommy?"

"Of course we can, baby." Her eyes shimmering with tears of emotion, she pulled the four-year-old onto her lap and welcomed him into a hug, placing a kiss on his dark-blonde hair. "I'm proud of you, buddy."

"Love you, mommy", Sawyer murmured, cuddling up to his mom for a moment before slipping off her lap again and following Rat into the kitchen, his small, quick steps disappearing further into the distance.

"I can't believe I never realized what Michael did to you. That I never noticed anything", Maria remarked with a sigh as the two women sat alone in the dining room, guilt gnawing at her.

"How could you? I couldn't say anything or Dad would've taken Sawyer away from me for good", Tessa explained with a shrug, visibly shaken as she thought back to the moment when Michael took Sawyer away from her.

Flashback / almost 5 years ago

After a long night in which Sawyer barely slept a minute, Tessa finally allowed herself to snuggle into her bed, her sleeping son still in her arms. The fear that she would crush him while she slept was present, but she still couldn't manage to put Sawyer in his own bed.

She had bought the crib with the last of her money shortly before Sawyer was born. Michael had been so angry that she had spent money on Sawyer instead of supporting his alcoholism that in a fit of rage he had poured a bottle of beer all over the newly cleaned mattress and stuffed animals after she had set it up.

Fortunately, Tessa knew enough tricks to get the smell and stains out of the material, but it still hurt knowing that she couldn't expect any support from her father, to whom she had always been loyal no matter how he had treated her.

There was just a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling of dread. Michael had threatened to take Sawyer away from her more than once, annoyed by the infant's cries in the middle of the night. But Tessa didn't have enough money to look for her own apartment, not yet.

She had to quit her job a few months ago and who would hire her knowing she had a baby she had to take with her to work? Tessa had no choice but to keep tolerating Michael's tantrums and hoping that he wouldn't come up with any stupid ideas.

The sun shone through the slits in the dark curtain that was supposed to provide some darkness in the room, the humid heat making it almost impossible to get any sleep. Now that Sawyer was finally asleep, Tessa wanted to use the moment to recharge her batteries.

Despite the sleepless nights, the seventeen year old girl wouldn't want to change a thing. The moment she found out she was pregnant, the moment two hearts beat in her body, she knew she would love her son with every fiber of her being.

Shit, she would kill, go to war and move mountains for the little bundle in her arms.

Holding Sawyer tightly against her chest, making sure his face was exposed so he could  breathe, she finally allowed herself to close her eyes, sighing comfortably as tiredness overcame her. But before she could actually fall asleep, the door to her room swung open, causing her to jump.

An angry Michael stormed into the room, followed by her aunt, who Tessa had never likedᅳ but was the only living relative the young woman knew.

"What the hell, Dad?!", she hissed, sitting bolt upright in her bed with Sawyer in her arms, rocking the now fussing baby. "He just fell asleep!"

"That's the damn problem", the man spat, venom dripping from his tongue with every word that fell from it. "Couldn't close a damn eye at night."

"That's because she has no rules", the woman chimed in, only a few years younger than Mike himself, her demeanor unkempt, her breath reeking of alcohol.

"He's a baby, Kelly! You can't have rules for a baby", Tessa gasped wide-eyed, shaking her head in disbelief as she subconsciously scooted further into the nearest corner. "What do you even want here?", she asked suspiciously, cradling the two-month-old boy closer as his crying grew louder.

"Kelly's going to take him and raise him", Mike grumbled, his tone laced with mockery. "With you he'll just be spoiled, that's not what the boy needs. Give him to me."

"I won’t do shit!" Now Tessa's voice rose, panic flashing in her eyes as Mike literally pounced on her, not paying attention to the fact that she was holding his grandson in her arms. "Get away from me!"

For once, Tessa hoped that the neighbors would pay attention and recognize Sawyer's crying and her screaming as a cry for help, but they lived in a run-down area and no one would care what happened behind closed doors.

"Dad stop!" Desperate cries erupted from her throat as Mike grabbed her by her ankles and pulled her forward, his hands quickly reaching for the screaming baby. "Please Dad! I'll leave the house as soon as he starts crying. Or throw me out, whateverᅳ but don't take him away from me!"

"God, what kind of pussy have you raised, Mike?" Kelly mocked, her thin blonde hair falling from her shoulders as she shook her head in amusement. "Looks like you need to teach her to have some fuckin' respect."

"I will once you're gone", the man grunted strainedly, his anger getting worse as Tessa kicked him, causing him to backhand her. "Don't ever do that again!"

A loud gasp fell from her lips as her head snapped to the side, Sawyer almost slipping out of her arms. "Stop fighting! Kelly is going to take that bastard with her no matter what!"

"Dad please..yᅳyou can't do this." Any begging and crying didn't help, it only fueled Mike's anger. He was too drunk and annoyed to show a shred of empathy.

"For fucks sake, Mike! Let me do it." Kelly shot forward, freeing the small bundle from Tessa's arms while Mike's arm slid around his daughter's waist to hold her in place.

"Please!" Tears streamed down Tessa's cheeks, dripping from her chin onto her cleavage until they were finally absorbed by the sleeve of Mike's shirt.

It felt like her heart was falling apart as she watched her son being carried out of the room by her deadbeat aunt, without giving her the chance to fight for him, to say goodbye to him. Instead, Tessa tried desperately to free herself from her father's arms, a scream caught in her throat. The Laney woman couldn't breathe, she was crying so hysterically that she didn't even make a sound anymore.

"Shit!" Groaning, Mike let go of his daughter, placing her on her back on the bed. Grabbing her chin roughly, madness flashing in his eyes, he shook Tessa's body as she became so invested in the situation that she actually couldn't breathe anymore. "Fuckin' breathe, kid!"

Who could've thought that she would suffer a complete breakdown? He still needed her for his dirty work.

Tessa, her vision blurred with tears, unable to take a breath, convulsed on the bed. In a fetal position, with her hands pressed tightly against her chest, she gasped for air, asking herself if she even wanted to live like this, without her son.

She had toᅳ to get her son back, to free him from Kelly's clutches, the older woman too much of a danger for her baby boy.

"Tessa!" With panic now present in Mike's tone, he continued to shake his daughter until she finally took a loud breath, sucking in the air as if she was starving. "Fuck kid, what the hell is wrong with you? The boy is better off with Kelly, what can you offer him, huh ?!"

Shaking his head, he rolled off the small bed, the slats under the mattress creaking with every movement. "Didn't know you could be so damn dramatic."

"I'll never forgive you for this", she choked out, her voice hoarse with pain as she wiped snot and tears from her face with the sleeve of her shirt. "Never."

And for the first time Mike felt something like guilt, just for a brief moment it stung in his chest, causing his face to grimace as he saw the misery lying on the bed, her brown eyes staring blankly at the wall next to him.

"If you do as I say, you'll see him often enough",  he said with a grumble, barely audible as he stumbled out of the room, the pain in his hip from Tessa's kick earlier getting on his last nerve. "But I can't hear the damn crying anymore. Man up and suck it up, buttercup", he added scornfully before finally leaving the room.

Heartbroken and unable to stop the tears from coming, Tessa lay motionless, the fabric of the blanket beneath her soaked with her tears, wetting some strands of her hair as well.

It felt like her life was overᅳ understandable when the only thing that meant something to you was taken away.

But she would get her son back, that much was certainᅳ but the shock and pain sat still too deep, she was too paralyzed to get up and report her father.

Flashback over

"Still, I wish I could've helped you somehow", Maria sighed, squeezing Tessa's hand as a tear rolled down her stepdaughter's cheek, the painful memories too much for the young woman.

"It's okay, Maria, really. You couldn't have done much", Tessa assured the woman, trying to smile, yet she failed miserably. Heaving a bitter laugh, she wiped away the tear. "You know, I was lucky and got my son back. My mom was never this lucky. Mike did the same horrible shit to herᅳ and I hate that she had to go through this, that she had or still has to suffer, not knowing where her child is."

Maria, swallowing softly, nodded in understanding. "I can't imagine life without Happy. If he had been taken away from me..I don't know what I would have done."

"Yeah.." Tessa snorted softly, rubbing the tip of her nose. "When I had contact with her for that short time when I was sixteenᅳ I heard the pain but also the relief in her voice. And then Mike made sure she lost me again."

"Have you ever thought about looking for her? Finding out where she lives?" Maria asked directly, but her tone was gentle and sensitive. "I think that could be good for you. From what you said about your mother, she sounds like a great woman."

"That she is", the young woman replied with a wistful smile, lifting her gaze to look at Maria. "I've thought about it often, but never had the courage, I guess. What if she doesn't want any contact at all anymore?"

Maria, reading the uncertainty in Tessa's eyes, shook her head, tapping Tessa's hand. "Do you really think that? I don't. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that your mother would be happy to hear from you."

Chewing on her bottom lip, Tessa fiddled with the fringe of her ripped jeans, smiling sheepishly at the thought that someone would actually appreciate a call from her. "Maybe I should look for herᅳ also so that Sawyer can meet his grandma."

"I think that's a good idea", Maria remarked happily. "And until then, I'm happy to take on the role of grandma for the little guy, even if I can't be with you every day."

"Even if I find my mother", Tessa began, looking intently at the woman next to her. "You're still going to be a grandma figure in Sawyer's life. And if things with Happy and me actually last, then that's kind of what you are anyway, right?"

Humming, the older woman nodded. "Rightᅳ especially if Happy decides to marry you at some point."

Heat rose to Tessa's cheeks, her smile shy but genuine. "You think he would want that at some point? A relationship with all that entails? I mean..you know him better than I do."

"I wouldn't say I know him better", Maria said with a laugh, shaking her head. "Just in a different way than you do. But I'm convinced that Happy wants the whole package, otherwise he wouldn't have let you get so close to him in the first place."

"Sounds pretty good", Tessa stated matter-of-factly, her heart pounding against her chest. This is everything she had ever longed for. A real family.

"Come on, let's help the boys before they flood my kitchen." Amused, Maria winked at the younger girl as she stood up, drawing a laugh from Tessa.

"Probably a good idea", she added with a chuckle before she and the Lowman woman followed the splashing sounds coming from the kitchen.

ᅳ

WHILE TESSA AND SAWYER were at his mom's in Bakersfield, Happy made sure to start renovating the guest room immediatelyᅳ after all, it had to be finished by tomorrow so he could head up to Bakersfield too.

With the help of the others, everything was done relatively quickly and the guys were within a good time frame when it came to wallpapering the room. Besides three white walls, Happy wanted something special for Sawyer, especially because he was passionate about so many things.

In front of the wall with the world map wallpaper there was a white bed especially for children, lovingly decorated by Lyla and Tara, who made sure that Tessa's things were stored in Happy's bedroomᅳ after all, the other room now belonged to Sawyer alone and why shouldn't Tessa share a room with Happy when she was his Old Lady now anyway?

Happy wouldn't accept anything else though, he secretly longed to be close to his girlfriend too much to let her sleep in another room.

"You really tried hard", Jax noted appreciatively. "Didn't expect you to actually get yourself an Old Lady, especially one with a child."

"Wasn't planned", Happy grunted with a shrug as he attached the new lamp to the ceiling. "I never wanted any of this until Tessa showed up. And Sawyer is part of her."

"And you don't have a problem with her having a kid?" Jax asked, genuinely interested.

Eyebrow raised, Chibs' permanent smile widened, chuckling and shaking his head as he placed the blinds on the window. "Ye' think our Killer would do all tha' for t' little boy would he have a problem with him?"

"He didn't even let a prospect do the annoying work", Juice added with a grin, pushing one book after the next onto the small shelf next to the bed. "That means something."

"You idiots are worse than teenage girls", the SAA grumbled as he shook his head with a grin. "I wanted to take care of the room myself, what's wrong with that?"

"Nothin', brother." Chibs slapped the man's back after Happy got off the ladder. "Looks good, do we need anythin' else?"

"Don't think so." Happy took a look around, checking carefully whether everything was set up safely and looked good. "We're done here."

Juice rubbed his hands excitedly, pleased with the results. "I'm sure he'll love it."

"Aye", the Scot nodded in agreement. "What more could a four-year-old want?"

"Abel's gonna be jealous. Guess I'll be the next one doin' a room makeover", Jax chimed in, his signature grin plastered on his lips.

Tara stuck her head in the door as she overheard Jax' words as she walked past. "We were planning on doing that anyway, remember?"

"Nah darlin', just tried to drag it out", he replied with a chuckle, earning an amused eye roll from Tara and a laugh from the others.

"Menᅳ never in the mood to change shit", Lyla chirped cheekily as she came to a stop next to Tara, her hands resting on her hips. "We put Tessa's clothes in your closet and made sure everything looks a little more comfortable", she told Happy with a smile. "You guys still need my help? I have to be at work in an hour."

Happy shook his head, pulling Lyla into a quick hug. "Thanks, really."

Smiling up at him, the blonde just waved it off, happy she was able to help. "I loved helping out", her eyes then fell on Tara. "See you later?"

"Yeah, my next shift is tomorrow and the boys are staying at Gemma's for the night", Tara replied with a nod, running a hand through her brown hair. "Movie night?"

"Sounds good. Piper, Elli and Kenny are at Mary's for the weekend anyway." Lyla placed a quick kiss on the brunette's cheek, bid the others a goodbye and left the house shortly afterwards.

"Your Old Lady seems to be getting comfortable around us", Happy said as Chibs and Juice left the room to get a beer for each of them from the kitchen.

"She does", Jax hummed, relief evident in his tone. "To be honest, I didn't believe this would happen anymore. But Tessa and Lyla seem to have a good influence on her."

Instead of answering, Happy just grunted in agreement, picking up the scraps of wallpaper from the floor and stuffing them into a large trash bag. "I think Tessa needed that tooᅳ just friends who are there for her."

"And Lyla anyway after Ope's death", Jax sighed, after which there was a brief silence, Opie's presence still being missed. "And Gemma doesn't see any of the three as competition."

"Probably better that way", the Killer muttered, knowing, like everyone else, exactly what Gemma could become when she thought someone wanted to take her place. "Thanks again for helping, I'll return the favor as soon as we get back from Bakersfield."

"Nah, it's okay." With his hands shoved deep in his pockets, Jax leaned against the windowsill, one foot crossed in front of the other. "We're all happy that you've finally found someone. Maybe then your grumpy ass will be in a better mood more often."

Happy just snorted as a wide grin crossed Jax' features, a grin of his own on his lips. That cocky bastard.

When Chibs and Juice returned with their own and two more bottles of beer, the men took a break and discussed what would happen to Cal once they found him, Tig and Bobby already out searching every corner for the man Happy wanted to see dead.

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